shewritesitforher-blog

[shewritesitforher-blog]

The world is full with broken hearts

When i was still kid, i never ask my mom why my dad is not sleep at home

and she just say daddy went to outstation and she doesnt even smile

maybe she just missing him alot. 

later i grow up and i learn that my dad has other wives

at first i thought it was a joke

then i notice he always away during night time and he always find

excuse to bring us out like before

i guess i dont know how to face this and so i only feel broken.

but then i know im also got another sibs because my dad has other children with

his other wives. that time, i just realize, how my heart is broken and 

have to face that i have to share my dad and how all these time

my mom choose to stay because of us, her children, and sacrifice

her happiness. 

time passed us by

and so i grow up too

i take it as normal and pretend everything was OK

until one day, we heard rumors, daddy just marry another wives,

which just same age with my eldest sister and he brought this up to all world known this.

well this time, i cant truly accept it. 

i was really break down, mental illness, and i made alot of mistakes. 

i blame everything and put the blames by doing bad things to myself

its like revenge to this broken heart.

i think all the men are trash and they only care about lust and money

nothing with love

so i play along the game

i couple with many men and make them broken heart

i cheats again and again

i make them believe all was love and left them just like that

and most of the men i hurt are the most i love and they are so kind to me

but im moster and let their hearts broken. but i never feel satisfied till

i realize how empty i am

empty inside and so i am the broken not them.

[shewritesitforher-blog]

How she starts

Most of the time i was just create story in my head

i create the memories

i read it out loud but only in my imagination

sometimes i talk to the wall, so i dont feel lonely much

not many as know i was before sick because i had fibrosis 

but i pass through it the way in and out.

years go by, now i just finished my studies. 

gonna be 24 by this May

i guess time is flies fast without i even realize it. 

I still figure about my life

What I want 

What I want to be

How my life will be and such..

Not all my dreams has come to the point which is come true.

Some is that still on the way, some has gone because of time passed by

and some just disappear and guess will never come back

But thats how life works. You made mistakes, you learn and you grow. 

And it goes on and on.