soft-foxxay
sarah
69 posts
❀ i like to write some raulson stuff || masterlist || requests are closed || love is love ❀
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soft-foxxay · 5 years ago
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Do you think you could right something where Cordelia and misty have a daughter that is in an abusive relationship and what they do about it and how they comfort her?
Sorry I didn't see this earlier, but of course!
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soft-foxxay · 6 years ago
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The journal || two
26 April, 2019
In all ways possible, today was different, today was a gift if I could say. I don't know why or how but I have found the most gorgeous human being ever lived on this planet, the essence of beauty in all definitions.
It's almost impossible to describe her perfection, or how I felt the moment I laid eyes on her. She was like those shooting stars people would cross miles and miles to see, yet like a hidden gem underground nobody knows about. She seemed as if she radiates some force that managed to hypnotize me and control my thoughts to focus on her in a way I couldn't resist, in a way I loved. She became the axis of my mind, and every single thought that roamed around my head resembled her.
In a flashing second my inner self turned into a wild mess, my heart started jumping around here and there in my chest that it could leave my body.
It felt weird, those butterflies eating up in my stomach gave me a brand new feeling that I don't think I've ever experienced before my lucky moment led me to her. I don't know what happened to me, I couldn't think straight, I simply couldn't do anything related to anything logical. It seemed to me like I had been brought to life, magically.
She felt warm, when I was near her I could only feel some sort of relief, like angels wrapping their arms around me in an ever so secure way. The divinity of the moment when her voice echoed through my ears lifted me up to the heavens. I felt like someone who had lost something special then found it at last, I felt like I found her for some reason, as if I was looking for her for years but couldn't find her.
Believe me when I say she's still on my mind till the moment, and the worst part about it is that I can't seem to erase her away from my imagination. I couldn't remove her smile, nor her gentle words from my brain, for basically it's all I'm thinking of since I stepped into this desperate room. Is it too bad that I really really wanna be with her right now? Is it too bad that I wanna feel the warmth from her to fulfill my need? Is it too back that I kind of like her? She's too lovely to ignore though, I don't know how people manage to look at her then look away ever so normally, like seriously, you have just looked at God's finest creature!
Could this actually be love? And if it is, is it that bad that I fell in love with her? I wish I knew.
End.
I dropped my pen from my hand and looked at the notebook on the table, blankly for a second. Tiredness was swallowing me alive that my eyes could barely stay open, my brain was like an old machine and I couldn't even function properly.
I stood up and struggled to make my way towards the bed with dropped shoulders, like a wilted flower. The heavy steps made the short way last for years until I finally could feel the softness of the matress underneath me.
Automatically my head fell back to hit the pillow, in that very second the pillow felt like a piece of heaven, a gift from God and I was grateful. The visions in front of me were simply black as I closed my eyes, enjoying the little comfort I felt when my eyes were finally shut.
But as soon as the darkness consumed the visions of reality the vision of Lily's perfect figure took over, again. I started to remember the way she smiled so adorably, and just by remembering I felt a heart burst. Soon I started creating non-existent visions, I began to imagine us spending the longest time together, holding her everywhere and at anytime, holding her hand and constantly reminding her how pretty she is. I wanted her with me, right now, right here.
All of this seemingly endless thinking drowned me deeper in sleep, my eyes became heavier, my mind started disconnecting slowly, in a snail's pace until I was dead asleep.
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soft-foxxay · 6 years ago
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Reblog to join the coven of gay witches
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soft-foxxay · 6 years ago
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I need a bf
B - billion
F - fucking dollars
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soft-foxxay · 6 years ago
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Neglectful • foxxay
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Lately, Cordelia had been putting more effort on her position as supreme than anything else, including her relationship with Misty. And lately, Misty had been feeling way too lonely that she started to think that Cordelia is neglecting their relationship on purpose. They barely have little night conversations that usually don't happen because Cordelia is often too tired.
