seleneauger

[seleneauger]

The sehun soulmate scenario is sooooo beautiful (wrecked my heart) but so beautiful that I can’t really put it into the correct words if how much I loved it

Thank you so much for your kind words anon! Happy that I made you feel things :")

[seleneauger]

a soft, stay at home ask game

send me some numbers and i’ll share my answers to the below! 💐🌻

your favourite playlist (made by yourself or someone else)

how many houseplants in your room, and what kinds are they?

your favourite “grounding” activity (anything that involves using the hands/doesn’t involve “spacing out” or escapism - something like gardening, knitting, dancing, cooking)

an account on social media whose posts make you smile

5 tv shows that cheer you up

how you get relaxed when you’re struggling to sleep

your favourite board game

if you were going to write a non-fiction book on any topic, what would it be?

a quote that you would consider getting tattooed or putting in a frame

something you’ve created in the last year that you’re proud of (a playlist, a piece of art, some writing, a craft hobby, a social media account, etc)

a tip or hack you’ve learned that makes cleaning or tidying easier

if you could make a candle that smelt like anything, what would you pick?

the last so-bad-it’s-good joke you heard

an artist (of any kind) whose work you look forward to seeing

the last tv episode that made you laugh out loud

how you wake your body up when it’s feeling tired, achy or needs a stretch

a bath, shower, beauty or toiletry product that makes you feel revived, or that you always re-order when it’s running out

a book series you can always escape in

the sport or exercise you enjoy the most, and what’s helped you get better at it

a skill you’ve picked up in the past few years

a youtube video you find useful, entertaining or relaxing

if you were going to dye your hair any colour of the rainbow, what would you choose?

the book you just finished and what you thought (no spoilers!)

describe the most wacky, weird and wonderful at-home outfit you’ve put together

a game you’re playing that takes your mind off things

the film you watched most recently that you could watch again and again

your favourite flavour and brand of tea

a good-will story you’ve heard on the news that’s made you feel hopeful

a favourite easy recipe: 5 ingredients or less, or takes less than 30 min to make

a song that makes you want to have a boogie round your bedroom

[seleneauger]

requests open

need to churn my mind for creativity. feel free to send a member + a word and i’ll try to write something short (or long, depending on how my mind spins the ideas out)

will write for bts and seventeen!

[seleneauger]

.

[seleneauger]

🧚🏻‍♂️whimsical/magical themed questions🧚🏼‍♀️

meadow; What are 3 things that make you happy?

pixie dust; Do you ever think about the past?

flower circle; Life advice that you’ve learned from experience?

daisies; Where would you rather be right now? Why?

spells; Is there a person you miss?

potion; What’s something that somebody told you and you will never forget?

sparkles; Which five places you want to visit the most?

fairytale; What are your top 3 pet peeves?

elf; Who is the person that inspires you the most? Why?

wonder; Five ways to win your heart?

dandelion; List three songs that you’re loving right now.

dream; Write about something for which you feel strongly.

roses; Do you think your zodiac sign fits you? Why?

forest; Share 10 facts about you.

nymph; What three lessons do you want your children to learn from you?

enchanted; A small paragraph to someone, anyone.

secret garden; Discuss your first love.

moonlight; Is there an area in your life that you’d like to improve?

fireflies; What’s something that makes you laugh out loud?

candles; What are your goals for this year?

unicorn; Are you in a relationship right now?

phoenix; Do you consider yourself an extrovert or an introvert?

wish jar; Have you ever hit a low point in your life?

lavender; What love means to you?

crystal; Share your must self care tips.

fairy ring; What’s your spirit animal?

[seleneauger]

sehnsucht

In a quiet shore, alone, I feel the sand beneath my feet. It is dusk, and one by one, the lights from the surrounding homes come to life. Wavelengths of yellow and white stream across the spaces in between, where the sea meets the horizon. Slowly, I walk towards the waves, undulating with the wind. They recoil slowly, taking their time in being drawn back to their depths by the influence of the moon. Water surrounds me softly, as I submerge myself in its comfort. I let the currents move my body before I simply float, my face breaking the water just enough for me to breathe and take in the fading sunset and the emergence of the stars. My ears stay immersed in the salt water, and I hear the coarse tinkling of the sand rocking back and forth, back and forth. They sound like tiny crystals in suspension, and for a moment, I still and allow myself to really listen to how things sound underwater. The bass is heavy, and frequencies that I cannot pinpoint are transmitted across the ocean. It is foreign yet somehow comforting, that there are messages travelling across the globe through these waters that pass through my ears before they recede and travel once more, as if simply to leave me a message like a mailman would before he traverses onwards to see different places, meet different people, breathe in different energies, then suddenly evaporating towards the atmosphere, and into the unknown.

