senselesswanders

[senselesswanders]

Your moment of Zen, Takahashi Hiroaki

[senselesswanders]

Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible. 

Carl Jung, “Memories, Dreams, Reflections”

I am constantly trying to communicate something incommunicable, to explain something inexplicable, to tell about something I only feel in my bones and which can only be experienced in those bones. 

Franz Kafka, “Letters to Milena”

[senselesswanders]

I looked at my mother because I was a version of my mother. I looked away from my mother because I was a version of my mother. I was me, but I was also her—my mother, and I understood this all too well.

— Nora Lange, "Dog Star", pub. The Rupture (#120)

[senselesswanders]

And for the lovers who've found their mirrored heart, they just remind me I'm without you

[senselesswanders]

And every dream betrays me, and I do not know what to do with them

[senselesswanders]

In this one, I dream that you will leave me in every lifetime. I wake up with a sadness, that despite the ecstasy I simply cannot shake.

[senselesswanders]

And in every beautified syllable, I hear a love letter to God

[senselesswanders]

And I could devote my whole life in service to Love

[senselesswanders]

My soul sways and soars, and out of the yearning and pain, finally there is a moment of clarity. Finally, there is a singularity, a union with the Divine. And all I can do is laugh. Here it is. Here is God's wordless voice within me. The skies, the birds, the breeze. Here is God's voice, and I listen in wonder as the ecstasy flows through me. Here it is. Here it is.

[senselesswanders]

And just like, I collude with them. We walk around our secrets and we keep it within the house.

[senselesswanders]

What is every yearning, if not a reiteration of the yearning for the Beloved?

[senselesswanders]

And still, God's grace covers me

[senselesswanders]

Again, and again, and again

[senselesswanders]

The night haunts me, like a fist gripping my heart, I can't breathe

[senselesswanders]

Faith or reality, faith or reality. God forgive me, I do not know how to jump anymore.

[senselesswanders]

What use is love, if it is not earth shattering? What use is love, if the love itself isn't a revolution, isn't radical? What use is it, if it's very existence is not an act of resistance?

[senselesswanders]

I wonder what it means to be so haunted by the things I cannot say. In another life, I am a plaything of the night. Hypnotised by the lights, seduced by the darkness. In this one, I keep pretending to know something of goodness. As if my heart isn't in the darkness. As if the edges don't exist.