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[shard010]

Bragging Rights

https://archiveofourown.org/works/59288833 by Iwantfinneyblakesgender Tony is at a Christmas gala with other rich people (aka a social gathering that he doesn't wanna be ay) and he somehow ends up getting pulled into a group conversation where they end up talking about their interns and kids. They're all complaining about their kids (jokingly) and interns (less jokingly) and Tony who has Peter who is technically both is confused because he thinks Peter's great and then he starts to brag and he brags A LOT without even realizing it. . . . My first Marvel fic! And it's Irondad! (◍•ᴗ•◍) Words: 4386, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Iron Man (Movies) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Aunt May Parker (Marvel), Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Peter Parker, Happy Hogan, Original Characters, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s) Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark, Happy Hogan & Pepper Potts, Happy Hogan & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Happy Hogan & Peter Parker, Happy Hogan & Pepper Potts & James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Happy Hogan & Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Aunt May Parker & Tony Stark, Aunt May Parker & Peter Parker & Tony Stark Additional Tags: Christmas, Christmas Party, Party, Alcohol, Drinking & Talking, Drunk Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Parent Tony Stark, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, Happy Hogan & Tony Stark Friendship, Happy Hogan is So Done, Happy Hogan Needs a Raise, BAMF Pepper Potts, Pepper Potts Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Parent Pepper Potts, Awesome Pepper Potts, Precious Peter Parker, Teen Peter Parker, Father-Son Relationship, Mother-Son Relationship, Original Character(s), Minor Original Character(s), Peter Parker is a Ray of Sunshine, Peter Parker is a Star Wars Fan, Mentioned Peter Parker, Peter Parker Loves Tony Stark, Tony Stark Loves Peter Parker, Google docs is my beta we die like men read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/59288833

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What's a few bucks when you're trying to change the world, right?

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Halloween AU!!!

hey so. i put SOOOOO much effort into this au and for what? at least it ended up looking cool? anyways Halloween is my favorite holiday and i just HAD to make something for them!

i had a LOT of ideas for what everyone would be, but i really wanted to stick to a certain theme cause it's based around Halloween. i knew i had to have a vampire, werewolf, and a witch. cause like... obviously. iconic Halloween stuff!! but i took some liberties with everyone else and i think they turned out pretty cool!!

Jason was originally a fox shifter (which i still love and might draw art for some day) but i went with a bear in the end. is that because i thought about tiny bear cub Jaybin and wanted to cry? yeah. yeah it is. i KNEW Steph was going to be my werewolf though i started doubting myself when i went to draw her. turned out to be my favorite drawing on here which makes sense cause she is my light my love my daughter my will to live and all that jazz

Tim was actually gonna be a harpy but thank god i didn't go for that in the end. Duke was the one that was a bitch and a half trying to figure out BUT!! comments on the post asking what y'all thought led me towards Psychic so THANK YOUUUU everybody that commented!! (specifically those who thought of ghost!! Duke and Tim ended up being a perfect duo in this au)

Babs was pretty easy to figure out what I wanted for her. I read somewhere that they are seen as protectors of forests/ are considered spiritual authority figures and also.... she looks cool as fuck. Did not expect how easy it was to find a ref for a deer in a wheelchair though? I can never find the right hand or face angle reference but that was super easy???

For Bruce there was literally no question he HAD to be human. it's literally so funny that everyone who knows Batman thinks he's a spooky vampire but he's human. his first son, however?????? THAT'S the vampire. I knew Dick had to be a vampire too. A little nod towards that one comic run but in my au nothing bad happens ever 🥰 Damian also being a bat shifter is very on purpose because how funny is it that he's a bat man. Literally not a single person in the League thinks that Bruce is telling the truth about being human. Bruce you are NOT beating the secretly a vampire allegations.

adding in Jay's hilarious joke it's so fucking funny:

Alfred is actually a demon. I CAN NOT remember who made this post so if someone can help me find it, it would be appreciated!! because this was inspired by them!!! but somewhere i saw someone talk about Alfred being a demon that Thomas and Martha made a deal with (i think it was for an au idea?) and I just HAD to put it here. Alfred looks so human and everyone expects it, but he's definitely not. I put the ??? because it's so fucking funny. see if you can spot the 1 hint i put on his drawing that something is amiss!!

