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[shizuka-atoshi]

sketch for @chell-arts of her oc Shizuka! happy birthday chell!

[shizuka-atoshi]

this kids seen some things

[shizuka-atoshi]

❀seventeen silent sorrows❀ | Chapter 1 | Execution

The poet couldn’t bring herself to look at her classmates anymore. She had done a terrible thing, something that all her life, she only hoped to prevent. Shizuka had only wished that she would be leaving this world without having to take another’s life once more. Life wasn’t fair like that.

Keep reading

[shizuka-atoshi]

Roses are Red. Blood is Too. | Chapter 1 | Trial

“Tick tock, tick tock. Time has ran out. I hope you’ve said all you’ve wanted because this will be the last time you’ll see Poet over there.”

They prop a hand against their hip, 

“Welcome to the show. Enjoy yourselves. This won’t be your only rodeo here.”

And with a snap of their finger, Spec disappears from your sight, and in their place, a projection screen appears before you…

Huh. It seems like Shizuka Atoshi is gone too.

[shizuka-atoshi]

✿ last works ✿ [ shizuka | trial 1.10 | re: everything ]

✽ Shizuka took off her 16 woven bracelets, which were still damp and smelled vaguely of saltwater, and place them gingerly in her bag. She took out one of the notebooks she kept in her bag, and twisted the expensive ballpoint pen she had in another pocket. Scrawling a quick note, she then folded the page’s corner, and closed the notebook. She glanced over to Eadric, taking off her messenger bag after hiding the notebook back inside. Holding out her bag with both hands, the poet was clearly trying her best not to cry.

❀ “E-English-san… please keep… my belongings safe… I… I need all… of these things to… reach my sister… especially the notebook… she needs to… have something from… me. Please keep… th-these safe…”

✽ She waited for them to take her bag, before she turned to look at her other roommate. While they did not know each other well- Megumi still tried to save her. She couldn’t ignore that.

❀ “Th…Thank you, Hirase-san… th…thank you…”

✽ She could feel tears stinging her eyes once more, but she tried her best to not cry. She then turned to Daiki. Her hand rested against her chest as she tried to raise her voice to be just loud enough for him to hear.

❀ “Kageyama-san… I’m sorry… p-please ensure that… Masae receives… my belongings… a-and…”

✽ Her eyes trailed to the ground momentarily, but they found their way to Daiki before quietly speaking again.

❀ “T-Tell… Sawamura-san… I’m sorry… please get back to her… and… I hope my family can turn… to you three… if things get… difficult…”

✽ His words to her made her tears spill over.

❀ “I…th….thank you… thank you… Kageyama-san… thank you…”

✽ She turned to Ryou, and nervously touched her hair. Clearing her throat and swallowing her fear as best she could, she tried to speak aloud again.

❀ “Akiyama-san… Thank you for looking… out for me… If… you ever meet my sister… please share… your kindness with her…”

✽ Nodding in reassurance (whether it was more for Ryou or herself, she didn’t know) her gaze made its way around the circle, wondering if she had enough time to speak to everyone else she had spoken to in the past. Feeling Spec’s impatient stare on her back, she walked back to her podium and choked out a few last words.

❀ “I wish… we could have… met under… better circumstances… please take care of… each other… and find a… way out of here… do… not hurt each other…”

✽ There was a sour taste in her mouth. She felt numb, but that was nothing compared to how loud her heart was beating, in fear. Was it really in her place to be saying such things? She carefully looked at Spec, shaking as they were clearly ready to send her off to this ‘execution’ that was being prepared for her as punishment. She didn’t know what to expect- no one really did, did they?

[shizuka-atoshi]

✿ for the living ✿ [ shizuka | trial 1.9 | re: himiko, eadric, yosuke, ryou, travis ]

✽ It was overwhelming. She wasn’t expecting so many people to come so close to her, to react this way- after all, she was a murderer, wasn’t she? She was near tears again when Himiko began yelling at Spec.

❀ “Suzugawa-san… pl…please do not… argue… please-”

✽ But she wouldn’t listen. She backed away slightly when the voice imitator came closer to her, only to realize she seemed to calm down from her outburst at Spec. When Shizuka heard her offer, the poet just burst into tears.

