snail-with-an-identity-crisis

[snail-with-an-identity-crisis]

thinking about how the grief seed madoka used to purify homura’s soul gem (3rd or 4th timeline we see?) is sayaka’s

“don’t let me turn into this” she says, holding the corrupted soul of her best friend

[snail-with-an-identity-crisis]

Can't help thinking about how fucked up it is that Sayaka gets roped into this whole magical girl stuff, heck, is actively invited into it by mami and kyubey, only to be categorically told that she is not supposed to be there once she steps foot into it. You were never supposed to be one, you were an ignorant bystander in your original timeline, living in blissful ignorance while your friend fights. Your admired upperclassman Mami was never supposed to be your friend, that relationship was always meant for Madoka only. You become a magical girl, and the first other mg you meet, Mami's old friend in fact, attempts to beat you out of the space, with extreme predjudice. You're far weaker than every other girl, and this is repeatedly pointed out to you, specifically by the creature that coerced you to fight. You entirely lack the 'potential' to change the world. In every single timeline you become a magical girl, you become a witch, your cosmic punishment for encroaching in a space you were never meant to be. All you ever wanted was to do right by others and yet you're punished for this over and over- because this world of magical girls never wanted you. Not to mention her wish. Over and over again, Sayaka is punished for wanting, for desiring to be more than she is right now. She was destined to be an ignorant bystander and punished for defying that- except she never really had a choice in getting wrapped up in the situation either.

And then your best friend rewrites that universe, and becomes a god. She, your beloved friend who you love and loves you in turn, respects your choices, sees the path you took and accepts it, not as the actions of an irrational interloper, but as your own actions, born from a reasonable set of decisions. She keeps you by her side. You become God's right hand. There is a place for you.

[snail-with-an-identity-crisis]

SHE’S SO HAPPY TO BE HOLDING A PIPEBOMB LMAOOOO

[snail-with-an-identity-crisis]

the ending of fma 03 is literally not that much of a downer if you just sit with it for a minute without moving straight on to cos or comparing with the manga’s happily ever after but what do i knooowwwww

[snail-with-an-identity-crisis]

one time i had a dream where my sister broke my calculator and i tried to fix it but the pieces were too confusing and i cried so hard i woke up

[snail-with-an-identity-crisis]

Fullmetal Alchemist 夏、錬成。2006

[snail-with-an-identity-crisis]

may my soul reach you

[snail-with-an-identity-crisis]

Our worlds

[snail-with-an-identity-crisis]

Am I the only weirdo who feels oddly territorial when someone uses very clearly FMA 03 official art or screenshots in Brotherhood context or tags them as "FMAB"? No the fuck it's not? You either shit on 03 or get to use anything related to it, seems fair to me.

[snail-with-an-identity-crisis]

Isaac literally taught his little brother, his adopted sopping wet miserable cat son to ride a bike, it's so ridiculous but it's so sweet, I love these guys

[snail-with-an-identity-crisis]

Regarding 03’s ending and my own theory on Ed and Al

(Obviously spoiler ridden lol)

Specifically if they would be able to go on without the other

Al would, we know that, because it’s shown to us how determined he is to get Ed back in his life

He’ll die for Ed at the drop of a hat if given the chance, but more on that later

I honestly don’t think Ed would, at least not easily

If he did, it wouldn’t be until after a very long depressive funk, I’d say

We’ve seen multiple times how utterly distressed Ed gets whenever he’s close to losing Al, and how dejected and, dare I say, numb he got when he actually did

He knew Al saved his life, willingly gave up his own in order to save his brother, but Ed couldn’t live with that fact

With zero hesitation, he gave up his own life in return for Al’s

All over again

Al would die for Ed, and Ed would kill for Al, but the opposite it also true

If it came down to it, Al would kill for Ed, and Ed would die for Al

I saw someone say that before and it really stuck with me

I don’t know if Al (after 03 ending) knew that Ed sacrificed himself for Al’s sake or if Ed is just missing, but I don’t think either would sway his determination in getting Ed back

(He went to Izumi to learn more about alchemy in order to find Ed though so maybe he knows it has something to do with that)

The former would make him feel extremely guilty, sure, but I feel like that would just encourage him more, even if it’s coming from a place of self-loathing

On the other side of the gate, Ed is also very fixated on reuniting with Al, but it almost seems like he’s more relaxed with it

Or more lowkey about it, more empty maybe?

I dunno, I can’t quite pinpoint why, he just seems a lot more depressed about it

He has bouts of doubt and hopelessness quite often, and while that doesn’t away him from his goal, I think it’s an important note to take

He wonders if his attempts were in vain, if Al was saved at all, and I can just hear it in his voice and see it on his face that he’s thinking,

“My life isn’t worth anything if I couldn’t even save my little brother.”

