skye29

[skye29]

At my age I still wonder how someone could father a child/children and just simply walk away from them. How? #trustissues

[skye29]

Whenever I am on the bus I would often wonder if the passengers on the bus going the opposite direction have the same worries that I have.

Are their worries weighing them down as my worries are weighing me down? What are they doing to cope with it?

#randomthougts

[skye29]

Why does one cheat? Eepecially in a marriage?

To the cheater? Why?

To the one cheated on: How do you move forward from it?

Just random thoughts...

[skye29]

Grow old with you. Yeah, about that. How old is old? 30 when you're 20 perhaps 50 when you're 40.

How old is old?

[skye29]

Sweet dreams?!? Or not...

Woke up at 3am with tears streaming down my face.

Dreamt of Jayvee. In my dream he was with someone new. That and 3 little girls. Daughters 😢

Took my rings off my finger and laid it on the table. Left him and he didn't stop me.

Just said to him at least leave me the house and ask them to annul the marriage. The look he gave was that of resignation which was why I went on and left.

How could I fight against 3 little girls. I should know *sigh*

[skye29]

2 old ppl IN THE MIDDLE having a conversation

G: nagtaksil ka ba sa asawa mo?

B: maraming beses.

G: naisip mo bang iwan sya?

B: kahit minsan hindi

B: nagtaksil ka ba sa asawa mo?

G: kahit minsan hindi

B: naisip mo bang iwan sya?

G: maraming beses

Blows my mind!

Excerpt from HINTAYAN NG LANGIT

Very interesting movie. It's on Netflix if anyone's interested. Interesting ending too ☺

[skye29]

How are you?

I dread this question the most.

How honest of an answer are you expecting?

When you next see me I'd rather you not ask me this question. It would be better for us both if you will just say HI.

[skye29]

Your passing...

You were prepared to go. I wasn’t. You said your goodbyes. I didn’t. You expected it. I didn’t. You were so young. So full of life. You loved life and you lived your life everyday. I was so careful of you. So careful of your health. I didn’t want to go through the emotional pain I went through earlier of last year.

What I came to realize though is that no matter how careful I was. No matter what plans I made it wasn’t up to you or me. There is someone higher than us both who had our lives planned long before we were born.

Now I am grateful that I got to spend 14 years of my life with you. I am thankful that I met you. I am grateful that you became a part of my life. I am grateful that God gave me you even for a short time. I LOVE YOU FOREVER & ALWAYS! I MISS YOU…

** 2016 January found this tucked in my bag just a couple of days ago.

[skye29]

Sometimes I have to smile when i think about you. Sometimes I erupt in tears when I think about you.

ncllwg (via wnq-writers)

[skye29]

Love

Wherever you are know that I love you and I always will. I am heartbroken. I can never touch your face, hug you and take care of you anymore. I can talk to you but you will not be able to answer back.

However, do not let me hold you back. Go with your journey with God. These feelings I have now I’m sure will only be temporary. I am praying that your most trying times with me here in my memory will soon be pushed back and only our most joyous ones will be what I will most remember.

I love you with all of my heart and soul. I pray that the time you spent with me were happy too.

I love you…

[skye29]

Where do I begin?

How do you answer someone who asks how you are after losing someone? Where does one begin? How can you find the words to express how your heart is broken into a million pieces? How can you translate the grief that you are feeling without them feeling bad for you or worse showing pity on you? Where does one begin to pick up the pieces after a loss so great? How do you explain to the people you love that no you are not okay. That right now you are at a crossroads and no matter what you do you do not know which path to choose. Where does one begin? When will the feeling of such a great loss ebb? Does time really heal? I am comforted with the thought that indeed he is in a place far better where he was last at. However, my logical mind asks me isn't being with me a happy place too? My faith will answer what my logical mind cannot.

[skye29]

Yolanda

It’s not a question of being ready or not. No one could have been prepared for the destruction that Yolanda brought about. I think we are all just in a state of shock. Dumbfounded! Where does one begin?

A reporter said that there was only one payloader doing the clearing of the roads. The underlying truth may have been there was no one left to operate the machines or are there even machines left to operate.

Inefficiency of the government has been on my Facebook feed since Yolanda hit. Last night I heard on the radio that we only had 2 functioning C130’s that can bring in relief to the Visayas area. Apart from the relief goods you would also need to bring in the volunteers.

It is so easy to pass on the blame. A politician said that they weren’t fully educated on what a storm surge was. At this point it is an effort in futility to blame, blame and to blame some more. I guess if someone has a bright and efficient idea pass it on to the people who are able to use it.

