shoujolovedoctor

[shoujolovedoctor]

I've fallen really hard for a friend... But I'm not sure if I should tell him. He's said before he doesn't want a relationship in high school--he's graduating in June, I'm not--but that was a while ago. He's really nice and we really enjoy each others' company. And we've hung out a lot and gone to see a movie, just the two of us. I really want to be with him, and a few of my friends (some closer to him than others) say I should go for it, even some say they think he likes me too... What do I do?

To my dear anonymous patient,

In this situation I would suggest you do go for it. in my life I have seen many a relationship work even over long distance. For example one of my friends has been in a long term relationship for years, and they started going out in high school! Sure they were the same age, but at the same time it's not that impossible for you.

But also take into consideration that there is a reason as to why, he may not want to have a relationship in high school. So sitting down and talking with him just about pursuing a relationship with each other would be the best. It will be awkward, and it will be tough to get through, but in the end whether or not a relationship comes out of it you'll be happy to know that you tried.

[shoujolovedoctor]

[shoujolovedoctor]

Friendship is not background noise to your love life!!!! Friends are not secondary characters in your romance plot!!!!

Fall in love with your friends! Treat them well! Treasure your friendships!

[shoujolovedoctor]

***crush fairy strikes again***

[shoujolovedoctor]

Ready to help anyone in romantic need.

It's that time of year where some people need help with their love lives. So don't hesitate on coming to ask me about what to do on Valentine's Day And if you don't need any help just reblog this for any of your followers who may need it.

And I won't judge anyone on any of their circumstances all I care about it that you want to talk about your love problems, it's what I made this blog for.

[shoujolovedoctor]

Ready to help anyone in romantic need.

Just to remind everyone that I’m still alive and I exist. I haven’t gotten any asks lately so I’ll be doing a bit of shameless promotions. When I’m finished this I’ll probably put a ridiculous amount of tags to get this out to everyone, but whatever.

Anyway I hope that my followers would help promo the blog since I do enjoy getting asks and helping people out the best I can. Also I want to wish you all a Happy New Year, in hope you all do great in the Romance sectors of your lives.

So just come on by and ask me about your dating problems or just love in general. I do want this blog to become a resource for others to come back too if they have any problems with their relationships, and to do that we need more asks!

So with that, I hope you all have a good year and wish you the best!

[shoujolovedoctor]

Hey I have a boyfriend now, I can partially thank you. So thank you.

Really? I'm really happy that I could help. It doesn't matter to me if you need to pick and choose what part of my advice to take, so long as you find something useful i'm happy.

So thanks for letting me know.

[shoujolovedoctor]

Hey I sent you a message quite a while ago because I am torn between my best friend and my new friend. I recently realized that my "old feelings" for my best friend are fading and my feelings for my new friend are getting stronger as we get closer. I've heard that in real relationships, old feelings fading is normal. But we're not in a relationship. I'm really confused. P.S. I haven't told either of them yet, but I plan on telling the best friend within te next month... If i still want to.

It’s good that you've come to understand your feelings and that you have resolved yourself to tell someone. I don’t think it would be a great idea to tell your friend since they may not have had any idea of your feelings for them. But if you feel it would help put your feelings to rest then do it.

Getting over someone whether or not you have been in a relationship with them is a common thing so don’t feel worried. It's not wrong for you to want to start a relationship and have leftover feelings too, but you have to realize that  you have to put your all into it. What I'm saying is when pursuing a new relationship don't disregard your old feelings accept them that they were a part of you but now your new feeling are what you truly want to pursue.

Since there really isn't much for me to go on here I'm gonna end it there. But if you need any more help just come to me, and hopefully in at a more prompt pace. I hope my advice and lead you to happiness.

[shoujolovedoctor]

I am close to turning sixteen and I have never had a boyfriend, even though I have a guy best friend that may or may not like me back. Help? Am I pathetic for being single for 15 1/2 years?

First of all, it’s perfectly normal for someone of your age (let alone any age) to be single. So don’t let it get to you that you’ve never dated before, because that’s how people at any age feel about dating.

Now as to your main issue. First, do you truly want to give the kid a chance to be your significant other? Would you consider at least going on a few dates to see why you would want to date him? If the answer is yes to any of these questions then you can move on to the next step.