❀ “I-I cannot… I’m sorry…”

✽ She hid her face behind one hand, looking up at the girl in the braid.

❀ “Th…Thank you… though… I… thank you…”

✽ Words alone wouldn’t be enough for her sister and mother now. They needed something else, and Shizuka was in no place to give that. She couldn’t anymore. It was too late. She hid her entire face in her hands, sobbing at the thought that she’d never see her family again, when she felt someone’s arms around her. The poet froze, holding her breath. She tried her best to keep her hands from shaking as she heard Eadric sobbing into her. As uncomfortable she was by the physical contact, simply hearing them weep for her alone made her want to cry too. The poet took a few deep breaths, placing a shaky hand on Eadric’s grasping arms. She tried her best to turn around and… she actually hugged them. She wasn’t sure if she was doing it correctly, but she just thought of how she’d console her sister. Her hand rubbed their back gingerly, and instead of signing an ‘everything’s going to be okay’, she whispered it to them, hoping that they got the message.

✽ Whether or not they let go of her, the poet tried to inch away even just a little, holding onto Eadric’s hand and repeating the reassuring words over and over. She placed her hand on their shoulder, and gave them… a warm smile. Her green eyes then turned at the sound of Ryou’s voice. Hearing him apologize she… only shook her head.

❀ “Please… do not… apologize, Akiyama-san…”

✽ Yosuke’s voice made her head turn- they had only spoken for a brief moment however… his words made her chest hurt. It all hurt so much. Their words made it seem like she was going away for only a short time- a summer vacation away from the school- but in reality, these were the final words the poet would speak- and she couldn’t say anything.

✽ What brought her back was Travis’ coffee. She listened to him ramble. As she gazed at the cup of coffee, she swears that perhaps in another life or two, they could’ve been friends. Real friends. As his hand stuck out, the poet looked at him.

✽ Yeah. They could’ve been great friends. Surely in another life.

❀ “…Thank you… Dell-san… please get out of… here. Go back home… to your family… F-For me…”

✽ Though she hesitated, she knew that the living needed more from her than they’d realize. That’s how she always felt about death, anyway. It was odd to be on the other side without having gone to the other side just yet. She shook his hand, her eyes brimming with tears.

❀ “Thank you….”

✽ She glanced at the coffee, picking it up. Instead of trying to drink it, tearing starting flowing down her face again. She was really dying. She was really, actually going to die, and she couldn’t do anything about it. Shizuka stared at the familiar liquid, and didn’t say another word, letting the tears fall into the coffee.

[shizuka-atoshi]

✿ flower speaks ✿ [ shizuka | trial 1.8 | re: voting results ]

✽ It was over. Shizuka stared at her podium, unmoving, but her hands shaking in fear. They had voted for her, and while they were correct, she still felt like this was all one big mistake. She wasn’t ready to die. Her bangs fell over her eyes as she looked down, hiding the pain inside them from the rest of the trial room.

✽ Her right hand gently moved to hold onto her left arm, rubbing it the way she would to calm her sister down. No matter how hard it got to deal with death in her life, not once did she ever think of leaving her mother and sister like this. Imagining her sister’s pain only brought more tears to her eyes.

✽ Wiping them away without another thought, Shizuka momentarily placed her face in her hands, attempting to take deep breaths, before looking back up at everyone around the trial circle. Some of them looked confused, others hurt, while the rest were simply waiting for her punishment. Her head turned to Daiki again, then to Nayeli, who was the person who caught her. Staring at the dancer, the poet opened her mouth slowly, and all that came out with a broken and quiet voice.

❀ “I-I’m sorry…”

✽ It hurt so much, knowing that she wouldn’t even be able to give her mother a hug or her sister some encouraging words. She couldn’t tell them everything was going to be okay. The circle had all its eyes on the murderer of Colette Bäcker, no matter how accidental the death may have been.

❀ “u-um… Bäcker-san found me… in the lounge… where I usually spend my… nights because I have trouble sleeping… I usually write my… journal entries there… she asked if… I could come up with her to… play mini golf… I-I could… not say no… to her… however she did allow me to… put away my bag… in my room… f-first… English-san and Hirase-san were already asleep…”

✽ She looked around, taking in how everyone was reacting. Then it was back to staring aimlessly at the floor.