That night wasn't much different, Cordelia was out to manage some stuff leaving Misty alone to deal with her loneliness. Misty was trying to get herself busy with some plants at the greenhouse before she started suffocating with her own overthinking. The tears  threatened her eyes and she felt her explosion approaching, so she let go of what she was doing and decided to go back inside and drown all the useless thoughts with sleep.
As she got in, she caught the sight of Zoe and Madison chattering in the hall, more like lowly arguing, with the fireplace dimly illuminating the white walls. She tried to make her steps unheard as she made her way upstairs, avoiding any kind of contact with the other witches.
She turned the light off as soon as she entered the room, letting the room drown into the darkness, as if she was afraid invisible creatures would see her tears if they fell. She buried herself beneath the covers and gave sleep a way into her, but sleep wasn't there to come.
This was even more torturing to her, to lay awake in bed, surrounded but the emptiness of the room and struggling with her demons that started to swallow her alive.
In that meantime, Cordelia shut the door behind her as she got into the big white mansion, her eyes scanning the place on hope to find Misty somewhere around, but instead all she could find was the two girls disagreeing with each other as usual.
"Where's Misty?" The supreme questioned, a serious tone of concern adoring her voice. Her voice made the two girls lift their heads up towards her.
"How am I supposed to know? My girlfriend or yours?" Madison hurried to answer, clearly showing her annoyance.
Cordelia let the sigh drift out of her lips at Madison's unhelpful answer, and decided to go look Misty by herself. Guilt was running in her veins and burning her up on the inside, she wished that she had spent more time with Misty, not only because she knew that Misty was probably upset now, but also because she missed her so much. She missed everything about her one true love.
She was met by the darkness of the room once she stepped in. Unlike every night, Misty wasn't waiting for her, which grew heartache in her at some point. She took off her shoes and every cloth that covered her body except her underwear and bra before she lied in bed with her arms wrapped around Misty's still waist.
"I don't wanna talk to ya." Misty uttered, which caused the other woman to let go of her much needed sleep and pour her attention on Misty.
"Why is that, love?" Cordelia let her voice fill the room as she planted a bunch of gentle kisses of Misty's bare shoulder.
"Ya know why." The swamp witch tried to suppress the tears within her eyes, but seemingly all her attempts fell off a cliff when her cheeks got damp with tears.
Cordelia did know, by rewinding everything that happened between them through the previous week she came to realize she was pretty neglectful, in a painful way. Her eyes were opened to the fact that she'd been treating Misty like any normal witch in her coven more than a girlfriend. And by that time she came to understand why Misty was upset, she had the right to be.
"I'm sorry I-" She tried to speak, but not even apologizing could wipe away the guilt she felt. How did she not realize before, how did she not see how hurt her lover was, because of her.
"Yeah sure." Misty immediately replied, cutting off Cordelia. The pain her voice added more onto Cordelia, crushing her heart into dust.
She pulled Misty even closer, nuzzling her head into her neck. She filled her senses with Misty's scent like a needed medicine. In one moment she felt like her tears were about to burst out of her eyes in a way she wouldn't resist, but she knew she had to stop herself.
"I'm so sorry, baby. Listen, I know I've been- a big great pain in the ass and I'm not saying I'm not the one to blame, I was wrong for being so damn neglectful. But hey, maybe we can make up now? I was already planning for something for us tonight but to find out that you've already went to bed ruined it, but we're good, okay?" The supreme spoke, in a gentle voice tone that was a little shaky, brushing away a hair lock that blocked the view of Misty's face.
"It doesn't matter, we make up tonight but as you wake, you're no different." Painfully, Misty replied, stabbing a thousand knives right into Cordelia's heart.
"At this point, you're wrong. I just don't want you ever think that all this neglect we've been going through is intended or anything, it's just a tough while we're going through and it will be washed away, from now." She gently whispered into Misty's ear ever so lowly as if she feared someone from outside the walls would hear. She pressed her lips softly on her lover's cheek in a soothing manner, tasting the slight taste of salt the tears left behind.
"We're good, aren't we?" In more like a worried voice Cordelia asked, her heart started beating with concern and her mind made images of what she feared most when she got nothing from Misty as a reply.
