selfdiscoveryonabudget

[selfdiscoveryonabudget]

Anything one does every day is important and imposing and anywhere one lives is interesting and beautiful.

Gertrude Stein

[selfdiscoveryonabudget]

Happiness is essentially a state of going somewhere wholeheartedly, one-directionally, without regret or reservation.

W.H. Sheldon

[selfdiscoveryonabudget]

Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.

Henri Nouwen

[selfdiscoveryonabudget]

I've been an all or nothing person for most of my life. Black or white. I couldn't do anything with half of my heart, so often I chose to do nothing at all. Fear of disappointment and fear of missing out left me frozen, unable to live my life. I grew tired of letting opportunities slip by but I didn't know how to change. One by one I began to face my fears, to redefine the box I had placed myself in. Forcing myself out of my comfort zone showed me the fear that had suffocated me for so long wasn't real. The whole time I had been telling myself I wasn't good enough, and I never even gave myself the chance to TRY. Now I know better, even on my darkest days. When it's hard to see the light, be the light. You are more than enough.

@fitqueenirene

[selfdiscoveryonabudget]

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." To this day, especially in times of "disaster," I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.

Fred “Mr.” Rogers

[selfdiscoveryonabudget]

10 Lessons I Learned From the 21DSD

1. The 21DSD is a lot of food.

Week one I followed the meal plan almost exactly. The book says the meal plan is intended for two people. Since my husband would only be following the 21DSD for dinner I adjusted how much I needed to buy for breakfast and lunch. It was tedious, but I figured out how much I needed to buy by looking at the recipes for every meal and reducing the amount of ingredients needed to reflect my needs. However, even while doing this I still had to buy a ton of food. This left me with huge meals, lots of leftovers, overeating, and throwing away a lot of food. Not something I aim to do.

To fix this I greatly reduced the amount of ingredients I bought for each meal for weeks 2 and 3. If you take a look at the weekly shopping lists you'll see what I mean. How in the world can two people eat that much?!

2. The 21DSD can be expensive.

In total I spent $580.14 on the 21DSD. That's $200 over my monthly grocery budget. Week one was definitely the most expensive. Once I lessened the amount of food I bought, the grocery tabs were more reasonable. I also didn't buy all organic/free range/etc. simply because I could not afford to. I tried to buy the best options when I could but I was already spending way more than normal. 

3. Don't be afraid to make something outside of the meal plan (as long as it follows the 21DSD guidelines). 

As I said, I followed week one exactly. This resulted in me eating some meals I didn't care for all that much, which led to me being very bitter about doing the 21DSD. During weeks two and three I replaced the recipes that didn't look all that great to me with one of the thousands of options available through the internet and the 21DSD Cookbook. I discovered some delicious meals through this and it gave me the energy to finish the 21DSD.

4. The first week is the hardest.

I almost quit more times in the first week than the other two weeks. I felt like crap. I was dizzy, bloated, mad, and had a constant headache. But this was my body detoxing all of the built-up crap. This hard week led to an amazing two weeks. In weeks two and three I started to feel the benefits of the 21DSD.

5. Be prepared to spend a lot of time prepping and cooking your meals.

Since I was expecting this and have a lot more free time after work than I did while in school, this didn't bother me much. But if you have a tight schedule (or are cooking for more than two) plan for this. I had to prioritize my time and choose to cook when I would rather be doing something else. However, I was very thankful for the nights I prepped my breakfast and lunches as it set me up for success the next day.

6. You will learn a lot.

The 21DSD book starts out with a lot of great information that you should definitely read before starting the detox to set you up for success. I also learned about:

Healthier options for ingredients I frequently cook with (coconut flour instead of wheat flour, for example)

How easy it can be to cook a healthy meal; while some meals took a long time to prep and cook, others were quick and great to have in my back pocket when I needed something fast.

My husband is willing to try most anything I put on his plate (thanks babe!)

There are ingredients out there I've never heard of 

How it's possible to feel full without feeling heavy

Vanilla beans are much cheaper from Amazon

Saffron is hella expensive and a pretty good paella can be made without it

and so much more...

