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skzfanghorl · 3 years ago

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Remember Me 2 || Han Jisung

Genre: Angst

TW: mention of danger/accident

Disclaimer: The characters I have used is not a representative of them in real life. This is a work of fiction.

"You said what?!" Hyunjin exclaimed refusing to believe what he just heard. You take a deep breathe and repeated what you just said. "I told him that I have an amnesia." you said while closing your eyes. Hyunjin is mad. "Okay let me rephrase my question." he was very frustrated. "Why did you told him that you have an amnesia? Why not just walk away or better yet ignore him?" he asked. "Hyunjin, I was very surprised okay? My first instinct was to ask him the question 'Do I know you?' then the next thing I know I just told him that I cannot remember him. Look, I feel terrible for lying but at the same time I don't. I just feel mad for seeing him again." you sighed as you told Hyunjin. "Y/n, your lie will backfire right back at you." Hyunjin said sofly. He was just concerned at you. "Okay lucky for me, we will not see each other again." you said confidently. "You are back in this town, surrounded by your friends. How sure are you that he will not know that you are lying?" he raised a brow. "Correction, his friends. Not mine. Second, Jisung is too much of a chicken to ask my parents about it. And my friends? They've all cut him off sometime ago. I told them to never tell Jisung where I am. It's easy to tell them 'Hey if Jisung ask about me or say some weird shit don't mind him. We met and I bluffed' that would do." you answered Hyunjin. You gave it some thought while walking home on what to do with your grand lie. All but one thing. "Except, one thing..." you said nervously. "What is it?" Hyunjin asked. You slowly walked to the kitchen countertop and nervously drew circles on it. "I kinda told him that you are my boyfriend" you spoke so softly that Hyunjin almost missed what you said. Almost. "L/n, Y/n, what the hell were you thinking! Me? A person who recently discovered that I am into hot guys? Your roommate for about 4 months now is your boyfriend all of a sudden because of what? You lying! Oh, you wanted to get back at him so bad. Honey, karma will be on your way. You better sleep with one eye open!" Hyunjin said in a very dramatic manner. You did expect his reaction though. It was unfair to Hyunjin that he was dragged in your mess but you were just so caught up with lying when you saw Jisung. "Babe, I'm so sorry. I know that you will never swing my way but I know Jisung. After I saw his look, that look of guilt will only end up to him apologizing and yes, I am trying to get back at him so I added some salt to the wound by saying that I have a boyfriend but the closest to having one is just you my bestfriend." you said with puppy eyes hoping Hyunjin will let this slide. "Besides, like I told you we will never meet again! This town is big for the both of us. And we're only here for a few months while doing our project then we'll be leaving again. Please forgive me, please?" you pleaded. "I am not going to be a pretend boyfriend Y/n." Hyunjin said while rolling his eyes. "Even for me? Your best girl friend who helped you look for so many hot guys around?" you said sweetly. "Well especially you my girl best friend. God, I hated Jisung for what he did to you. You were a mess five months ago when we first met but damn, I feel bad with that you're doing. Are you sure you're going to drag this along?" Hyunjin asked seriously. You've made up your mind. An amnesia and a boyfriend. That would keep Jisung away from you. He will not risk it since what face will he show to you and your "boyfriend" he can never explain who he is and what is your relationship with him. Your plan is almost bulletproof. "Yes, I am sure of this. The hurt he gave me? This me giving it back to him." you said sternly. This town is big. You will make sure to never cross paths again.

5 days later...