To add fuel to the fire is just so unkind. For the sake of arguement if PNoy wasn’t the president would we have been better prepared? Or Mar Roxas wasn’t the DILG Sec? Or Soliman wasn’t DSWD chief? Or Romualdez wasn’t the Mayor of Tacloban? Who is to say? But since they are there let us work alongside them. Sino ba naman ang may gustong pabayaan ang mga kapwa nating Pilipino sa mga ganitong oras. Syempre gagawan at gagawan natin ng paraan para matulungan sila sa kahit anong paraan na kaya natin.

Bangon Pilipinas!

[skye29]

Worst encounter in a Government hospital, by far!!!

Often overheard are the words "Ay, ayoko dyan public/government yan. Di bale na lang. Dun na lang ako sa private."  Nakakalungkot pero yan ang madalas mong maririnig sa mga nagpapagamot sa ospital dito sa Pilipinas.  Di bale nang wala na silang kakainin kinabukasan dahil sa mahal ng bayarin sa private hospital basta lang ba sa private hospital nila dadalhin ang pasyente nila.

Yesterday while waiting for my niece's Pediatrician at Ospital ng Muntinlupa we saw a family waiting by the admissions area.  I saw the Mom giving the baby girl (about 8 months old) a sponge bath.  In short, pinupunasan kasi nilalagnat and the baby had a Kool Fever pack on her forehead.  I politely advised the mother to concentrate on areas where it's warmest/hottest.  Things that I learned in Healthcare 1!  Nakakaawa na silang tignan kasi nga may sakit si baby.  We found out that they had been there since the day before waiting to be admitted as there was no available room.  The reason why they rushed to the hospital was the baby convulsions at home and the parents were apprehensive because it might happen again.  Lab tests proved inconclusive and the doctor advised them to just bring the baby home and be vigilant with the baby's fever.  Baby's fever had been on and off for 4 days.  They were even advised by the staff at the Emergency Room to wait somewhere else in the hospital because it's "dirty" in the ER and the baby might acquire other diseases while waiting for a room there.  Please refresh my memory ano bang SOP sa mga pasyente na nilalagnat na ng 4 days on and off at sabi ni Nanay na hindi na po siya nakakadede?  Hindi ba lalagyan ng swero?  Dapat yung EMERGENCY ROOM nila tanggalin yung EMERGENCY at itira ROOM na lang kasi di naman sila nagbibigay ng EMERGENT CARE!  Aside from their stint at the ER pumila na din sila sa OPD that day since nandun na sila para lang matignan lang ng Pedia (apparently sabi sa ER wala daw doctor.  Diba dapat kapag walang doctor sarado ang hospital?  Ano lang tinatanggap nila mga nangangnak?) and ang order is for the baby to be admitted.  Imagine these are parents with a sick baby with no sleep.  So when the admissions people advised them that there was a room waiting for them medyo gumaang na ang pakiramdam nila.  Humaba na ng humaba ang kwentuhan namin sa sobrang tagal ng paghihintay nila.  Then this doctor with his long curly locks enters the picture only to say that the room he had reserved for his patient will be going to this family.  Sa loob loob ko EH ANO NGAYON!!!  What is the rationale of you approaching this family and telling that to them.  Gusto mo magpamisa kami para sa ginawa mo? Or fruit basket? Gift cheque?  The mother got so mad at the admissions people kasi akala niya may room na yun pala wala pa at ngayon pa lang sinisimulang linisan.  Imagine the mothers frustration!  Halos 24 hours na silang naghihintay sa lobby kasama ang anak na may sakit tapos malalaman nila that they have been lied to!!!  At that point my Mom stood up and said "Eh doctor, mataas ang lagnat ng bata" sabi ni LORD DOCTOR "Puede naman po silang lumipat ng ibang ospital!"  which in turn my Mom replied to "Paano po kung walang pera?"  doctor said, "KAYA NGA HO LABAS NA HO AKO DYAN!!!"  EH, BAKIT HO KAYO LUMAPIT PA IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You were of no help to anyone!  Kung sino ka mang doctor ka dapat sa iyo di lang bedside manners ang ituro.  Dapat kang turuan ng MANNERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are a PROFESSIONAL as so decreed by the PROFESSIONAL REGULATION COMMISSION of the Philippines.  

    The Professional Regulation Commission is responsible for the administration, implementation and enforcement of regulatory policies on the regulation and licensing of various professions and occupations under its jurisdiction. It is the instrument of the Filipino people in securing for the nation a reliable, trustworthy, and progressive system of developing professionals whose personal integrity and spiritual values are solid and respected, whose competencies are globally competitive, and whose commitment to serve the Filipino nation and the whole community is strong and steadfast.

