shitchangesanditsucks

[shitchangesanditsucks]

Forward

Embracing what life throws.

Held yourself back from me

Thinking you were gonna be free

Trying to suppress your emotions

Like a broken TNT bursting with explosions

Now with the ache of longing for me

I’m not the only one who can see to agree

Got your mind and heart racing for me

We both know there’s just too much history

Even on my days of leaving, there was no one else I wanted back

Then seeing you with another felt straight up like a heart attack

Wanted to bring in another life with you

Who knew life could ever feel so blue

Never thought the saying of the rose-colored glasses being so true

If you weren’t the one for me then

You wouldn’t be the one for me now

Feeling and purging

No more of the impulses to fill in the urging

Processing the emotions

Finding balance out of the mental and emotional distortions

Know that I’m attractive

Many suitors want my heart captive

But I never put my eggs in one basket

I’m looking to be loved until they’re in their damn casket

Just like back in Feburary of 2021,

Losing him made me feel done

I should’ve been killed by takotsubo cardiomyopathy

Made my mistakes, but no I’m not looking for any sympathy

Cause I know I got my angels who are watching over me

I’m hoping my big, little Zenitsu is living carefree

Angels on both sides, I got the best of both worlds

Constantly reminding me a delay is never a denial

Who knew being tested could feel like a trial

Got my heart in a bind

But it’s a reminder of my never-ending grind

To feel and to heal

To show the next generation life is like a pinwheel

I tell the lord I surrender all to him

Even if I feel stuck in a limb

I need that death of the egotism

Not necessarily looking for another baptism

All I know is I gotta let go of fear

Keeping it calm, cool, collected steering clear

Maybe a spiritual cleanse will do me right

I’m just tired of all this fucking gaslight