sincerely-and-with-love

[sincerely-and-with-love]

Hello love,

Rant time!

I am SO sick of romance being a genre marketed to women but so obviously written to the benefit of men.

Like the VAST majority of love stories all revolve around a girl who is so in love with this guy who almost certainly takes it for granted and/or uses it to his advantage. And of course she's so in love with him that it doesn't matter how many times or how badly he hurts her emotionally or physically, because he "loves her" or she's "in love" and that somehow magically makes everything else irrelevant.

That's the story we read again and again and again and it's always done in a way that makes that seem like the ideal. As though that's what love is, just coming back again and again no matter how badly you get hurt and regardless of the quality of the apology (if you get an apology or even an acknowledgement at all). Especially when 9/10 the guy just makes some excuse throws in an "I'm sorry" and generally alludes to never doing it again (which he often doesn't follow through on). But that's the sign that it's "TRUE LOVE" the fact that it's hard and the fact that it's painful and the fact that they keep coming back to each other despite all of that.

Do you know what that really is a sign of? A seriously toxic if not totally abusive relationship.

And that's what we are raised on. What is put on a pedestal for us to admire and strive endlessly for.

We are taught ceaselessly that a relationship is all about how far a woman is willing to bend and break for a man and how little effort said man should be expected to put in. And of course if the woman can't keep bending and breaking for him, if she ever gets tired and stands up and says "enough is enough"? Well then it wasn't really love right? Or at least not TRUE love. Because if she "REALLY loved" him then none of that would matter. (Again placing the blame on her).

I'm so so sick of it. I'm sick of the way that society raises girls from the very beginning to normalize and idealize a life in which the best they should hope for is that a man will tell them that they love them and that any and every pain in getting there and staying there should be worth it. That their mental, emotional, and often even physical well-being should take second place to a toxic ideal.

It's disgusting and it's heartbreaking.

Sincerely and with Love,

Xx

[sincerely-and-with-love]

Hello love,

Here's to the start of something new

Sincerely and with Love,

Xx