In that very moment, as if Misty could tell how concerned Cordelia was, she turned towards the supreme, face to face with her lover as she planned on exposing what was in her heart like an open book.
"I - I was just too scared you don't want me anymore, you don't want us. That thought got me losin' my shit. I - I don't wanna lose you, Delia." She bit on her inner cheek in hard attempts to gather the tears inside her eyes, to make her voice come out as strong as she desired, but before she could even tell, she broke down in tears and became a raging mess of sobs, like a fragile piece of glass shattering in between Cordelia's arms.
"Hell, no no no! This is not happening, erase this thought off your head!" Cordelia tightened her grip on Misty, as if she was trying to keep her together, to keep her from falling apart. She wiped as many tears as she could with the palm of her hand but Misty's tears couldn't seem to stop.
Cordelia tilted the swamp witch's head up a little so she could see the sparkles in her eyes with more of the clearance. Fireworks started lighting up her chest the moment she looked at Misty's eyes, realizing all over again how beautiful everything in her was, in the same time realizing how much of an asshole she was to not care much for such an angel.
She tangled their lower limps together in the form of a cuddle, and wrapped her arms tight around Misty's waist as if to keep her close forever. Only then, Misty's tears stopped flowing like a river out of her eyes, and there was finally an end limit to her sobs that seemed endless a moment ago.
"I want you to be with me forever, no force in the world could ever tear us apart, and that's the only thing I know for certain. I wanna spend every moment I have left with you because during this time I was distant I figured out how fucked I'd be if you ever wanted to let go of me." She smoothly said, more like a whisper, while running her fingers through Misty's wild mess of golden curls.
"You are more like the oxygen I breathe, maybe even more important, more like the light to my eyes. Your existence in my life is an actual necessity, quite simply. If I didn't have you I'd sure be lost, lacking love and maybe even life." She continued her business of brushing Misty's mess of a hair as she spoke.
"I - I love you, like so much." She heard Misty whisper back at her, her voice sounded faint and ever so fragile, lovely in all definitions. With this statement, she was finally feeling the peace of mind, knowing that everything will be just fine even before the sun of the morning shows itself.
"I love you, oh well I adore you. I need you, most of the time it just gets difficult to live knowing that you're not around. I want you, forever." As she spoke, she seemed to be drifting away in her own fantasies and wild imaginations.
Her index finger escaped her control and went under Misty's chin in order to tilt her head up enough for Cordelia to look at her straight in the eyes. Once Cordelia's eyes met Misty's she saw glimmers of hope and love adorning the ocean blue eyes, she saw an entire galaxy of stars roaming in her eyes, beautifully. A hint of a smile lit up the once sad face, giving it a whole different kind of perfect.
Every part of her disobeyed, every part of her ran away from her control, and this effect became significant on her when her lips hovered over Misty's, hesitant to make the move until an urge in her crashed her lips against the petal soft lips of Misty in a gentle kiss that worked absorbing all their discomfort, all troubles away, throwing all to the ocean as if it had never been.
The kiss grew more passionate, more heartfelt when they both needed such thing a long while ago to regain their vitality. Cordelia took Misty's lips in hers ever so  gladly, letting her silently know that she'd go to the ends of the Earth to get this kiss if she had to,and on the other hand, Misty kissed back quite soulfully to complete their passionate action.
Seconds after, their lips parted, still leaving a sweet effect on each other. Misty's head rested comfortably on Cordelia's chest, with Cordelia's arms already wrapping around her and running her fingers through her hair. They went back to the state of peace they wished to return to, and finally, the quietness after the storm was theirs to claim.
"I will be with till my last dying breath, and that's my promise."
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soft-foxxay · 6 years ago
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New book is out, read the first chapter here
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soft-foxxay · 6 years ago
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The journal || one
The clear water of the lake worked as a mirror reflecting the golden rays of sunlight. Three ducks swam here and there around the lake with a lonely goose. One of the three seemed to need a little time on her own but soon she was pulled back with her other sisters who seemed to want her with them. The goose was enjoying a lonely time, floating and relaxing under the sunlight, rushing for the bits of bread the kids throw before the ducks could get them.