❀ “We went up… and played golf f-for not even… a long time before sh-she… told me to come up with… her to the observation… deck… th-the moon was… it was peaceful and th-the she… grabbed me and pushed me… t-towards the railing… I-I got scared and she almost had me… over the edge and then I h-held onto her which w-was enough to… make her lose her balance and… lean too far over the railing… I do not think she knew how to swim… th-that’s why she grabbed the life preserver and… the rope and… we both fell… I was in the water… by the time Bäcker-san… fell in and hit her head a-and…”

✽ Her arms wrapped around herself, holding onto her sweater sleeves.

❀ “I-I am… not a life guard… I can swim enough to keep a-afloat… but my clothes w-were heavy… I did not… see Bäcker-san… I c-could not… I… just s-swam back t… to the dock and… I j-just… “

✽ Shaking her head, she looked at Nayeli, then at the sweater in her hands.

❀ “Y-You were correct… It was too difficult to swim… with that… sweater… I took it off before… trying to swim back to… the boat… against the… current… by… by then Bäcker-san was… was…”

✽ Was it really her fault? If Shizuka hadn’t grabbed Colette, all that would’ve happened would be a failed murder attempt by the Sugar Painter. The poet couldn’t look at anyone anymore. As much of an accident it was- as much as she could plead and ask for forgiveness for not knowing Colette couldn’t swim; for not doing anything to save the Sugar Painter, it was, in the end, her fault that they were dead.

❀ “I'm… s-so sorry…”

[shizuka-atoshi]

World

Chroma Crossing - 11 Lacebark Labyrinth - 0

Culprit

Shizuka - 8 Megumi - 1 Nao - 1 Himiko - 1

With the most votes, Shizuka Atoshi has been selected as the culprit. Congratulations! You found the killer.

[shizuka-atoshi]

Coffee Break | Chapter 1 | Trial

Spec strides his way towards the center of the ring of podiums, and he gives almost a mocking introductory bow.

“It seems that time is up for votes. How about we see the results then? After that, I’ll let you have some time to say whatever you want. Have fun~!”

[shizuka-atoshi]

Shizuka didn't say another word. She stared down at her console and voted for herself, Chroma Crossing; no hesitation in her actions.

Vote Recorded.

[shizuka-atoshi]

✿ dark coffee ✿ [ shizuka | trial 1.7 | re: travis ]

✽ The trial circle around her had become an arguing blur. There was nothing she could do- she didn’t want to admit to doing anything until it was over though. Nao’s, Yori’s and Hikari’s words stung, however, they were true. Shizuka of all people should know that.

✽ After dealing with so much death in her life, she should know. After blaming herself for all her friends lives, she should know. Why was it so hard to let go?

✽ Travis’ words, while he was only asking questions, stung too. The poet shook her head slowly, her eyes unresponsive.

❀ “It was… not mine. I do not… drink… coffee at night. I have trouble… sleeping… only in… the morning… if I have difficulty… staying awake… it was not mine… it was not mine… it… was… n-not…”

✽ Her head shook again, repeating the words over and over. She didn’t seem to want to, or realize that she hadn’t replied to the rest of his questions. She didn’t even react to his metaphorical speaking. Would pleading for self-defense even help her in this case? Spec was expecting an execution, wasn’t he? That’s what it said in the auto-help. That’s what it said, and she couldn’t argue with it. She was going to die… everyone was going to vote for her and she was going to die…

✽ The poet fell silent again.

[shizuka-atoshi]

✿ away ✿ [ shizuka | trial 1.6 | re: spec, daiki ]

✽ It was all so much. The poet was completely overwhelmed with the idea that she may die today, if her classmates continued to believe that she really was the one to kill Colette. She nervously twisted the bracelets around her left wrist, repeating Spec’s words in her head. Guilt crept up inside her, and Daiki’s voice wasn’t helping. She stared at him as he tried to make sense of everything.

