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[sickeninglove]

[sickeninglove]

“there are plenty of fish in the sea” = there are more people out there who you could get with

“sleeping with someone” = having sex with them

“sleeping with the fishes” = got murdered

my proposal: “there are plenty of other fish to sleep with” = next person you fuck will kill you

[sickeninglove]

Me vs the porn bots constantly in my notifications

[sickeninglove]

Me, Catholic, walking into a Protestant church with no depictions of Mary: where’s my mom

[sickeninglove]

My current plan to recover from my mental and emotional existence is to just go so deep into being insane that I'll come out sane on the other side. Being a chronic people pleaser plagued with impostor syndrome stretched me too thin, and that leash simply snapped and I am now a completely untethered, unapologetic vermin.

Fuck having impostor syndrome, if I'm not entitled to be here they should've barred the doors better. If I'm doing everything wrong because of imaginary rules that nobody told me about, that's their problem, you should have made your confusing system more idiot-proof.

I'm not here to please everyone and do everything right. I'm here to make bad art, chew on furniture, make people laugh, cook awful food and look at pretty landscapes, and piss off the people who don't want me to exist. If I have an unseen infinite debt somewhere that I can never pay back, I'm going to keep running that tab until I die. I'm alive purely because the universe is shit at pest control.

[sickeninglove]

PREPPING YOUR NOVEL.

if you want to start your novel but you’re not sure where to start, i’ve collected a bunch of resources to help you along! this includes characterization, plotting, worldbuilding, etc. @made-of-sunlight-moonlight

CHARACTERS.

name generator: this one is pretty handy. it has a bunch of different generators based on language, gods, fantasy, medieval, archetypes, etc.

➥ reedsy name generator

personality types: this is just the standard mbti personality list. it lists the strengths and weaknesses of each type, as well as how they do in relationships, etc.

➥ mbti 16 personalities

enneagram: the enneagram personality types. this may help with characterization because it has “levels of development.” it also lists common fears, desires, and how each type interacts with one another.

➥ enneagram types

emotional wound: your character should have something they believe about themselves that isn’t true. (ex: i’m worthless, i’m powerless.) this should start with an “origin” scene from their past, where something happens to create the wound. then there are three “crossroads” scenes to brainstorm, where things could have gone right for your character, but didn’t due to the wound, and because of that strengthened their belief in the wound. this helps you figure out why your character acts like they do. this is a really important one!!!

➥ emotional wound explained

WORLDBUILDING.

worldbuilding template: this is a pretty good template / guide about how to build your world. it talks about geography, people, civilizations, magic, technology, economy, and politics. (you have to download this through email though.)

➥ reedsy worldbuilding template

world anvil: if you really really want to go in-depth — this website is for you. there is so much you can do with this; i can’t list it all. history, timelines, important objects, cities, species — you name it, it’s probably on there.

➥ world anvil website

worldbuilding bible: this is just a general list on things to think about when worldbuilding.

➥ ellen brock’s worldbuilding bible

world creator: this website generates an entire planet. you can play around with the amount of land, as well as climate, although i’m not sure since i haven’t used it too much. here is the link if needed, though!

➥ donjin fractal world generator

inkarnate: this is a really commonly used one. it’s free and makes good quality maps. you can lay out cities, landmarks, regions, and they even have little dragon drawings you can put on your map.

➥ inkarnate website

a tip: don’t over-worldbuild! you’ll end up spending a lot of time on things you won’t need. focus mainly on the things that you will use!

PLOT.

plot generator: this one’s kind of nice because you can lock elements of the plot that you like. that way you can get rid of the ones you don’t like while keeping the ones you do.

➥ reedsy plot generator

writing exercises: this one has a couple different generators, including one that gives you a situation, characters, and themes.

➥ writing exercises

plot cheat sheet: this lists a whole bunch of plotting methods and their basic steps. i would play around with them and see which one works best for your method.

➥ plot cheat sheet by ea deverell

plot formula: this is mentioned on the cheat sheet, but it lists a bunch of beats and scenes which you might want to consider for those beats. kind of fill-in-the-blank-ish sort of thing?