Keep reading

[seleneauger]

Warm Hearted Asks

Weather - What do you love most?

Dove - How do you express love?

Friendship Bracelet - What does friendship mean to you?

Loveseat- Describe your ideal house

Record Player - Love songs or breakup songs?

Stargaze - Celebrity crush?

Planter - Do you have a green thumb?

Linen - Do you prefer being friends with someone before starting a romantic relationship with them or starting straight into love?

Hot Cocoa - Three things you love about yourself?

Valentine - Do you like pda?

Succulent - What are you looking forward to?

Bath bomb - What is the best form of self care?

Roadtrip - Where is the farthest you’ve been from home?

Brown Sugar - What is making your heart warm today?

Pearls - Do you want to get married?

Seaside - Ideal date?

Luna Moth - City or country?

Velvet - What is your style?

Cupcake - Are you in love?

Romcom - Is your story a comedy or tragedy?

Sunset - Ask anything you want!

[seleneauger]

Please!! Tell me is going to be a second part? 😬😬

Hi anon! I'm assuming this is for propinquity! I meant to publish it as a standalone piece, but maybe if inspiration comes (which doesn't knock on my door very often I'm afraid) I can write a spin off! But I purposely wrote it as a oneshot :)

[seleneauger]

To my writing soulmate. You have hurt me in the best way and I'm still crying. Your storytelling never fails to amaze me and I left you my emotional struggle on twitter. I'm sorry for the yelling but I needed to say, you amaze me. You always know how to engage a reader into the world you've built and I can't help but fall in love with each character. Even Sehun. The ending gave me a sliver of hope for each of their happiness and as always ILY and TY for allowing me to live through your words.

Ena!! You are too kind with your words... T___T I'm glad you liked it!! My brain is not functioning at the moment but I hope I captured a little bit of the enaasteria angst that has hurt me for years HAHA

[seleneauger]

Propinquity was the equivalent of putting your hand IN MY HEART AND TEARING IT OUT but cool i guess crying in fetal position

I meant for it to hurt but I was worried that it wouldn't do the same to others.. thank u for the validation!!!! Im sorry for the angst but im glad it made you feel things!!! Thank u also lovely anon for leaving me a message ❤️

[seleneauger]

propinquity

propinquity - noun.  the state of being close to someone or something; proximity.

Lead: Oh Sehun

Genre: Angst, neighbor!au, soulmate!au 

Warnings: sexual content

Words: 4347

For my moon goddess @enaasteria​. 

Note: I finally got to finish this after many laptop transfers and life events. I’m so sorry this is so late, but I hope you’ll accept this small gift Ena!

--

i. It is golden hour. Your hair threatens to fall out of its bun as you climb the stairs to your apartment because the elevator is undergoing maintenance again. In your hands is a pot of English Ivy you bought, its tendrils threatening to get caught with every step you take. The diffused sunlight makes it hard to determine exactly what time it is, but you're confident that you didn't dawdle too much in the flower shop  at the corner block where you bought your new houseplant. God knows how many succulents you've killed, but you're determined to make this plant live.

Your apartment is minimalist without it feeling too clinical. It has lots of natural light and rent is reasonable enough for its location. It's peaceful and cozy, and you appreciate that it's not facing the street where all the noise and hustle of life fill the streets. Your daybed is comfy and the sheets are fresh. It's home.

To you, silence was golden. In the busy tempo of life, you felt the need to get away for a while, when work becomes too much, when the  heartbeat of the metro gets too loud, when the voices of the people passing on the street overpower your own. Silence was your friend and sometimes your enemy, but most of the time it provided you the respite you needed.

The moon hangs low in the sky, when the nap you take is interrupted and you sigh in resignation because you're used to hearing them. Again.

For the nth time since you've moved in this apartment, the sound of laughter and conversations muffled by the thin walls fill the room. You're a light sleeper and quick to wake up and you would have clawed your eyes out if 1) you weren't so used to it and 2) if you actually had the energy to do so.

