sms-vom-tatort

[sms-vom-tatort]

(704): Please don’t die.. At a gay bar… On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.

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(206): He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.

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(617): were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground

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(309): Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.

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(218):Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants? (1-218):Both?

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(713): I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you

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(757): I won't be sarcastic… just naked

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(206): I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.

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(512): We need to rekindle our bromance

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(647): Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics (416): But that's half the fun of it

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(646): I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.

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(610): I think misery doesn’t even think of me as company anymore. I’m an unofficial roommate.

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(240): I'm not totally useless… You can use me as an example of what not to do

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(757): I believe some people would call last night an orgy.

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(907): Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in

[sms-vom-tatort]

(408): if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt

[sms-vom-tatort]

(847): He was like Sweeney Todd… But, without the killing people part. (312): So… He's a barber? (847): No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?