shahaddhlan1

[shahaddhlan1]

"About some dreams that faded!!"

From the peak of strength to the depths of despair. I once built bodies, now I search for shelter… but my spirit still fights. !!

My name is Shahad Dahlan, I am thirty years old, married to the kindest and most beautiful person in the world, my love “Hassan”, and on the twenty-third of next November we will have spent the most beautiful ten years together, full of love, loyalty and sacrifice. I will say that we “used to” live in our small house in a small village called Al-Qarara. This area is located between the city of Khan Yunis and Deir al-Balah, in the middle opposite what is known as the cursed Kissufim checkpoint. But now we are trying to stand firm between its destroyed walls and the surrounding rubble, but it’s okay, we are still alive and there is still hope.

My husband and I had a beautiful love story. We loved each other sincerely, and that always gave me a sense of comfort and security. Finding the right partner for your life is a rare and precious thing. We’re close in age he’s 34, and I’m only a few years younger.

We don’t have children yet, but there’s a story I find strange that happened precisely around this time last year. I’ll share it later, as it deserves its own story.

Despite our differences in some hobbies, we were very compatible. Even those around us said we looked alike! Haha.

I’m a naturally moody and energetic person, and I love life in all its details. What captivated me most was the morning; I loved it in all seasons. I loved waking up to the sound of birdsong and contemplating the sky when it was blue, dotted with piles of white clouds that looked like pieces of cotton. It made me feel like my day would be full of energy, full of the beautiful things I love, and full of life.

I had a great time, reading, singing sometimes, and playing my simple guitar, which I’d learned to play on YouTube. I wasn’t a professional, but I enjoyed it when I was bored. I also always listened to music, and I loved it loud and clear! I loved pop music, and I had a complete sound system in every corner of the living room. Music, for me, wasn’t just a hobby; it was essential, as if it ran through my blood! Like something administered intravenously! Hahaha.

I spent most of my day alone, which wasn’t a bad thing at all; I saw it as a valuable time to myself. My husband worked in interior design and decoration, which he had always been creative at. I don’t deny his amazing talent.

He would go out every day from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.

As for me, six years earlier, I had finished my university studies in physical education and sports. My plan that kept coming to mind after university was to go to Egypt and pursue postgraduate studies, perhaps even a PhD in physical education. You never know, maybe I would have achieved something big in the future.

After completing university, as you know, employment opportunities in Gaza are extremely scarce, but I didn’t sit idly by.

I participated in numerous courses in my field, such as gymnastics and karate. I hated only one thing: swimming, to the point that I failed the swimming subject twice. I would pass the theoretical part and fail the practical part, Lol.

I joined various teams: baseball and volleyball. A group of my classmates and I were nominated to the Sports Academy and the Palestinian Volleyball Federation to referee volleyball after participating in specialized refereeing courses. We participated in events and matches held at the school and university levels.

I worked part-time in several clubs and gyms, and I was also employed on a monthly contract within UNRWA programs at children’s summer camps. I also received numerous certificates, awards, medals, and shields.

You may be surprised when I tell you that I worked in a field completely different from my specialty “three years before the war.” I was hired to write content, edit, and publish. Yes, although this wasn’t my specialty, I enrolled in several writing and freelance courses and passed the job test and interview. I knew I had a talent for writing content and expressing myself.

When I received the email informing me that I had been accepted for the job, I felt as if I owned the whole world! It was a precious and unforgettable moment. I worked in this field for more than two years, rotating between writing scientific content, international news, and sports, in addition to editing. I then obtained proofreading and publishing licenses. I felt as if I was advancing step by step, as if I was being promoted!

Although my work was partly in the office, I completed it from home, sitting for hours in front of my personal computer. I never felt bored. I would put on my headphones, turn up the music, and start writing. For me, there is no accomplishment without music. That’s who I am.

