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happy pride :3 i offer religious trauma

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"Where should we go next?"

vaggie & charlie on a shopping date~

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Being a shapeshifter is so much fun! I'm an octopus right now, which means I get to wrap six arms around my boyfriend while we cuddle! Myr isn't excited about the sliminess of it, but myr is still smiling! The fake grumpy goober hehe

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We don’t talk enough about the systemic health effects of casual fatphobia and how much they fucking skew the data to the point where we literally cannot know how much outcomes are actually related to fatness and how much they are related to society not being designed for fat people, like literal design.

My best friend cannot find a bra.

She’s fat. We won’t get into the ~why~ here because it honestly wouldn’t matter whether it was “all her fault” or whether it was a result of outside forces like genes and such, she still deserves a goddamn fucking bra that fits.

And she cannot find a bra.

She’s short and fat, and Fat Bras are usually full cup, but because she’s short the full cups are usually too tall, or the armbands around them are too tall, to the point where what’ll fit around her chest and over her boobs will also dig up into her arms or have such high coverage that she literally cannot wear a shirt with a neckline high enough. Any bra that goes out enough goes too high.

This affects her ability to find clothing, impacting her ability to go outside sometimes, because she has this tiny selection of bras and she constantly has to wash them and when they’re gone she has no idea when she’ll next be able to find another unicorn bra. They appear in a flash usually in startups that die soon after, and COVID has killed most the small businesses remaining where she had even a hint of a chance of finding a fitting bra.

So she wears bras that don’t fit. Or she doesn’t leave the house. One gives her back pain. The other is, obviously, not very active. She likes to be active.

If she brings it up, people suggest breast reduction surgery.

But the thing is, with a good bra, she does not get back pain.

But if it’s that hard to find a good bra, they say, wouldn’t a reduction just be easier?

Wouldn’t it be easier for you to chop off part of your flesh, they say, then for us to cut fabric and underwire to more sizes? As if that is normal. As if that isn’t horrifying.

It’s not just bras. It’s chairs. It’s benches. It’s goddamn shoes. It’s seatbelts. It’s exercise equipment - I just got an exercise bike for Christmas. I had to shop around to find an affordable one that was also rated to take my level of fat. If I were 100 pounds heavier, which some people are? I don’t think any equipment would have existed in a price range that any working person could expect to afford. I don’t think most people even look at the weight ratings on chairs and couches and furniture. Once you start? They are lower than you think. There are absolutely 100% people you love in your life - whether really tall men or just average kinda overweight fat people - who should not be using the things they are using. Who are not getting support from their mattress, their footwear, their office chair. It might be you! You might be thinking “but I am average size!”, but the amount of furniture out there that’s only weighted to about 200lbs? Or 175??? It’s SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU REALIZE. Get into the Proper Fat? The 350lb, 400lb, 500lb fat? There’s virtually nothing.

Seatbelts are not tested for fat bodies and seatbelt extenders aren’t regulated.

We know about the problems with too small a blood pressure cuff. With too low a medicine dose. With no MRI a really fat body can fit in for a thousand miles.

We know, from multiple studies on multiple oppressed communities, that social bias by itself, with zero other compounding factors, can give people worse health outcomes.

Now add up

+ one of the social biases with the least pushback even from the educated liberal set with

+ having a world that is literally not made for you. Where you cannot get clothes, furniture, or transportation in a way that will actually accommodate you,

+ where society is constantly blaming you for this. And even if you somehow (and if you know how, please tell me) manage to retain some sense of self worth and optimism and determination despite all that

+ that’s not gonna magically give you access to the daily supplies a person needs in their home and out in public that’ll make living safe and healthy life literally physically possible.

If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health start a bra company. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health mandate changes to seatbelt requirements. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health have a variety of chairs in your waiting room with at least some being properly Fat Rated. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health, make it easier for fat people to be active by making exercise equipment that fits them, swimwear that’ll actually stay on them, athletic shoes that can bear them. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health ask they be included in more medical trials. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health, promote fat visibility and fat people loving their bodies - because hating yourself has literally never been good for anyone’s health.

If you’re using “concern for health” as a shield to allow you to judge and criticize strangers, you don’t give a fuck about anyone’s health. You’re just an asshole who prefers a veneer of respectability when you bully people. You’re hateful and we can see right through you.