(Source:  http://www.prc.gov.ph/)

Then if you are a member of this Commission doesn't it follow that you practice it's core values too?  If not then surrender your license to them and tell them that I can not and will not abide by your principles!!!! Sa last line eh bagsak na po kayo Doc.

Kung Nanay ko ang kausap mo ang tanong sa iyo hindi ka ba naturuan ng nanay mo?!?!?!?! Hanggang sa makaalis kami kahapon ang pobreng pamilya ay naghihintay sa OPD para sa pinangakong kwarto sa kanila.  Alas dos na ng tanghali nung natapos kami sa @#$%^&*@# ospital na yun!

Here are my points:  It's a hospital run by the City Government of Muntinlupa hence the name.  Ergo, salaries however measley are being paid by the taxpayers.  Those who do not file their ITR's still pay the 12% VAT so they are taxpayers too.  The least they could do is treat people with common courtesy and respect.  Kahit pa mangmang yan at walang pinagaralan kailangan mong pagsilbihan dahil hindi nga sa hindi sila nakakaintindi.  Laging tandaan hindi po dahil nasa gov't/public hospital mangmang na kinakausap nyo.

The overworked and underpaid mantra na madalas marinig sa mga tao sa gobyerno will not work here.  If that is your sentiment then resign and find a job where your talents will be best utilized.  Katulad ng pagiging madre/pare at guro ang pagsisilbi sa gobyerno ay vocation na din.  Maliit ang sahod madalas delayed but it doesn't give you the right to treat people that way.  Common courtesy and compassion lang.  To the doctors, when you treat patients in a private hospital do you treat them the same?  Will you talk to the AYALA's, the SY's and the powers that be in the same manner?   Kapag sa public hospital po ba kayo nagtratrabaho bigla po bang kumokonti yung mga napag aralan nyo sa med school?  Kapag po ba sa private hospital kayo nagtrtreat ng patients bigla nyo bang naalala yung mga kaalaman nyo?  How is treating a patient in a private setting different from patients in government/public hospitals?  Bakit nagbabago ang pakikitungo sa mga tao depende sa laman ng bulsa nila?  Sa mga taong alam nating kailangang bigyan ng kaunting paliwanag at pasensya dahil nga HINDI NILA NAIINTINDIHAN!!!  Na kailangan ng mas kaunting pang unawa at kaunting pasensya sa pagpapaliwanag.  Believe me naiintindihan ko ang pagod at hirap ng staff lalo na sa government hospital dahil parati yang understaffed.  Kaya nga diba kapag sa gobyerno ka nagpagamot lahat eh naka-asa sa bantay.  Ma'am, bili po kayo ng OB KIT, kailangan po ng antibiotic bili na lang po kayo, kailangan ng underpad ni Mommy, pain reliever.  Lahat kailangan mong bilhin sa labas i-endorse sa nurse at sila ang mag aadminister.  Lahat ipapabili sa iyo.  Okay lang kasi siguro walang resources ang ospital to stock up on their supplies.  Unlike sa private hospitals na sa Pharmacy or sa Central Supply Room na lang manggagaling ang mga bagay na ito.  Naiintindihan ko ang pagod believe me and I sympathize with you.  Ngunit, subalit datapwat ang PAKIKIPAG KAPWA TAO ay dapat di nalilimutan.  It should be integral in every human being!  Or at least man lang sa 8 or 12 hours mo na shift pakitang tao na lang na kunyari you care.

I know some will argue "bleeding heart will get me nowhere" mauubos lang ang energy mo kung ganyan ang magiging ugali mo.  But I will argue that it is their chosen profession.  CHOSEN being the operative word. They went into it with eyes wide open.  Alam mo sa simula pa lang na ganyan ang kalakaran sa gobyerno.  Nakakalungkot at nakakatawang isipin na kapag may pera ka you will be treated with decency and kung wala kang pera kabaligtaran?  Pinagbibili na ba ang manners ngayon????  Sa isang buong araw na pagtratrabaho nila sa ospital na yun at isa lang ang natulungan mo how are you effective in your job?  Pumasok ka sa trabaho dahil "wala lang!"  Public service po ang trabaho ninyo.  Most of your patients are indigent.  Kailangan talaga habaan ang pisi sa pagpapaliwanag.  

