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i hate viruses so fucking much. literally getting attacked by a fucking shape. a concept. consumes no energy. responds to no stimuli. its only existence is to fuck with you. like fuck offf

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My one friend group can't stop saying, "See you in hell!" in a cheerful voice instead of, "Talk to you later!" and my other friend group can't stop calling things "penis" instead of "cool" or "good", so I just unironically uttered the phrase, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," as I got off the phone.

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no more analysis on this topic because surprisingly a redditor managed to sum up my opinion.

like do you know what's said to women online? here you go, here is something a man said to me: "can't blame him, if my daughter looked like you i'd be in jail too".I also on my old blog got very graphic rape threats and fantasies (consequences of arguing with libertarians) (genuinely concerned about the one guy who did this on three separate accounts after getting banned)

but honestly comments like that to me are normal at this point, what makes me more angry is seeing them directed at other women, because i'd feel so much better if it were just me and this wasn't a widespread issue.

I think the only "solution" is in parenting. you could create a venn diagram of men who say stuff like this and men whose mothers will be the mother in law in a r/JUSTNOMIL post. you can't hide your child from all the ills of the world, but you can help them develop cognitive empathy before they encounter it. "boys will be boys" parenting stops being fun and quirky once your son gets rejected by a classmate and acquires a weapon. so yeah, either stop gendering your parenting or raise your daughter the same awful way so at least everyone loses #equalitywin #7thwavefeminism

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Important tips for writing children (from me, a fanfic writer who's worked in a primary school and a preschool):

Children are cleverer than you think they are. Children as young as 3 and 4 already have complex thoughts and feelings, just not necessarily the language to express them. By age 9 and 10 most children basically talk like small adults who just have a lot less knowledge and life experience than you.

Young children are also funnier than you think they are. And on purpose a lot more than you think. Small children are very capable of making jokes deliberately, and will get annoyed if adults don't realise they were making a joke.

Most children learn to talk in complex sentences a lot sooner than you think they do, and toilet train a lot later than you think they do. It's not at all unusual for a child to a capable of having full coherent conversations and elaborate imaginary play with you before they can use the potty.

Young children's imaginary play is often very violent. It's not weird or worrying for a 4 year old to play dolls' house by having daddy push mummy down the stairs and then hide her body in the wardrobe, it's literally normal. Most little girls are not playing babies and tea parties, no matter what the movies try to tell you.

Young children make friends very quickly. Both becoming new best friends with other children and becoming very attached to adults that they decide they like after like an hour.

Even the nicest children are selfish or rude or disobedient sometimes. They are small complex people trying to assert autonomy in a world full of bigger people who hold all the power and don't recognise or respect how complex or intelligent they are, and that can be very frustrating.

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TBOY WRESTLING IN THE PAPERS!! go pick up the article from LA times!!

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i love when the “it is my god given right to remain miserable and take things personally. fuck you for making a post about the importance of drinking water. a bottle of dasani tried to kill me in the fourth grade” crowd and the “you guys are so stupid. you can actually cure every disease on earth with diet and exercise. no i’m not ‘lucky’ to be in ‘good health,’ i just take care of myself :) i have a superiority complex about this by the way” crowd start arguing. it’s a real unstoppable force v. immovable object situation

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everyone get unemployed. i will provide for us.

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someone fired a bullet through our bathroom wall the other day when we were gone, which is scary (but probably accidental), but the weirdest part is that we can’t actually find the place where it entered from outside... the wall inside is fucked up and you can see the hole where it came through, but there is no corresponding entrance hole on the exterior of the house. somehow the outer paneling was undamaged.

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Why does basil smell so fucking amazing

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My cats wanted to fight again and I wasn't letting them but the passion in their eye contact suggests they started fighting telepathically

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i feel like a big part of the "two nickels" joke that most people don't appreciate (as it has sort of become lost in translation since becoming a meme) is the fact that we have absolutely zero knowledge of how doofenshmirtz was doomed by a puppet the first time. the original punchline was about making us think "how the hell has that happened to him before"

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devastating news for the discourse poster: “media literacy” in the modern age includes the ability to identify which posts are bait

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theyre so lesbians

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do u guys remember one bad gloop and she do what i yoinky