sgrpls-blog

[sgrpls-blog]

Jovian-Plutonian Gravitational Effect

To a fucker I once cared about:

I listen to loud disturbing music; so in exchange, they’re the one who’s going to scream for me, shout for me, say all the curse words for me.

I draw, create pictures, scratches; so all the suffering, the ravage stood still, abstract, portrayed on a piece of paper.

I learn how to do magic so I know I can fool people (including myself), can still put a smile on faces, also fixate my thought on the fact that I don’t need anything true to indulge myself happiness.

All these fixations, impulses, dispositions, biases, obsessions, and from assuetude it has become something I really enjoyed, something that gave meanings. made me a new person; ironic how it all started by having it as an escape, rebound then has become one with me.

May the universe, all the Gods out there, the Jovian–Plutonian gravitational effect bless the shit out of you because you destroyed, but at the same time gave me something to hold onto.

now I enjoy loud music because it’s the Elvis to my ears.

now I enjoy drawing, art more than ever because you taught me that they all have meanings behind all the paint and all the scratches. it became more lovely than ever.

now I mess around with cards, fooling people because it’s fun.

now I do things for me;

because of me

not for or because of some Jovian–Plutonian gravitational effect that never exists.

[sgrpls-blog]

Running

They care more when you’re six feet under the ground.

care enough to give fucks about your failures

no matter what good deeds you had on your records, people will still keep on track even after you’re dead. You will be labeled as weak, cowards and they will judge you for ‘running away’ from life.

But you know why people still ‘run away' anyways? they knew at least they don't have to live in this same sick filthy world as those who don't appreciate others. They knew, that you people who treat others based on social status, fame whatsoever, are not worth trying for. They are sick indeed. 

Judge all you want, but let me remind you that crazy people see normal people as crazy as well.

We don’t have any law regarding treating people, we just know whats right and whats not. yet people avoid to care, they don’t give any damn fuck if it is not their problem, yet when they do: they announce it to the whole world to seek help.

the ‘talking cure’ my ass, you can call it whatever the fuck you want; however, from what I ever saw, people kill other people just by that boneless chunk in their mouth.

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Demon Limbs

You can never know when:

will you be free from the rust of all your sweat saving someone else?

will you be free from the bound of her constant Prozacs and Pexevas?

will you ever be drunk for your own sake?

will you run in your own shoes?

The answer is actually pretty simple, it haunts you and comes to you like death, you know it’s coming, you know it’s absolute, yet you crave to not cease, learn how to swim so you not let yourself drown in your lake or whatever the fuck you want to call it. But you forget the fact that demons, they also have four legs and two arms, they also can learn how to swim.

but there are also things you do not remember:

That you have a soul, demons do not,

That you can feel, demons only make people feel *Bad

so, get back up. 

Be rusty, but this time from the sweat of your pursuit of happiness

It is okay to ingest those prozacs, but do it because of your own prescription.

Go get fucking wasted, but only for the sole purpose of wanting to *Have fun* Get wasted 

Go away. Run, Run away from the demons.

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I’ve got a secret:

For once I thought: I was not showing the world enough.

I keep regretting things I didn’t post, I keep blaming myself when I was not showing the world that I was not proud of having us. 

or was I?

Was it all the delusion of me wanting to keep up with the so-called “social media” ? or was it for us so we can brag to everyone that we had each other? the attention?

Then I realized for whatever I didn’t do, for whichever events, moments privacy I didn’t post, I am proud of it.

I am proud of us keeping us just to the both of us. I am proud that only small amount of people knew what happened. I am totally proud that my Instagram is not filled with that much memories.

—————————-

Through social media we fake things: 

“we are not faking it if we only show them our happy side, which means we didn’t lie that we had our bad times. We are just not telling them that we had”

is what they, I or you would think when we justify ourselves for seeking attention or attempting unintentional murder towards other’s relationship. Will the hunger ever stop? can we all just starve in the likes, and attention? for some (probably most) of us, the N word is the answer. Yet, they call us the “Millenials”. 