This was my favorite job, and the last one I had before the war. I will never forget the office where I worked, or rather belonged to. It was called “palteam.” I had a wonderful time there, learned a lot, and enjoyed the company of my colleagues. It was an enriching job in every sense of the word, in addition to providing me with a good income.

But the war came and changed everything. That world became a thing of the past, perhaps even impossible.

I don’t know, my friend…

Yes, I had many hobbies that I wished to pursue freely, and dreams that I was waiting for to come true, or at least to be fulfilled. But Gaza wasn’t the most suitable place for them. I don’t know if it was the occupation that tries to rob us of even the air we breathe, or the restrictions imposed by customs, traditions, and religion.

I won’t hide the truth: I don’t abide by these restrictions much, especially when it comes to my life and hobbies. I’ve always given myself the right to live as I please, to experience life as I see it, especially since I’m still in the prime of my youth.

I love skating. I learned it from a young age. My mother made sure to provide me and my brother, who is a year younger than me, with skates. It’s been our favorite sport since we were little. I usually love all kinds of sports, anything that involves movement and excitement. Even my mind is full of thoughts. That’s why I think I might suffer from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) in some way! I love cycling and have participated in many races here in Gaza. They used to organize an annual youth marathon, along with many other events recently, all held on Rashid Street in the port area.

There were a large number of young men and women participating together… We had begun to live, breathe, and dream.

But it seems the occupier doesn’t even want us to breathe. 💔

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters , ( #502 ) & @bilal-salah0

GAZA 🇵🇸🍉🌿

[shahaddhlan1]

It's our last meal of flour.🥺

I'll let you imagine what's next 😑💔

Hey everyone..

This is my message to the world:

I'm Hassan 34y from Gaza and my lovely wife Shahad 30y. @shahaddahlan0

Father of a child my wife is conceived in the war after waiting 9 years

I have a small family, and they are all I have and all that matters to me in this fake world.❤️‍🩹

I don't like begging, and I cannot imagine ever doing so if the war had not forced me to do so.💔

If you would like to donate to us in order to secure another flour that will last until the end of the month, please do not hesitate.

or share my message, here is the link.☮️🙏🏻���🏻

✅️VETTED by @gazavetters ✅️ (#502) & @bilal-salah0

Me & My lovely wife @shahaddahlan0

GAZA 🇵🇸🍉🌿

[shahaddhlan1]

Marisol Muro, Kitties recharging with the Moon

[shahaddhlan1]

Yesterday I was in Dair Al Balah...

In the same place that was targeted today!

In the same corner that was turned to ash.

I passed by,

I walked along the same road...

I looked up at the same sky that a rocket had split today,

as if life was waving goodbye to me, and I didn't notice.

Can you imagine that?

To be in the embrace of death,

to leave it by chance?

Then, hours later, you stand watching the same place

as it has turned gray...

to a mass grave?

Yesterday I was there...

And today my heart is still stuck among the rubble,

My soul is torn between those who have departed

and this body that is still alive...

against its will.

How difficult it is to feel that death was closer to you than your own breath,

and how cruel it is to remain alive...

You ask: Why me?

Why did I survive?

I wish I had...

I wish I had left this world,

the fake world...

the world where staying has become more painful than leaving.

You know..

Don't ask me to explain, don't demand that I narrate,

for some pain cannot be told, but is cried over in silence.

Salam 😑

Momentary words I named it:

"Here I am, but where find myself!?"

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters , ( #502 ) & @bilal-salah0

GAZA🇵🇸🍉🌿

[shahaddhlan1]

UPDATE..

I wonder if I have to be a mother for you to feel my pain?

Five days have passed...

And I'm counting the silence. No one asks, no one extends a hand.

As if losing my only child means nothing...

As if the death of the dream inside me doesn't deserve attention.

Do I have to be a mother carrying a living child to deserve help?

Do you have to touch the wound with your eyes to believe I'm bleeding?

I, Shahad Dahlan, a woman from Gaza,

displaced, my home destroyed, my warm embrace lost.

