silverapricots

[silverapricots]

Animal Crossing: City Folk (Nintendo Wii, 2008)

[silverapricots]

what do you want for christmas?

let’s see, uh…

- for that blood to be a baby and grow like a ripe tree up and out my esophagus

- to complain about grandpas whiskers on my cheek still red and raw

- and to hold a bow full of rosin in my chubby fingers for the first time again

- one carton of eggs and a pint of milk

- my favorite pair of sweatpants from high school

- creaky floorboards in a home that has seen more love and life than i’ll ever get to witness

- a purpose that drives me mad

[silverapricots]

[silverapricots]

Laura Les Ombres De L’ete

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Handpainted Jackets from Yohji Yamamoto’s Autumn/Winter 1991-92 Collection

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Yoshitaki Kawajiri: Wicked City (1987)

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"makeover madness" by steven meisel for vogue italia july 2005

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José Guadalupe Posada

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i feel like i am too much for people who are too busy and often, that makes me want to hide away even more

[silverapricots]

i know it doesn’t mean much of anything to anyone except me but

i would quite appreciate some flowers or a card or teddy bear

or maybe just someone actually calling me on the phone to ask how i’m doing

i feel like my pain makes everyone so uncomfortable, but i’d do it for them. yanno?

i guess sometimes i wish there was a separate me for me. i want the care package that i’ve curated for others. i want the bouquet that i’ve crafted for others. i want the postcard that i’ve written for others. i want the planned day of distractions i’ve scheduled for others. i want the brownies i’ve cooked for others.

i know i can do all these things for myself too. but i am so tired. i guess i just want to feel special and seen in some way that i just can’t provide on my own.

they say treat others the way you want to be treated but i love and i love and i love and…. i always feel forgotten

[silverapricots]

i NeEd ThErApY bUt ItS tOo ExPeNsIvE ! ¡ !