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We looked inside some of the posts by shhh-secret-bitching and here's what we found interesting.
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How do I get over my own fucking feelings of not being enough of not being good enough to talk to people I want to consider my friends. How do I get passed this big fucking mountain you put in front of me when you decided to tell me everything you have ever felt about me and it all being negative the second I say something to my partner in private that you just happen to see me type over my shoulder. How can I trust anyone getting close to me when they could all be fake like you. How can I be unapologetically me when the people I let closest to me might be hating me behind my back. I overthink every single thing now worse than I did before. I finally started to make friends and actually meet them in person but now I have hit this point where I can get closer to them all because of you. You were my closest friend after I got out of another abusive friendship and I thought you would be there for me. But it turns out you were just another shit hole that now I can’t move past. And when I thought I was moving past that friend group was also abusive. Am I just a punching bag for everyone to use. Why can’t I just make friends like a normal person. I want to be closer to them I want to be considered close friends with them but I’m stuck
Why did you do this to me?
#vent post#personal#personal vent#why can’t I move on#struggle#abusive friends#in therapy but it’s not working for this#and I have other things to talk about besides this#I’m to self aware for it to help#i hate this
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Do you ever enter a sub section of a fandom only to find out after almost a year of being in the discord that is had be come cult like. Like this fandom let me met some amazing people but the creator is so so toxic and manipulative. You get put in this trance of always giving them attention when they want it. Always needing to be available for activities in the server and if you aren’t you are made to feel like a horrible person. That you get so Ostracized when you don’t do something the correct way even if you have done it before. The creator can do no wrong with their characters, even though they wrap up and era with every single one turning back to a single characteristic even tho they were so so deep when it started out. There were some amazing times but the more I look back in the more I can see how much shit I let go because I just wanted to be accepted and liked.
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