Peter is from an alternate dimension still, but it is not a world of creatures like him, it's just the same as LoF canon except Peter grew some extra limbs and eyes. He finds that it's actually pretty easy to fit in with the Waynes. Hard to feel like a freak when a guy can turn into a fucking bear, or your dad is a vampire, and the teenagers in the family are trying to summon ghosts or make potions.

additional doodles for this au:

i am still debating whether i am going to draw something for this au or write a oneshot, but i DO want to do something with these for Halloween

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Random assortment of cartoonier spideys

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-Recording begins-

Spider-Man: Hi folks! I’d like to give a PSA to my usual villains, and anyone else with ideas for the next two months.

Spider-Man: *holds up a brick sized lump of metal* See this? It’s titanium!

Spider-Man: *starts flattening it out and shaping it*

Spider-Man: See, we all know that I’m crazy strong, but I never wanna really hurt anybody right? Right. While that hasn’t changed, something very important does right around this time of year.

Spider-Man: *pulls off a glove and pulls a chunk into a long stem with his nails carving lines for added texture*

Spider-Man: See, this is what we like to call exam season. Anybody who knows anything about college can tell you that it drives people up the wall, and I already climb mine when I’m antsy.

Spider-Man: *starts winding the thin sheet around the stem, delicately crimping petals in place*

Spider-Man: I do wanna be clear that this isn’t a threat, okay? I’m still not interested in crossing the line, which brings me to my point.

Spider-Man: *throws the titanium rose at the brick wall behind him, stem first, and embeds it all the way through*

Spider-Man: /That/ was restrained because I could focus enough to have full control. If I’m extremely tired or otherwise distracted, there’s just as much risk of me slipping up as someone operating heavy machinery. I’m probably not going to remember what sleep is for two whole months, so remember!

Spider-Man: *pulls out a brick and snaps it like a cookie*

Peter fucking Parker: Don’t.

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-Recording begins-

Spider-Man: Hi folks! I’d like to give a PSA to my usual villains, and anyone else with ideas for the next two months.

Spider-Man: *holds up a brick sized lump of metal* See this? It’s titanium!

Spider-Man: *starts flattening it out and shaping it*

Spider-Man: See, we all know that I’m crazy strong, but I never wanna really hurt anybody right? Right. While that hasn’t changed, something very important does right around this time of year.

Spider-Man: *pulls off a glove and pulls a chunk into a long stem with his nails carving lines for added texture*

Spider-Man: See, this is what we like to call exam season. Anybody who knows anything about college can tell you that it drives people up the wall, and I already climb mine when I’m antsy.

Spider-Man: *starts winding the thin sheet around the stem, delicately crimping petals in place*

Spider-Man: I do wanna be clear that this isn’t a threat, okay? I’m still not interested in crossing the line, which brings me to my point.

Spider-Man: *throws the titanium rose at the brick wall behind him, stem first, and embeds it all the way through*

Spider-Man: /That/ was restrained because I could focus enough to have full control. If I’m extremely tired or otherwise distracted, there’s just as much risk of me slipping up as someone operating heavy machinery. I’m probably not going to remember what sleep is for two whole months, so remember!

Spider-Man: *pulls out a brick and snaps it like a cookie*

Peter fucking Parker: Don’t.

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spideypool but it's a comedy of errors

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alright so during into the spider-verse's introduction to peter b. parker, we see his wedding, and he stomps on the wine glass right? this is a jewish wedding tradition, which makes this version of peter parker jewish (further confirmed in interviews -- however, i believe this is enough by itself). it's a nice nod to the jewish roots of the character.

we get to see a bunch of peter parkers throughout the spider-verse films, and none of them have any explicit religious associations like peter b. parker. except for one!

here we have gwen stacy's peter parker and aunt may, from earth-65, saying grace over a meal. from my understanding, this is generally a christian practice -- in judaism, we prefer to say short prayers before eating, and save the long, in-depth ones for afterwards. so to me, this was a clear example of the character being coded as christian. i was a little disappointed that they didn't make peter parker jewish here too, but since across the spider-verse discusses variants and the differences between instances of the same person between different universes, i interpreted this as a continued commentary on peter parker's ethnicity -- although he was initially jewish-coded and one of his two creators, stan lee, is jewish, this is often erased, especially in more modern interpretations of the character.

and then i remembered that this peter parker also literally turns into the lizard.

and y'know what? good call on that one guys.

