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simplypatricek-blog · 7 years ago

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God’s Best For Me Starts Now! + revision

God’s best for me starts now!

March 2016

I recently attended a relationship series that allowed me to gain knowledge about the way we as women should carry ourselves and how to act in relationships as well as getting the men’s perspective on how they are and how they come in contact with women when dealing with them in a relationship.

With all of the knowledge and insight I’ve gained from the series along with other information from other sources I took the time out to listen to and read from, I did something that I’m surprised I never took the time out to do. I made a list of the qualities I look for in my future husband. I thought about how important it is for me to look on paper at the qualities I look for in a husband rather than think about it in my mind because the minute I try to decide on settling, I will have my qualities to look back on & will know what I will & will not tolerate. Even though these are the qualities that I look for, maybe these can help you or you can add them to your list if you already have some.

•Has a RELATIONSHIP with God. I capitalized relationship because a lot of men can say that they believe in him or attend church time to time, but having an actual relationship is a totally different matter. He can’t be afraid to lift his hands & worship, cry or praise God in front of other people. Real men worship!

•Has a job doing what he loves. If a man works somewhere that he doesn’t like and he has a bad day at work, chances are he will take it out on me. I would rather him have a bad day on a job that he loves because we can talk about it rather than him having a bad day on a job he hates because he will blow up at me & take it out on me.

•Doesn’t flirt with other women. If he likes to flirt a lot now, then he will flirt a lot, or maybe even more, in a relationship. I want my future husband to be a man who when I walk into a room, I’m all he sees. Not saying that he should ignore all the other women, but I want to be the one that causes him to light up when he sees me.

•Has his own mind. I don’t want a man that can’t think for himself or constantly needs the thoughts of other people to influence his decision about things. I need for my husband to know what he needs to do and be confident in knowing how to do it. Asking for assistance is one thing, but asking someone what to do, how to do it, “Am I doing it right?” is not acceptable.

•Has a great relationship with the females in his life (i.e. mom, sisters, grandmother, aunts, cousins, nieces). This is important because the way a man treats the females in his family is a reflection of how he will possibly treat you, especially the relationship with his mother. A man’s mother is one of the, if not the, closest person to him and that relationship will definitely be a reflection of the way he will treat his wife.

•Dress/Look Nice. No, he doesn’t have to be POLO down from head to toe, but he does have to look nice and takes pride in the way he looks. This lets me know that he takes the necessary steps in taking proper care of himself.

•Knows what he wants to do in life and has a vision. It is attractive, well to me it is, to know a man who knows what he wants to do in life. This is important because a husband is supposed to be a leader to his wife and you want a man that can lead you in the right direction and knows where he wants to go in life versus being led by a man who doesn’t even know what he plans to do tomorrow.

•Bringing humor to the relationship. Ok. I’m very comical. Those people who know me know I can cut up. Lol. But having someone who can bring humor to the relationship is important because not only is laughter good for the soul, it brings people together and it tightens the bond between them and brings light to situations or just allows the relationship to bring the “kid” out of the two of us.

•Doesn’t mind helping others. A man that loves to help others is another thing that gets my attention. It lets me know that at that moment, the situation or event that he involved himself in is bigger than him (meaning he is selfless) and understands the purpose behind it is also bigger than himself.

I’m pretty sure these aren’t all the qualities I look for but these are some of the most important. Something that I like to leave you all with is that no matter how much good you try to find in a person, if you don’t see the “God” in them, then there isn’t any need to look for the “good” in them.

UPDATE!!!

The above blog was written in March of 2016. It is now November 2017. Sooooo many things that I written about previously has changed and it has allowed me to think about other things that I needed to include. I never thought my viewpoints could change soooooooo much about this subject but it has!! I’m gonna post the points that I included in my previous blog and I’m gonna add in anything that has changed underneath it:

1) Has a RELATIONSHIP with God. I capitalized relationship because a lot of men can say that they believe in him or attend church time to time, but having an actual relationship is a totally different matter. He can’t be afraid to lift his hands & worship, cry or praise God in front of other people. Real men worship!