You wonder if your neighbor makes it a point to let everyone know how much of a great time he's having with his significant other, but it's the irritation at being disturbed in the middle of a nap that's talking. Said neighbor takes the space at the end of the hallway and your unit is directly beside his, so it's only you that has the unfortunate privilege of hearing his and his partner's laughter at the most opportune of moments, and the occasional sound of thumps of what you can only assume is a bed. Or a couch.

You recall the first time you confront him about it.

It might have had more impact if you knocked on his apartment in your pajamas to drive the point across that he was too goddamn loud last night with his rendition of Fancy at two am in the morning with his over eager girlfriend who likes hyping him up. But you were dressed for work, and you didn't get enough sleep and you had enough. Your boss caught you dozing off in the middle of coding and you wanted nothing more than to hide in embarrassment when he joked about you having too much fun the night before. You started doing overtime to finish your work.

"Hey Unit 901, if you don't come out, I'm gonna start charging you for all the overtime I have to do at work because I can't fall asleep to your incessant laughter at ungodly hours!"

The first thing you see when the door swings open is a clavicle.

Human beings that were this physically attractive were few and far between, and this guy looked like fucking Adonis. Figures he'd be getting all the sexy times he wants but if you had to wake up from a really nice dream to listen to his laughter for the fourth time this week (it's Friday), you would seriously consider breaking his door out of spite.

It takes you a moment to compose yourself and to look up at him and not at that sliver of skin. "I'm the person who lives in 902 and I'm happy for your love life and all your fun times with your girlfriend, who is very pretty by the way, I saw her leaving your place once, but for the sake of my sanity, if I hear you being playing PubG with her at 2am in the morning as you both start shouting at each other to snipe the enemy, I will seriously combust."

He takes in your features and your face feels warm, too warm for your liking.

"Sorry about that, I didn't realize the walls aren't soundproof?" He apologized but it sounds like an excuse and all you want is a concrete plan of action for you to get a decent amount of sleep. "I'll try to minimize the noise, so I hope you don't file a noise complaint to the landlord uh…"

You realize that you haven't exchanged names and you give him yours and he finishes his apology slash excuse.

"I'm Sehun by the way. Oh Sehun."

You are determined not to get distracted by his good looks. "Well Oh Sehun, unless I stop waking up in the middle of the night because of your noise, I'm gonna stick to calling you Unit 901."

He smiles and apologizes properly this time. You excuse yourself to leave work, and try to forget how warm his hand was when he shook it.

Now it's only been two days and the noise starts again. But it's a different kind of noise this time; its melodic and you vaguely register it as a ballad you've heard on the radio before.

It’s the sound of his singing that makes the annoyance go away, and you fall asleep to Sehun's voice.

ii. Oh Sehun is water. Fluid and graceful, and is one who easily slips away from your grasp. He doesn't listen to your half-hearted threats to tape his mouth and easily dodges your fist when you try to hit him that he looks like he's gliding away from you, but does try to bribe you with food so that you won't rat him out to the landlord.

It started with his buying a mini cake as a peace offering for disturbing your sleep the morning after your first complained to him. It used to irk you that all these hole in the wall bakeries that he gets his pastries from are far from your office because you were seriously considering selling him out to the landlord if he didn't move his bed to somewhere not near the wall that divides your unit and his because you really didn't need to know the specifics of what he and his girlfriend likes in bed, but you'll be damned if you don’t get another slice of their peach earl grey mousse cakes.

Since then, you've been in this weird relationship with this noodle of a man, which consists of you half-heartedly bitching to him about how loud they're being, (halfhearted because  you're slowly getting used to it, and it makes your apartment seem less lonely). He brings you food and helps you change your light bulbs, while you change his life by giving him the address of a really good sushi restaurant just 20 minutes away from the apartment complex and teaching him how to make a damn good lasagna. You don't comment on his drinking habits, and he doesn’t comment on the ring on your finger.

iii. The first time you hear him laugh in front of you, you're already familiar with it.

It was a Saturday, meaning it was your mission to sleep in as late as possible. You're rudely awakened by the ding of your doorbell and were so out of it to properly wonder who could be visiting you on a weekend without informing you beforehand (your friends knew you had an unwritten rule to schedule visits three business days before they were approved).