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Remember that moment in ITSV, when Miles first meets his world's Spider-Man and their spider senses do the thing?

The background behind Peter is as we'd expect; the classic red and blue.

But at first Miles' background is green and purple, two colors he's never associated with at all throughout the movie. As the moment goes on, it shifts to match Peter's.

We are literally watching Miles' fate change and the anomaly happen.

It's well established that the spider that bit him was not supposed to even be in that universe, meaning our Miles was supposed to be something else before it happened.

This isn't true for ITSV, but in every other version of Spider-Man, the main color scheme for the Prowler is green and purple.

Our Miles was supposed to become the next Prowler in his world. And the only reason he's not, is because of the original Prowler. Miles switched his fate with Earth-42 Miles.

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okay so everyone’s making “steve rogers freaks out the media with his rampant progressivism” posts but

imagine bruce banner

bruce banner, who has lived in poverty, who has been an undocumented worker, who has seen what happens in sweatshops in india and greenhouses in colombia, fighting to dismantle capitalism and take down the exploitive conditions that come with it

bruce banner, who isn’t doing anything with the massive salary tony pays him for “R&D work” (actually just him and tony in the lab but, hey, tony likes giving people stuff even if they don’t particularly want or need it) so he spends it all on a fund for abused children and personally hires lawyers and therapists for them because maybe he can’t have kids of his own but he can make damn sure that no one goes through what he went through

bruce banner, who fights against climate change and fracking and tapping national parks for resources, and tony ends up making a whole campaign around it called “go green with hulk” which bruce gets very annoyed by but “it tested well with focus groups, jolly green” so it goes through anyway and becomes massively popular

bruce going a little green around the pupils if someone so much as breathes the word “autism” and “vaccine” in the same sentence (and more than a little green if they insinuate that having an autistic child is a bad thing)

bruce fighting for universal health care

bruce working to destigmatize mental illness

bruce hulking out on the set of fox & friends (which predictably becomes a meme)

bruce. fucking. banner.

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Okay okay but no one believes Peter is in a relationship. Sure people know he changed his Facebook status a few months back. But no one else was connected to it.

" My boyfriend doesn't have a facebook "

So yeah a lot of his college classmates think that he is lying about it. Sure some of them could admit that Peter was cute adorable even but they just can't picture this nerd who wore big sweaters, baggy clothes and sweatshirt to have any game.

Then, the day someone mixed some chemicals wrong during their lab day. Beakers exploded. Splashing stuff everywhere. Classmates quickly having to strip jackets and shirts off before the chemicals soak in and burn the skin.

" Oh shit Parker "

People turn to look at Peter, who has a bright blush spreading. His neck and chest and abs( yes, he had a small 6pack who knew!) It was covered in hickey's and bite marks.

They were even more surprised when the mysterious boyfriend actually shows up with a change of clothes.

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Johnny is often irritated by Sue's tutelage. My headcanon is that he doesn't realize how much he himself is like his sister when he includes worrying about Peter

Based on this reference

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Johnny: *does something stupid*

Matt, leaning over to Peter: Are you absolutely sure you want this one? We can get you a better one.

Peter, sighing in disappointment: No, I want this one.

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Johnny Storm (celebrity with years of media experience and a number of scandals with a massive PR team) and Peter Parker (extremely bitchy broke photographer from queens with no media training) are hopelessly and disastrously in love and it is unfortunately everyone’s problem

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Peter's skin being sensitive after the spider bite. He hates the feel of the towel as he dries off after a shower.

He knows its no ones fault, but can't really afford the towels that don't irritate his skin. So he got used to air drying. Only using the towel for the hair on the top of his head and just relaxes on his bed or at his desk naked the rest of the time.

If he was in a real hurry then he would just rush quickly with a towel before getting dressed.

He got used to being on his own and walking around naked til he dried off.

Sometimes he just forgets he doesn't live alone anymore.

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spectacular spider-man (1976) #103