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"Do I look like him?"

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I think my favorite house MD fandom joke is when people type out Chases dialogue in the most horrible phonetic australian accent possible. Example:

Chase: Naur, we carnt geeve the pahtient tha mehdicine drahg

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Everybody stop what you’re doing RIGHT NOW and celebrate the last Out of Touch Thursday of 2020

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*laughs*

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The justice league sees Batman periodically updating a database of his, at the oddest of times, and naturally they think it's got something to do with his contingency plans or a dataset about the Gotham rogues, but in reality it's just him keeping record of his many children's changing tastes

Superman: Woah, he's writing down with such concentration, wonder what could be in there, maybe a new villain in Gotham?

Bruce, writing: "Dick has refused his favourite Pb&J five mornings in a row. Delete from favourites. Ask for new favourite food."

"Jason didn't seem as Eager to read the new book by his favourite author, put it in neutral category."

"Tim chose a green shirt instead of a red one at the mall today. More research needed."

"Cass listened to arctic monkeys on repeat this week. Update to favourites."

"Duke expressed an interest in slam poetry and called band practice lame. Put poetry in favourites and band in neutral."

"Damian watched Bluey for a total of 50 hours this week. Update to favourites."

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When the League meets Baby Robin(Dick), they are genuinely surprised, as it seems impossible that Batman is raising this little ray of sunshine who appeared from between his cape and then proceeded to greet them with the brightest smile they've all ever seen, completely adoring Superman, saying how great Wonder Woman is, and actually laughing at Barry's jokes.

Bruce takes care of his work, but occasionally stops to, in fact, help Robin who is trying to do his English homework. The other members also help out, of course.

So, Hal arrives at the Watchtower, and Robin, seeing the man his dad mentor has been so grumpy about because of the last meeting they had (Hal doesn't understand that Batman is the best at his job and is the one giving directions for a reason, duh!), decides he will exact revenge.

He carries on a normal conversation with the man just as he did with everyone else, subtly leading the topic until Hal falls into the trap:

Hal: What about your mom? I can't imagine anyone putting up with the old bat.

He speaks with all mockery, but then his smile freezes when he sees the tremor in the little boy's shoulders.

Dick: *shuddering and holding back a little sob* my mummy died in front of me a few months ago.... I...

Hal is pale now, because the child actually sobs, and runs off to hide in the cape of Batman, who was now standing, ready to stitch up his child.

He's not the only one, Superman and the others are already there too, looking at him angrily because he made the little bean cry.

Hal is in a panic.

And if he sees how the boy smiles at him when no one is looking, sticking his tongue out at him while moving his lips to send him the message "Don't bother my dad", no one would ever believe him, not while the little boy is now clinging to Batman tightly as he slowly blinks away tears that not even the best actors could ever pull off.

Only Hal knows the devil behind that angel face.

Batman knows it too, but he adores his precious little demon.

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Absolutely nobody gets how much Dan Mora's design of robin!Dick Grayson means to me.

Like–???

This saved my life.

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*struggles while writing* i suck and writing is hard

*remembers some ppl use ai* i am a creative force. i am uncorrupted by theft and indolence. i am on a journey to excellence. it is my duty to keep taking joy in creating.

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Dick walks through the manor door holding some groceries and finds that Tim and Jason are watching something in the living room.

Jason: Dickie come see this I’m on TV!

Dick (setting down the grocery bags): What did you do this time?

Tim: Nothing, believe it or not. They made a buzz feed unsolved about Jason’s death.

Dick: Oh really, who do they think did it? Bruce? Alfred?

Jason: You Dick face.

Dick (laughing): Me? That’s a new one.

Tim: They have some pretty compelling evidence.

Jason: Yeah you disappeared from the public eye, shortly there after Bruce “replaced” you with a young orphan. Then you started showing up more until I mysteriously disappeared. Then you didn’t show up to the funeral.

Tim: They are saying you killed him in a jealous rage, then Bruce covered it up to protect yourself and his reputation.

Jason: I’m convinced.

Dick (sitting on the back of the couch stealing Tim’s popcorn): I am too. Maybe I am the killer.

Tim: See I believe the conspiracy that Jason just didn’t want to be in the limelight anymore so he faked his death.

Jason: What about the one where I was an actor the whole time, and they “killed me off” after Bruce no longer needed the PR.

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happy holidays!!

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There are two things that someone learns when they attempt to hold the first Robin hostage.

All the playground gossip

Don't fuck with Robin

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

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I think it's a common misconception that domesticating animals is somewhat like enslaving them. It really is more of a symbiotic relationship. No wild animal would have willingly put up with early humans if they didn't get something out of it. Wolves wouldn't have stayed with us and become dogs if they weren't getting food and safety out of it. Many large herbivores that are now domesticated could and would have easily trampled their early human captors or broken their enclosures open if they didn't have a reason to stay. Sometimes individual animals still do if we don't give them what they need.

The animals that have stayed with us for thousands of years have evolved to cooperate with us better. Dogs have additional facial muscles around their eyes that wolves lack in order to mimic human facial expressions. Sheep grow their wool perpetually while their wild counterparts don't because a bigger fleece means they're more likely to be allowed to breed and be kept around. Domestic dairy cows produce much more milk than wild bovine species and domestic hens lay more eggs. Do you know how energy costly producing eggs or milk is for an animal? It's pretty intense! They wouldn't be able to do that if we hadn't given them the food and safety from predators and the elements to.

And we really need to show these animals respect and gratitude for what they give us by taking excellent care of them. They gave up a lot to be with us, often including the means to take care of themselves in the wild. That's a huge reason why I'm not against using animal products, but I hate factory farming. They are still living, breathing creatures with needs and feelings. They deserve a comfortable life and, when the time comes, a humane death.

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A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

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I love House and Wilson.

House refuses to get help he needs. He claws and bites. He yells at people, says mean stuff, by means of avoidance and pushing people away.

And Wilson doesn’t force him–most of the time. He fights with him, calls him out, demands better. And he’s there for him when he comes around, and comforts him in ways that probably wouldn’t even make sense to anyone else.

House is feral, and everyone knows it. But they are so much alike.

Wilson refuses to acknowledge that he needs help. He treats himself as a literal donor–organs, tissues, blood, time. There’s almost nothing Wilson won’t give you. How can he make himself smaller? He’ll do it for you. He’ll do it to make this work.

And House sniffs out those problems like a bloodhound. House literally follows him to ensure he learns what exactly is going on with Wilson. He confronts Wilson, argues with him, gives him a reason to not sell himself off–even if it never works.

And on rare occasion, they do force each other. Wilson drugs House to bring him to his dad’s funeral–to protect his relationship with his mom and give him a chance to come to grips with his dad’s death. And House drugs Wilson so he doesn’t give that talk at the conference–to protect his career, keep him out of prison, and to soothe his guilty conscience.

Outsiders see House as a feral friend and Wilson as the steady one.

But Wilson and House are equally matched. They both have walls sky high, and they both see right through each other most of the time. Wilson’s just has a nice coat of paint that makes people walk right by. They’re both deeply flawed people who spend half their lives trying to drag the other away from the flames.