Jisung did not even asked for your number. That's his first mistake. How the hell is he going to find you? You were in town where the two of you used to live. You must have a business here and not at your parents. So asking them is a bad idea. As much as he dreaded the thought of begging them to have your information, he is not so sure if the action will be welcomed by your parents. More so your friends. He's stuck. Waiting for luck to see you again. He hasn't been able to sleep since the day he saw you. You look so vibrant. You look happy. His last memory of you was the exact opposite. Tear-stained cheeks, disheaveled hair, and a duffel bag in your shoulders. That's his last memory of you. He regrets it so much. He should have tried harder to let you stay that night and talked it out in the morning. He made a rash choice of breaking up with you because of his pent up frustration. He thought that you were the one making it unbearable for him. With your constant nagging and asking for his attention, he grew tired. But that was stupid. He wasn't tired of you. He was tired of everything but not you. But he only realized that days after you left. He missed your presence. It wasn't home without you. It's not the same. The two of you made so much memories in his home that it was completely empty after you left. Your lingering scent, the morning breakfasts, the warm dinners; he all took that for granted. Now he lost you. You and all your memories of him. But maybe this is his chance. A clean slate to start over again. To prove to you that he has changed. Maybe he can win you over. Right? Oh shoot, you have a boyfriend now. How would that work? Does he treat you better? Are you really happy? Maybe he should just see for himself and then he will willingly back off. Yes, he would do that. He kept thinking about you and he couldn't help it. He should go out for a walk. That will take off his mind from thinking about you. There's this place where you've always wanted to go whenever you're sad. It's a park nearby the river right where he saw you. He wanted to go there and sit down for a while. The laughter of the children might take his mind of a few things. He sighed as he sat down at the bench. He was welcomed by the cool breeze. He was thinking of what he should do when he gets home. Make a song, cook dinner, make a song, wash the dishes, make a song... He does not even know what song to make. His head and heart feels empty. What if-

"Big sister! Look I caught it! I caught it! I told you I don't need your help. You can go now and stop worrying about my ouchie" a bubbly kid interrupted his thoughts. "Oh you are such a cute kid but I'm worried that your ouchie will hurt again later. Let me just keep you a company for a while." Just when he was trying his best to keep his thoughts away from you. You came in his vision. You where standing 2 feet away from him but he hears your voice. He knows it is you. "My ouchie won't hurt anymore okay? I know you are a good big sister but you must be busy too. Look- Big brother!!" the kid jogs toward you. "You saw me catch this bug right? I was so brave right!" the kid asked you with full energy. "Y-yeah I did. You looked very cool!" Jisung replied affectionately. "Can you tell big sister over there that I was so brave so she can go home and rest now? I am worried that she's tired already but she just wants to make sure I am okay" the kid asked sadly.

"Chaeri, kiddo what are you doing there?" you asked slowly approaching the kid and the man he was talking to. As you got closer, you felt your hands go cold. It's Jisung. Why on earth is he here and talking to Chaeri, the kid that got hurt a while ago so you decided to stick for a while to wait for her mom. "This big brother saw me catch the bug and told me I was brave. You can go home now big sis! My ouchie is okay now!" Chaeri said happily. "I can wait for your mom, Chaeri. It's okay I am not busy." you told the kid patting her head. You refused to look at Jisung and you don't want to deal with him. Just ignore him, just ignore him. "Y/n, how about you sit down for a while? You look like you could use a seat." he offered right beside him. Oh hell no. "Um, no thank you I'm fine." you answered with a fake smile. But Chaeri pulled your hand and guided you to sit down. "Big sister, fine. If you want to stay with me at least be with big brother so you won't be bored. That two of you can watch me while waiting for mommy. Big brother, look after big sister for me okay? She was standing for too long her feet might be ouchie too." Chaeri said then she run off to play at the grass catching bugs. "Chaeri don't go far okay?" you shouted. Damn it, you're stuck with Jisung until the kid's mom comes back. "Do you know her?" Jisung asked breaking the silence. "No, I just saw her tripped a while ago. Made sure to put some bandaid and then here I am waiting for her mom to pick her up. I feel worried leaving her alone." you replied. "You still have a soft spot" Jisung said with a smile. "Excuse me?" you asked. "For kids Y/n, for kids. Did you know that you love kids so much? You may not remember this but you take care of kids so well. You love them." he said. "Oh, I see... Well old habits die hard I guess?" you can feel a lump in your throat forming. You don't want to reminisce moments with him. It hurts your heart. You're wounds are still fresh and him bringing back memories is like ripping off the bandage you desparately placed. "Did you also know that this place is your favorite?" he added. "How come you know so much about me?" you challenged. Let's see how he answers that. "We used to be close... so close." he replied sadly. Wow. Close? That's how he would describe your relationship? You lived with this guy for a whole year and you were just close? Damn him. "How come you were not there at the hospital after my accident if we were that close?" you asked with annoyance. "We had a fight. It was a big-" "What about?" you interrupted. "A misunderstanding, I think" he replied stuttering. Good. It means his lying. "Only a misunderstanding? Is that enough to not see me at the hospital?" you asked accusingly. "Are you mad?" Jisung asked you nervously. You blinked so much because you were caught off guard. Jeez, compose yourself will you? Do you really want to get caught? "No, I was just curious." you replied almost whispering.

