smeloncurls

[smeloncurls]

your mum called

she remembers youas a childdiscovering, learning, questioningshe remembers youas a teenagergrowing, trying, creating she won’t know youas an adultfloating, watchingleaving her denying she can’t remember youleaving the hospitalshe can’t rememberleaving her babyan odd flashbackmaybe your mum called yesterdayi thought i should say

[smeloncurls]

getting lost

there isn’t an arrowthat points youthe right way there isn’t a voicetelling youall will be okay there isn’t a signdirecting youastray there isn’t a straight pathguiding youto your destination there isn’t anyone elsewalking in your direction this is your journeyyou’ll find where to gowe all get a little lostbefore we’re ready to go home

[smeloncurls]

but I said no

i face you dailyone side of the mirrornaturally i stand straighta right anglea slight rotate i turn lefti turn rightthe same spots still in sight i breathe ini tilt my chinlet it begin i posefor the camerain golden hour is this good enoughto get a likehave i done it right have i made them thinkthis is what they should bea complete lie just like me but todaytoday i said noi’m not joining in…

[smeloncurls]

paddle on

paddle on till sunrisecircle these waterskeep an eye on the skythe boat may rockbut you won’t falli am watching you may not see me, but i am watchingi am the orange pink swirls at sunrisei am the invisible arms that catch your falli am the soft ripples bubbling the wateri am the ladybird walking the rocksi am every cloud in your sky they tell you a grey cloudy skyis scary, but you don’t need to…

[smeloncurls]

death says you're early

death says you’re earlydon’t rush to hang your coatyour stay has been interrupted death didn’t hear you knockdon’t wipe your footyour shoes won’t come off death didn’t see you comingdon’t say goodbyelooks like you’ll be staying

[smeloncurls]

i worry

i worry that after12 years have passedi might forgetthe way you made melaugh, i am scaredthat one day i’ll wake and your face willbe blurred and i won’t rememberwhat if i forget that you taught meto swim, what if i lose every photoyou were ever in how can i remember, how can i forgeti go into the next room come out andforget  here’s what i rememberi know your love, i knew it thenbut i feel it…

[smeloncurls]

here's what i remember

the sweet wrappers waitingto meet the bin, the TV on highestvolume, the way you could touchyour toes at 97, can you still do thatcan you still do that in heaven curlers waiting in line to spin and twirlevery white hair, kettle boiling for thetenth time, glasses upon glassespiled up all for different purpose, andyour smile, yes, your smilethe littlest things that made you chuckle

[smeloncurls]

Content Writing & Poetry Services

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[smeloncurls]

tomorrow

i can’t promise youit’ll be an easy ridebut i will hold your handand dance with you when your time comesand the music stopsplaying, i’ll bring you flowerseveryday and decorate your grave and when tomorrow arrivesand you’re not herei’ll cry, i’ll say goodbyebut tomorrow won’t die

[smeloncurls]

how to exist

how would i knowthere isn’t a single partof me in your headyou don’t thinkabout me, i dreamof cotton candy clouds and salty blue skiesyou revel indark oceans and nightly stormsi know how to existbut it’s not near you

[smeloncurls]

surgery

we took our seatson plastic worn outchairs, tired wallssurrounded us, painfulcarpets rolled out to welcomeus, i wish it was a happy time, as each minuteticked by we waitedcrossed our fingersand held onto hopes they wheeled your bedround, you smiledyou actually smiledand said i’m okay if only the endingturned out the same wayyour chaptercame to an endjust six months later i carry you with…

[smeloncurls]

the absolute limit

i am the onethat keeps my headdown, the one that speaksin soft whispersand gentle tonesthe one that shudders atloud noisesand irritating voices i am the onethat though quietis listening toevery word youhaven’t saidto every thoughtin your headthat you can’t explain i am the onethat writesevery memoryalive on the pagethe one that connectsthe dotsto find an answer but if you hurt herif you push…

[smeloncurls]

modernity

there’s nothing newfor me to document todaythe same painthat lived yesterdayremains in its place it doesn’t wait at the doorit doesn’t knockit doesn’t wait to be let in it lives in my veinsit lives in my headit lives with or without me

[smeloncurls]

dark secret

i am hidingwithin the cloudspainting your facein black windsswirling your featureslike a ribbon round my finger i paintmy confidenceinto swirling cloudswind the ribbonround your fingermy secret never was in danger

[smeloncurls]

unexpected transmission

what if one dayi wake upunable to movewhat if i floatto the blue skiesand don’t come back is there a way backonce the light of the dayhas vanished, will skiesstay blue without me under them, i’m upin the clouds, but i’m not floatingi’m not even breathing, i’m barely moving mel i think we got a problem

[smeloncurls]

simulation

do i existam i just floating i was an islandand you were a cityof broken skyscrapers we’ll pretend i belongwith the treesdon’t hide me away i’ll play alongi’ll pretendi’m doing okay

[smeloncurls]

desire

can i be honestodd numbers make meuncomfortableno TV volume should eversee a 1, 3, 5, 7 or 9 let me be honesteven numbers make memore comfortablegive me something i can appreciatelike a 2, 4, 6, 8 is there anything left to desire