Also with having a relationship with God, it allows that man to hear from God and to submit to what God wants him to do. This means that God may or may not tell him who his wife is, but if and when he does, that man will not pursue that woman until he hears God give him the signal to do so. The man also has to love God with all his heart so that he will know how to love me. If a man doesn’t love God, there’s no possible way that he can love me the way he’s supposed to if he doesn’t know what real love is. God is love!

2) Has a job doing what he loves. If a man works somewhere that he doesn’t like and he has a bad day at work, chances are he will take it out on me. I would rather him have a bad day on a job that he loves because we can talk about it rather than him having a bad day on a job he hates because he will blow up at me & take it out on me.

Now with this, I realize that depending on the situation, God may not have him at the place that he wants to be at that moment, but even so with that, I should be able to hear about what his passion is, what makes him happy, etc. And I also know that that man will be cautious as to how he may respond when he has a bad day at work. He will be short with his words so that he won’t allow the wrong things to come out and then it will be at that point that I will know that he will talk about it later whenever he calms down. Men aren’t that vocal when they’re upset about something as opposed to women. We like to go on and on! Lol.

3) Doesn’t flirt with other women. If he likes to flirt a lot now, then he will flirt a lot, or maybe even more, in a relationship. I want my future husband to be a man who when I walk into a room, I’m all he sees. Not saying that he should ignore all the other women, but I want to be the one that causes him to light up when he sees me.

When I first wrote this, I was coming from a carnal state of mind and from a place of experiencing this from past relationships and thought that it may happen with my future husband. But what I realize now is that I shouldn’t have to worry about my future husband doing this because if he’s for me, I will be the only woman that he’ll be flirting with, even after we’re married!

4) Has his own mind. I don’t want a man that can’t think for himself or constantly needs the thoughts of other people to influence his decision about things. I need for my husband to know what he needs to do and be confident in knowing how to do it. Asking for assistance is one thing, but asking someone what to do, how to do it, “Am I doing it right?” is not acceptable.

I’ve come to understand now that a man is going to need wise counsel, people that he can go to for any wisdom or knowledge about a situation that he may can’t see for himself or about any correction that he may need. Even though he needs to have his own mind when it comes to thinking certain things through, it’s nice to have positive influences around him who will guide him into making the right decisions. With that being said, asking someone of WISE counsel (I added emphasis on wise because a lot people assume that just because someone gives them advice that it’s automatically considered wise. No!) about what to do, how to do it, “Am I doing it right?” IS acceptable!

5) Has a great relationship with the females in his life (i.e. mom, sisters, grandmother, aunts, cousins, nieces). This is important because the way a man treats the females in his family is a reflection of how he will possibly treat you, especially the relationship with his mother. A man’s mother is one of the, if not the, closest person to him and that relationship will definitely be a reflection of the way he will treat his wife.

This hasn’t changed because I still feel the same way about this because it’s true. The way a man treats the females in his family, especially his mom, is a reflection on the way he will treat you.

6) Dress/Look Nice. No, he doesn’t have to be POLO down from head to toe, but he does have to look nice and takes pride in the way he looks. This lets me know that he takes the necessary steps in taking proper care of himself.

This definitely holds the same weight now as it did then. I always take the time to make sure that I look decent and presentable so I feel as though he should do the same. A woman is a reflection of her husband so if she looks a certain way, he needs to have that same representation, if not more.

7) Knows what he wants to do in life and has a vision. It is attractive, well to me it is, to know a man who knows what he wants to do in life. This is important because a husband is supposed to be a leader to his wife and you want a man that can lead you in the right direction and knows where he wants to go in life versus being led by a man who doesn’t even know what he plans to do tomorrow.

If you don’t remember anything else you read on my blog, PLEASE know that it is important be with a man who has VISION, a PLAN, a BLUEPRINT, an IDEA, etc!!! This is important because for starters, whenever you get married, you have to submit to your husband, and with that, that means that you will have to submit to whatever vision that he has. A wife is supposed to be a help meet, meaning that she is supposed to be of HELP, aiding him in decision making, relaying to him what the Lord has said about people, things or situations, and also be able to help him with his vision. But if the husband isn’t doing anything or doesn’t have a vision, then how can the wife help him? This hurts both the woman and the man because being that the man doesn’t have a vision to birth, the woman can’t nurture and help invest in the vision. VISION IS IMPORTANT!!!