It's odd. Jisung thought. For a brief moment, he saw you so mad. It's almost as if you remember why you guys fought. Was he imagining things? A couple more minutes have passed and Chaeri's mom already picked her up. You were about to leave and preparing a lousy excuse of a good bye but Jisung will not miss this chance. "Do you want something to eat?" he asked. "Thanks for the offer but I'm really busy." you lied. "Oh, it's alright. Where are you going do you mind if I walk you there I'm not busy and it's almost sunset, it gets pretty dark here." Why of all days? Why must he be so persistent today? "There's no need for that Jisung, my boyfriend will pick me up." lies again and again, please just go already. "Okay we'll wait for him together." he insisted. Except Hyunjin cannot pick you up today. He was out of town because some materials ran off, best of luck if he will return tonight but most likely it will be tomorrow. "Jisung, really it's fine." you fakely smiled.

"He won't pick you up will he?" you kept fidgeting and coming up with excuses. Jisung is starting to notice this since Chaeri left. You were mad earlier and obviously uncomfortable now. He feels guilty for pushing you but something tells him that you are avoiding something.

"What are you talking about?" you replied shakily. You were just so tired today. Jisung reminiscing and being near you is making your resolve crumble. If this goes on you might actually run off to escape. "I said-" he steps closer to you "-he won't pick you up. Because you've been coming up with excuses since Chaeri left. Y/n, I know you better than anyone else in the world. Why are you avoiding me?" that's it. Jisung shoot his shot. And you on the otherhand, felt so weak and scared. How could your mask be off already? Were you really that weak? Five months of trying to build yourself will just crumble down. Can you not really just even for a second, be strong and continue to act like you don't know him?

Jisung must have seen your disoriented state. You look shaken and it hurts his heart. At that moment, he embraced you. "Hey, it's alright. I'm right here. There's no need to be scared, you don't have to be scared of me I just want to know why you're avoiding me so much. You are safe with me you know?" he whisphered while patting your head gently like a scared child. "Stop" but he didn't let go and stop at all. If anything, he embraced you tighter. "I said stop it. Stop this and let go of me." your words must have fallen deaf to his ears, Jisung wasn't letting go at all. You pushed him and struggled a lot but you managed to break free from his embrace. And then you saw this eyes. He was crying. "Why are you crying?" you were confused. If there's anyone who needs to cry at the moment, it should be you. "I'm sorry Y/n. I'm so sorry." he managed to say in between sobs. "I want us to start over even as friends. I am trying so hard but throughout the entire afternoon, I feel like even if you don't remember a single thing, it's like the universe made you so cautious of me because of what I did in the past. Maybe I'm being punished." he looked up then looked at you. "Do you want to know what a real punishment feels like?" you asked. "This. This is what it means to be punished. Trying my very best to get rid of you, but you never go away." Jisung was so confused but he did not say a single word. "I lied. To hurt you. But guess what? It should be the easiest thing to do after hurting me so much, but it's not. I thought that leaving that night was the hardest thing to do but what do we have here? Guess I am wrong because this? This whole lying is consuming me." Your vision is starting to get cloudy because of the unshed tears. "Give me a chance Y/n" Jisung finally replied. "Didn't you hear what I said? I said I lied about everything my-" "I know. I heard it loud and clear." He cut you off. "I don't give a shit if you lied, I deserved that. But please give me the chance to make it up to you. Let's start over please. Y/n I can't continue pretending that I am okay because eversince the day you left, I was never okay. It's like a part of me was taken away the moment I finally understood that you are not coming back after what I've done." He spoke all in one breath. "I can't" you admitted. "I've built myself to get over you. Giving you a chance means that you have to power to hurt me once more. It's too much of a risk that I am not willing to take. You cannot convince me on this. I'm sorry Jisung." "But I love you" he sobbed. "And I loved you." you walked away. And for the final time, you lied again. Because you still love him, but you will never tell him that. But he knows. God, he knows.

