shaifelt

[shaifelt]

dear shai,

you are realizing that the further you ignore your dream, the further you invite chaos.

the uni will push us to the point of creation, of self realization.

sometimes that aligns with chaos

you want to avoid chaos

don’t avoid your dreams

write

pray

write some more

[shaifelt]

dear shai,

this is the day you decide to fight the feelings and get up and reclaim your power. it’s time to recall who you are and live in the light you wish to be revered in.

gosh doesn’t it feel good just to pick up your phone and type- when it felt like hell to even try

we can do this

[shaifelt]

[shaifelt]

dear shai,

it is okay to take off the mask and leave her behind in the dust. all of them. let them go

you have moved with the waves so long, gripping and mutating to whichever sea life encountered. there is great value in being your authentic self, whoever and wherever that may connect you with. your energy is so ethereal and vibrant,

how could you forget this?

shed off the layers screaming for approval, moving as a chameleon when your soul is a hummingbird, free and full of fabulousness!

we adore you because we see you,

give others an opportunity to see you too.

[shaifelt]

dear shai,

you have not been so simultaneously

controlling and out-of-control before.

remember to experiment with new ideas,

rather than be married to a harmful concept such as needing to control environments, people, and circumstances. your children will blossom exactly within their destinies and you can trust your peers enough to respect you and respect themselves through their intentions, through their actions.

trust yourself to make the right choices,

do this through your meditations and breathing when you feel the urge to direct a narrative.

recall what Nitty said to Mont in Last Black Man in SF.. “Bro, you’re not a director bro”

what you can direct, ARE YOUR NRG & FUNDS

look we want you to splurge and feel good but NOT DAILY, reserve for better days and this goes for your time too.. reserve your free time for real rest and relaxation. reserve work time for that.

half-assing never got anyone their full ass dream dreaming, manifesting through action and intention did honeycake!

[shaifelt]

dear shai,

your soul aches with yearning to distrust and it harmonizes in a solemn ballad with your mind and her past perceptions.

can you not pull yourself away from this moment? for just one moment?

to see the matters and others as they are.

as they truly are for better or for worse..

without the dangerous corners of your mind spewing mindless shit out, bitten off from others’ experiences and cinematic scenarios..

within the realities of your worlds, joined together, with endless potential under its roots; dna shared in seeds and now sowing parts of you..

will you act on your desires and abandon your fears, set them to rest, eliminate the faith in the worst and see better in the vision of your lives/life

or will you prevail to the suffering of a possibility, one that strikes no validity, no tangible pieces.

wasting away your dreams and letting it slip away, allowing all casualties to experience it as they sit on their hands and try their best.. begging you for bravery.

you will do the first, you will do your best!

you will let go of fears and act on your faith

[shaifelt]

dear shai,

you’re so frustrated because you understand you deserve more, so make it happen for yourself.

you’re so frustrated because you aren’t looking with your heart but with broken eyes, receptors of beauty that have been washed and mangled.

you do not see yourself for who you are but as who you could be, if you continue this, you will never be satisfied seeking a perfection that’s absent on the face of this earth.

instead seek uniqueness

love your individuality

flaunt your flaws

work on what you feel needs change for the betterment of your life but only for yourself

be gentle and see yourself for more than flaws

right now it’s not easy but you will find solace in time.

[shaifelt]

dear shai,

stop the thinking of “must do this or they will think that”.

it is time to consider your best interests as well.

right now you are feeling exhausted.

a nonstop chase of approval, for love.

it is undeniable, the life that lives within you

recognize its will and reciprocate its intentions.

you must rest and consider more than this.

think beyond your experiences and witness

step off the stage into the audience and feel the beat of your reality.

once you’re ready to move from director to main character/hero, it will flow to you so organically

i love you and i love you rested and present

i love you sad and distressed i love you irate

i love you eating sleeping talking singing

i love you procrastinating

i love you productive

i love you as you,

so get to know her too.

[shaifelt]

dear shai,

i feel you will grow into the next Tyler Perry, in the sense of a consistent and engaging career, but designed at conscious individuals who seek out the connections and unfolding of POCs lives -

so pretty much most of everyone.

i say this because your ideas are very unique and interesting, they tend to flow out of you and onto that pinned red ink written, yellow post-it stack on your cork board.

each patiently awaiting the day one project ends for it to realize into script, into staged visuals.

do not let them rest, get your rest and prioritize peace within your life so that you can work on them without the endless distractions of your overworked mind.

work heart-er, not harder

work smarter, not smaller

[shaifelt]

dear shai,

today was a tough one for you.

you’ve unraveled at each seam of your being

tomorrow will be a better one.

hemmed back together again it will seem

thank you for sticking it through.

[shaifelt]

dear shai,

you rest with your head against his forearm

resting in his chair

you breathe in his charm

you exhale more than air,

releasing any fears

you breathe in

(bliss)

ringing in your ears

you exhale

(impermanence)

a tone of new love

you thank him

you’re present

[shaifelt]

dear shai,

this could be us but you procrastinating

write my love, your heart and future desire the commitment

[shaifelt]

dear shai,

cook more &

eat less junk.

[shaifelt]

dear shai,

you tend to do this thing.

you get super excited and attached to a concept, especially with work, then you find some more in yourself and more in your world and lose interest.

listen here, stay grounded within the journey.

there’s something to be said for loyalty and right now your job is helping to pave a path for your dream. you do want to unfold as a successful playwright and eventual filmmaker, correct?

then please remember every moment of -

frustration, peace, confusion, clarity, distaste, pleasure, anxiety, or even rest, especially rest,

count towards the larger picture.

make them count.

[shaifelt]

dear shai,

you lay on your back with the sun beaming in through the windows.

an attempt at rest, at an eight minute power nap. this fly keeps buzzing around you and you’re like the heck, “fly go away; my head is killing me.”

getting all tense you expect for him to lay on your skin or at least buzz up all intimately in your ear.

you clench and remember

you remember that getting all tense only makes things worse. yes you are prepared but you’re also expectant of something that may never realize itself into existence.

you unclench and release

you lay on your back, with the sun beaming through the windows.

watching a sweet little fly buzz around a new room it’s never experienced before.

how lucky i am to share this moment, intimately, with another creature..

one that never got close enough to touch me.

breathing out, i smile.