fun when you can’t even decide to just say something so simple to someone b/c your thoughts are a spiral of “what’s the protocol for telling them i miss them? is it.. okay to do that so they know i value them and they have a significant place in my life? is it okay to check up on them? what’s the minimum amount of time we’ve been apart that indicates it’s okay to tell them and ask? what level does our relationship have to be on for that to be okay? what if they think i’m… weird or something b/c they don’t consider me a part of their life and it’s overstepping? is it okay? what if they don’t want me talking to them hence the being apart and just busting in would bother them, at the very least? how does all of this work. how does any of it work. who knows! not me! i am a fool!” like @ me have you considered perhaps… relaxing
thinking about selling everything I own and moving to nyc??? I've fabricated the entire scenario in my head. And in the end or probably my first day spent there will end up w me being in big dept due to getting in some sort of terrible accident and somehow making in thru, then wanting to die because of that dept and now that THot of ever going to ny is making me reach for my xanax