shelbylion

[shelbylion]

“PLAY!”

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[shelbylion]

[shelbylion]

I confuse people. i have a happy personality and a sad soul. i'm bold but shy. i love deeply but sometimes i feel heartless. i'm healing and hurting at the same time. i'm dedicated to growth, but i self sabotage

[shelbylion]

Actions speak louder than words but consistency speaks louder than both. Choose people that always make you feel wanted.

[shelbylion]

"Well, I've got a game for you."

[shelbylion]

Respect your energy!

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Distance brings clarity. I know this is hard to do, but think about it. If it’s putting you in a low vibrational state, it’s not good for you anyway. And the best way to really see a situation or even get it back is to separate yourself from it.

[shelbylion]

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[shelbylion]

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“Some people are in your life to test you …. Until you stand up and say: Enough is enough. I am worth more than you offer me.”

— Unknown

[shelbylion]

[shelbylion]

tracteur, chemin robert, compton

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I remember the first night I met you. I was practically dragged to your house by the neighbor. He was so excited to show my sister and I everything he had done to "de-straight" your house; he had just moved in and was in love with the space for creativity that you provided him with. I remember you not talking, barely looking at any of us, and smoking cigarette after cigarette as if you needed them more than air. And I remember not liking you, and feeling unwelcome in your house. I entertained that thought in regards to you a lot throughout our relationship... Like when you drove drunk around our house on your tractor at 2 in the morning screaming and hollering and I sprayed you in the face with the water hose, or when you convinced the neighbor to get an extra $80 out of my dad for lying about yardwork...our friendship was definitely hazardous at times. But the good memories outweigh the bad. Like crazy nights walking through fires, saving Clutch from Otis in the middle of your living room, and playing beer pong on the table you suspended in the garage- the room so full of fog we could barely see the cups on the other side.

I remember the day you gave me this sweatshirt, smile from ear to ear because you only had a few and you wanted to give them to the people you felt were the real ones. I felt included, a part of a weird little self-created family... And yet errors of thinking, lines of self-preservation, and time get in the way. I almost donated this faded trucker sweater earlier this year; the memories of smiling together were so far away from how we'd become that it didn't feel important anymore.

Now it's all I have left of you. I'll keep it forever now; I'm glad I didn't get rid of it. But I do wish I could get rid of the thought of you splattered across the grounds we used to dig up to turn the water back on. I wish I could drive past your house just once more without the excruciating thought of never seeing you walk outside again. I wish I could hear your laugh as we chuckle about how crazy we all are instead of sitting with this pain of knowing it's the truth.

#suicideawareness

[shelbylion]

milosradulovic

[shelbylion]

by billsplawn