I miraculously became pregnant after nine years of waiting,

then I miscarried under bombardment, fear, and hunger...

which made me lose everything.

Today, I'm not asking for charity,

I'm asking for life...

I need urgent medical tests to know what's left of my body.

And my husband, my life partner, needs a simple but urgent operation.

Why are you forcing me to explain my wounds?

Why does pain become a commodity until it's seen?

Help me... before the door to hope closes again.

Note: I am writing to you this very month, these days that remind me of my miracle… my pregnancy that I waited for nine years, without treatment, without hope… then suddenly it happened, amidst the rubble, amidst the war, to be snatched from me by merciless bombing, hunger, fear, and a tear that would not dry.

Shahad.

2. April. 2017 🥺💔👶🏻

Hello the fake world

I'm Shahad 30y from Gaza.

A Mother of a child she waited for 9y for, and the war took him away from me.💔

This is what I would have given my child… warmth, security, and a world worthy of his innocence. I would have told him bedtime stories, sung to him when he cried, and held him in my arms as if I held the entire universe. I would have woven soft dreams for him and built him a future free of fear and hunger.

But war stole him before I saw him, before I heard his first cry, before he felt my love. It snatched him from my womb, from my heart, from my life, mercilessly. They didn't give him a chance to live, and they didn't give me a chance to be a mother.

Now, there's nothing but the emptiness in my womb, the sound of his screams that no one heard, and my hand that reached out to hold him but found nothingness.

This is what I wrote in my Facebook diary eight years ago:

Every word I write is an attempt to save myself from drowning in seas of sadness. Perhaps these letters will ease the pain... even a little.

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #502 )✅️ & @bilal-salah0

GAZA 🇵🇸🍉🌿

[shahaddhlan1]

UPDATE..

I woke up at 6 a.m.

I looked up at my sky, as I do every morning.

I saw the sun's rays gently creeping in as it began to rise.

I didn't see the rubble around me.

It was as if nature was comforting me by hiding the devastation from my eyes and granting me a moment of serenity.

Today, I am... very well,

despite everything.

From Dair Al Balah, Gaza, Palestine. I write to you, a living pulse from among the rubble. 💕

Despite the scarcity of products, we got a box of cappuccino. I celebrated this, Lol 😁✌🏻

Made it for me, my husband and my lovely sis���️@hassanbadrasawi

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #502 )✅️ & @bilal-salah0

GAZA 🇵🇸🍉🌿

[shahaddhlan1]

Alhamdulillah, today we were able to secure and purchase a 25kg bag of flour at a price I cannot tell you 🙃😁✌🏻

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #502 )✅️ & @bilal-salah0

GAZA 🇵🇸🍉🌿

[shahaddhlan1]

Eid Mubarak guys 💓🇵🇸✌🏻

I'm so happy today and I love you All 💓🫂

Don't forget me and my little family with the Eid gift here🎁 👇🏻😁

A small message from my friend Shahad. Please help her and her family

[shahaddhlan1]

2. April. 2017 🥺💔👶🏻

Hello the fake world

I'm Shahad 30y from Gaza.

A Mother of a child she waited for 9y for, and the war took him away from me.💔

This is what I would have given my child… warmth, security, and a world worthy of his innocence. I would have told him bedtime stories, sung to him when he cried, and held him in my arms as if I held the entire universe. I would have woven soft dreams for him and built him a future free of fear and hunger.

But war stole him before I saw him, before I heard his first cry, before he felt my love. It snatched him from my womb, from my heart, from my life, mercilessly. They didn't give him a chance to live, and they didn't give me a chance to be a mother.

Now, there's nothing but the emptiness in my womb, the sound of his screams that no one heard, and my hand that reached out to hold him but found nothingness.

This is what I wrote in my Facebook diary eight years ago:

Every word I write is an attempt to save myself from drowning in seas of sadness. Perhaps these letters will ease the pain... even a little.

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #502 )✅️ & @bilal-salah0

GAZA 🇵🇸🍉🌿

[shahaddhlan1]

UPDATE..