8) Bringing humor to the relationship. Ok. I’m very comical. Those people who know me know I can cut up. Lol. But having someone who can bring humor to the relationship is important because not only is laughter good for the soul, it brings people together and it tightens the bond between them and brings light to situations or just allows the relationship to bring the “kid” out of the two of us.

There’s nothing wrong with being goofy together! I feel like the more goofy y’all are, the better! That’s just me! And I know it’s cliché for women to say whenever they’re about to get married that they are marrying their best friend, but I totally agree with that and want to be able to say that about my future husband. He should be the one that I can tell everything to, be myself around, cry and vent to, be the first person who I tell when good news comes my way, etc. I want to marry my best friend! That sounds so awesome to say already! But being best friends with your future spouse before anything else is also an essential part of a relationship. Being friends first sets that foundation that you will build upon over time with everything else, but whenever trials and tribulations come your way, that bond of friendship will come into play and remind y’all of what you started with.

9) Doesn’t mind helping others. A man that loves to help others is another thing that gets my attention. It lets me know that at that moment, the situation or event that he involved himself in is bigger than him (meaning he is selfless) and understands the purpose behind it is also bigger than himself.

A man that puts others before himself says a lot about the type of person he is. It says that he has a heart for being a servant and doing what and all he can to help those around him.

Even before doing this blog in March 2016, there were certain things I wanted in a husband and if they didn’t have those qualities, he wasn’t the one! But the bible says in Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” A lot of people only see the part “…he will give you the desires of your heart” and they take that and twist it and apply it to whatever they desire in life thinking that that will allow everything that they want to come to pass. No. Just…no. The first part of that scripture says “Delight yourself in the Lord”, meaning that you have to be in his presence, know who he is, be overcome by his presence, be obedient to what He wants you to do, just all around loving God and actually allowing him to be Lord over your life. Now with that, we can now go into the second part of the scripture “…and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Now we already established that after we delight ourselves in the Lord, we have allowed Him to become Lord over our lives, and that means that over time, His ways will become our ways and His thoughts will become our thoughts. Over time, our hearts will love what He loves and with that, eventually, the things we used to like/love, we don’t like/love anymore because since we’ve delighted ourselves in the Lord, our mindset has changed which then in turn has caused our hearts to change, and THEN, that’s when God will give us the desires of our NEW heart! Glory!!

I am content with the woman I am today, but I know that God has called me to GREATER! I have so much in me that needs to be birthed. That’s gonna require work and guidance from God but I know that He will give me all the instructions that I need in the process. With that being said, even though I know my future husband is coming, I need to make sure that I’m at a good place before he comes along so that I can be able to operate in my best capacity as a help meet. I want be so full of understanding, knowledge, kingdom wisdom, clarity, etc! I gotta be what I want, meaning that I need to make sure I’m together before God sends a man that’s together but waiting for me to get it together.

If you’re a single woman waiting for your future husband, I hope that this was an insight to a list you may have already had or either a feel as to what you may be looking for if you haven’t made one already. I made a revision to what I wrote last year, but that’s not to say that God won’t change my mindset about some things again or give me some other things to look for in my future husband. Either way, knowing what to look for is important because it matters who you marry, especially when it comes to doing the work of God. Blessings to you all!

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simplypatricek-blog · 8 years ago

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Isolation is the best meditation!

One of the most frequently asked questions is “How can I hear from God?” Another question that is asked a lot is “Is God speaking to me and how often does He speak?” The answer to the latter question is yes, God is speaking to you and He speaks all the time. The question this time is how in tune are you with God to actually hear him, which answers the first question as to how can one be able to hear from God.

As we know or should know, one form of seeking and hearing God’s voice is through prayer. Having a strong prayer life is the most intimate way for God to speak to you. This is important to have because the more you pray, the more wisdom, knowledge and understanding He gives you and along with those, He will also bless you with the spirit of discernment. Discernment allows you to be able to identify the intent of the people who come into your life but it also allows you to be able to identify if the voice that you hear is from God, the enemy or if it’s just your own thoughts. Remember, God’s ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts.