Now for the next step you’re are gonna have to do some investigating. And by investigating I mean interrogation. And by interrogation I mean asking if he likes you straight up. Baiting is a terrible way to go about any inter personal relationship since it only leads to false promise and disappointment. Finding out his true feelings is an important step.

If he is baiting, drop him like a rock. If not, go for it. Remember that just because it could be your first relationship, it doesn’t mean that it’s your last one. So don’t be too afraid. I hope my advice can help you find happiness.

[shoujolovedoctor]

An important message from Guitar Wolf, y’all.

[shoujolovedoctor]

Ready to help anyone in romantic need.

Just to remind everyone that I'm still alive and I exist. I haven't gotten any asks lately so I'll be doing a bit of shameless promotions. When I'm finished this I'll probably put a ridiculous amount of tags to get this out to everyone, but whatever.

Anyway I hope that my followers would help promo the blog since I do enjoy getting asks and helping people out the best I can. Also I want to wish you all a Happy New Year, in hope you all do great in the Romance sectors of your lives.

So just come on by and ask me about your dating problems or just love in general. I do want this blog to become a resource for others to come back too if they have any problems with their relationships, and to do that we need more asks!

So with that, I hope you all have a good year and wish you the best!

[shoujolovedoctor]

I am torn between two guys One I have known for a year and a quarter and he's sweet and super smart and really funny and obsessed with anime and is my age. I love everything about him. We're very close friends. The other I met in September but I've really gotten to know him and he's a year older than me but sweet and smart and funny and loves video games like me. He's a really nice guy and I recently realized that I've been developing a crush on him. Help please I don't know what to do.

Well there really isn't much I can say on this. It would be irresponsible of me to tell you to go with either one of them and age isn't much of an issue here, it 's more about your feelings. 

How do you really feel about them? Which one do you see yourself with in the long run? Which one do you love more? Are you sure you are just that of a simple crush? Are you sure it's love? This is one of those times where love can turn political and it's sort of sad, but that's how it can turnout sometimes.

Though you could always wait it out. No one says you should pursue a relationship with either of them. Waiting can be a good thing because it lets you reflect on what you want to do. Aside from that all I can tell you is to listen to your heart. Don't feel pressured to make a choice since in the end, it's your choice. So I hope that my advice can help you find happiness.

[shoujolovedoctor]

While not the best way to go about getting a boyfriend, it is rather outgoing.

<How to Get a Boyfriend>

Order a cup of coffee to take-out.

Give the coffee to a male you are interested in and tell him, “If the coffee tastes good, we date; if not, bug off.”

The coffee at our café is good. It is guaranteed that you will end up dating.

If, by chance, you get dumped, then come back. We will give you a cup of hot coffee that you can pour on his face.

[shoujolovedoctor]

We'll I fell for my best friend He got to know Still lead me on This made me fall harder for him Told me that he may like me Stopped talking to me one day Started picking fights with me And abusing me Now he wants to " sort stuff out" And I don't know what to do Please help me

Well first you slap the shit out of him (metaphorically or literally depending on the situation). I'm sorry, but no person deserves all of that and I'm sorry you had to go through that. After that you demand an apology from him before you even consider sorting stuff out. Remember you are a strong, independent person who don't need no man. 

And after that if you still want to be friends or then go for it. And if you still like him enough to want to date him and he feels the same, then you make him wait. Life isn't so easy that you can just hand yourself to anyone just because they want you. But don't wait too long because he may give up and look for someone else.

Essentially, you hold the keys to all of this and only you have the right to make decisions about your relationship with him. Love is War and you can put an end to this war all you need to do is believe in yourself and be strong. I believe you'll be able to find the right path for yourself after that.

So I hope that my advice can bring you happiness!

[shoujolovedoctor]

Hey I've got two close friends who are dating... And I enjoyed being part of their conversations at first because they were pretty adorable. But I can't stand it now, because they're too mushy and I feel jealous because I'm single. But they don't seem to understand and I'm constantly being asked for advice from both of them, even though I often remind them I've never been in a relationship. Any thoughts?