Kung walang kwarto ipaliwanag sa pasyente na walang kwarto.  Sa paraan na maiintindihan nya.  Bigyan mo ng choices ang pasyente.  The only way they will learn is if you educate them.  Di naman lahat ng pasyente nag Healthcare 1, diba?!?!?!?!?!?!  

Kaya hindi matanggal ang padrino system sa gobyerno dapat may kakilala ka, dapat may endorsement ka galing kay Senator pulpol at Congressman atras abante.  Kaya nag iinit ang ulo ko is because this is not the 1st time this happened in this hospital.  Parati kang matatanggihan ng admission dyan kasi walang kwarto.  Ilan ba ang hospital sa south aside from Asian?  Hindi lahat ng tao may pangbayad magpagamot sa Asian.  Sa kanila din lang ako nakakita sa admissions form na tatanungin ka kung magkano ang sweldo mo?  Household income etc.  Regardless of how much your salary is ospital po yan kung kailangan ng emergent care, bigyan.  Sabihin na nating they reserve their resources to the more indigent Filipino people pero healthcare po yan.  Paano po yung may kaya ng kaunti pero di pa din kayang magpagamot sa Asian, Makati Med, Manila Doctors at Perpetual.  Ang brackets ng hospital ngayon depende na din sa kung magkano ang kaya mong ipaluwal na pera.  Ang dahilan nila parati sa OSMUN at least kapag nagpupunta ako dun ay walang kwarto.  Walang kwarto! Walang kwarto!  Nakakarindi!  Saan po pupunta ang pasyente kung parating walang kwarto?!!?!?!!?

That is why I am so grateful to my sister's doctor in that hospital.  She advocates for her patients.  This doctor should be given due recognition.  Sa kanya pantay pantay ang pasyente.  Lahat ng consultation nila quality consultation.  Matagal ang mga pasyente sa loob ng doctor's clinic.  Hindi sya run of the mill doctor.  She explains to you what needs to be done.  She will call you out if you're not telling the truth.  She is not afraid to speak her mind.  In the middle of the consult when a patient comes in asking for help she will help.  Ganyang mga klaseng doctor at staff ang kailangan ng isang ospital whether public or private.  So sad na walang patient advocate sa mga ospital dito sa Pilipinas.  Mas nakakalungkot dahil ang pera na dapat sa healthcare at education ay napupunta lang sa mga walang kapararakang bagay na pinagkakagastusan ng mga senador at congressmen.

[skye29]

Father

I meant to do this for father’s day but I was in SG and was having too much fun. Hence I am doing it now to pay tribute to somebody who I owe a lot to.

As defined by the dictionary a FATHER is somebody who has begotten chidren. However, the father I am referring to isn’t flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood. He is Francis to many but Daddy to me!

Daddy came into my life when I was only but a 1st grader. No questions asked, no arguements, no family quorum as what most families nowadays often do. He was just suddenly there a part of our lives. We called him ”Tito Francis.” A cousin asked “why Tito when he is so much like a father to you and your sisters (we, my cousin and me were 7 years old at that time). Thus began the calling of Daddy. Again, no questions just my "mahadera" mind claiming rights to this person I see everyday.

There were so many life’s lessons this man taught me. If he taught GMRC and deportment in all schools our country would be a better place to live in. We were mid-middle class if there is such a thing. All of us went to private schools, had a roof above our heads, ate 3x a day plus meriendas and went out every so often. We also wore hand me downs (lucky me I was the 1st born daughter, hahaha!), used 2nd hand books during school days and had just enough baon for recess. However, movie time was limited to "Betamax" tapes sent over by Papa Romy (my Lolo) as going to the movie house wasn't part of the monthly budget.  We did go to theaters to see movies using "Passes" which he would get via his job.

Discipline was taught by: No TV during school days. Specifically from Sunday night until Thursday night. You can watch TV on a Friday provided that you had already done your homework. Kaya, I wasn’t always updated with what happened on the previous night’s episode of 21 Jumpstreet etc. Being the mahadera that I was I would make excuses to go to my Lola’s house on school nights with the excuse of doing research (my lola had a full volume of Encyclopedia and Science Library) I would often do this to take a peek of LA Law, hahaha. However, it needed to be a quick rendezvous or else I’m going to get grounded for sure.  Apart from the no TV we weren't allowed to go out and play on school days.  We had to focus on our homework.  To top it all we weren't allowed to watch any Tagalog Movies/Series or what have yous.  The only Tagalog allowed in the house was movies of Tito, Vic and Joey and Dolphy.  He said that when we have already mastered the English language then and only then will he allow us to watch Tagalog in the house.  Before there was an English Campaign in school we had already started in the house.  The person caught speaking one word of Tagalog would wash the dishes until said person catches someone speaking Tagalog!  When friends would invite us over for birthdays in their homes all household chores assigned to you should be over and done with before you left for the party.  Asking permission should be a week before the scheduled day out or else no weekend out for us.

