silverapricots

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Random comment on pasta recipe with more emotional impact than the 1000's of novel length intro to recipies

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Bob Ross & Hoot on The Joy of Painting: ‘Mountain Mirage Wood Shape’ S15, E4 (1988)

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Hello Kitty Digital D202K phone (1999) ･ﾟﾟ･｡☆

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at the same time, i find myself obsessed. turning the pain over and over in my head trying to make sense of it, trying to find some lesson that suits me enough to move forward. and it’s painful, alright - aching inside my ribs, my legs, tying where i want to walk to inside a pretty little bow. and it’s a delicate, gorgeous thing, untouched terror like that… on display to be felt everywhere. entirely and completely. to feel everything so intensely that you become the very presentation of it. and now you’re fragile and begging to be pried open and into, to be put together and loved. to be new and shiny, what has been always wanted, not second hand. yet still about to shatter at any moment. cursed in the hands of what you desire most.

obsession//curse.

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i think about this song a lot lately. i think about a lot of things lately that i haven’t in a long time, haven’t ever even considered before. i think about what envy means, followed by hope, followed by grief. i think about how some people get things they never wanted and how others spend their whole lives searching for that very thing. i think about intentions, and how they never exactly land the same way in someone else than when it took off from you. i think about the turbulence of existence and how seasick it makes me thousands of feet above the ground. just, floating… trying to not to pay attention to the waves, the wind; just trying to ride them out. it’s hard to control a surfer via the puppeteers strings but here we are. pulling them from a jet plane. pulling the threads and making messes from them. just like we’re supposed to, hmm? this life is unraveling for everyone around you and nobody will wait for you to think of the mess less. just gotta keep up somehow, someway. but i’m no puppeteer, nor pilot, nor can i surf….

[silverapricots]

i find that i am searching for something larger than life, and this life of mine is pretty confining…

[silverapricots]

Grace Jones ph. Jean-Paul Goude

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