she-is-alive

[she-is-alive]

Finally someone put it into words

[she-is-alive]

[she-is-alive]

[she-is-alive]

I don't know how many followers I've kept throughout the years and years that I've had this blog and that's okay.

So, let me just go ahead and say: I've been in some shitty situations, some really shitty relationships, and some really shitty things have happened to me. Who hasn't though, right? Well, as a result of all of this, I have some pretty anxiety.

This will be short and sweet mainly because since I've graduated I'm not too sure how to make my words flow just the way I want them to and it embarrasses me. One day I'll get better with that. It would be really neat to be able to help someone just by them reading my words.

ANYWAY. The purpose of this:

I am in the absolute BEST relationship I've ever been in. Hands down. Guys, it is the COOLEST thing to be dating your best friend. It's up there on my favorite things in this world.

However, as a result of my past, my anxiety still haunts me and although I'm in the best place I've been, it doesn't go away. ALL day, and when I mean all day I mean like, I woke up at 6:30 this morning starting to worry about Joshua. First I was wondering if he was okay and then it transformed into: since I don't have a missed call, he didn't want to talk to me this morning, he forgot about me, and he's probably getting tired of me. Like most people, I get on Facebook to see when he's been active...all that crazy shit. Well, he has been but no good morning, no I miss you, no "hey baby I just woke up but going back to bed I love you." Type stuff. -Nothing-

My relationship is ending and he just doesn't care says my brain. How could I not be the first thing he thinks about when really, hes the one that consumes EVERY one of my thoughts. I was sad. I call him on my way to work.... No answer. WHY ARE YOU STILL SLEEPING. Send him kind of a sassy text message. Because, I'm a shit head and missing him is real and I'm scared. I'm nervous. I'm anxious. I call him a second time. He answers. YAY only, he just woke up and my mind tells me although his just wake up voice is present, it's not that he's just waking up it's that he's upset with you.

ALL evening I've worried. Talked to my friends, almost text him and asked him if he was tired of me ... Yeah. It's bad.

Moving on - he just called me to make sure he said good night because he's driving to a call right now. He was happy to hear my voice, thankful I was still awake, and ready to hear about my day. He informed me he tired to call me this morning but I have bad service so my phone never rang.

All is good in my relationship. My nerves are better. My heart rate is going down.

Anxiety is a scary thing. Thankful, extremely thankful for my relationship. And extra thankful I didn't text him something crazy.

[she-is-alive]

As I pull the blankets down in my bed, I got this overwhelming feel of joy. One day, hopefully soon, I will be doing this same act only Joshua will be pulling down one side and me the other. And as of right now, not much has given me that same sense of comfort. Five more days. Just five more days.

[she-is-alive]

Joshua Shane ❤️

I like the way

I like the way you make me feel even when I’m nowhere near

I like the way was originally published on FluppyBunny

[she-is-alive]

“The most important thing in all human relationships is conversation, but people don’t talk anymore, they don’t sit down to talk and listen. They go to the theater, the cinema, watch television, listen to the radio, read books, but they almost never talk. If we want to change the world, we have to go back to a time when warriors would gather around a fire and tell stories.”

— Paulo Coelho (via amargedom)

[she-is-alive]

Daily reminder!

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“But he wasn’t written for her and no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t rewrite the story.”

- C. H.

[she-is-alive]

“Sometimes, the biggest secrets you can only tell a stranger.”

—

[she-is-alive]

One day soon...

No timers, no alarms, no countdowns. Every night just you and I.

[she-is-alive]

Just a reminder that tonight (January 20, 2019) is a total lunar eclipse! It will also be the wolf moon and a super moon! Very powerful energy will be released tonight. It will be able to be seen in North America, South America and parts of Africa. Have a magical night!

[she-is-alive]

I just want to crawl in bed with someone I care about and have my heart feel at home again and watch movies and talk about random stuff for hours

[she-is-alive]

[she-is-alive]

[she-is-alive]

[she-is-alive]

“You need people in your life that are further along than you, people that are more experienced, people that are out of your league. You need to be exposed to new levels so that you can go to new levels.”

— Joel Osteen