❀ “B…B…äcker… she… n-no, I mean.. sh…”

✽ Shizuka struggled to explain herself, as she watched Daiki move from his podium, getting closer to her. While she knew him even before they made it into this mess- a friend of her friend, she didn’t know him well enough to know his intentions. The poet stopped talking, holding in her breath as she turned to face him. She stepped back into her podium as he leaned down slightly, and as she found herself leaning against it, she flinched as he touched her shoulder. She froze again, staring at him in fear and discomfort as he tried to talk some calm into her.

✽ The poet shook her head, looking to the floor. She didn’t know what to say. The longer Daiki had his hand on her shoulder, the more uncomfortable she felt. She didn’t know what to do.

❀ “N…No… I… I-I d…do… n-not… have… I… M…Masae… and my… my mother… I cannot… l-leave… them… I d…do not… w-want to… leave them…”

✽ Her voice was low and broken, as her hands shook by her sides. This was it. She didn’t have an alibi and no one else could vouch for her. But she couldn’t admit to doing anything either. She just wanted to go home to her family- her talent didn’t matter as much as they did- and yet she was being accused of killing someone just so she could keep her talent. She felt so guilty, but she couldn’t turn away from her mother and sister. Shizuka stood there, shaking and staring away from Daiki, her tears drying on her face.

[shizuka-atoshi]

✿ mistakes ✿ [ shizuka | trial 1.5 | re: nayeli, megumi, travis ]

✽ The poet’s hand clenched up into fists as she listened to the conversation Nayeli and Travis were having in English. This couldn’t have been happening. The poet didn’t know what to do. She hid her face in her hands, but that didn’t last too long, since Nayeli was talking to her again. And oh, the things she was saying… it definitely hurt Shizuka.

✽ The poet shook her head, her entire body trembling in fear. She looked at the sweater again, shaking her head even more. She stepped away from her podium a bit, clenched hands at her chest, as if to protect herself, as she struggled to get her words out.

❀ “N..No, no, that… is not mine… please… please, I …do..not not w…want to… d…die…. Please… I… my sister… m-my mother… I cannot… l-leave them… please, I d…d….d….d-don’t want to die…!”

✽ She was full on crying now. Burying her face in her hands, she tried wiping the tears away, but they were coming on too fast. The poet was a mess- and she continued to mumble her pleas into her hands. She knew all too well what was going to happen next in this trial. It scared her. Suddenly, she heard the reassuring voice of one of her roommates- even if she didn’t know the two that well, seeing that Megumi was at least trying to calm her down. Sniffling as she looked up at the taller student, who was now leaning down to at least be a similar height, she listened closely to Megumi’s words- though instead of making her feel better, Shizuka seemed to just… start crying even more.

❀ “L-Lie…? Wh…I’m.. s-sorry… I am sorry, I… I did not do th…this I… u-um…”

✽ The poet shook in her spot, her sweater sleeves soaking up as many tears as they could, though it was clear that her sobbing was happening faster than she could clean it up. She took two shaky breaths, and remembered Megumi’s question. Tears still flowing down her face, she looked at her taller roommate, and then looked back down to the floor nervously.

❀ “Hirase-s-san… please… n…no… no… I…. did… did not… know… I… sh… she… I didn’t… w-want to… I…it… was… n-not m…me…”

✽ Slowly, her tears began to fade, as she curled into her frame, staring at Megumi. There was a silence, before Travis began speaking again, and it hurt, to see someone who was defending her, to turn on her so suddenly. She winced at his words, her heart racing. She didn’t know what to do. Gulping, she gave a shaky glance to their resident crystal-ball-head, who was walking around the trial circle.

❀ “S…Spec… u-um…”

✽ She had never actually spoken to them before, and she certainly didn’t want to now… but she had to know.

❀ “W…What happens… w…what really happens… if we… g-get this wrong… t…to the person who will… b-be… r-randomly… s…selected… w….what happens to them…. They do not… a-actually… th… they d-don…t….”

✽ Her tears were threatening to come back, as her shoulder raised in fear for the answer.

