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[sisterscorned]

Winter balances on a tightrope of sanity as she stands beside’s the clown---though her pale visage is lax. The clown had startled her, but the wave of anxiety she once had felt, subsided and the numbness returned. . .that is until IT mentions a memory in passing, this causes the most subtle curl of a smile, a laugh nearly bubbling out of her but she doesn’t fully commit. Inky hues shift as IT refers to the children, the subtle grin fading into one of curiosity, and she looks back to IT, her gaze showing semblance to a doe. 

“The circus?” Winter questions, her head canting slightly. It’s clear she is processing what IT had said and that she was considering her options, but soon her gaze returns to the children, her brows furrowing slightly, “Okay.” A step is taken so that she stands next to Pennywise. Winter wonders what IT had meant, but judging from the term ‘killer comedy’, IT was going to kill them. . .she wonders how. She wonders if the sight will spark a reaction or if she was truly desensitized by the photographs her father had in his office before the accident. She remembers them vividly. It was just a crime scene, one corpse and some blood, but it changed something in her. From that day forwards she found interest in sick things. She remembers seeing The Exorcist and finding it funny instead of being terrified like the rest of her friends----and now she was welcoming real carnage with open arms. Shame it was children, but she didn’t care. Her mind was clouded in a fog, one that allowed very little compassion to break through.

[sisterscorned]

Ya’ll know what to do !

[sisterscorned]

miscellaneous angst starters.

when were you going to tell me?

you can’t keep doing this to yourself.

that’s…a lot of blood.

can you walk?

please don’t lie to me.

you were supposed to leave.

i’m not going anywhere without you.

shh, it’s okay. it was just a dream.

there was nothing more you could have done.

it wasn’t your fault.

this is all my fault.

you aren’t acting like yourself.

i’m never going to let [her/him/them] hurt you again.

you’re hurting me.

don’t ever do that again.

go to hell.

please don’t cry.

you have to stay awake.

i wish i could take the pain away.

you could have died.

hey – stay with me.

it’ll be over soon.

did you ever love me?

i’m sorry. i can’t do this anymore.

things won’t always hurt this bad.

you passed out.

how much have you had?

i’m okay. it’s all fine.

it’s not okay! you’re not fine!

let me get you something for the pain.

it’s nothing. it’s just a bruise.

it’s clearly not nothing.

have you been to the doctor?

i didn’t mean the things i said.

i thought we meant something.

people who are okay don’t act like this.

you don’t have to go through this by yourself.

i don’t want you to be alone.

please don’t regret me.

i heard you crying.

you need to get some rest.

when was the last time you ate something?

i’m worried about you.

did you have another nightmare?

[name], there’s nobody there.

i want to be happy but i don’t think i deserve it.

please talk to me.

why are you mad at me?

alcohol isn’t going to solve your problems.

don’t leave me.

did you do this to yourself?

it’s breaking my heart to see you like this.

tell me what’s wrong.

tell me how to make it better.

why don’t you care?

get the hell away from me.

please don’t do this.

i can’t believe that you lied to me.

just…stay for the night.

you obviously can’t be trusted to take care of yourself, so let me do it for you.

you can’t die. i won’t let you.

just hang on, okay?

hold my hand if you need to.

i’m sorry.

why do you have a gun?

don’t panic.

just breathe.

you’re bleeding.

i’m trying to stop the bleeding.

you’ve been crying, i can tell.

you should have told me sooner.

i wanted to tell you in person.

a phone call would’ve been nice.

i hate you.

i love you.

[sisterscorned]

Here will be some key elements that will be changing with my portrayal of Winter as well as announcing my canon divergence. Cult has been out for a while and I want to write Winter how I wish she was instead of canon bc sometimes I really hate canon !

Politics & Feminism : I won’t be including this at all really, I’ll be redirecting her hatred completely, focusing it solely on humanity as a whole. I understand it’s things she is passionate about, but I can’t even be bothered to include them in threads so why bother keeping it. It doesn’t interest me, plain and simple.

Ivy & Children : I won’t even acknowledge this ship. I hate it. My Winter had a fascination with Ivy’s anger and it enticed her, but with Oz in the picture she lost interest extremely quick. She doesn’t like kids and I’m not going to pretend that her and Ivy could have run away together and been happy raising Oz after she explicitly stated children fill her with dread. 

Sexuality : I will portray Winter as bisexual with a bigger interest in females. She doesn’t hide her sexuality at all, in fact she doesn’t really even feel a need to defend it. She’ll be with who she wants, when she wants, for whatever reason. Sexually, Winter is numb and RARELY attempts to engage in such acts. They mean nothing to her and she seldom enjoys them. However she will still engage if she has the desire too, just don’t expect it.