➥ plot formula by ea deverell

save the cat: a method of plotting also on the plot cheat sheet above, but i wanted to point it out. i have been using this recently by taking a giant piece of paper, laying it out onto the floor, and making a timeline. pivotal scenes go on the right (ex: catalyst), while the bulk of scenes go on the left (ex: fun and games). i didn’t really have a website on this, but here is one that explains the beats. (i might make a post about this later, though?)

➥ save the cat explained

ETC.

story planner: this basically has a lot of templates that cover everything up there. the problem is that you get a free trial for a little while where you get as many documents as you want, then you have to pay for it. (although you can get around this by copying and pasting into a doc...?)

➥ story planner website

describing / related words: these kind of go hand in hand. if you put a word intothese websites, they will give you either a list of related words or adjectives respectively.

➥ describing words website

➥ related words website

ea deverell: i've pulled a lot of stuff from this website to put in this post, but there's a lot more that can be used. Like a lot on basically anything — plot, character, world, outlining, writing itself.

➥ ea deverell website

reedsy: again, i've pulled a lot of stuff from them to put in this post, but there's much more. it's similar to the ea deverell one.

➥ reedsy website

canva: this is more for making aesthetics and covers. (this thing is really helpful —and free!) although if you use this, i'd suggest pulling pictures off a website like unsplash; that way the pictures are free to use.

➥ canva website

i hope you found this helpful!! :) happy writing!!

[sickeninglove]

Visible Mending

Introduction:

Visible mending is a decorative way to fix up an item. Instead of trying to make your mend as invisible as possible, the idea is to make it part of the garment's design.

Visual mending is not a single technique: it's more of a mindset. If you've got an item you love, it deserves to be mended, and if you're going to put that love into stitches, why not show them off?

That being said, there are some specific techniques that are popular with visible menders. Let's take a look!

Sashiko:

Sashiko is a type of traditional Japanese embroidery that is used to both decorate and reinforce fabric. In visible mending, sashiko is often used to cover up holes with patches or to reinforce thinning fabric. This technique uses a variation on the running stitch.

(Image source)

Some resources on sashiko:

SashiCo on YouTube: sashiko livestreams and information on the cultural aspect of sashiko.

Written tutorial by Upcycle Stitches.

Free sashiko templates by TheSpruceCrafts.

Fixing jeans with sashiko by Soluna Collective.

(Image source)

(Image source)

Embroidery:

Regular embroidery is also a popular technique to accentuate your mends. Check out my embroidery 101 post to learn how to get started. You can embroider patches, or use embroidery to hide or accentuate any stitches you've made to fix holes. Embroidery's also a great way to cover up stains.

(Image source)

(Image source)

Patches:

There are many ways to add patches to a garment. My tutorial on patches is a good place to start if you want to make custom-shaped patches to sew on top of your fabric. You can also sew your patch on the inside of your garment and have it peek out from beneath the hole you're trying to fix. Fun ideas for this are lace or superheroes.

(Image source)

(Source)

Darning:

Darning is a technique used to repair holes in fabric by using running stitches to weave extra fabric over the hole as to fill it up again. While traditionally darning is done in an invisible way by using the same colour of thread as your fabric, you can also use contrasting colours to accentuate your fix. Check out this written tutorial on darning by TheSpruceCrafts.

(Image source)

(Image source)

Conclusion:

Visible mending is a creative way to fix up your clothes and give them some personality at the same time.

You should be proud of the fact that you took the time and learned the necessary skills needed to mend your clothes! Show off what you did!

A fun side effect of wearing these obvious mends is that people will notice them. They'll remember your fixes the next time they're faced with a hole in their wardrobe, and it will make them more likely to try it for themselves.

These are just a few ways to visibly mend your garments. Want more inspiration? Check out Pinterest or r/Visiblemending on Reddit.

