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Not to be dramatic but i cant feel joy
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Im learning how to play steady as she goes on the drums rn and i always hit this point in learning where my body learns faster than my brain and i overthink it and keep getting stuck
#idk if its an adhd thing but i have to know the pattern and breakdown in my head too#not just feeling the rhythm#drums are fun
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A lot of us operate in this world based on fear. I recognize that many arent familiar with people acting with kindness for the sake of it and are protective of themselves for that reason but we also stop ourselves from experiencing it by protecting our vulnerability. The only way to grow is to risk being hurt and to be depressed or whatever for a few months before we pick ourselves up and become a stronger version of ourselves. And we have to keep doing it because there is so much in the world to experience. And ik its so so shitty to feel that way but you cant close yourself off. Cynicism really is just the easy way
#i hate that we have to experience our whole lives before coming to these realizations#and im grateful in a way from havingh my extreme experiences push me a lil faster#and its not the experiences thenselves but what it did to you mentally#i was stretched so thin i broke again and again#theres only so much anger and hurt you can carry like might as well kill myself lol#also coming to accept the way people will project on me#im not an angel i recognize that#i had emotionally abusive traits too i wasnt nice
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Source: Chainsaw Man Chensō Man チェンソーマン
by Tatsuki Fujimoto
Colorized by Color Council
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