Despite all the pain and cruelty of war, Eid al-Fitr remains a time for joy and glorification of God's rituals.

It is a day when we cling to life and celebrate it regardless of the circumstances, young and old, because joy is a right that war cannot take away from us.

Today, I was filled with indescribable happiness. I was finally able to meet my family after a long absence due to the resumption of war.

My brothers and their young children all came to visit me, despite the difficulty of moving and the scarcity of transportation due to fuel shortages and the constant bombing everywhere.

However, the moment I saw them, I felt that Eid had truly returned to me, and that the warmth of family is irreplaceable. However, I truly, truly miss my father, whom the occupation exiled to the West Bank and prevented us from seeing for more than a year and a half. I miss him greatly.

I also miss my brother Mohammed, who is four years older than me. He has been traveling and living outside Gaza for many years. Due to the harshness of life here, he emigrated and left the country.

One of the moments I will never forget was seeing my nephew, Khaled. I looked at him as if I could see life in his eyes. I took some pictures of him, praying to God to grant me a child like him, one with the same innocence and beautiful soul.

Yes, he is our little Khalid. 👶🏻

That morning, my eye was caught by little Rawida, Named after her grandmother

my husband's niece. She was wearing the beautiful, authentic, and embroidered Palestinian dress, a story of steadfastness.

I approached her, embraced her, and kissed her lovingly, as if I were embracing everything that is beautiful, pure, and chaste in this fake world.

How I love this little girl! She is full of life, gentle as a spring breeze, and her spirit radiates joy despite everything.

Today was a Eid in every sense of the word, not only because it was a day of joy and celebration, but also because it reunited me with the one I love after a long wait.💓

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters ( #502 )✅️ & @bilal-salah0

Our campaign is the only solution for us

Please donate here👇🏻🫂☮️

GAZA 🇵🇸🍉🌿

[shahaddhlan1]

I couldn't help but write a few words about my father on his 62nd birthday.

To My Father on His Birthday...

My beloved father, happy birthday… Another year passes, and you remain the light that never fades in my heart, despite the distance and forced separation.

How painful it is to see your birthday come while you are far away, exiled there in the West Bank, while our hearts remain tethered to you here in Gaza. For the first time in so many years, you are absent on this day, and I can’t find your open arms waiting for an embrace that I have always considered my right in life.

In two days, Eid al-Fitr will arrive, but it won’t feel like a true celebration because you are not with us. I can't imagine Eid without your voice, without your gaze that brings us comfort amidst all this devastation. The occupation has not only stolen our land and our safety but has even taken from you the right to be among your loved ones on a day like this.

I miss you, Dad… I miss our conversations, your presence that makes everything more bearable. But I promise you that I will celebrate you despite the distance, and I will whisper your name in my prayers, hoping that God will soon reunite us without barriers or separation.

Happy birthday to the strength that carries me through, to the father my heart is proud of before my tongue, and to the man who deserves all the love in the world.

Love you Baba 🫂💓

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #502 )✅️ & @bilal-salah0

GAZA 🇵🇸🍉🌿

[shahaddhlan1]

It's the last Apples on the market, thx to the world 🙃 !!

How long will this misery keep chasing us?

We are exhausted, drained by the days until our souls have become nothing but scattered ashes in the wind.

We have shattered from within, like broken glass that can never be pieced back together.

We try to endure, to find a ray of light in this endless darkness, but every road is blocked, every door is sealed.

How long will we remain trapped in this void?

How long must we carry this burden that has far exceeded our strength?

We are weary, and all that remains in our hearts is the ash of dreams that burned before they could be born. 💔😑

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #502 )✅️ & @bilal-salah0

GAZA 🇵🇸🍉🌿

[shahaddhlan1]

I will never say goodbye..🇵🇸🌿

I let my thoughts run wild this morning. I sat before a boundless space, not a galaxy filled with planets and stars, but a pure blue sky, dotted with a pink sun, a flock of birds flying lightly, and trees unlike any other...