Touch : Winter doesn’t like being touched unless she is extremely familiar with someone. She has been abused and any touch that does meet her skin must be by someone she holds extremely dear and trusts. If not, don’t bother touching her, it will piss her off.

Dating and Crushes : Extremely rare. In her eyes everyone is flawed and with past relationships, she always found them and it ruined things. Right now she’s focused on her life and becoming what she envisions success to be.

Kai & Vince : Winter both loves and hates Kai, but she hates herself more for not being there for him when their parents murder-suicide occurred…She however hates Vincent most for never being there for her. Kai was, as much as he could be, which in her eyes sometimes meant the world, but soon everything he says becomes hollow to her. She begins to resent him, little by little and suddenly Winter wants to leave the cult. She knows Kai is careless and she feels every moment she spends with him leads her closer and closer to death. Even with this being the case, she still loves him. She’s at war constantly, questioning if she should stay or run away from him. Constantly questioning if she could live with herself if she turned her back on him. 

Death : As much as she fears it, she’s engorged with the idea of it. It’s what sparks her morbid sense of curiosity. She loves it, and everything it represents. She loves what can come out of it, and she loves what it has turned her into.

[sisterscorned]

“----It is easy. . .but what’s not easy is feeling like I’m exactly where I belong.” Doe hues fall from the other, shifting to the ground, “That this is my punishment for running away when Dad got really bad. . .for abandoning him. Maybe if I was there. . .just. . .a little more then I was, he wouldn’t be like this. Maybe if I hadn’t become so distant and cold. . .” Brows furrow, her head shaking, “I feel. . .like this is all my fault. That Kai is the way he is because of me. . .and that I should suffer for being who I was---who I still AM. Even if it kills me. . .I. . .deserve it. I-Is that wrong----Am I wrong?” Her gaze lifts, staring at the other as she mindlessly toys with the hem of her skirt, her eyes glazed by tears that effortlessly rolled down her pale cheeks. Winter desperately searches for the answer----for the truth and maybe just maybe if she had outside perspective----a friend that were honest and truly cared for her, she’d be able to escape but she was trapped in her mind----in a toxic place that she believed was no chance of nirvana for her. That’d she die and it was the perfect punishment for the sins she believed she had committed.

               ❝ If your brother’s such a shit person who scares you then why don’t you just get away from him? Don’t even give me that ‘it’s not that easy’ crap because it is just that easy. ❞ // @sisterscorned ♥’d for a starter !

[sisterscorned]

❝ I think of you like a sister. ❞

And I darken sentence prompts | Accepting

Winter knows the words are wholesome—that they express a genuine care deep below the surface. She had been only working alongside him for a few weeks but it was long enough to establish a bond of friendship, one the strange girl from Michigan desperately needed on account of the horror that existed behind the Anderson family’s doors.

“You keep talking like that and I’m gonna start thinking you actually care about me." It’s easier to brush it aside, to make a joke—emotions were never really her forte…but she was trying and Steve little by little was proving to bring out her true self though she had spent so long burying it beneath rot. “—Thanks, it…it means a lot.” A container of ice cream is dropped into the display case with little care, her soft doe hues drifting to him, a heavy breath taken in as she provides a slow nod, “Really…It does, especially considering my own brothers could care less.” Lips curl, masking the sadness over her previous statement, “I think it’s fair to say you are like a brother to me too—-one I can actually rely on.” 

[sisterscorned]

Billie Lourd in the American Horror Story: 1984 Cast Announcement Promo.

[sisterscorned]

☪      AND    I     DARKEN     SENTENCE     PROMPTS   .  

*   TAKEN FROM THE BOOK ‘ AND I DARKEN ‘ , CHANGE PRONOUNS AS YOU WISH !

❝ I will cut out your tongue and swallow it. ❞

❝ You will most likely choke to death on your own blood, which will be unfortunate. ❞