Now there are a lot of young people who are babes in Christ and also older people who are babes in Christ and they want to know how they can hear from God. Sometimes, it’s going to require them having to isolate themselves from family, friends and other people who accumulate a lot of time in their lives. There are some people who every time you see them, they always have at least two people with them. They’re never by themselves or if you don’t see them with anyone, they’re talking on the phone with someone. These type of people never seem to have time for themselves. As a matter of fact, some of them don’t like to be by themselves at any given time. That’s why they put themselves in situations and environments that require them to be around people majority or all of the time.

On the other hand, there’s the other group of people who actually want some peace and quiet, who actually want just five minutes to themselves but just can’t get it. They may come close to it but then they may get a phone call from a friend who has got to tell you what all happened to them that day (which can be every other day) or you may get a call from that co-worker who always complains about all the other co-workers or you may get a call from a family member who just calls to ask you questions about what you’re doing and not how you’re doing.

That’s where isolation has no other choice but to come in. No wonder you can’t hear God! You can barely hear yourself think! I’ve had times where I will go off the grid and delete all of my social media accounts, times where people have asked me if I wanted to go places with them and I declined or times where I will lock myself up in my room away from my family so that I can close out as much or all the noise as I possibly can. When God speaks, He does not yell. He speaks in a calm manner but in order to hear it, you have to turn down the volume of the noise in your life. Your life is the radio and you have control of the knob. Turn it down!

Isolate so you can concentrate and meditate on God’s word and when you do this, His presence will be upon you and you’ll be able to hear His voice. You don’t have to isolate yourself from everyone forever, but when you notice that the noise level in your life starts to increase, you’ll know how to isolate yourself to decrease or cancel out the noise.

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simplypatricek-blog · 9 years ago

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What’s In It For Me?

We all know the golden rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (Matthew 7:12)”. Some people, when they do things, they do it out of the kindness of their heart. Other or most people will do it because they would want someone or the person they did it for to repay that same act of kindness back when the opportunity presents itself.

One thing that I’ve learned is that you can’t get to the point of only doing things for people because you want them to do the same for you. In fact, you have to do things for people for the exact opposite reason. You have to go in to doing things for people knowing that there is a slim to none chance of having that kind gesture or favor returned back to you. See, it’s easier to go into doing things for people when you know it’s a possibility that the favor won’t be returned because you won’t be looking for it. The frustration or anger that sets in comes from the mistake of assuming that “Oh well, since I’m doing this for him/her, I know that he’ll/she’ll do this for me” but then your bubble is popped when that same person has ample opportunities to bless you the same way you’ve blessed them but they don’t. That rule doesn’t look so golden anymore, huh?

Being honest, there have been times where I’ve wanted to stop doing things for people because of the unbalanced level of reciprocity between me and the individual in the situation. But time and time......and time again I HAVE to remind myself that it is not about me and that I have to remember what the Bible says. In Romans chapter 12, verses 17-21 it says:

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (NIV)

What can be gathered from this is that you can’t live by the motto “An eye for an eye” looking for revenge in some form or another to make things “even” when you’ve been betrayed. Instead you have to, as much as it may feel impossible to do depending on the level of hurt and/or the person who did it, you will have to pray to God and ask Him to give you a heart and spirit that is willing to forgive and let go and to help you overcome the situation and allow yourself to love on the individual(s). The part of the test where most people fail at is in verse 20, stating that if/when the opportunity presents itself, you would have to put your feelings aside and provide the necessary help that that person is needing at that moment. The reason that many people fail that part of the test is because instead of realizing that God will BLESS THEM for being a BLESS-ING, they become ignorant/self-righteous and miss out on a blessing all because they allowed themselves and their feelings to become bigger than the situation at hand. “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you” (Romans 12:3).

There are going to be those certain family members or friends that you would expect to be one of the first individuals to expect gifts from for a special occasion like a birthday, graduation, wedding, baby shower, etc due to all the things you’ve done for them or the love that they’ve pretended to have for you, but you have to know how to prepare yourself for the disappointment because everyone does not have the genuine heart that you may have but that doesn’t mean that you should stop being a blessing to people.