[shizuka-atoshi]

✿ cold, careful ✿ [ shizuka | trial 1.4 | re: nayeli, travis ]

✽ Taking deep breaths, Shizuka finally was able to keep the tears at bay again. It was getting harder and harder to remain calm as the trial went on, however Travis’ kind words really did bring her a sense of comfort. She nodded towards his offer of coffee, and in any other case, if they were close friends perhaps, she’d smile. The poet’s face remained unchanging though, that permanent tired and nervous look in its place instead.

✽ It was obvious that the poet was holding her breath as Nayeli began speaking again. The last time the dancer did, was when the sweater was brought up, and it didn’t make Shizuka feel any better that Nayeli was mentioning it again. After all, people were asking questions about it, why wouldn’t Nayeli answer them?

✽ She wasn’t expecting that though.

✽ The poet froze in her spot, eyes wide and breath still. She stared at Nayeli as the other looked back, waiting for the answer to her question. The poet’s hands started shaking as she could feel the rest of the trial’s eyes all on her. She didn’t even blink.

✽ What brought her out of her daze was Travis’ voice again, rather, his objection, which made her jump. He was… defending her. She could feel her lungs fill with air again as she tried to calm down. Things would be fine. She wasn’t going to be accused of anything, and especially not murder, right? This was just a misunderstanding.

✽ She reacted when Travis began speaking English. She first looked at the Mock Trial Captain, and then at Nayeli, realizing that he was speaking to her. Shizuka then stared at the floor, trying to make it seem that she didn’t understand what he was saying.

✽ It was quiet again. People were waiting for her to speak. With a worried expression, she looked back at Nayeli.

❀ “K…Kikuchi-san… I… I do… understand… E-English… h-however… p…please believe me… when… when I say that I’ve… never seen… that note in my… life before… I… j-just like… English-san… also is s-small and just… h-happens to…. to… to know English…. d….doesn’t mean they… did it… either… I… d…do… do you really… th-think I would… d…do something like this…?”

✽ Her bottom lip was trembling, and she tried so hard not to, but before she knew it, tears were filling up in her eyes again as she looked at the sweater.

❀ “Wh… Why would I… l-leave that… s-sweater th…there… if it were… m-mine… j…just because I wear… something similar… d..doesn’t mean that it…it.. Is mine…! It isn’t… it isn’t mine… I-I didn’t… d..do this, please… I would not… k-kill… s…someone… Why would… it be there… m-my clothes are dry… this is… the o-only sweater I… have, r-really…”

✽ Gesturing towards the cardigan on herself, she felt a few stray tears fall over her cheeks. She wasn’t sure why she felt like crying- was it the guilt she felt of just simply being accused? Was it because of the fact that she was being accused and it could lead to punishment? Whatever it was, Nayeli had been answered, and was given a new question. The poet looked around the ring, wiping away her tears and staring at the floor. She covered her mouth, breathing in deeply through her nose as she attempted to get herself to stop from crying further. She just wanted this to be over. She didn’t want this to get worse.

[shizuka-atoshi]

✿ too tired ✿ [ shizuka | trial 1.3 | re: megumi, eadric ]

✽ Shizuka sighed. The trial had come to a standstill again, and the topic at hand was this mysterious note. She looked over at Megumi with shifting eyes, blinking ever so often as she continued to speak. There was silence- and while Shizuka usually enjoyed the silence, this was an uncomfortable kind.

✽ Tugging gently on the end of her strands of hair, twisting them absentmindedly, Shizuka tilted her head, looking at her roommates again.

❀ “it was… f-found in… the… trash can… correct…? th…the note… why… would it be… crumpled up… there…? instead of… w-with… Bäcker-san or th… the… th-the…”

✽ She looked at the floor, shoulders raising. Suddenly feeling tears sting her eyes. Blinking, she closed them, brushing her cheeks gently. Her green eyes looked back at her classmates, particularly at Yoshika, who was now speaking. She stared at the floor. How long would this continue to go on for?

[shizuka-atoshi]

✿ quiet questions ✿ [ shizuka | trial 1.2 | re: new evidence, megumi ]

✽ The trial was moving rather quickly- in fact, a little too quickly for the poet to handle. Her eyes slowly followed everyone around the trial room, and even after spending some time with someone like Eadric, she just couldn’t get used the the speed things were being presented in.

