smashingalaxies

[smashingalaxies]

The last thing I need is for my head to be filled with hazy daydreams fueled by soft feelings

[smashingalaxies]

some people need to just mind their own fUCKING BUSINESS IF I WANT HELP I’LL FUCKING ASK FOR IT THANKS STOP SHOVING YOUR NOSE WHERE IT DOESN’T BELONG AND TRYING TO WEED YOUR WAY INTO MY BUSINESS I CAN HANDLE ALL ISSUES WITH MY PROJECTS BY MYSELF

IF I NEED HELP WITH SOMETHING I’M GOING TO FUCKING ASK FOR HELP I DON’T NEED TO FEEL OBLIGATED TO PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY WANT TO DO A KIND THING FOR ME

MY ART PROJECTS ARE LIKE MY CHILDREN OKAY I DON’T WANT OR NEED OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE LIKE I GET IF YOU WANNA POINT OUT TYPOS OR SOMETHING THAT’S FINE “hey your kid has food stuck to his face/hey your kid’s shoe is untied” “oh wow thanks for telling me” BUT DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE GOING TO KEEP A FUCKING LOG OF WHAT’S CONFUSING IN MY STORIES BECAUSE HONESTLY IT’S JUST GOING TO MAKE ME HATE WORKING ON THEM

[smashingalaxies]

Keep it together, girl. Having no one around as a witness is no reason to lose face over such a trivial matter.

[smashingalaxies]

landlady got a new sound system installed and she’s been blasting counrty music all fucking night i’m so fucking close to just having some kinda breakdown

[smashingalaxies]

So I said a thing earlier and I guess it was misinterpreted or misunderstood and I got yelled at so yeah today went from actually okay for once to super shitty and I've been feeling all sorts of negative things all night bc I'm not even being given a chance to apologize

[smashingalaxies]

so like idk if u know or care but my mouth is super fucked up bc i didn’t take care of it properly when i was a kid (still kinda don’t take care of it properly lmfao) so i’m like constantly low key scared something bad will happen to my teeth all the time like the teeth in my lower jaw are really exposed bc my gums kinda disappeared over the years for whatever reason so i’m scared to eat super crunchy stuff or bite down hard on things with my front teeth bc like what if my teeth just snap outta my jaw like the gums aren’t there to stop that but idk if there’s even a way to fix that to like i’m just stuck like this and maybe i’m overreacting but what if i’m not yknow

anyway i had a minor toothache yesterday for like an hour and now part of my gums are bothering me so y’know first instinct is to panic because my teeth are gonna fall out of my mouth and i’ll just be this freak with missing teeth for no reason and no one will love me bc i’m missing teeth and my mouth is all fucked up and i just look stupid all the time i’m just this gross goblin no one can love

[smashingalaxies]

Hey hi me again Anyway I sent a sappy New Years message to my crush last night I'm having such vivid flashbacks and stressing about it even though he'll probably never respond bc he gets oodles of messages and why should I matter?????

[smashingalaxies]

I'm just a star like any other in the night sky. Indistinguishable from any other, eclipsed by the sun I've grown to adore so much. Unnoticeable should I vanish from the sky. What What What is the point of entertaining these feelings for something so bright, so brilliant, so far beyond my reach?

[smashingalaxies]

If only someone existed that was capable of loving a monster like me. Maybe then I wouldn't struggle with the desire to purge these feelings from my heart.

[smashingalaxies]

All these feelings for people that aren't real and people that have to reason to pick me out of the crowd......

[smashingalaxies]

Honestly what is the fucking point of having romantic/affectionate feelings towards anything at this point

[smashingalaxies]

Everything feels so distant. My words feel thick and gooey, sticking to the roof of my mouth as I try to force them out. Time feels like it's slowed down, everything moving excruciatingly slow for me. My head feels foggy, hazy, like nothing stays put and everything just flies right through it. Worst of all I just feel hollow. Like some part of me has gone missing and I don't know which part but I can't be bothered to find out because it doesn't matter anyway. Right now I just exist, and life keeps happening around me, an entirely separate entity.

[smashingalaxies]

I’ve been lowkey having an anxiety attack since like last night i’ve hardly eaten at all today and even the thought of food makes me queasy I’m just freaking out so bad about my car like i can’t fucking turn the steering wheel so how the fick am i suppoersd to get to work so i cna make money to get it fixed like i feel like i’m susffocating like i’m being strangled a everything is happening so much all at once make it stop make it stop make it stop things were gping so well why are things falling arpart now i can’t handle this waht am i going to dko

[smashingalaxies]

stupid girl you've said too much you didn't think stupid, stupid girl

[smashingalaxies]

i sure do love getting demanding messages from oh-so-entitled dickheads on dating sites, i don’t know why i fucking bother they just make me regret even trying :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[smashingalaxies]

So haha yeah guess who's been struggling with wanting to self harm again

[smashingalaxies]

Like Idk I just don't feel quite like myself lately