smokimg-wizards-leaf

[smokimg-wizards-leaf]

ARIEL NEEDS LEGS

I was gonna make Emmy draw this but she said no so I drew it myself.

I’ve never drawn a comic before!

edit: WATCH IN MOTION COMIC FORM

[smokimg-wizards-leaf]

I just finished my relistening sesh... I'm now caught up and excited to start the new book

It's time, the next "he who fights with monsters" book is releasing soon. So, as is tradition I will be listening to the entire series all the way through in preparation.

this is gonna be a struggle now that there are ten books

[smokimg-wizards-leaf]

@the-gnomish-bastard

A gnome terrorist has just detonated a chocolate syrup bomb in the mushroom village

Untrue. Gnome brains cannot understand the idea of intentional cruelty. The bomb was intended for this year's shroomday parade and festival, but an ill-timed doze in the cool autumn air caused it to detonate prematurely.

[smokimg-wizards-leaf]

[smokimg-wizards-leaf]

Oh yeah then maybe they can sue your tower fixed... get real pal organic towers are the future

She wants gnomes bones now!

I knew this would happen...

Honestly. Im still in shock.

Half my tower is GONE.

my kobolds are alright thankfully.

I need a nap.

[smokimg-wizards-leaf]

Oh yeah then maybe they can sue your tower fixed... get real pal organic towers are the future

She wants gnomes bones now!

I knew this would happen...

Honestly. Im still in shock.

Half my tower is GONE.

my kobolds are alright thankfully.

I need a nap.

[smokimg-wizards-leaf]

Depends on the other class(s)

would you guys still like me if I multiclassed?

[smokimg-wizards-leaf]

The orb is lesser than the bowl and I won't be persuaded otherwise

🔮 PONDERING THINE BOWL ✨✨

[smokimg-wizards-leaf]

Instantly turns into a fantasy dwarf police captain who looks like Samuel Jackson and pulls out Moon Grass pipe

Times it is acceptable to smoke:

You are literally anyone at anytime in a heist/war/detective/noir movie.

You are a grizzled police chief/captain who’s chewing out their subordinates for reckless behavior.

You’re an old sea captain who people just noticed in the bar and is about to tell their tale. (Pipe and Cigar only)

You’re a demolitions fanatic/expert. (Cigar only)

You’re a wizard informing a halfling that the jewelry given to them by their uncle is in fact a magical artifact created by the dark lord and is the one thing he needs to take over the realm. (Shire Pipe Weed only)

You and your friend are halflings who, with the help of tree people, overtook a wizard’s domain and are now welcoming the king of nearby lands. (Shire Pipe Weed only)

You are Samuel L Jackson.

You are a member of a cartel/mafia.

You are a modern day wizard replenishing their mana by smoking Arcane Crystals (meth) and Moon Stones (crack).

You’ve been fatally wounded by your enemy, then they offer you a smoke in your final moments.

You’re down on your luck and you light a cigarette, but the lighter won’t work and it starts to rain.

You’re explaining the terrifying capabilities of someone who is currently infiltrating your building. (Eg: John Wick, The TF2 Spy.)

You’re about to have a flashback.

You’re Arnold Schwarzenegger.

You’re a fantasy dwarf.

[smokimg-wizards-leaf]

My friend did you remember to take off your constant aura of heat? Everyone knows you're so hot that pastries and potential partners crumble under your gaze

i love the french, i love the way they pronounce Rs like they're disgusted with them

[smokimg-wizards-leaf]

Even the most wizard wizard needs a friend 🥺

Why do wizards need An Elevator?

It is the Elevator, dear. And your question is flawed. Wizards did not make the Elevator. People made it usable, sure; but they didn't make it. And to assume only wizards use it is fairly presumptuous, don't you think?

What we call the Elevator Shaft is a wormhole. The biggest one, by a huge margin. It connects every place in every universe in every multiverse. There are other wormholes, sure, and they are commonly used; but they are smaller; limited. The Elevator Shaft is the only one of its size and power.

The Elevator itself is a construct made to traverse the Shaft. But it needs someone manning it. And as of now, only two people are able to operate it. One of them being yours truly. Without one of us to operate it, people wouldn't be able to enter it at all; and on the off-chance they could, they wouldn't know how to arrive where they need, provided they even survive.

[smokimg-wizards-leaf]

Okay but like in general what else is there to do?

You can freeze air (protective barrier)

You can throw ice (ice spike)

You can freeze the ground (frost slam)

You can freeze the area (blizzard)

I guess you could freeze people... or make like a perma frost curse that would be pretty cool but still

There are way too fucking few cryomancy options in dnd.

WHERE ARE MY ICE POWERS, WOTC???

[smokimg-wizards-leaf]

Those are dead gods and I won't let anyone ever tell me differently

new irrational phobia: naturally-occurring sandstone concretions found in France known as "gogottes"

[smokimg-wizards-leaf]

Alright so if you and I ever go on an adventure (which I'm always down for an adventure) you can do the bulk of travel but I can get us to the lobby!

Why do wizards need An Elevator?

It is the Elevator, dear. And your question is flawed. Wizards did not make the Elevator. People made it usable, sure; but they didn't make it. And to assume only wizards use it is fairly presumptuous, don't you think?

What we call the Elevator Shaft is a wormhole. The biggest one, by a huge margin. It connects every place in every universe in every multiverse. There are other wormholes, sure, and they are commonly used; but they are smaller; limited. The Elevator Shaft is the only one of its size and power.

The Elevator itself is a construct made to traverse the Shaft. But it needs someone manning it. And as of now, only two people are able to operate it. One of them being yours truly. Without one of us to operate it, people wouldn't be able to enter it at all; and on the off-chance they could, they wouldn't know how to arrive where they need, provided they even survive.

[smokimg-wizards-leaf]

Non-magical yes but I need to keep a charging crystal with me for the return trip... anti-magic is harder I'll admit... but the real question... can it get to the lobby?

Why do wizards need An Elevator?

It is the Elevator, dear. And your question is flawed. Wizards did not make the Elevator. People made it usable, sure; but they didn't make it. And to assume only wizards use it is fairly presumptuous, don't you think?

What we call the Elevator Shaft is a wormhole. The biggest one, by a huge margin. It connects every place in every universe in every multiverse. There are other wormholes, sure, and they are commonly used; but they are smaller; limited. The Elevator Shaft is the only one of its size and power.

The Elevator itself is a construct made to traverse the Shaft. But it needs someone manning it. And as of now, only two people are able to operate it. One of them being yours truly. Without one of us to operate it, people wouldn't be able to enter it at all; and on the off-chance they could, they wouldn't know how to arrive where they need, provided they even survive.

[smokimg-wizards-leaf]

Why do wizards need An Elevator?

It is the Elevator, dear. And your question is flawed. Wizards did not make the Elevator. People made it usable, sure; but they didn't make it. And to assume only wizards use it is fairly presumptuous, don't you think?

What we call the Elevator Shaft is a wormhole. The biggest one, by a huge margin. It connects every place in every universe in every multiverse. There are other wormholes, sure, and they are commonly used; but they are smaller; limited. The Elevator Shaft is the only one of its size and power.

The Elevator itself is a construct made to traverse the Shaft. But it needs someone manning it. And as of now, only two people are able to operate it. One of them being yours truly. Without one of us to operate it, people wouldn't be able to enter it at all; and on the off-chance they could, they wouldn't know how to arrive where they need, provided they even survive.