When you learn to do things God’s way, you won’t have to worry about what’s in it for you. God will bless you beyond measures, give you prosperity and shine favor upon you for doing His will when you make things more about Him and less about you.

#God Christian blessing blog Bible

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simplypatricek-blog · 9 years ago

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Changing Your Mindset

Change. A lot of people want to, but don’t go about actually doing what they need to do to change. Change. Something a lot of people don’t/won’t accept. Change. Something people can notice in others. Change.

There is something that we all want to change about ourselves. Some people may have more than one thing that they want to change about themselves, but in some form or another, we all have at least one thing we want to change about ourselves. Now, the physical things, depending on what it is, we can do the necessary steps, i.e. surgery, makeup, exercise, etc to bring about that change. (I mean, you should be happy with the way God made you in the first place but yeah) But when it comes to the internal things that you have to deal with that no one, some people or everyone can see that you’re battling with, i.e. jealousy, impatience, self-pity, singleness, etc. this is where the changing of the mindset comes into play.

Here’s a topic that a lot of people can relate to. Singleness. *raises hand*. Lol. I’m not ashamed, tho. It is what it is. But seriously. A lot of people can relate to it and a lot of people feel the same way about it. With me, for example, I’m not gonna lie, there are days when I’m good and feelin like Mary J. Blige “Just Fine”, but others days I can feel like I’m at the end of the line when it comes to being blessed with a relationship. I say that to say this. A lot of people go about singleness in the wrong way. They play slow jams all night, look at movies like “Love & Basketball” over and over again, fill their heads up with society’s depictions of “Relationship Goals” or looking at other people’s relationships saying “They ain’t goin last”. What people have to realize is that they HAVE.TO.CHANGE.THEIR.MINDSETS.. Of course you’re gonna be in your feelings if you playin love songs all night, especially the ones that remind you of your ex, who probably still callin you every now and then gettin in your head then stops calling and you get mad and say “He get on my nerves! Ima stop answering the phone when he call!” Girl, bye. Soon as he call, you lookin at the phone with your face frowned up then you finally answer the phone and be like “Oh you know how to call somebody, now?” Man, look. I’ve been there. That’s why I can go in so much about this. Lol.

But back to the issue at hand. Being single is not easy, but the way you go about it makes all the difference. In order to change your mindset about singleness, you have to make up in your mind and say “Ok. I’m not gonna play these songs anymore because it makes me feel a certain type of way. I’m not gonna look at these movies anymore because it makes me feel a certain type of way.” What I had to learn is that watching certain types of movies and listening to certain types of songs plants seeds in your heart. For example, if one of your favorite songs is “My First Love” by Avant and KeKe Wyatt because it reminds you of your ex and puts you in your feelings every time, then one of the seeds you can plant is letting someone constantly have the power over you when they’re not even in your life anymore. Every time you listen to that song, you’re watering that seed every time and before you know it, you’re calling or texting your ex to “check on him” or “see how he’s doing”. You need to change your mindset.....and that song.

I will use myself for this example. I like Facebook and Snapchat......at times. But lately I’ve had urges to delete all my social media apps. Thing is, I’ve done it before. But I always find myself downloading them back to my phone. But this time, I’ve felt the need to delete my Snapchat app, for like the 12th time. In all honesty, everyone on Snapchat looks the same, meaning they listen to the same songs, talk the same, act the same, like everybody looks like each other! Not to shine any light on myself but I can honestly say that no one (outside of me acting silly at times) doesn’t do what I do, say what I say, think the way I think, and this made me realize that I’m definitely set apart from these particular set of people. That’s where the changing of the mindset comes in. I have to get rid of what’s holding me back from getting closer to God and hearing what He has to say to me or wants me to do but I can’t possibly accomplish that when my head is cluttered from the foolishness I see on social media or from my mind being distracted from wanting to check my notifications on FB or seeing who all watched my snaps. Man, look. I learned a long time ago. People are only on your side when you’re making them laugh or saying stuff they are interested in. Other than that, if you’re not pleasing them, they throw you to the side.

