sleepingguard01

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Anyone who's ever done anything creative needs to fucking see this.

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mē, tangō leviter Miētte cum latus pedīs meī: Miētta, dēmovēre ut nōn incurrere in tē

Miētte, cum oculōs ēius magnōs: tū CALITRĀS Miētte? tū calitrās corpus ēius sīcut follis? ēheu! ēheu! carcer prō Mātre! carcer prō Mātre prō Singula Mīlla Annōs!!!!

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me in the coal mine: oh no i lost my canary because it's so dark in here and i can't hear her singing :( i better light a match so i can find my little songbird!

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everyone

free yourself from the flesh cowboy hat ad

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my family wasn't this strict, but in some sects of buddhism you're not allowed to eat the "five pungent vegetables", onions garlic shallots leeks and umm chives i think, really any of those kind of vegetables. probably some monk ages ago was tired of onion farts stinking up the temple. anyways, one time my brother made a soup using all five of them. he said, "one sip of this, and you'll be reincarnated as a flea."

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Happy New Year! Here’s AEW World Champion MJF getting suplexed by Hatsune Miku

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i mean fuck, i like pills, i like drugs, i like gettin money, i like strippers, i like to fuck, i like day-drinkin and day parties and hollywood, i like doing hollywood shit— snort it, probably would

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I recently got an on-campus job. During the interview process, I requested that I not be scheduled on Friday nights or Saturdays as I am a Jewish student.

My boss immeadiately brightened and rushed to explain - "Of course ! Of course! We want to accomodate you! We have another worker who takes off for Ramadan. Do you need to take off for Ramadan?"

I shook my head, incredibly confused. "Uh. That's. Not my jurisdiction. I'm good." Boss nodded but was sure to add "Let me know if that ever changes. We can help you with Ramadan."

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the wii disc and the gamecube disc on the wii menu are dating btw

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I am exceptionally lucky in that my parents never hit me, grounded me, confiscated my things, banned me from my hobbies or threatened any of these actions to make me behave as a kid. as an adult it has made me realise how very very long a road most people have to traverse before they can take a statement like 'no rule that must be enforced by threat is legitimate' seriously.

[sleepingguard01]

Etho’s [fight] club invite

A silly thing I made very quickly

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me when someone abruptly asks me if i want to go and do something fun together but the fun thing wasn't part of my daily plan:

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Amazing pottery skills

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who let biologists play dnd