❝ I will be both husband and wife and therefore not a widow to be pitied. ❞

❝ Her spine was steel. Her heart was armor. Her eyes were fire. ❞

❝ What will you let be taken away so that you, too, can have power? ❞

❝ Some victories are merely defeat wearing the wrong clothing! ❞

❝ Souls and thrones are irreconcilable. ❞

❝ I cannot afford to lose you, too.❞

❝ You cannot lose something you do not own. ❞

❝ They are less than the mud. ❞

❝ If anyone is going to kill you, it will be me. Understand? ❞

❝ The price of living seems to always be death. ❞

❝ I think of you like a sister. ❞

❝ We cannot always have what we want, no matter how much we want it… ❞

❝ I am the dragon. ❞

❝ You are the only real thing in my life. ❞

❝ Where are you idiots taking me? ❞

❝ I am going to start sleeping with a knife. ❞

❝ If you had had a knife, you would have killed me! ❞

❝ The sooner you stop fighting, the easier your life will be. ❞

❝ I will burn your city to the ground.. ❞

❝ You once told me some lives are worth more than others. ❞

❝ How many deaths before the scales tip out of our favors? ❞

❝ Your are so pretty. Like delicate butterfly beneath my boot.  ❞

❝ You are so mad. Like a rabid hound that needs to be put down. ❞

❝ You look ridiculous. Armor suits you far more than silk. ❞

❝ Take me with you, and I will wear armor the whole time. ❞

❝ There are other ways to beat someone than with fists. ❞

❝ I must tell you that I do not care in the slightest about your petty jealousies.  ❞

❝ I cannot be around you for fear you will finally see what is written across my heart. ❞

❝ You love him like a flower loves the sun. ❞

❝ Nothing holds me here. ❞

❝ It was a lonely, cold thing to live without expectations. ❞

❝ You would not let anyone else kill me. ❞

❝ That honor is mine, and mine alone. ❞

❝ A dragon burned everything around herself until it was purified in ash. ❞

❝ How can you speak of them like they are matters of simple mathematics, a problem to be solved? ❞

❝ Those same fists had always defied everything expected of her. ❞

❝ You think I am worthless? ❞

❝ I can do things you could never dream of. ❞

❝ Women who go into the harem do not come out. It is a permanent position. ❞

❝ I am not going in as a woman. I am going in as an assassin. ❞

❝ Do not thank me. All I did was teach them to fear me. ❞

❝ Next time you hit first, you hit harder, you make certain that your name means fear and pain. ❞

❝ I will not be here to save you again. ❞

❝ You are precious to me. ❞

❝ What is so wrong with wanting to take care of you?  ❞

❝ If I needed or wanted to be taken care of, I would be no better than the women in here! ❞

❝ You and your brother are the only people who truly know me. ❞

❝ It belongs to me, and I belong to it. ❞

❝ People respond to kindness. ❞

❝ They trust a smile more than a promise that you will leave them choking on their own blood. ❞  

❝ It felt like fighting. It felt like falling. It felt like dying. ❞

❝ Belief is not weakness. Faith is the greatest strength we can have. ❞

❝ I still have bruises from the last time. ❞

❝ A true conversion is always only between a man and God. ❞

❝ There is no such thing as cheating. There is only winning or losing. ❞

❝ Weakness is an irresistible lure. ❞

❝ Quit screaming or I will let her eat your supper, too. ❞

❝ And you would be unmarriageable? ❞

❝ Have you been gone? I had not noticed. ❞

❝ I luxuriated in the blessed quiet that you left in your wake. ❞

❝ You cried yourself to sleep every day. ❞

❝ Carve out a life for yourself however you can. No one will do it for you. ❞

❝ Why do you have to destroy everything good we have here? ❞

❝ The stars were static, still and cold in the night, all the fire gone from the sky.  ❞

❝ Love was a weakness, a trap. ❞

❝ What would you sacrifice for power? ❞

❝ I stopped knowing what to fight against. ❞

❝ What exactly does a friend do? ❞

❝ Yes, but my promise is more sincere than your smiles. ❞

❝ I have never been so delighted as I was today. ❞

❝ What stones laid in childhood become the foundation legacies are built on? ❞

❝ If you are too weak to stand being hit and too stupid to avoid it, then you deserve more pain. ❞

[sisterscorned]

The air feels heavy now----but she brushes the feeling away, deep. . .deep . . .deeper into her subconscious, refusing to humor the thought. It was just her anxieties, nothing more. Eyes falter, slowly drifting back to the cliffs edge, her stomach churning at the thought of jumping. Was it wrong to want to know what it was like? What deaths embrace REALLY felt like?

“. . .Sometimes.” She isn’t sure why she answers truthfully, “I think. . .everyone does, at one point or another. I’m not special in waiting the pain to stop.” The forest below beckons her, “Everyone wants to be free of such pain. . .some people just can’t stand to look at it in the mirror anymore.” Now those innocent doe orbs drift back to Peter, “I can’t help but question, is such awareness is a blessing or a curse?” The nausea is stronger as she stares at him, and subconsciously her eyes return to the black mass below,  “I can feel it coming.” She speaks softly, a gentle whisper against the hum of the crickets hiding out of sight, “It’s. . .just a matter of time. . .and I know WHO is going to do it, but there's not point in trying to stop it. There might be two ways but neither of them are appealing to me. I deserve death for not being there for him when he needed me mos, for thoughts of wanting to betray him..” A tear escapes, her eyes closing tightly as a staggered breath escapes and once it does, her eyes reopen, her gaze lifting to the moon. “It’s my burden to bare. . .and mine alone.”