Remembering it is a little embarrassing, but it doesn't surprise you that you standing there in the most over sized pajamas you own, hair in a bun sitting at the very apex of you head as you give him this look as if you were so used to threatening visitors with minimal effort with a butter knife in hand made Sehun laugh.

He probably couldn't decide if you looked threatening enough or that you'd possibly be an actual threat, what with the muay thai classes you're taking that you mentioned in passing.

"The landlord told me to tell you that there will be a temporary power outage about an hour from now since they need to fix the elevator. It'll last till late in the afternoon so you might want to charge your phone or laptop."

The laughter comes unbidden when you squint at him because you forgot to put on your glasses when you opened the door and he's laughing again, but it sounds different when there are no walls separating the two of you. It's not muffled, it is clear and warm familiar and you feel something in your chest as he slowly pushes the hand wielding the butter knife down to a less threatening level.

Oh. Oh.

He waves you goodbye and walks towards the stairs while you stare dumbly at the space he used to occupy. Your brain is finally catching up to all that happened and you take deep breath to clear your thoughts and stop thinking about his laughter.

You've been his neighbor for two months, and nearly half of those nights are either spent listening to him and his girlfriend laugh and talk every other day, Fridays being the day where they laugh with nearly no reservations because it's their movie night (you know this because he lets you leech off his Netflix account). She laughs freely with no reservations, in bursts that made you think she was the sun. It rang clearly and sometimes catches you off guard when you're in the middle of making dinner.

When he introduces you as the neighbor who recommended a movie on Netflix that she enjoyed so much she could quote the lines, you realize that she was the sun. His sun. And her laugh was like honey.

iv. The noises stop completely.

It was the laughter that stopped first, followed by the hushed tones. What was once laced with small giggles morphed into bites of annoyance, frustration, and then eventually to quiet sobs. You don’t know who is crying and who is talking; the walls seem thicker than ever and one day it just stops.

It goes on till the next day. And the next day, and the next week and Sehun's smile seems to have disappeared completely and you're worried. Worried because its physically painful to look at the emotional turmoil so evident in his face. But it's not like you can just demand answers from him, to him, you are simply his neighbor, the one who teaches him how to cook and sends way too many pictures of cute dogs.

So you bide your time.

You catch him entering his apartment at 3am, after your spontaneous trip to the convenience store to buy some tea bags. He seems to be permanently slouching these days, his skin is pale and crescent moons line his eyes in purple. He notices you and the words are coming out from your mouth before you register them.

"Do you need someone to talk to?"

Sehun's face nearly falls at the question but makes a small motion for you to enter his apartment.

It's clean and orderly its almost sterile. You expect it to be messy either from neglect or from it being inhabited but it's too clean, it's almost clinical. Detached.

"Do you want a drink?"

"Hot water is fine, I actually came from the convenience store with tea…"

He nods and quietly sets the electric kettle to boil. By the time the tea has steeped, the silence is almost oppressive and you're about to say something, anything to break the silence that is suffocating the air when he speaks.

"I'm not her soulmate."

The tea scalds your tongue.

His hands envelope his mug as if looking for warmth. Warmth that only a soulmate can give and you're glad he's looking down so he doesn't see you wince. The air becomes even heavier; it is stuffy and oppressive and you resist the urge to open his balcony doors to let some air in because the nights are getting cold, but you know what Sehun feels is much, much worse.

Because in this world, the cold that comes with heartbreak bites before it settles in your bones as it makes breathing a little harder till there doesn't seem to be enough oxygen. It becomes parasite, leeching off your energy to fuel how cold it is till you move on and find love somewhere else, in someone else and warmth will suddenly flood you once you meet your soulmate.

Sehun is not a stranger to heartbreak. He remembers his first love in high school and the cold that came not with the changing of seasons, but in the way his first love accidentally found her soulmate when she nearly fell forward when the train suddenly stopped in their third year of high school. He remembers their agreement to date till they found their soulmates but it was still painful seeing them meet in the train, this stranger's hands on his girlfriend, and the way their eyes both lit up in response to the warmth that started from her shoulders and his hands and ended  on their left chest, right where their hearts sat beating. He remembers that day so vividly, his first heartbreak and the first time he felt the cold on a summer day, and he remembers never feeling warmth when he held her hand. It was just over the middle of the spectrum of temperature. Not nothing, it was simply lukewarm, that changed into an uncomfortable chill over the train incident. Uncomfortable, but bearable.