I put my book aside and decided that maybe it's better to admire the life around the place; the birds in the lake, the children playing around, fresh lovers filling the atmosphere with love, the scent of coffee and freshly baked croissants. Spring was in the air, flowers started blooming, trees had regained their vitality and the breeze would help brushing away all kinds of pain and worry.
I took and long and slow sip from my coffee that was somewhat cold by this time while watching people passing by. A woman with two dogs running before her, a girl holding hands with her man who offered her a smile that sounded to me a little forced and fake, frankly that moved a slight feeling of annoyance in me, how people can play pretend in love and turn it into a fake ball of lies when it's the truest thing the world knows. I let all of that rest at the back of my mind carelessly because I understood that I didn't know what was going around, and it wasn't a thing I could change.
Amongst everything and everyone, a blessing led my eyes to fall on someone, in the distance I could see her golden slight curls glimmering as the sunlight caressed them. I couldn't help observing her body as she moved around, perfectly curved like a well made sculpture by some mideval artist, with a skin in the color of cream. Her skirt exposed below her knees and a little above them, while her arms were fully shown. As I looked deeper, her eyes were like two diamonds adorning her face, her lips had a perfect shade of pink and a perfect shape. She was like all perfect pieces put together, God's finest creature.
She kept hovering around her little area over and over, setting a canvas on a stand, placing other painted canvas in place and making sure everything was finely displayed, once she was reassured that everything was just they way she wanted she could finally take a seat behind her canvas with a colors pallet in her lap. Her eyes scanned every inch of the place, looking for something to draw, maybe inspiration, but her eyes couldn't stop wandering until few moments later she had decided.
I couldn't tell for how long I just sat in my position, elbow pressed to the table with my cheek pressed to my palm, studying her from afar and daydreaming like a high schooler admiring their crush. I was too enchanted to make a move, she had somehow managed to glue my eyes on her in a way I couldn't take them off her, and in a way I have no clue of she turned my heart into a mess, she became the center of my thoughts, my head was literally blank with only the thought of how gorgeous she was. I was disconnected from the world around me, I was unable to feel anything of it, the beauty of this spot on Earth became nothing, all the noise was turned into a peaceful silence, everything was suddenly tranquil, as if the world stood still.
"Madame, s'il vous plaît." A soft voice of a woman broke through my silence, snapping me out of my beloved daydream.
"Madame?" She repeated herself when she received nothing from me as a response, on hope that I'll pay attention.
"Hmm?" I responded, obviously startled out of my fantasies.
"Pouvez-vous obtenir cette balle pour moi, s'il vous plaît?" She spoke in a powerful French accent, it was easy to tell that I didn't understand a word she uttered but as I noticed that her index was pointing to little red ball somewhere near me, I figured out what she wanted.
I bent down a little to get the ball and as soon as it rested in my palm I handed it to the lady with a silent smile, watching as the smile of the baby in her lap grows when the ball is given to him.
"Merci beaucoup!" She grinned before returning back to entertain her baby, and giving me an opportunity to return back to my daydream.
It felt like I've been distracted away for ages not simply a couple of minutes. As soon as I laid eyes on her, the same tape of feeling seemed to repeat itself, disclosing my emotions on my face with a little smile.
❀❀
It felt like hours and hours of simply sitting in place watching her as she pours her entire concentration on her painting in progress. She knitted her brows together in a frown, bit her bottom lip multiple times in seek for her concentration. She was adorable in every sense of the word.
I had an urge in me to go talk to her, but yet those invisible strings of timidity kept holding me back. I felt like I wanted to get to know her, like I wanted to spend all the time I have left in my life with her, but I didn't have the guts to make a move.
In a complicated series of conclusions, expectations and plans I came to realize that I had to stand up from my chair and go all the way to her before she disappears and I never get the chance to ever achieve my dream of talking to her, or never get to have the pleasant view of her again, and that was exactly what I feared most.