[sisterscorned]

Winter’s love language is. . .

11 Quality Time In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether itʼs spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.

9 Words of Affirmation Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important— hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up.

4 Physical Touch A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you.

3 Acts of Service Can helping with homework really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. When others serve you out of love (and not obligation), you feel truly valued and loved.

3 Receiving Gifts Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols to you of someone else's love and affection for you.

Tagged by : @guardgrove

Tagging : Anyone who looks at this !

[sisterscorned]

Age: 17 - 19

The Anderson household ( Except for Vincent ) moved to Hawkins Illinois after Scott Anderson [father] was paralyzed from the waist down in a motorcycle accident. He lost his job, and was put on disability, which wasn’t enough to cover living in Brookfield Heights , Michigan. Julie Anderson [ Mother ] convinces Scott to move because they would never catch up financially. Scott reluctantly agrees. They sell their house and move.

Once they move, Julie works two jobs to pay for bills the disability didn’t cover. Now that they had two children in college, they struggled heavily. Vincent goes for psychology out of state and is in masters school, Kai goes to a ‘local’ college and is more focused on religious studies out of his own curiosity. Scott resents Kai for his choice and shows that nearly every day by horrible obscenities or unwarranted physical contact.

Winter spends as little time home as possible. She hates her father and can’t bare looking at him. When she is home, she’s a primary target because of her rebellious personality and refusal to conform  to the chaotic household. Kai often has stood up for her, which results in the abuse being guided to him, Winter can only watch as parts of her heart die, her hatred for both her father and herself flourishing instead. 

Most times Winter is very closed off emotionally, but she also desperately seeks friendship to free her from her chains. A lot of people think she’s weird, chaotic and a satan worshiper due to her fashion style---she doesn’t care and instead uses it as another thing to piss off humanity.  She is treated bad at home, but at least in the OUTSIDE world, she has a chance, one that keeps her shoulders cold to any insults directed towards her---one that keeps her feet grounded even with each jab aimed in her direction.

Winter has a a job working in the mall where she is saving up to leave Hawkins but her parents murder-suicide stops her in her tracks. Vincent had been visiting for summer vacation when it happened, and that day killed off any semblance of hope in her, in fact, it crushes her beyond repair simply due to Vincent’s brilliant plan of keeping the deaths secret. She becomes a shell of the rebellious teen she had once been. Vincent leaves once school starts back up, and both Kai and Winter are forced to keep this secret from the world around them so that the disability checks would keep coming in. At this point Winter picks up a second job delivering papers to keep them afloat. Vincent sends them checks because he is doing well for himself, but it isn’t enough to fully support them. Kai drops out of college and soon the situation with Pastor Charles happens which leads Kai into the beginning phases of the Cult.  The beginning is a slow burn until she hits twenty-one, from that point on it will be the same story line. Winter will ultimately end up dying unless someone saves her from the entire cult situation.

[sisterscorned]

Here will be some key elements that will be changing with my portrayal of Winter as well as announcing my canon divergence. Cult has been out for a while and I want to write Winter how I wish she was instead of canon bc sometimes I really hate canon !

Politics & Feminism : I won’t be including this at all really, I’ll be redirecting her hatred completely, focusing it solely on humanity as a whole. I understand it’s things she is passionate about, but I can’t even be bothered to include them in threads so why bother keeping it. It doesn’t interest me, plain and simple.

Ivy & Children : I won’t even acknowledge this ship. I hate it. My Winter had a fascination with Ivy’s anger and it enticed her, but with Oz in the picture she lost interest extremely quick. She doesn’t like kids and I’m not going to pretend that her and Ivy could have run away together and been happy raising Oz after she explicitly stated children fill her with dread. 

Sexuality : I will portray Winter as bisexual with a bigger interest in females. She doesn’t hide her sexuality at all, in fact she doesn’t really even feel a need to defend it. She’ll be with who she wants, when she wants, for whatever reason. Sexually, Winter is numb and RARELY attempts to engage in such acts. They mean nothing to her and she seldom enjoys them. However she will still engage if she has the desire too, just don’t expect it.