These are the kenya trees, dearest to my heart, captivating my eyes, and the only refuge for my weary soul.

Those trees, with their solid trunks rooted in the earth and their branches touching the edges of the sky, seem to embrace the entire universe, embracing the sun when it rises and whispering to the winds on cold nights. As the birds swayed above them, playing with the branches as if singing to them,

I sat there...

Amazed by the beauty of the moment, I listened to the song "Birds of a Feather." I only write when music flows in my blood, pushing me toward the words like the wind pushes the waves toward the shore.

And today, for the first time since the beginning of the war,

I didn't see the rubble!!

I didn't feel its presence, and I didn't pay attention.

It was as if it had evaporated into thin air, or as if nature, in all its glory, had decided to hide it from my sight.

Yes, spring has arrived, and with it has come everything beautiful.

Something like a dream, soft, gentle, as if it were wiping the wounds of the earth with the lightness of the breeze.

But I wonder...

Have I fallen in love with this land again?

Are these the signs of beautiful beginnings?

I hope so, indeed I hope with all my heart...

That this is the beginning of endings, the end of pain, the end of the ache that has clung to us like a shadow that won't leave.

Despite everything that has happened...

Despite the devastation that has befallen everything...

There remains something inside me that still resists, still blooms like a wildflower between the cracks in the walls.

Whenever I try to convince myself to leave, the earth calls out to me, whispering to me like the sound of the wind, seducing me once again.

So I refuse, clinging to it like the deep roots of Kenya. It is unshaken by storms, nor uprooted by wars.

I now realize that I am faced with only two choices: to leave or to stay...

But my heart had already decided a long time ago.

I am truly in love with it, clinging to it to the core.

It is the certain inevitability of love that has never left me alone since my birth.

So how can I say goodbye?

How can I leave it behind?

How dare they force us to leave?!

Brother... I am not a traveler, and my land is not a bag to be carried on shoulders.

I am here, I am staying...

I will never say goodbye.

It's over.

These are the usual fleeting words, I called them...

"I will never say goodbye to this land."

I'm happy to be writing. I've become much better than before thanks to it. I'm here to write my blogs and whatever comes to my mind.

May they leave an impact on you and help spread the word about my fundraising campaign to help my little family and rescue them from the horrors of war.

We need your support here 🫂💜☮️👇🏻

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #502 )✅️ & @bilal-salah0

GAZA 🇵🇸🍉🌿

[shahaddhlan1]

I even wrote down some thoughts today, I'll post them later after I finish translating them into English. 😌😁🤞🏻🇵🇸

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #502 )✅️ & @bilal-salah0

Don't forget to donate here, we still need you the most.🫂☮️👇🏻

GAZA 🇵🇸🍉🌿

[shahaddhlan1]

UPDATE..

By the grace of God and the kindness of your hearts, what we once thought impossible has become a reality. We have finally gathered the needed amount, and even more, allowing us to secure our essential needs for Ramadan.

Thank you to everyone who stood by us in our hardship, to those who gave us hope when despair was closing in. Without your generosity, we wouldn’t have found the means to sustain ourselves, nor felt that we are not alone in this crisis.

You are the light that brightened our darkness, the gentle hands that held us when we were about to fall. From the depths of our hearts, thank you to everyone who made us feel safe again.

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #502 )✅️& @bilal-salah0

You can collect donations here.👇🏻☮️💜

GAZA 🇵🇸🍉🌿

[shahaddhlan1]

I'm here, guy's don't worry There was an internet outage, but it's been fixed. I'm here again

Wire sick 😁✌🏻

Pal - Gaza 9:29 p.m.

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #502 )✅️ & @bilal-salah0

[shahaddhlan1]

The last explosion happened 23 minutes ago, 100 meters away from me.

I'm here guys I'm still alive !! 🙃

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #502 )✅️ & @bilal-salah0