Responsibility was taught by: taking care of my younger siblings when both of my parents had to go to work.  The phrase "don't take your eyes off of your sister" was an everyday reminder.  I would often say to myself "then how do I play with my friends if I had a sister beside me at all times?"  Imagine, me telling Ana to sit by the sidewalk/gutter while I played Piko, Jump Rope and football with the "Barkada."  Responsibility was taught by being in charge of the whole brood when my parents had to go out at night. Bed @ 9pm for Batch 1 and I can stay up till they come home if I wanted to.  However much I wanted to stay up I couldn't, hahaha.  Maybe because I spent all of my energy playing that day.

Courtesy and Consideration was taught by: Ana was playing outside with her friends.  She was about 6 or 7.  Ana has a very shrilly voice,  She can shriek and scream at the top of her lungs without hurting her throat.  She was screaming so hard that day that my Dad was abruptly awakened from his nap.  He called Ana brought her inside his room and told her to stay beside the bed for the duration of his sleep without making a single noise.  Thus she learned to be mindful of other people besides her.  Here's another one, I had to go downstairs to get something I was doing for school.  Down the stairs I went didn't notice I was creating such a ruckus with my slippers hitting the floor boards.  Out he went from his room told me to go up and down the stairs 10x without making any noise.  There I learned (and taught my siblings) not to make any noise when Daddy or Mama is sleeping.  To this day when somebody is sleeping even if I'm not in my own house I am mindful and I am quiet.  If there's a phone call for him and he is sleeping instructions were not to wake him up even if it's the President of the Philippines calling.  I guess he cherishes his siesta on weekends since he worked doubly hard on weekdays.  When somebody calls and the stereo/tv volume was up you had to lower it down.  Shouting/Screaming was discouraged because that is being inconsiderate.  When it's time to eat and all children are out (like during summer time) you will not hear them go out the door and scream our names out.  What he would do is get this tiny bell and ring it and all of us would come out from wherever we were and go inside the house.  It either meant that it was time to eat or play time was done for the day.  One day he told Ana to call Maribel who was in her room.  Ana shouted MARIBEL!!! Dad told her "Ana, if I had wanted to call her by shouting out her name I would have done so.  I know how to shout also."

Respect:  During dinner if and when the phone rings you are not to stand up and answer it.  "We are eating.  If it's important they will call again."  So, our relatives knew to hang up after 4 rings when nobody is answering, it means we were eating. You are not allowed to just stand up and walk away after you're done eating.  You have to wait for him to stand up and leave which is the go signal to leave the table.  Imagine our frustration when Mama prepares "Alimasag"   It's his favorite ulam and he takes his time taking the meat out of the shell and it takes him forever to finish.  One time,  I think Vachell fell asleep on her seat waiting for Dad to finish.  In her defense she was not more than 10 years old at that time.  Talking back was NEVER ALLOWED in the house.  I guess that is the reason why Rache and I had journals, wahahaha!

He was strict!  Super strict!  My friends and relatives can attest to this.  Phone calls from boys weren't entertained (we were young, I know!)  "How can you be her classmate when all her classmates are girls?" Hahahaha!  We jokingly called him Hitler when we were younger.  Now only did I realize the value of what he taught me.  Now only did I realize that I shouldn't have felt resentful of the things he was teaching me but to be thankful for all the values because it has equipped me in many ways.  There are so many anecdotes and stories of how strict my Dad was but now I can truly say that I am ever so grateful.

Dad, thank you!

[skye29]

Mechado has been my all time favorite... Come Christmas time I will nag my Mom to prepare it.  

My husband came home with about 2 kilos of tomatoes and I decided that I will make Mechado the Old-fashioned way (I use store bought tomato sauce when tomatoes aren't in season).  I ended up doing this slide show.  My first venture in doing videos such as this.  I plan to make more... hopefully.

[skye29]

The only picture that I had during my sister's wedding reception at Leslie's Restaurant, Alabang.

[skye29]

Family quarrels have a total bitterness unmatched by others. Yet it sometimes happens that they also have a kind of tang, a pleasantness beneath the unpleasantness, based on the tacit understanding that this is not for keeps; that any limb you climb out on will still be there later for you to climb back.

 ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960