Touch : Winter doesn’t like being touched unless she is extremely familiar with someone. She has been abused and any touch that does meet her skin must be by someone she holds extremely dear and trusts. If not, don’t bother touching her, it will piss her off.

Dating and Crushes : Extremely rare. In her eyes everyone is flawed and with past relationships, she always found them and it ruined things. Right now she’s focused on her life and becoming what she envisions success to be.

Kai & Vince : Winter both loves and hates Kai, but she hates herself more for not being there for him when their parents murder-suicide occurred. . .She however hates Vincent most for never being there for her. Kai was, as much as he could be, which in her eyes sometimes meant the world, but soon everything he says becomes hollow to her. She begins to resent him, little by little and suddenly Winter wants to leave the cult. She knows Kai is careless and she feels every moment she spends with him leads her closer and closer to death. Even with this being the case, she still loves him. She’s at war constantly, questioning if she should stay or run away from him. Constantly questioning if she could live with herself if she turned her back on him. 

Death : As much as she fears it, she’s engorged with the idea of it. It’s what sparks her morbid sense of curiosity. She loves it, and everything it represents. She loves what can come out of it, and she loves what it has turned her into.

[sisterscorned]

               I can tell, you’re a sᴜʀᴠɪᴠᴏʀ

    When you’re sᴄᴀʀᴇᴅ, your hands 𝖙𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍                                        And your shoulders 𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖘𝖊 

              But your eyes…                             It doesn’t show in your eyes.                                 That’s how I can tell,                                     Those eyes have seen things.

[sisterscorned]

why do you have a gun?

Miscellaneous angst starters. | accepting

It wasn’t supposed to go down like that---and the fact that it had was just ANOTHER JOKE in the grand scheme of things.  Her life, it was a joke, courtesy of her elder brother. Perhaps she. . .went a little to far this time but considering what Samuels was trying to do, his fate was justified in her eyes. . .the only problem was a raven haired female who had witnessed Winter attempting to fleeing from the crime.

“. . .Because some sick fuck thought I’d let him let him get away with hurting me---That I wouldn’t defend myself.” Doe hues drift to the gun, her brows furrowing, “I wish I felt bad. . .but I don’t.” Eyes return, meeting the other females gaze, “Can I trust that you won’t tell anyone?”

[sisterscorned]

[sisterscorned]

↳ Billie Lourd as Winter Anderson in American Horror Story: Cult • ( Requested by @dramaticirony96 )

[sisterscorned]

miscellaneous angst starters.

when were you going to tell me?

you can’t keep doing this to yourself.

that’s…a lot of blood.

can you walk?

please don’t lie to me.

you were supposed to leave.

i’m not going anywhere without you.

shh, it’s okay. it was just a dream.

there was nothing more you could have done.

it wasn’t your fault.

this is all my fault.

you aren’t acting like yourself.

i’m never going to let [her/him/them] hurt you again.

you’re hurting me.

don’t ever do that again.

go to hell.

please don’t cry.

you have to stay awake.

i wish i could take the pain away.

you could have died.

hey – stay with me.

it’ll be over soon.

did you ever love me?

i’m sorry. i can’t do this anymore.

things won’t always hurt this bad.

you passed out.

how much have you had?

i’m okay. it’s all fine.

it’s not okay! you’re not fine!

let me get you something for the pain.

it’s nothing. it’s just a bruise.

it’s clearly not nothing.

have you been to the doctor?

i didn’t mean the things i said.

i thought we meant something.

people who are okay don’t act like this.

you don’t have to go through this by yourself.

i don’t want you to be alone.

please don’t regret me.

i heard you crying.

you need to get some rest.

when was the last time you ate something?

i’m worried about you.

did you have another nightmare?

[name], there’s nobody there.

i want to be happy but i don’t think i deserve it.

please talk to me.

why are you mad at me?

alcohol isn’t going to solve your problems.

don’t leave me.

did you do this to yourself?

it’s breaking my heart to see you like this.

tell me what’s wrong.

tell me how to make it better.

why don’t you care?

get the hell away from me.

please don’t do this.

i can’t believe that you lied to me.

just…stay for the night.

you obviously can’t be trusted to take care of yourself, so let me do it for you.

you can’t die. i won’t let you.

just hang on, okay?

hold my hand if you need to.

i’m sorry.

why do you have a gun?

don’t panic.

just breathe.

you’re bleeding.

i’m trying to stop the bleeding.

you’ve been crying, i can tell.

you should have told me sooner.

i wanted to tell you in person.

a phone call would’ve been nice.

i hate you.

i love you.