[sickeninglove]

is it possible that jesus, knowing judas would betray him, kissed him back? is it possible this meant ‘goodbye?’

the last days of judas iscariot, stephen adly guirgis / ary scheffer / klimt / judas, k. wright / graham dean / jesus christ superstar / kill, kill, lana del rey / judas, lady gaga / caravaggio / james dean, natalie wood, and sal mineo for rebel without a cause / hannibal / john 13:27 / diego velázquez / pietro lorenzetti / sid & nancy (1986)

[sickeninglove]

It’s hard to keep my mind on the body on top of me, on my own pleasure, the hand on my throat, my chest, my dick, his dick. Should my mind be on my pleasure or on pleasuring the person I’m with? Is there a morality to sex, or are all ethics off the table once I’m lying flat on the bed, just as long as no one is getting hurt? Should I be close to my everyday personality, should I laugh and talk? Should there be breaks? Or should talking be kept to a minimum—how else would I shake off the straitjacket (no pun intended) of self if I weren’t leaving language behind? How could language in such a situation be anything but porn language, secondhand, trite, shopworn, embarrassing if I saw a video of myself, and someone were sitting there in the room to watch it with me?

And if all that weren’t enough, when I’m in it, even if I might be enjoying it, I might be thinking, When will this be over? I’m not sure if I like how this feels. Am I hurt? How long do I put up with that motion before I decide it feels like—like—surgery? Should I say stop? If I say stop, am I changing the course of our time together? Will my stop make you—me—self-conscious, too concerned about how we’re feeling rather than our pleasure, as if the two were radically separate categories? Do you have to involve your teeth like that? Is it OK to let a tear roll down my face? And yet—sex that is too comfortable, sex that doesn’t change—well, what could be more boring? Sex that is concerned only with getting you off, sex in 4/4 time, all plunging and stabbing with no variations of time signature. No wonder women (and some men) pretend they’ve come just so they can get the whole procedure over with. Why would anyone ever stay in sex—risk the disappointment of it—if not for the dream of falling into a new net, being cradled by it, taken to a place to which neither of us expected to go? Carried in space, caught just above the current of the abyss.

— Paul Lisicky, from Later: My Life at the Edge of the World

[sickeninglove]

15 years old, no blood on your hands, you believe love has no casualties, that daisy petals can provide answers about a heart’s intentions.

3 years later, you can’t clean the blood from your fingers, you’ve stopped asking flowers if he loves you, you know he doesn’t.

19 years old, no blood on your hands just burns, from trying to love the sun, but you no longer need the warmth; you love yourself and it’s finally enough.

he loves me, he loves me not //O.L.

[sickeninglove]

Insomnia

Shadows haunt my senses into space I can’t obtain The darkness cripples me with blinding images I can’t contain This was when chaos dared and sanity falters From where I lay, no sense, no reason… nothing else matters

Doomed in this lonely world without someone to hold I eased my pain, held my pillow tight, reminisced stories untold Forbidden passions, chained illusions seem to propagate Love’s ecstasy, unfound bliss, in dreams I drown and meditate

I felt the cold night as I shiver at the touch of the gentle breeze It was a deafening silence; still, I heard the sound of his final kiss Reasons became illusions, my heart gave heat, melted its coat of ice My eyes began to shed tears from his lies and goodbyes

The pain was so real, so moving, so nauseating Loneliness, depression, disillusionment, all in my heart start clinging Continually tormenting, possessively overtaking me Until I fell asleep, and breathe out the last of my eternity

chaspalette - 18Jul10

[sickeninglove]

poem in which the vulture flees, by silas denver melvin

[sickeninglove]

I never speak a sentence without saying actually, genuinely, seriously, or literally because I need everyone to know how sincere I am about the bullshit that comes out of my mouth

[sickeninglove]

Often I desire to scream in his face, cry in his arms, get drunk on his fatal essence, beg and shout and weep; tell him I've filled pages writing for him, about him, of him. Every word that falls from my pen onto a paper manifests love.

But then, let him stay oblivious, no one should be burdened with the passion of an insane artist.

[sickeninglove]

hobbies masterpost!

a really excellent way to reduce anxiety is to pick up a new hobby. find something you’re interested in, learn it, then use it as a healthy and productive way to cope.