For once have your relationship for yourselves, for just for the two of you.

Sharing things are never a wrong thing to do, anything with the word “over” in front of it is. Social media is not the one thing that kills relationships, people like you, and I are.

What we should starve is the moment we live in. That time when her lips touch yours, when you both see that scenery from your secret hideout, the ice cream cone that you shared for two, and the fact that only both of you know this moment exists in your relationship.

Now I have come to the realization that I didn’t and shouldn’t regret anything. I am very happy and proud that we had (Most) of us only to ourselves.

[sgrpls-blog]

Be: cause

it’s just your own reason to look down on people.

why would you look down just because of lust?

why would you look down because of mistakes, when you want to be forgiven too?

there is no law in treating people, you’re an asshole because you are. all of your reasonings are excuses to justify your so-called ‘effort’ and ‘righteousness’ in degrading people just because of your mere relations with them, and their social status against you.

so now, look back and see: which one of you is the asshole?

which one of you is the one who is selfishly taking the other side for granted? 

which one of you is the one who’s making up excuses just to get away with your fucking mistakes, blaming your partners, friends whatsoever so you’re the one who looks like you have not done anything treacherous?

of course none of you, right?

because-

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To you

When did the diamonds leave your bones? Go fuck yourself and rot in hell for heaven's sake. Choke on those hearts you break. feed them to the sharks, throw them to the wolves. You're not a shepherd, Merely a sheep. A combined effort of everyone you meet; you're all flesh with no bone. The world is a shit tip, your life's screwed, Ones you thought are with you, are out for your blood I'm sick to death of swallowing every single thing I'm fed You think you're changing anything? Start questioning. The faceless won't save you, the clouds won't hear ya fuckin' prayers We're fucked, but you're making it worse. If you really believe in the words that you preach, just give up- cause you're making it so much worse. You can say I'm just a fool that stands for nothing. Yeah, start questioning again.

Inspired by Bring Me The Horizon’s Antivist x Go to Hell for Heaven’s Sake (Sempiternal) Most of these are from their lyrics with a bit of my modification. Go check them out for more songs with cathartic lyrics.

[sgrpls-blog]

For all the fuckups

You marry, fell in love with their souls. Take those who will fulfill dreams together.

Not some handsome prick with uncountable digits on his account and flowers sent to ya house on valentines, nor pretty chicks with wallets full of bucks who bought you Rolex on your birthday.

But apparently, that's not how the world runs. And I've seen it all before

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I’ll start hating

And cry to it if you will? 

cry so hard and regret me, regret you, regret your decision, regret mine.

I hope your life gone miserable for once. I hope you find someone who will never be as good. I hope that I will never have extravagant hopes for you anymore. you will go. go and beg forgiveness for your mistakes

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I’m Fine

They are never fine when they said that they are. 

people lie to make things quick, they are cognitive misers they hate complicated things, and at some point, they just run away from things;

you,

me,

us,

unsaid thoughts, unsolved problems, unfulfilled promises. Who am I to judge.

I'm fine.

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Lovely

How is not being normal fair? 

We didn’t choose to be like this

Our only way to survive is apparently one of the things which have the highest chance of murdering us too: peoples

Guess what? we become happy (which is definitely not us) then people call us fakes, pretenders. we open up to people; they judge us, they run away, spitting us to the ground.

People just want to save themselves from things they don’t understand.They despise promises with reasons; because they’re the one who always break them

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When you care about someone; “Getting Hurt” is kinda part of the package

When people left you, they will always use these following reason(s): “this is for your best”, “this is for our best”.

but know this:

it was never even about me, or about us, it’s always been about you, saving yourself, running away from what you did. All those breakup words were just bullshits, reasons, and your fucking selfishness, because you can’t stand the consequences of what you did to us

Then, you sacrifice your partner, who was indeed a fucking victim of your own fucking wrongdoings