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Urgency Becomes Art

My heart is a clenched fist at the center of my chest. Some dark force pushes me forward, forcing me to peer over the edge of abyss. I have always had a fear of heights, of falling or worse yet jumping into the unknown. In a reoccurring nightmare, I am tumbling down a steep hill. Large bags of sand are inches behind me. With every roll, I fall deeper and deeper into darkness. I awaken just as the…

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More about Aspiration

Webster defines ambition as “an eager or inordinate desire for preferment, honor, superiority, power or attainment.”  Reading this I cringe, not wanting to admit that my ego could be so demanding.  Experience teaches me that I am never more unhappy than when I am clamoring for the attention and praise of others.  When I manipulate myself, turning myself into a pretzel in an attempt to please…

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Can One Learn to Aspire?

Can One Learn to Aspire?

How did I, the eldest of six children raised in an unpredictable, violent home, survive the tumult and thrive?  One brother dead of stage four lung cancer at the age of 44.  Two others brothers, high school drop outs, working to drink and drinking to work.  The eldest of the boys, my immediate junior, has been homeless for forty years.  My sister, bless her heart, has survived, made a life for…

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Galloping into the Unknown

Galloping into the Unknown

Anne Truitt, in her Daybook,writes: “artists are like riders who gallop into the night,  eagerly leaning on their horse’s neck, without holding back one bit, into a course of action without having any idea where they will end up.  And they have to do it over and over again.  When the find they have ridden –maybe for years, full tilt–in what is for them a mistaken direction, they must unearth…

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surrender to the muse amused by myself i wander in the tall grass the dew wets my shoes

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surrender to the muse amused by myself i wander in the tall grass the dew wets my shoes

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relevant

what you need to know

how to use it for greater good

every cup matters

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reconciliation may I live with ease past to present future good bank account balanced

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moment into moment

the present moment is

not a finite point. It is boundless,

spacious enough to contain

the past and accommodate the future

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antidepressants, facade, imitation, longing, aping, smiling, haiku, writing, pretending, writers, poetry, memoir

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imitation/facade

around the corner

lies an unknown fate – hidden -

behind the smiling

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scary, writers, haiku, life, darkness, poetry, memoir

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lost

a writer must write

or fall into a darkness

scarier than life

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yoga, meditation, depression, haiku, writing, writers, poetry

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reverence

regarding my thoughts

i turn my face to the sun

my back to darkness

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karma, haiku, writing, habits, writers, Pandit Rajmani Tigunait, Yoga Sutras, yoga, meditation

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step out

beyond our habits

we want to know who we are

karma is a bitch