You have to understand. Changing your mindset is a daily process. You have to stay on top of it because it’s so easy to allow yourself to be exposed to negative thoughts/people and cause seeds to be planted. Your mindset is the most important because in order for things to get into your heart, it first has to process & go through your mind. With that being said, my question to you is, are you willing to change your mindset today?

#change blog daily christian God

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simplypatricek-blog · 9 years ago

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When God sets you APART when you become A PART of Him

Most people familiarize themselves around people or things they’ve grown up around/with and accustomed themselves to. When someone is family-oriented, they spend a great deal of time around their family (it’s a win-win situation in most cases with those who come from a big family) and allows that person to become used to saying and doing certain things that’s the “norm” for them when around those family members. In other cases, if someone didn’t have the luxury of growing up with a big family, they had the luxury of having friends. Some people may have grown up with one or two friends all of their lives while some people have always been friends with different people because they make them so easily.

After so much time of surrounding yourself around certain people, you start to act alike in some ways and do/say certain things the same way your family members or friends would. When you do/say things around them, you have no convictions about it because that’s what you’re used to doing. Everyone seems to be on the same page when it comes to it because you are surrounded by people who have the same agenda as you do. When it comes to going to the club, everyone is on the same page. When it comes to using foul language when engaging in conversations, everyone is on the same page. When it comes to gossiping, everyone is on the same page. When it comes to drinking, everyone is on the same page........but what happens when you begin to turn to the next page?

Along with being used to being around certain people, things & situations, you may say “This is getting old.” and you begin to mature and grow up and realize that there has got to be more than this. And with that, you also realize that you’re gonna need God to guide you and lead you to the happiness and dreams and wants that you desire.....but that means that something has to give. You look at one hand and see the family and friends you always have “fun” with going out clubbing and partying on the weekends, but see no desire for change in any of them....then on the other hand you see yourself having to sacrifice the life you’re used to living and have to get used to either being in church or at home majority of the time missing out on the “fun” but know that with seeking God comes wisdom, knowledge & understanding?

See, it’s one thing to say that you wanna live for God, but when you have to not only stand by what you believe in, but you have to stand by what you believe in around those same family and friends you grew up with most of your life is what makes it more difficult to do. You try your best to “fit in” but still try to minister to people at the same time still wanting them to like you but that shouldn’t be what it should come to. You can’t be lukewarm in your faith. You have to be either “hot” (having a strong relationship with God) or “cold”(not having a relationship with God at all).

There are times when you won’t have to tell people that you’ve given your life to the Lord and allowed Him to step in and take control of your life. Sometimes your presence speaks for you and that by itself can cause some unsettling spirits among those around you. I can honestly say that I’ve been in situations with family and friends that caused me to feel “out of place” or “isolated” from everyone else. I’ve been in situations where there were people talking in groups to each other and I would be standing or sitting somewhere by myself. But surprisingly, it didn’t bother me. Why? Because you have to know that when things like this happen, it’s only because God has set you apart from them because the things you have going on in your life and for your life doesn’t match up with theirs because their hearts and spirits aren’t in the right place.

When God sets you apart from everyone else, be prepared for criticism and judgment. There ARE GOING TO BE people that will say “You changed” or “She thinks she holier than thou” or “She don’t be with us anymore”, etc. People get offended when you start to distance yourself from them thinking that it’s something they’ve done to you. Most of the time, it’s not something that that person has done, it’s just that one person decided that they want more out of life and is willing to sacrifice what they’re familiar with to live a life that they will continually have to seek God about to figure out the rest.

Being set apart when you’re living for God comes with all sorts of different negative views of you from the world and people you used to relate to, but when you know that you have to pay the price of what you believe in, you have no other choice but to accept it and get stronger in your faith so that the criticism will not affect you. Earlier I said that when you are around someone for a long time you start to act/talk like the person you spend the most time with. That’s exactly how it’s going to be when you spend more and more time with God. You will become more humble, speak in a loving manner, will take the time to minister to someone who is in need, will have the holy spirit convict you when you do/say something wrong, etc. All these things will eventually happen when you spend time with Him, keep a solid prayer life and remain on the path that will lead you to prosperity. God sets you APART so that you can be A PART of something bigger!

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