Author's Note: This has been on my drafts for too long now. Sorry if it wasn't as good and for any typos 😭 Kinda rushed the ending too because idk when I can write again. Hope you liked this one! :)

#skz han #skz angst #skz hyunjin #stray kids angst #han jisung angst #skz fic

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skzfanghorl · 3 years ago

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K-Pop Spotlight: Stray Kids

Masks off everyone—Stray Kids’ newest mini-album ODDINARY is finally out and it’s time to embrace the maniac within. To celebrate the new release and their upcoming fourth anniversary, we caught up with the group to talk about their new album and single, MANIAC, and the challenges and fulfillment that come with accepting your most authentic self. As a little bonus, we also asked the members to design their own Tumblr blogs (just in case you needed some inspiration). Check out our full interview below!

Tell us about your new mini-album ODDINARY in three words or less, but there’s a catch—you can’t use the words odd or ordinary.

Bang Chan: MANIACS ARE BACK!

Lee Know: Cool.

Changbin: Inner side, volcano, control.

Hyunjin: Super Power song.

HAN: Abnormal, freaky, potential are the three words that I think describe it best. We tried to describe the energy that explodes from our music in a different way this time, by slowly showing control over this energy.

Felix: Maniac, unique, and dark.

Seungmin: Interesting, fascinating, capturing hearts.

I.N: Mania, abnormal, conceptual.

Stray Kids’ music and concepts often encourage young people to be their most authentic selves regardless of other people’s opinions. How does ODDINARY fit into that narrative, and what do you hope your fans take away from it?

Bang Chan: This might not apply to everyone, but I feel like many people have experienced moments where they’re told to act normal (yep, I’ve been through that). We wanted to emphasize that “standards” don’t matter and that you have the authority to let out the “oddness” that’s been sealed inside you all this time.

Changbin: ODDINARY is a compound word that combines “ordinary” and “odd,” meaning that everyone has a normal and slightly weird side. Listeners will be able to experience the everlasting honesty and truthfulness that Stray Kids’ music has always displayed, with the more crazy side that Stray Kids have.

HAN: I hope that STAY and all listeners will be able to follow their hearts, rather than being confined by the judgment of others. I hope everyone also looks forward to the upgraded version of us.

Seungmin: Whatever situation may come, I hope that everyone is able to live in their most honest, unique way with versatility while never forgetting who they truly are. I hope our music can become a small strength.

Lightning round! You’re customizing your own Tumblr blog. Pick an aesthetic and a personal tag!

Bang Chan: Ooft… it’s hard to pick just one because my preferred aesthetics change depending on my mood. But if I had to pick one, it would be cyberpunk. The lights got me, and I’m a fanatic for futuristic stuff.

Lee Know: I want to decorate it using a clean, white tone.

Changbin: I want to use the tags #straykids, #stay, #stage, #music, which all mean a lot to Stray Kids.

Hyunjin: Vintage Tumblr, with #lovestay

HAN: I would like to decorate it like #black #chic to show a lot of calm yet cool atmosphere! I want to use the tags #black #chic #skz #loveyou #STAY.

Felix: #행복이 #felix 🐈‍⬛💛

Seungmin: #Seungtage. I really like vintage furniture and aesthetics, so I would like to decorate it using an organized brown tone.

I.N: I’m into vintage aesthetics these days, so I think I’ll go with vintage.

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