7. Be prepared to go to multiple grocery stores.

Shopping for week one was horrible. Not only was I stressed because of how much I was spending, but I had to go to three different grocery stores to find all of the ingredients I needed. Sometimes I still couldn't find the ingredient and needed to find substitutes instead. My only advice for this is, patience.

8. Be prepared to say no.

During week one of my 21DSD one of my colleagues brought suckers to our staff meeting. As they were passed around and everyone grabbed one, I had to be strong enough to say no. I was a HUGE candy addict before the detox so saying no to candy during week one was definitely a challenge. During week two my colleague asked my to split a pop and I went into the staff kitchen to find a box of donuts. No and no. 

9. Be prepared to defend your reasoning for doing the 21DSD.

It is very interesting how I'm never questioned when I share my plans to go to happy hour and drink all the wine my heart desires. Or how it is fine for me to go to a Chinese buffet for lunch and eat until I'm miserable. But choosing to not eat sugar for 3 weeks can be controversial. Be prepared to defend your reasoning. Also be clear with yourself why you're doing the 21DSD. What do you want to get out of it? Be careful if your answer is weight loss...

10. You may or may not lose weight on the 21DSD.

I didn't. To be honest I'm still frustrated by this. I read countless testimonies of others who completed the 21DSD and had noticeable weight loss. Even though I continually reminded myself that weight loss was not my goal for completing the 21DSD, that little voice in my head was constantly wondering if I had lost any weight. I had my husband write down my weight during weeks one and two because I knew if the scale didn't reflect any weight loss it would be hard to continue. I was very anxious to reach the end of week three and step on the scale. So when I did and saw no difference from my starting weight, I was pissed. I then asked my husband what my weight was at the end of weeks one and two and broke down when he said my starting weight. After crying for about an hour and my husband reminding me my reasoning for doing the detox, my anger started to subside. While I definitely still have bitter feelings around not losing any weight, the changes I can see and feel in my body are huge. I have a ton more energy, I'm happier, I'm sleeping great, I haven't felt bloated for two weeks and I now have a ton of knowledge and motivation that will keep me on the track to success. The bloating is the biggest thing for me. I have felt consistently bloated for the last 6 months. It feels amazing to go through my day without a full, achey stomach. So make sure you are clear with yourself for why you are doing the 21DSD. And don't be mad if you don't lose weight. Even though I didn't, I feel great and am excited to continue to eat closely to how I have been while on the detox. I also plan to use my new energy levels to workout more.

I hope this helps if you are thinking about doing the 21DSD. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out! I definitely recommend the 21DSD if you want to break your sugar addiction, get your energy back, learn more about sugar's effect on our bodies, and so much more. Good luck!

[selfdiscoveryonabudget]

Hey! I think your blog is really great, I can so relate to everything you wrote. It's not really an ask, just want to let you know this :)

Thank you so much!! I am glad you found it :) Always nice to find another lost twentysomething in this world :)

[selfdiscoveryonabudget]

REBLOG IF YOU'RE A POSTGRAD OR TWENTYSOMETHING BLOG, SO I CAN FOLLOW YOU.

[selfdiscoveryonabudget]

You're not them. They're not you.

Secret 21 of Paul Angone's book starts out like this:

The key to success in your 20s is comparing yourself to everyone, every day. Then let that anxiety and fear propel you to work harder, faster, and with more motivation

My immediate thought after reading this was "This can't actually be one of Angone's secrets for your twenties...can it?" 

Angone then goes on to give example after example of how we can do this. Including: pore over friend's Facebook profiles and decipher how they have done their lives much better than you and Googling the price of a new suit your friend buys. Even though I realized how ridiculous all of these things were while reading them, I couldn't help but recall specific times I have done them.

Why do we compare ourselves to others? Why do I feel like I'm helping myself by comparing someone eles's success to my own? I honestly don't know. But I do know that it makes me feel like shit. And since I know you do this too, I'm guessing it makes you feel like shit as well.

We are all unique. We all have something to bring to the table. Something I hope to make part of my everyday life someday is helping others to realize their potential. Even though he might be a pro surf boarder and you enjoy spending your time reading, that doesn't make his hobby and better or more important than yours. Deep down we all know this, but that doesn't make it any easier to stop comparing. Whether it be a hobby, job, house or new car, we all tend to compare our circumstances with others'.

