shadow-chan81

[shadow-chan81]

Shikaku: Where are you going at six in the morning?

Shikamaru: Remember last night when you told me about how your father died of an infected deer bite?

Shikaku: Yeah but-

Shikamaru: So I'm gonna go to the forest, to square up on one to show Grandpa still got shooters in theses streets.

Shikaku: ..... Be back in time for breakfast I'm making waffles

[shadow-chan81]

Yoshino: Hey babe your hot bread is done

Shikaku: Stop calling it that it's toast

Yoshino: "Toast" would imply that it's been in the toaster for more than ten seconds

Shikaku: Shikamaru tell your mom to stop making fun of me for how lightly I like my toast done

Shikamaru: I'm not getting in the middle of this

[shadow-chan81]

Rock Lee: The first person to ever eat a coconut must have experienced such a ravenous hunger that we today are lucky to never know

Tenten: Or just curious

[shadow-chan81]

Choij: You guys ever think about the fact we're all pretty much legally required to get married?

Ino: We're also legally required to have kids

Shikamar: Damn clan laws are really concerned about us getting laid

[shadow-chan81]

Ino: How loyal are you?

Hinata: Can't look at another guy. Don't wanna cheat on my crush

[shadow-chan81]

Kankuro: I'm doing a complete 360

Gaara: Don't you mean 180?

Kankuro: Nope I'm back on my bullshit

[shadow-chan81]

Shikaku: Does anyone else have that moment where your kid is just the cutest and most precious thing on earth and you have to physically restrain yourself from hugging and cuddling the life out of them or is that just me?

Inoichi: Nah I feel you that maternal instinct hits you hard and fast

[shadow-chan81]

Yoshino: Hey Shika?

Shikaku: Yes?

Shikamaru: Yeah?

Yoshino: ..........

Shikaku: .... Honey?

Shikamaru: ..... Mom?

Yoshino: I'm sorry I honestly don't remember which one of you I was calling

[shadow-chan81]

Shino: Yeah I really don't understand why collars are such a turn on for you

Kiba: Oh says the only person I know who masturbates to royalty free spa music

Hinata: Can you guys not have this conversation in a Burger King?

[shadow-chan81]

Kakashi: You know I like my men how I like my coffee

Tenzou: Haha yeah

Kakashi: First thing in the morning and covered in whipped cream

Tenzou: Okay wow

[shadow-chan81]

Temari: What would you do if you went to a party and all they played was fireflies by Owl city?

Gaara: Act a fool

Kankuro: The planet Earth may turn slowly but this ass don't

[shadow-chan81]

Temari: *Calling Shikamaru* Hey do you have 30 minutes to listen to me rant about something?

Shikamaru: *Stuck in a window* Yeah I'm not busy

Temari: Well I just thinking about how we live in a society where we are all pretty much just tools of the government and that we're all gonna die with regrets of what our lives could have been

Shikamaru: Wow that's really insightful I never thought of it like-

Shikaku: *Trying to pull him out* Are you on the phone?!

[shadow-chan81]

Shikamaru: Dad where do babies come from?

Shikaku: A stork

Shikamaru: That doesn't make sense

Shikaku: It's a magic stork

Shikamaru: That still doesn't make sense

Shikaku: Okay fine I fucked your mom

Shikamaru: Yeah actually I think the magic stork was more believable than mom letting you hit it

[shadow-chan81]

Shikamaru: Also do I have to have three kids or is two good enough?

Shikaku: I'm sorry did I fucking stutter?

Shikaku: *To the deer* What a bunch very precious babies I will protect you with my life, I love you all so much.

Shikaku: *To Shikamaru* If you don't clean this entire house in the next five minutes so help me God I will ground you until you are married with three kids

[shadow-chan81]

Congratulations on 300 followers!

I reached 300 a little while ago and wanted to do something to celebrate and show my gratitude, so I decided to do a nice big follow forever! There used to be a lot of these around back when I first got a tumblr, we’d all used to make one every week or every month or so, and I haven’t seen one in forever but I still think they’re such a nice idea so here we are!