But fatphobia isn’t just bullying. It isn’t just judgment from strangers. It isn’t just medical neglect and medical bias. Even if we could wave a wand and make all that go away, my best friend still wouldn’t have a bra that fits, people still wouldn’t have a chair that supports them, a seatbelt that protects them. It’s literally engineered in. And it slowly kills people day by day by day.

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Morning Cuddles 🎀🌈 & 🗝️

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reminders for willogenic systems:

yes, you can will a system into existence. there are many ways to go about this!

yes, you can call yourselves plural and a system even if you just feel plural. you can call yourselves plural while you’re still questioning.

consciously creating headmates is valid. treating imaginary friends as headmates is valid. assigning personality traits to different aspects of yourself is valid. your plurality is valid, no matter how it manifests.

other people do not get to determine whether or not your system is real. no one else knows you better than you know yourselves.

you are not harming traumagenic systems, stealing our resources, or roleplaying as us just by existing as a willogenic system.

again, you are not harming traumagenic systems in any way, shape, or form simply by existing as yourselves.

don’t listen to those who may tell you otherwise. plural solidarity is possible, and the misguided, uninformed hatred others may have for you is unjustified and misdirected.

this trauma-formed system loves and supports you all. we’re rooting for you, and we hope that your plurality brings you strength, comfort, and peace of mind. you belong in the plural community and the system community, and you make our spaces better simply by existing in them. yes, we mean it. we care about you, and we hope you can have a lovely day today.

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Normalize telling your headmates "I love you."

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Don't know who needs to hear this but this is what we need and have to say.

We will believe you if you said you're plural.

We will accept you if you said you're plural.

We will listen to you ramble about how you found out about being plural.

We will support you if you don't know how your plurality formed.

We accept, support, listen to people who are plurals. No matter how you are formed. No questions asked.

Because that's what we believe in, that's how decency works, that's who we are.

DID, OSDD, UDD, disordered system, not disordered system, traumagenic or not. We WILL believe you.

You are valid, no matter how you formed, no matter what your origins are.

(this is a "fuck you" post to that former friend(of our former core host) who is a singlet anti endo.)

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Sometimes we'll forget we're a system and then someone will just say "I like french toast" and scare the shit out of whoever's fronting 💀

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My support system lives rent free in my brain

(Note: we don’t see each other as like “parts” or whatever, this is just a meme ^^)

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My co-fronter rescuing me when my order is wrong. We hate having to do that, but we will if necessary.

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anyway, never listen to what antis have to say about "DID isn't quirky and fun!!!" because DID/OSDD or not, traumagenic or not, you are allowed to love your system. you are allowed to have a good relationship with your headmates and to enjoy being plural and to embrace yourself as a system. suffering is not a requirement of plurality, and being miserable is not required to be a more valid system.

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>be me

>decide to change your name and pronouns

>tell your friends

>they are supportive and try their best

>a week later you suddenly dislike being called that name or the pronouns and the gender doesnt suit you anymore

>"i must be genderfluid!"

>actually, you're plural

>you idiot

>what have you done

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guess i'll put this here too, even though its past the day in my timezone lol

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Even the nicest, most polite and genuinely curious anons that come into my inbox asking about proship things all have a common misconception about what it means to be a proshipper.

The thing I see most frequently is someone saying that they personally aren't comfortable with a lot of content under the proship umbrella and does that make them an anti or not?

When in reality the whole idea of a "proship umbrella" of content isn't really a thing. The whole concept of a proshipper is just a "ship and let ship" mentality.

I know sometimes it seems like all proshipping means is shipping rape, abuse, incest, etc but that's because those are some very extreme examples of ship dynamics. They're the ones that get brought up the most. "Well I'm not comfortable with _____" or from antis, "You're disgusting if you ship _____".

It's not a requirement of the community to personally ship all those things. It's just that "ship and let ship" includes every type of ship, including the extremely toxic ones.

I'll reiterate that I'm proship through and through, but the majority of my personal ships are very tame. Lots of best friends to lovers, high school sweethearts, etc. That's just what I personally prefer.

But I also know that someone's ships aren't the be all end all tell of a person's character, and certainly not an indication of what they think is good, healthy, or what should be normal in real life.

At the end of the day, proshipping just means ship and let ship. Don't like? Don't read. And do NOT harass real people over fictional characters. If you agree with all that, regardless of what you personally ship, then welcome to the proship community!

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Happy Valentine's Day to everyone! 💗

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More of these two, cuz I'm still feeling inspired

Yes, my love language IS resting with each other, how could you tell?