✽ The poet gulped, tugging the sleeves of her sweater, surprised by how many things people were able to find- maybe she could’ve too, if she actually tried looking. Death wasn’t always easy to deal with for some people, though. When Yori began speaking, Shizuka froze, holding her breath. While he was nice enough to… give her mouth back, just realizing how he spoke to others made her a little nervous. She pressed her lips together, staring at the floor as to not raise attention towards herself.

✽ There was a point where Shizuka wanted to speak up, to ask for clarification about all of these puddles, all these golf putters, all of this talk about the life preserver… but she found herself simply spectating, her eyes watching the back and forth between the students. She eyed Himiko as she explained her theory about the lack of a fight, and then stared back down at the floor. This whole thing felt wrong, no matter how much everyone talked about it.

✽ What took her eyes off the ground was Nayeli’s voice. The poet wrung her wrists nervously as the dancer began speaking just as nervously towards everyone. Shizuka stared at the silver-haired student, and her heart pretty much skipped a beat when she unraveled the sweater off of her waist. When her name was mentioned, Shizuka jumped- she thought that her silence was enough to keep her all out of this horrible trialing. The poet gave the floor it’s much-deserved attention once more, her hands pulling on the ends of her sweater sleeves once more. Everything felt so wrong.

✽ Her roommates began speaking, and Shizuka’s eyes flickered towards them for a moment. It was somewhat reassuring to have such familiar people near her, even if they didn’t have the closest relationship just yet. A confused look appeared on the poet’s face as Megumi mentioned the note she found. A note in English?

✽ The poet looked at the rest of the students once more, folding her hands together in front of her. Nao’s words left a sour taste in her mouth, and as she eyed him, Daiki began speaking. Things were picking up a little too fast for her again, and she nervously began wringing her wrists once more. Megumi’s words… surprised her yet again. She moved her gaze towards her taller roommate. Slowly, she opened her mouth, then closed it again. Clearing her throat, she finally allowed herself to speak up a bit louder.

❀ “w…was Bäcker-san…not…s-someone who… perhaps was… from… an English-speaking… country… as well…? H…Her name certainly… s….sounded… like it… c-could’ve… b…been… I… may… be wrong… however…. per…perhaps she… s-simply… wrote in… English… out…. out of…. h….habit… and…”

✽ She looked over at her shorter roommate, then back at Megumi with a sad expression.

❀ “D-Do you… r-really believe… that… E-English…-san would… d…do…. do s…something… l…like this… Hirase-san…?”

✽ The poet gulped, her frame sinking a bit. She stepped back, almost as if she were afraid of what Megumi would say after that. Finally, she looked back to the floor, her bangs sheltering her face.

[shizuka-atoshi]

✿ shy start ✿ [ shizuka | trial 1.1 | re: introductions ]

✽ Shizuka somehow made it to Saffron Square with everyone else. Her steps were shaky, and she held on tightly to her console, which was hidden in her bag. She didn’t like this. She wasn’t at all helpful with investigation, and was far too shy to ask to tag along with anybody. She kept to herself, and the mere fact that Colette was dead made her feel sick. Horrible. She couldn’t shake off that feeling that she had felt so many times before throughout her life. She thought it was gone for good.

✽ but it wasn’t. And now she was forced to sit around in a circle with all her classmates, trying to figure out who did it. She couldn’t run from her feelings like she did with Akae or Akeno or Akihito or Konatsu- she had to stay and face the facts.

✽ It seemed that everyone was introducing themselves, and while she wasn’t someone to speak without being asked to- but the situation itself was asking for it. Waiting for a moment of silence, she cleared her throat and opened her mouth slightly.

❀ “e-everyone… seems to… be introducing th-them…selves… um… my name… is… Shizuka…Atoshi… S…SHSL… Poet…”

✽ The first thing any of you, who haven’t spoken to her before, is how agonizingly slow she speaks. This was going to take a while.

❀ “I-I… I did not… investigate… m..much… my.. apologies.. I… I-I had… trouble… getting…g-getting…”

✽ You waited for her to spit out her words, but instead she just looked to the floor, her bangs and bird’s nest hair obscuring your view from her face. Looks like that was all she was going to say for now.