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Whenever I take a long car ride I end up exhausted afterwards, and I'm always like "why am I so tired? I was just sitting around doing nothing all day."

But the answer, it turns out, is I was doing something. Riding in a car jars your body in many directions and requires constant microadjustments of your muscles just to stay in place and hold your normal posture. Because you're inside the car, inside the situation, it's easy not to notice all the extra work you're doing just to maintain the status quo.

There's all sorts of work that we think of as "free" that require spending energy: concentrating, making decisions, managing anxiety, maintaining hypervigilance in an unfriendly environment, dealing with stereotype threat, processing a lot of sensory input, repairing skin cells damaged by sun exposure, trying to stay warm in a cold room.

The next time you think you're tired from "nothing", consider instead that you're probably in situation where you're doing a lot of unnoticed extra work just to stay in place.

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What was left when that fire was gone? I thought it felt right but that right was wrong

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Bunch of capricorns~

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Apparently, Queen fans used to choose one hand and paint their nails white or black. Black like Freddie or white like Brian.

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do people on tumblr like. realize that friendships arent therapy

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put me down at once, you lowly peasant!

aw what a ferocious beast

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The dudes from mythbusters are the ultimate unstoppable force vs immovable object,, every time they interact its just

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Love the lego-brick effect of these stacks of monolithic balconies on Manor House, Dallas’s first residential high-rise, built in 1966 on Commerce Street. Architect unrecorded. Photo May 2019 Bauzeitgeist.

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TW: depression/anxiety, medication

I need to fucking rant.

I’ve been off my SSRI for about 2 weeks. I did not quit cold turkey, I tapered off as advised.

I’m lucky so far, no discontinuation symptoms, except one.

BRAIN. MOTHERFUCKING. ZAPS.

This time around my brain zaps have been fucking terrible, I get ‘em every 10 fucking minutes, I get ‘em standing, sitting, walking, talking, basically every waking moment. It’s made me just want to sleep* everything off.

*The irony is the brain zaps also make it harder to fall asleep, but luckily once I’m asleep, I stay asleep, and I oversleep at least 3 different alarms I set... I consider this an indication of just how much brain zaps are tanking my energy levels.

I can’t fucking focus on anything because my concentration gets broken every 5 minutes, and I already am absolute shit at focusing. I take at least 5-10 minutes to get ‘in the zone’ and with my concentration being disrupted every 10 minutes or so. I’ve pretty much given up properly functioning at this point.

Then again, discontinuation symptoms like brain zaps are part and parcel of my long road to recovery. On this long ass journey I’ve already fallen in potholes, tripped over hurdles, crashed through toll gates, all on flat tyres and perpetual low fuel - what’s another few more road humps to get to my destination?

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god fucking help me, being single is so goddamn boring.

i wanna scream so bad all day every day.

i definitely have become emotionally and socially very dependent on a significant other.

it doesn’t help that my friends have all moved on in life - everyone’s married, engaged, settled down with kids, working out of country

here i am, single, lonely, socially isolated even on social media.

and i am absolutely dependent on physical touch. and no one wants to touch me goddamnit i feel like fucking dying.

i feel so drained from the loneliness and the isolation and of course, people will point out that i did this to myself by basically allowing myself to become emotionally dependent on one guy

yes it’s true, and i’m suffering hard for it now.

dear past self, i hope it was worth it, you clingy bitch.

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Oh well.

It’s a strange feeling, but as of 20 Mar, I’m officially single again. After almost 10 years.

I’m honestly fucking relieved now, like... I’m free to build myself up again.

And I’m happier for him too. He’s finally brave enough to take a stand for himself.

Neither of us needs to compromise for each other again.

For the record, we’re still friends. And I’d still trust him with a lot of things.

Although... I shudder at the prospect of having to deal with the loneliness of weekends, since I’m self employed and pretty much have very few activities outside of work and family.

Oh well. To singledom. I’m free to drink all the wine and play computer games all Sunday.

08/09/2009 - 20/03/2019. It was fun while it lasted.

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Some egg memes for awesome egg teens