But that’s just my own interpretation

[snail-with-an-identity-crisis]

even though his actual fate is sisyphean as fuck, i do still think karma did an excellent job of concluding luka's character arc.

in alien stage, black means understanding death. sua wore black when she decided to die for mizi, mizi wore black when she knew that was sua's plan. ivan wore black when he decided the same about till, till wore black when he thought mizi was dead. hyuna almost always wears black; she carries hyunwoo's death with her at all times.

but luka never wears black. he has a mental block between himself and the concept of death; with the amount of trauma heperu put him through, it'd be more surprising if luka hadn't repressed most of his childhood memories. in a similar way, he blocked out death itself, to protect his own psyche from the true horror of his situation. that's why he never wears black; luka refuses to comprehend death.

until this frame

where luka finally, finally is forced to confront the fact that he killed hyunwoo. it wasn't playfighting, hyunwoo didn't just disappear, luka killed him. and that means his mental block from the concept of death has begun to crumble.

you see, whenever he's not performing, luka still thinks of himself as a child. off-stage, luka exists in this almost fugue like state of regression, quiet and tired and, again, unable to confront death.

later on in karma, though, we finally see him wear black.

he was forced to accept hyuna's death, and with that, accept the fact that death has always been a part of his life. he's just refused to look at it until now.

you have hyunwoo here, as a literal weight on his shoulder; the first time luka properly comprehends the fact that death is also something he inflicted upon others. it all traces back to hyunwoo, to his original sin; the one time he actually was a child, actually couldn't have known what he'd done.

but now he knows. he can never close that pandora's box again.

and, finally, this frame:

a black ring. no, two black rings. connected by a chain.

black for death. ring for love. two for a pair of siblings.

he's paying homage to hyuna and hyunwoo. to the first victims of his love.

[snail-with-an-identity-crisis]

my { fragile } god, my universe ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

[snail-with-an-identity-crisis]

Sua mimicking the stabbing and suffocating sensation that comes from getting shot in the neck and quite literally choking on your own blood before she has to go on stage, knowing she has to prepare for the pain so that her performance will be flawless, so she won't show fear will haunt me for at least several lifetimes, oh my baby..

[snail-with-an-identity-crisis]

I totally didnt forget to post this after Karma or anything

[snail-with-an-identity-crisis]

My fragile god, fading fast.

[snail-with-an-identity-crisis]

every time i get a new person to fma 03's finale im more cognizant of its flaws and and more blown away by the stuff it does get right. so much of it grates on me but the stuff it does succeed at and attempts is so good it makes me want to chew my own arm off. it's such a fucking beautiful mess and i WISH more people engaged with it critically including its flaws instead of going "wow that finale is soooooo weird guess they had no idea what to do" bc it's the opposite for me. they knew EXACTLY what they wanted to do and had so little time to pursue it and they throw like ten massive revelations at you that reframe half the show with so little time to explore what it means. and all these revelations are such gutpunches but also they got like five minutes left and go back to the original thread of the brothers's endless cycle. add to that the dropped threads that are really obvious and actively harm the finale (rose not....being a character in the finale, just a blank reaction slate, which as was put to me last night is like the rose bride but the writing sucks; envy not getting nearly the needed time; the movie coming up and constraining what's going to happen to who BECAUSE ROY SHOULD HAVE DIED; wrath just getting no conclusion) and the upcoming movie already having been in production. add to that the stuff that is pushed in the finale that reframes the entire show but that they didnt touch in conqueror of shamballa.

and yet it remains so bold! the other side of the gate and its meaning is a wtf moment on first watch but genuinely genius on a rewatch, so is the revelation on the nature of alchemy both thematically (as the equivalent as an imperial tool of conquest and war) and literally (as quite literally necromancy), envy killing ed, dante's musing and breakdown of ed while actively being a sexual predator towards him and rose, the lost city under central, terminarcher is so fucking stupid but also is the logical conclusion of a number of threads re the military, roy giving up on being führer, wrath losing his limbs and mother, al standing up and sacrificing himself, envy's true face, just.... mwah. it's not anywhere near the perfection of rgu's finale and never will be, it is so deeply marred by its flaws and production, and id love to discuss these in more detail because instead any criticism of the finale is basically people refusing to engage with it on any level. seeing it as proof that the 03 team were off their rockets and had no idea what they were doing even though it is SO clearly the climax of the show's themes. just. ugh 03 is so difficult to discuss bc the sheer disdain towards it as a show and collective refusal to engage with what it's trying to do inherently makes us fans more defensive of it but it DOES have so many flaws. but these flaws conversely are tied into the things that ARE good about it (except the rose stuff)