I have been in this kind of situation before and it has led up to the creation of this blog, but still it gets annoying having to be the go between for your friends. Though you should take it as a good thing that they trust you like that. But if you really want them to stop I would suggest you talk to directly about it. Or in a more sly and cunning way suggest they communicate more with each other. That way you are helping both them and yourself.

I know it can be tough being that friend that everyone goes to but I'm sure you can make it. If you have lasted this long, then it means you can probably do more.

Anyway that's all I've got to say.I hope my advice can help you find happiness.

[shoujolovedoctor]

Hello I have a friend who admitted the day before the Christmas Holidays started that he had a crush on me. I let him down easy, telling him that it wouldn't be fair to him if we tried to go anywhere with it because I like someone else. However, I still feel like a horrible person and even though we've texted a few times over the break because we are, in fact, friends, I have to see him face-to-face in a week because school will start again and I'm scared. WHAT DO?

Well first of all, I would highly suggest NOT avoiding him. Avoiding a person right after a confession doesn't bode well for the friendship you are looking for. It can also cause friends to take sides between the 2 of you and I'm sure neither of you want that.

I would suggest you try to talk to him a bit about the status your your relationship with each other. Or in other words to try and clear the awkward air! If you still want to be friends then do that. But never just ignore those feelings, accept them as they are. Knowing that someone likes you shouldn't change your friendship. And that definitely should NOT mean leading them on or using them as a second choice. No one wants to be second best.

All in all what I am trying to say is don't act like it never happened. Confront it for what it is and do your best to go forward with your friendship. 

And you just so happen to develop feelings I'll be here to help you out again.

I hope my advice helps you find happiness!

[shoujolovedoctor]

I was in a relationship with my high school sweetheart for 6 years and now I'm dating this guy who I really am falling for. Only problem is I have no idea how to date. Are there any guidelines to follow? When should dating become more than just dating? Most importantly, how do you know he's just no that into you! Thank you!

Well this is a bit of a tough question as no relationship is that same as the last. But there are general truths that work. So I suppose we'll start with the guidelines of dating.

The SLJ's Guidelines to Dating

Always remember that your dating a human being. By this I mean whatever your feeling in a relationship your partner can feel the same way. Whenever you're sad, or happy, or angry, know that they can feel that way too, so always be aware of that.

Treat them how you want to be treated or even better. No one want to be treated like everyone else in a relationship. That would defeat the point. You have to make them feel special to you. If all things go well then you could be married to them for the rest of your life and you don't want to be treated like a coworker.

This is a Partnership not a Dictatorship. A trend I've been seeing in recent years is that one partner holds power over the other in some sort of way, and it's usually caused my an emotional dependence on the other, and it saddens me to see it happening. This is not how relationships should be. Relationships should be like an intimate reliance of allied nations. You both have something to bring to the table and that's love.

Dating is always awkward, it's not only you. You are not the first person to feel awkward when you are first dating. That is how it is supposed to be. It make the feelings more meaningful and more poignant. It shows that your both putting in an effort to know each other.

COMMUNICATION! COMMUNICATION! COMMUNICATION! This is really big. you see if you never talk to each other, how will you get anywhere in your relationship (or anywhere on a date). Talking to each other about your worries, troubles, joys, feelings is all important. Talking get you closer to a person, even if is just nonsense or talking shit. As long as you can talk openly you will always get closer.

Be Friends! Do not constrain yourselves to the strict lines of Boyfriend/Girlfriend. Those titles are not the only ones you can have with each other. In fact they are licences to be more than that. It means you can be friends, enemies, dance partners, rivals in competition, everything! You are going to have to look at each other for an extended period of time so you have to be able to be more than just Boyfriend/Girlfriend.

And that's what I got for now on guidelines. As for when it comes to when should dating become more than dating. That is not really a decision but an occurrence. You really can't choose that point since it happens when you develop enough of a relationship that you feel comfortable enough to be more than just dating. It is a strange thing that I can't put into words. But you'll know it when it happens or I suppose after.

And to tell if he's just not that into you I would suggest following the words of this high-pitched Australian woman. Click this  to get there.

Now I've all I could, so I hope my advice can help you find happiness.