I wanted to say a bit BIG thank you to everyone who follows this blog and supports my journey as an artist and interacts and reblogs and appreciates the art that I post, I really love the community that’s forming here! And so this ff is my humble little way to give back by offering a LONG list of absolutely amazing amazing and hugely inspiring blogs to follow/spread the love to. A lot of these are not mutuals, a LOT of these are professional artists (who hopefully don’t mind the tag), and all of them inspire me so much and serve as a reminder of what my goals are and the amazing things that can be accomplished with art, so I wanted to share them! Thank you to everyone who follows me for following, and thank you to everyone on this ff for posting and existing and being so hugely inspiring!

From multiple fandoms and in multiple formats and in no particular order (and I’m sure that I forgot people too):

@andythelemon @shammikorn @mayleeillustration @kokodrawings @knifeears @kathrenax @l1p3k4 @gaydadkakashi @maidcafehashirama @vita-divata @diakoh @jeananasartblog @tsneemart @tangerinegod @hexadonis @thatpinkshinobi @ree-duh @poorly-drawn-everything @pitypagn @raizagabriel @temunade @chasefoxart @cherriielle @viktormaru @inimeitiel @ramoneblog @eggramenart @hexlar @uchihanarutos @ieafy @rockly @gelatomoon @curs3dcont3nt @yourdesertsunflower @lemonpurins @ylwoe @nobodyanybody0 @lackadaisycal-art @kacockshi @bootlegwhale @vampireapologist @noodlemanjpg @dotsz @kier-t @sloaners @dragonzair @meruz @naruting @tamberella @talknojutzu @mizunoir @narutwitter @rhymewithrachel @asotin @johannathemad @shikakunaras @alisonzai @sillybro @conalola @hidingmai @littlelarrystar @libbyframe @spidertams @toko-t @gjdraws @hallous @dianaii @nardo-pls @spicymochi @natbrooks-art @azuzeldraws @rebuildingkonohaonceagain @beeperart @zestivivi @taratjah @puffychi @colorsbyaqua @ajtuana @kurapikalovebot @evilsyd @yuki-kawatsu @temarihime @piplupcola @shrylia @anineillustration @a-ard @k-eke @depressedkakashihatake @shadow-chan81 @raccooncomic @hokage @snakeleggies @sergle @windbison @yaelzyy @hidanyugakure @oxenfire @tammi25 @chiuart @nardss @thatswingfromnaruto @kakashishomegirl @narutoclouds @kosmonauttihai @vroomgogh @i-drive-a-nii-san @sushi-comet @lasersight @comradekatara @sasukes-grass-fed-dick @vanitasaquias @atlaculture @temarinist @hatakes10 @earthbendz @alart @sailor-moon-rei @kataang @nativeobito @the-umino-hours @pegdraws @sapphireamethystvsco @pikaole @weirdlandtv @incorrectzukka @arctic-selkie @vanessagillings @mayakern @ayuuchann @linning-04 @choodraws @mokutone @lqsns @hmcbook @juliettecousin @thatfoolsophie @frogitivity @daekiidoodles @morningsaidthemoon @ieyasus @vickisigh @jinchuuriki @cellophane @youth-no-jutsu @ravysu @mikamielo @mangekyhoes @littlestpersimmon @juubiobito @frescomayor @mayapng @mmcoconut @maerynarts @hotgirluchiha @hatakewife @babypears @mohtz @haunt-i-ng @narootos @punziella @sensels @fluffeine @pikarar @courtdraws @quilfish-swan @pakchoys @thespookymoth

[shadow-chan81]

Shikamaru: Yo dad come smell my hand

Shikaku: *Holds his hand to his face and inhales deeply*

Shikaku: New moisturizer?

Shikamaru: Yup

Shikaku: Cucumber mint scented?

Shikamaru: You know it

Shikaku: Very nice

[shadow-chan81]

Shikaku: Okay we're just gonna have a nice calm game of shogi. No yelling, no screaming, no cursing, no throwing anything, just some good family bonding time. Okay?

Shikamaru: Okay. Sounds good

*Ten minutes later*

Shikamaru: *Running away* I'M NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN DAD!

Shikaku: GO AHEAD! YOU WON'T LAST TWO SECONDS ON THESE STREETS!