Every part of me trembled like a high skyscraper in the midst of an earthquake as I stood up and made my firm decision of talking to her. The distance of few countable feet in between of us seemed to go for miles and miles and in no way was this helping me overcome my anxiety.
Finally, after what seemed like long ages of walking, I stood right in front of her little collection of canvas, welcoming in a deep breath in order to recollect my faded confidence.
"Bo- bonjour." I let the word crack out of my mouth, frankly the only French word I knew.
As she heard my voice coming from upon her, she lifted her head from the canvas that owned her full attention, looking up at me with a wide grin that managed to touch her ears, as if I was the only person who talked to her today. With all my honesty, this entirely messed up the settings of my heart.
"Bonjour! Comment puis-je vous aider?" She replied in a very lovely french, mixed with her voice that echoed in my ear like angels singing. French never sounded this beautiful before she spoke.
She looked at my blank face that showed literally no expressions due to my lack of understanding of the words that flew out of her lips. She offered me yet another adorable smile that gave her face an even more beautiful form.
"Apologies, I mean, how can I help you?" She translated herself in a language I could understand. Her English held a fascinating mixture of American accent affected by her French which was like a blessing flowing in my ears.
"Uh I was wondering, how much does this one cost, if you sell?" I pointed to one of the canvases with a perfect painting of a sunset.
"Oh, twenty francs. All for twenty francs." She answered with a shiny smile on her face like a bright sun.
"I'm getting this one." I picked up the canvas from the ground and then helped myself get my little wallet out of my pants pocket.
I pulled out a twenty francs bill to realize that it was the only thing I had left, and in someway I couldn't care less about that.
I handed her the money with a wide grin taking over my face, like a child getting their favorite piece of candy, too happy with the piece of beauty that had settled under my armpit, even happier with the fact that I didn't waste away the chance of talking to that angelic figure. But as soon as I took few steps away, swaying around happily, I came to perceive that I hadn't quite attained what I really desired, for so I turned back, with a tiny frown of confusion purposely replacing my grin.
"May I know your name?" I questioned, a bit of seriousness adorned my voice tone.
"Lily. My name is Lily. You?" She had that same smile plastered on her face, that very same smile that made my heart go in endless circles and circles of mindless beating and love whirlpools.
"Perfectly matches you." I tried to make a comfortable statement but my voice failed me. "And my name is Sarah."
I found a difficulty in attempting to excuse myself away due to my awkwardness, and in every way I couldn't get myself to walk away, the invisible strings were drawing me closer to her this time, and I felt like a little piece of iron flings in her massive magnetic field.
Then at last, I managed to use the pause that took over to release myself away from her, walking away to God knows where in light steps that I felt like floating up on the ground. The painting rested underneath my armpit along with my book, it somehow seemed to radiate some kind of energetic happiness that spread in my veins like venom. In those possibly two hours I spent admiring her in the distance, my heart appeared to have an overwhelming explosion of butterflies fluttering their little hyperactive wings everywhere in my stomach in a way that made me feel that feeling of fireworks burning up inside me.
My mind was at a heavenly state of peace, I was in the arms of a genuine joy. Her voice kept echoing over and over in my head, with her charming accent and adorable tone. Her smile was the only thing I could see every time my eyes close as if it was an image painted inside my eyelids. Her name was engraved in my mind. Lily, better say, angel.
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soft-foxxay · 6 years ago
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soft-foxxay · 6 years ago
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𝒏𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚❟ 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕❜𝒅 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌......𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊❜𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒍
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Requested by @acidic-thirlwvll 😊
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soft-foxxay · 6 years ago
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…you are my last hope.
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soft-foxxay · 6 years ago
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The power coming from these photos…it’s immense
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soft-foxxay · 6 years ago
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Sarah Paulson as Cordelia Goode in American Horror Story: Apocalypse (Happy Birthday Katie @beverlymaarsh​! ❤️)
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soft-foxxay · 6 years ago
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soft-foxxay · 6 years ago
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soft-foxxay · 6 years ago
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soft-foxxay · 6 years ago
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She’s finally home.
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soft-foxxay · 6 years ago
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