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silentcrossed · 5 years ago

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All That Matters

Warnings: internalized homophobia due to a shit father

Fandom: Stranger Things

Summary: set a few days before the start of season 3 - Will comes out to Mike completely on accident because he just can’t deal with all his emotions by himself anymore.

Pairing: N/A

Characters: Will Byers, Holly Wheeler, Mike Wheeler - mentions: Lucas Sinclair, Nancy Wheeler, Ted Wheeler, Lonnie Byers

Word Count: 1243

editor: @waitingnightmare gif credit: @pendinganchor

It was 2am when it happened. Will couldn’t sleep again because of all the thoughts running through his head. There were many things keeping him up that night, but one thing in particular was bugging him more than usual. He lied with his eyes fixed on the ceiling, trying to calm himself down for a good half an hour, but it wasn’t working. Finally, he decided to go get some fresh air.

He knew very well how to get out of the Wheeler’s basement and backdoor without being heard. He had a lot of practice. Ever since everything that happened with the Upside Down, he’d been doing it a lot. He stood up and carefully maneuvered through his friends who were all fast asleep. He stumbled a little because Lucas rolled right as he went to put his foot down. He whispered an involuntary “shit” as he steadied himself.

He looked back at everyone, but none of them seemed to have woken up. Will made his way silently up the stairs and into the kitchen when he collided with a small figure. He recognized the yelp as Holly. He steadied the both of them then kneeled down. “What are you doing up?”

“Will?” she asked, still shook up from being slammed into.

“Yeah, it’s me. You okay?”

“I was thirsty and my night cup was empty.”

“Do you need help?” Instead of answering with words, Holly held out her cup. Will happily took it, putting away his own thoughts and feelings long enough to get Holly some water and help her back to bed.

“Thanks, Will,” she said as he tucked her back into bed and lightly kissed her forehead. Ever since Holly was born, she was his favorite Wheeler. Nancy was turning “mean” and Mike, well that was more Will’s fault. Think of something else.

“No problem, Holly.” With that he left her room and headed back down to the kitchen.

When Will finally made it outside, he took in the cold air with a shiver. He had been colder before. He blinked rapidly trying to think about anything else. He sat down in the grass, again struggling to calm himself down. He noticed quickly that it was becoming harder for him to calm himself down, which was obviously a problem. But he didn’t know what to do to fix it.

He was lying flat on the ground with his limbs spread out, thinking about the D&D campaign he was working on, when he heard the Wheeler’s backdoor open and a soft “Will?” follow the sound.

Will sat up, looking at the door. “Mike?” he asked, even though he knew it was him. “What are you doing?”

Mike shut the door then walked over to Will, crossing his arms.“I could ask you the same thing. It’s fucking freezing out here!” Mike was in a tank top and shorts, the same as Will. But he wasn’t used to the cold like Will was. Again with that?

“Sorry.” Will apologized, as if he had anything to do with the weather.

Mike rolled his eyes then repeated his concern while he sat down on the ground next to Will. “What are you doing out here? I heard you leaving and thought you just went to use the bathroom. But it’d been twenty minutes and you didn’t come back.”

“I heard Holly in the kitchen and went up to help her,” he lied.

Mike eyed Will, not believing the lie but leaving it. “So, how did you end up outside?”

Will shrugged, not wanting to talk about it. Well, not wanting to talk about it with Mike specifically. “Thought I could use some air, I guess.” Will hugged his knees to his chest and rested his head on them, looking away from Mike. “Couldn’t sleep.”

Will could feel Mike staring at him and he tensed at the worry in his voice. “Is there any particular reason for why that is?”

He shrugged. Still not wanting to talk to Mike about it. Why couldn’t it have been one of the others to wake up. Hell, he would have preferred Nancy, or even Ted. But no, it had to be Mike.

“Hey, you can talk to me, remember. No matter what.”

“You can’t help with this so there’s no point in talking about it.” Will closed his eyes, silently hoping Mike would drop it.

But Mike was stubborn. “Does it have to do with the Up-”

“No. For once it’s a ‘typical’ teenage problem. One I can handle on my own.”

The disgust in the way Will said ‘typical’ almost scared Mike. But he pressed anyway. “You obviously can’t if it’s keeping you up. Talk to me, maybe I can help.”

“Just leave it Mike.” Will listened as Mike got up and walked back inside. Will scoffed, he hadn’t expected Mike to just get up and walk away that easily.

It was years ago, but Will could still remember the worlds his dad had said to him like it was just yesterday. He never understood why they stayed with him so insistently until recently. He hadn’t even noticed he was distracting himself until it was calm after everything that happened. After his mom stopped keeping such a close eye on him. When he was finally able to be alone with his thoughts.

But maybe he had already known before that, and he just repressed it. But that point was that it came to the light and Will wasn’t sure how to push it back in. He just knew he wanted to. His dad’s words just kept repeating in his head.

“Our son’s a goddamn queer!” He was so angry at Will. And all Will wanted was to please his dad. He loved and adored him but all he got in return was a whole lot of nothing. All because his dad thought he was queer… all because his dad knew before even he did…

Will was yanked out of his thoughts at the feeling of a blanket being draped over his shoulders. He filled his fists with the blanket and aggressively pulled it tighter around him. Hoping the blanket would keep him together.

It didn’t.

And suddenly he was crying and spilling his guts to Mike who had huddled next to Will with a blanket of his own. He told Mike about how he hated himself for disappointing his dad. About how he used to pray, even though he didn’t really believe in prayer, that he wouldn’t turn out to be like that. A disgusting monster. About how he would give literally anything to like girls and to be able to fall in love with a girl. He didn’t want to be like this.

“Hey, hey, relax.” Mike wasn’t exactly sure what to say to his friend, but he knew he needed to say something. “No offense, but your dad is a piece of shit. His opinion doesn’t matter because he’s not fucking here, okay? You’re not a monster and you’re not disgusting. You listening to me, Will?”

“But, Mike-”

“No, you’re Will. That’s all that matters. So what you don’t like girls?”

“I like boys, Mike. It’s disgusting.”

“That’s your father talking. What would your mom say? She’s the one that matters.”

“I don’t know.”

“Well maybe you should find out. And if she’s a dick about it too, you can come live in my basement. We know from experience that my parents wouldn’t notice.”

#stranger things #will byers #holly wheeler #mike wheeler #stranger things drabble #will byers coming out

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