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Worst Husbands: A List

1. Zeus

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Sol Headcanons

Requested by @zdragon57

- Sol and Apollo frequently race when it's not their day to cart the sun through the sky. It's a great way to unwind! So long as they don't end up setting anything on fire (again).

- Sol misses being made of flesh and blood. There are so many fun and interesting things she's had to miss out on because Odin had to be a meanie and turned her into a Sun goddess.

- She just wants to try Ice Cream.

- Pele has been very nice to her. Considering the fact that Pele has more interactions with mortals in the current modern era, she's been able to satiate Sol's wanderlust with stories and games that were made in the last few centuries.

- Sol is a big cuddle bug. Unfortunately though, most people (and Gods) end up extra crispy whenever she tries to hug them. This makes Sol really sad. She doesn't want to hurt anyone. She just wanted to be loved!

- The other Sun Gods are either too busy or too bad with emotions to hug Sol. Except for Khepri. He is a good boi. Snuggle the hug bug.

- But on really bad days, when Sol feels like she's at her lowest point, when no one is there for her and she just wishes she weren't there anymore, one very unlikely candidate will come to her side.

- Skoll, one of two children of Fenrir, the beast destined to consume Sol on Ragnarok, will pad over to her side and rest his head on her lap. He's not a bad dog. He doesn't want Sol to be sad. He doesn't hate her, even though he's the one destined to kill her. She didn't do anything wrong, and on some days when she's pulling the Sun through the sky and he manages to catch up, she'll pat him on the head and scratch at just the right spot behind his ears.

- Skoll wishes things were different. Everyone did. But fate couldn't be changed. The only thing they could do was make the most of whatever time they had left before the end of the world.

- Sol likes hugging Skoll because he's a very soft and fluffy boy. He also really likes belly rubs, and Sol always gives the best belly rubs.

- If Sol were ever able to go around in a physical, flesh and blood form, she'd be ecstatic. She would go all over the place, trying to see all the cool new things that the mortals made while she was gone and see if everything Pele told her was true.

- She could finally eat Ice Cream!

- Seeing as she was originally mortal, Sol would most likely end up tying to live a semi-normal life on Earth. She'd still perform all her duties and fight in whatever battles she's needed in, but she'd also do cute wholesome slice-of-life things.

- Don't be too surprised if (if she ever gets her mortal form back) you see a pale red head with golden tattoos all over her body wearing a tasteful orange sundress and walking with a big black wolf that you could swear was covered in fiery markings.

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Feeling like doing an actual headcanons post or two after so long first three gods get a post!

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“Don’t let the Sun Go Down on Me” probably ruined the sex lives of a few gods.

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Stomp Stomp Stomp goes the chicken house

low key Baba might be my new favorite god

i’ve had so much fun with this god release

yeah she weak and she’s bugged to heck

but 

i get to throw bottles at people

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Fuck them kids

Ao Kuang, constantly

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You’re in her DMs. She’s carrying me away in her Chicken House. We are not the same.

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this or that smite ask meme

general

01 - magical or physical

02 - hunter or assassin

03 - warrior or guardian

04 - jump party or emotes

05 - arena or conquest

06 - one main or evenly spread

pantheons (feel free to rearrange the pairings)

07 - arthurian or celtic

08 - chinese or japanese

09 - greek or roman

10 - hindu or mayan

11 - norse or slavic

12 - yoruba or egyptian

13 - polynesian or voodoo

gods

14 - amaterasu, apollo, ra or sol

15 - artemis, awilix or chang’e

16 - athena or ares

17 - rama or ravana

18 - horus or set

19 - hera or persephone

20 - sun wukong or ao kuang

21 - fenrir, hel or jormungandr

22 - bellona, mulan or nike

23 - susano, thor, chaac, or raijin

24 - aphrodite, bastet or freya

25 - chernobog, daji, discordia or loki

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Mulan Headcanons

-Once being a mortal, fighting on the battleground of the gods has become a humbling experience, one that’s caused a major shift in her worldview, especially when it concerns her own place in the world.

This goes double for when she fights with - or against - the deities in her pantheon. These were/are all beings that she both revered and feared. Sometimes, it’s a bit hard not to feel small among them.

-That being said, there’s a certain kinship she feels towards Guan Yu; he’s one that she can truly see as a peer in her eyes. An equal, even.  Mulan often compares herself to the other mortal-turned-godlike and demigods, looking at them as a way to measure her power and growth. 

-A welcomed addition to the battlefield. Regardless of your level of power, a mind for tactics is prized.

-As far as relationships outside the pantheon go, there are few and far between that evolve farther than being studied from a distance, as well as the appropriate fear or admiration. Even generalizes from time to time

For example, among the Greek and Roman pantheons, she could easily pick out a few who, from a tactical point of view, would be great assets to the cause. But everyone else? ‘Too vain, too vicious, too... Bacchus...’

-Soft spot for, and quite impressed by well trained animals. Like Erlang’s dog, and Guan Yu’s horse. Notorious face squisher.  -Often exchanges quick nods of understanding with Thor. 

-A girl worth fighting for? Perhaps

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Achilles: it’ll be fun   Achilles: we’ll make it a boys’ day Achilles: come on you punk bitch Cu Chullan: I can’t believe I have to say this Cu Chullan: I don’t have time to get tested for STIs with you tomorrow (original post found the @critrolememes Twitter)

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Loki: Ok, we gotta get through this locked door. Odin, give me your credit card. Odin: Alright, here. Loki: Good, thanks. Ymir, break the door down!

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Chang’e: “Hou Yi and I are so connected, we finish each other’s-”

Hou Yi: “- Sentences!” Chang’e: “Don’t interrupt me!”

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Bellona is actually super into BDSM, choking/breathplay, and all around just getting smacked around like an absolute bitch. This is also a very useful strategy that has won her many fights.

Amaterasu is disappointed. And slightly turned on.

Da Ji is still thirsty and now that she's learned about this little kink Bellona has she's damn well gonna exploit it.

Amaterasu protect your kinky war loving girlfriend.

UUUuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰₕₕₕₕₕₕₕₕ

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Persephone has a Wooloo

His name is Foniás and he could kill you in your sleep change my mind.

-Mod Kitty

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Letting you know that I have already done lewded the bat boi but I left a warning advisory on the submission since I don't know how to activate the "keep reading" tab. Sorry!!!

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Odin: I sacrificed my eye for infinite knowledge

Zeus: Ha! Nerd!

Odin: Bold words coming from a furry.

Zeus: You DARE!

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Hello, I just wanted to ask if it would be alright to share some Camazotz headcannons both Sfw and Nsfw

Oh of course! We're always happy to see new headcanons from other members of the community. Thank you for wanting to share with us!

- Mod Kitty

Edit: Wait hold on I actually read the full question this time please don't lewd the big bat boi