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Sometimes i think about how wwx losing his golden core is akin to him suddenly becoming severely disabled, and how strongly it affected him. I know someone else has probably already said something about this but i need to talk about it.

His core was literally his livelihood. For cultivators it genuinely is what they spend their lives training. And wwx loved his life. Like a lot of ppl headcanon that his life at lotus pier sucked or that his potential was somehow limited there. But he loved being head disciple. He adored training and cultivation and helping others.

Losing his core was almost like losing a limb for him, but in some ways, it was even worse. Cause there was nothing wwx could do about it to help himself. He couldn't tell anybody due to the secrecy of it all. Since no one could know, he also couldn't rely on any accommodations for himself.

That entire time he spent at lotus pier after the war would've likely been absolute hell for him. Hes constantly being reminded on how his entire lifestyle is literally no longer in reach for him. Not only that but hes also expected to continue to live and perform at a similar level from before. Jc is pushing him to take up his old duties again and wwx literally cannot but he can't say anything.

Imagine how heartbreaking it is when hes asked to help teach some of their newest disciples, and while he wants to do nothing more, he literally can't. But he can't just say he can't so he falls back on the his old arrogant personality to slack off. He pissed everyone off on purpose so that they'll stop asking questions and then drinks away his sadness that this is all happening.

This can also be drawn back to disabling chronic pain, at least in some way. The golden core genuinely gives a strong physical boost. It staves off sickness, it heals, reduces pain, keeps the body warm, can stave off hunger even, etc. Wwx is now living without one, and he can't say anything. Ppl will assume that he can heal from injuries, so he wouldn't have gotten medical attention. So not only has he lost an important organ but hes also dealing with the constant pain that comes with its loss and attempting to maintain his lifestyle.

and this has such a huge affect on wwx's actions throughout the time period before his death. Wwx had essentially lost everything and couldn't tell a soul. He'd given up hope. It's also why he was so quick to leave with the wens. He didn't belief he had a future.

and regardless if he realized lan zhan didn't hate him or not, he'd already acknowledged that he had no future. To him they would never be able to be as they were before. He would never be able to be lan zhan's equal, nor companion. He had to die, cause to keep his secret he wouldn't be able to live within society anymore

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merji and foxxian with a-yuan for @mdzs-rabbithole !!

commissions here

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I made this account ages ago to link to my tik tok and never did lol, guess nows my time

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i have maybe the worst type of cuteness aggression about fiction characters that im attracted to

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I lowkey love how a lot mdzs fics are just an amalgamation of every different canon. Ik some ppl probably don't like it, but i love it. We pick and choose whatever parts we like best and keep what we want and leave what we don't

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Made this account just so I could post my wangxian fic list in a more stable place than tik tok and I forgot. I legit started to list my other danmei recs and totally forgot 😭😭

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Theres one thing about the cql canon that i really like and that's wwx having his og body upon resurrection. Does it make sense? No but i like it.

Cause yeah in canon it's hilarious that everyone easily figured out it was wwx even in a different body.

But it's even funnier with him in his og body and thinking a simple disguise would fool anyone. What's worse is that many ppl fell for it, or at least they pretended to. Which is even more hilarious to imagine cause then it's literally just this enormous game of pretend where wwx is the only one thinking his disguise is working.

Also i just like him in his og body 👉🏾👈🏾

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Something about mdzs will always just absolutely ruin me. Which is something I have been once again rediscovering as I started re-fixating on it recently. Every aspect of it is so interconnected. Everything is a parallel of something else.

Like the sibling relationships in mdzs alone. The way that they so deeply care about each other but also, inevitably one sibling feels as though they had failed the other. They way Jiang cheng and Wei Wuxian were close, but jc believed that wwx had given up on being his brother. Meanwhile wwx had sacrificed everything for jc only that sacrifice also led to his death. The reason that the only reason Yanli died was because she wanted to comfort wwx and tell him it wasn't it his fault.

This isn't even considering how tragic every other sibling relationship is. Nie Huaisang had to suffer knowing his brother died a tortuous death at the hands of someone he trusted. Lan Xichen had to watch his brother suffer at the hands of their own clan for his love. Wen Qing had to find her brother's corpse after the war!

Every sibling relationship is so encapsulated in tragedy.

Not to mention how much more complicated it was for Lan xichen in general. Cause him and Jin Guangyao are parallels of wangxian. The entire time xichen had believed that it was his brother who had a laspe in judgement. That wei wuxian was an evil character that had ended up corrupting his brother. Lan xichen's worst sin was that he didn't trust his brother. This makes it all the more tragic when everything is revealed. Because the person xichen did place his trust in, turned out to be the one person he shouldn't have.

So much of mdzs was just a sibling reacting to a tragedy.

Wei Wuxian chose sacrifice

Yanli chose forgiveness

Jiang Cheng chose Anger

Nie Huaisang chose revenge

Wen Qing chose family

Xichen chose to trust others (sucks for him he chose the wrong ppl)

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The universe whispered to me and now I'm back into my mdzs kick. Damn they make me feral