learn to play guitar

learn how to make interactive stories with the free program Twine

learn how to make pixel art

learn another language

learn how to build a ship in a bottle

learn how to develop your own film

learn how to embroider

learn how to make chiptunes (8-bit music)

learn how to make origami (the art of paper folding)

learn how to make tumblr themes

learn how to make jewelry 

learn how to make candy

learn how to make terrariums

learn how to make your own perfume

learn how to make your own tea

learn how to build birdhouses

learn how to read tarot cards

learn how to make zines

learn how to code

learn how to whittle (wood carving)

learn how to make candles

learn how to make clay figurines

learn how to knit scarves

learn how to become an amateur astronomer

learn some yoyo tricks

learn how to start a collection

learn how to start body building

learn how to edit wikipedia articles

learn how to decorate iphone cases

learn how to do freelance writing

learn how to make your own cards and

learn how to make your own envelopes

learn how to play the ukulele 

learn how to make gifs

learn how to play chess

learn how to juggle

learn how to guerrilla garden

learn how to chart your family history

learn how to keep chickens

learn how to do yoga

learn how to do magic tricks

learn how to raise and breed butterflies

learn how to play dungeons & dragons

learn how to skateboard

learn how to do parkour

learn how to surf

learn how to arrange flowers

learn how to make stuffed animals

[sickeninglove]

How to deal with street cats

Be nice to them. They’re doing an important job. Do not chase them, grab them or harass them. 

Always bring some food with you, it’s just polite. 

Approach them slowly, and let them come to you. Sometimes you might have to sit on the ground and tap it a few times. This is what you brought food for. 

At some point after you have managed to touch the cat it will turn and sprint away. This is when you start following it.

Cats do not want you to get lost, but they can be fast. Never lose sight of them, you should stay with it until your return. This might still look like your usual street but you are in a liminal space already. Try not to get lost. 

(NOTE: do not follow cats with mismatched eyes. You can pet them, but the moment they run away you should immediately turn your back to them and walk in the opposite direction.)

Black cats:

Follow black cats into the floor-level vents. Don’t worry, there are many spider webs but there aren’t any spiders.

Do not lose sight of them in the dark.

When you emerge, you will be in the same street you were before, but there will be no people to be found.

Do not stray, follow your cat. Sometimes it might want to just catch a bird and go back. Do not stay longer just to explore.

 If you hear the sound of a crowd in the distance do not try to follow it. Your cat will never lead you there.

You can take anything with you but you cannot take pictures or record video or sound.

Orange cats:

Orange cats hang around train stations for a reason. Follow them into the next train. You will not need a ticket.

If the cat wants you to scratch its ears during the trip, do it.

The landscape will not look like the area around your town.  Do not panic - this is normal.

The people in the train will not speak a language you understand or recognize, but they will have clothes and devices similar to yours. They are usually nice.

Get down at the same stop as your cat. You will not understand the name of the station, and no one will get off in the same station as yours. You should follow your cat, but it will never leave the station. Follow it into the next train to get back home.

Never stay in the train. Never wait for the last stop.

White cats:

White cats live on the edges. They will take you to many places but at the same time they will never take you anywhere.

If you meet them during the night-time, the sun will start rising, regardless of the time. If you meet them during the daytime, the sun will start setting. It will stay like this for the duration of the trip.

Follow them to the edge of a forest that smells like honeysuckle. You will hear the song of birds and the flow of water. You should never stray and enter the forest on your own. Your cat will not follow.

Follow them to a building where a fancy party is being held at. Through the windows you can see the food and the champagne. The guests will ask you to join them, but your cat will keep walking. Do not accept the invitation, and never eat the food or drink the champagne.

Follow them along the edge of a swimming pool. People will be bathing, playing and laughing. It will be hot, regardless of the season. Do not step too close to the edge, because they will try to grab your ankles and pull you into the water. Keep walking.

Once the sun finally sets or rises you will be back home. Never enter your house until you are completely sure the sky is changing.

Calico cats:

Calico cats are the safest. They will follow you instead.

Walk around your town and you will see everything is the same, but you will not be able to make the connections between the streets.

If you want to go to a certain place you will find it is no longer where it used to be.

You will not recognize anyone. Every single person in the street will be a stranger. They are not dangerous but do not look them directly in the eyes.

Never try to find your house. Because you will find it.

When you want to come back take the cat back where you found it. This might be more difficult than you expect.

Remember to always take some food with you, something made of iron, and comfortable shoes.

And remember to always be nice to the cats!

[russian translation by @rachell-redacted]

[if you like my writing consider buying me a coffee? your girl works night shifts ;u;]  @senshi76 gave me the suggestion for this one!

[sickeninglove]

“Those poor boys”

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”