However, even though it is something we may never be able to stop completely, comparing ourselves to others is something we need to consciously combat if we hope to live our passions. I mean, how can you live your story if your trying to fit it into someone else's?

[selfdiscoveryonabudget]

I have always tried to make room for anything that wanted to come to me from within.

Carl Jung

[selfdiscoveryonabudget]

You are exactly where you're supposed to be.

Lately I have been feeling the pressure of being a twenty-something and wanting to have it all figured out RIGHT NOW. I have also been feeling the anxiousness that comes from working in a job you know isn't your forever job. Sometimes I get so carried away with where I want to be in a year from now that I lose focus of where I am right now.

Recently Ben Fanning did a guest post on the Live Your Legend blog and it was phenomenal. The focus of the post was how to live your legend without ever quitting your day job. So many of his points resonated with me and I highly recommend you check it out. 

Fanning's post helped me think through everything I am gaining by working at my current job. Then I read Secret 6 of Paul Angone's book 101 Secrets For Your Twenties which gave me good perspective on where our mindset should be during times of life when we are preparing for the next move. As Angone puts it, we must:

Learn. Grow. Then Go.

I love that. We are always exactly where we're supposed to be. It is important to actively envision where we want to be and take the appropriate steps to getting there, but the timing of when we act on these things is equally important.

There is something to be learned from every moment. Every moment helps us grow. And when we are finished with all that moment has to give us we go. 

[selfdiscoveryonabudget]

Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything... we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for [her] who has the vision to realize it as such.

Henry Miller

[selfdiscoveryonabudget]

If I consider my life honestly, I see that it is governed by a certain very small number of patterns of events which I take part in over and over again…when I see how very few of them there are, I begin to understand what huge effect these few patterns have on my life, on my capacity to live. If these few patterns are good for me, I can live well. If they are bad for me, I can’t.

Christopher Alexander

[selfdiscoveryonabudget]

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

[selfdiscoveryonabudget]

A stumble may prevent a fall.

English Proverb

[selfdiscoveryonabudget]

This isn't what 22 is supposed to feel like.

Secret 6 of Angone's book 101 Secrets For Your Twenties Is one we can all relate to no matter what our age:

Life will never feel like it's supposed to.

How simple yet profoundly true of a phrase. I remember thinking about graduation during freshman year and assuming I would have it all figured out by now. I mean I had for years to get it together how could I not by the time I graduated? Well here we are, and this definitely isn't what it's "supposed" to feel like.

To my freshman mind, 22 was supposed to feel like freedom, like being an adult, like being thankful to have a 9 to 5 job. At this point in my life I was supposed to feel like I was on the right track. Like I knew exactly what my goals were and what it is I truly enjoy to do. Well I am sorry sweet, naïve Andrea but that's not what 22 feels like.

Right now 22 feels like a thousand questions at once, six different arrows pointing me towards my next step, dreading Monday and wishing for Friday, and wanting more money but not having time to work anymore than I already do.

But 22 also feels like an incredible time of exploration. A time to try things and fail and be okay with that because I'm in the discovery stage in my life. A time to get comfortable feeling a little lost and a time with endless possibilities in front of me. A time that feels both infinite and about to end, and a time that will play a huge role and how I spend the rest of my life.

One of the biggest things that my 20s have taught me so far is that I may not be in the same place as anyone else and that may feel uncomfortable but that is okay. I am finally coming to a point in my life where I'm not constantly envious of those who seem to have it all figured out. Because who really has it figured out?

And so even though I once thought there was a way I was supposed to be living at 22, and even though I sometimes look at others and think I should be living that way, it is time to accept that I am exactly where I need to be.

Angone says two things while discussing secret 6 that I want to end this post with:

if we keep trying to live other peoples lives, who is going to live ours?

and

If we're always trying to live like we're "supposed to" we're never going to truly live.

Oh, and this:

[selfdiscoveryonabudget]

The greatest of empires, is the empire over one’s self.

Publilius Syrus