This heartbreak, however, just unbearable.

Sehun was not prepared for how frigid it was when he finds out he is not her soulmate but she was his. It was painful when he experienced his first heartbreak, but this was on an entirely different scale. It was overwhelming; it made him keel over in pain and all but tore the oxygen from his lungs.

He shows you her name on his skin. It winds across his ring finger in neat handwriting and it's so small you need to move closer to read the letters. You don’t take his hand and simply stare at her name. It's greyed out instead of the usual black and Sehun shivers as he traces the characters gently before his eyes settle on your hands. It focuses on the silver band on your ring finger and he tries to forget the way he stumbled upon a pretty ring by the jewelers a month before everything spiraled down.

That ring was supposed to be for her, his sun, his soulmate.

Sehun cries quietly as he brings his hands to his face. He is water, and the question that flows out of his lips through the gaps in his fingers carries the curiosity and sadness he's had for a while ever since he noticed you started wearing your ring.

"How about you?"

You press your fingers together, minimizing the gaps between them before stretching them out and twirling the ring on your ring finger, the band thick enough to cover the greyed out name that loops around it.

"I'm not his soulmate either."

You let out a choked sob, and suddenly you're not as grounded as your element as vines constrict your throat and encage your chest. He is the rain and you are the earth. He is a torrent of emotions and you are an earthquake. The air is charged with sorrow. It circulates the room and you both cry for yourselves, and for each other. Sehun feels another rush of water sting his eyes when his assumption about you and your soulmate had been correct all along and he tries to remember the warmth from his sun to no avail. Was it naïve for him to think, to hope that his name would appear on her fingers when hers was on his? Her hands were empty for so long; was it a sign that they wouldn't end up together?

He misses her. She was (is?) his lifeline and now he has nothing but the greyed out name on his fingers to remind him that it has been cut.

v. "Let's be happy together."

Not saying anything, you smiled wryly. Sehun thinks it's because you both are glitches in the system of fate, and he wonders if one could really be happy with a person that isn't his or her soulmate. But he stands in front of you and he's tired of feeling sorry for himself and he offers you a way to solve the predicament you're both in. He doesn't know who your soulmate is and he doesn't press the issue, doesn't force you to say anything. It's a sensitive topic that still brings with it the touch of a chill that starts from his chest whenever he remembers her, and he's sure it's not different for you.

vi. You start sleeping with each other the night after.

Sehun rationalizes the whole set up. "We aren't the soulmates of our soulmates. Might as well try with people in the same boat as us, right?" He's cutting up vegetables for tonight's dinner as he says this very casually. But you hear the slight strain in his voice, see the momentary shake of his hands on the kitchen knife and you know he's thought about it enough to voice it out and ask your opinion. His voice is becomes quieter but gains a certain kind of stability when he speaks next.

"Physical warmth is nothing compared to the warmth that a soulmate can provide, but sometimes you just need someone to be there when you want to remember how warmth feels like, to stave off the cold."

Your brain doesn't catch up to your body. It listens to the beat of your heart as it flutters erratically and you're kissing him before you know it. You don't care where this will lead you, the rational part of your brain pleads not to give in but it loses the battle against what your body wants and you want it now and all that is running through your mind is him, him, him.

His eyes are turbulent like a tsunami, as he mouths against your belly button. You arch your back and you don't know exactly what your pleading for but you do, and all you can hear is how desperate you are, begging, begging with your hoarse voice and even that is washed away when his head is between your thighs and you crash against the currents till it takes you to the peak and you can't breathe.

In those moments, he is impossibly warm and you cling to that warmth like a lifeline as he takes you, as you give yourself to him over and over again till your lungs catch fire. You're swept up by the waves of love lust and dragged down by the undercurrents. All you see is the swirling of water, violent and passionate that you don’t see the bubbles rising to the surface and forget that you need air, not water to breathe.

In those moments, you don't mind drowning.

And drown you do.

vii. It is not long that you become a part of each other's lives when the sun is gone.

Sehun pulls the covers over your bodies and pulls you flush against his chest. Your voice is small when you ask.

"Stay?"

"Sure."

But Sehun is water and you can't ask water to stay. It is never static, always moving with the changing of tides and will always slip from the seams.

It is when his breathing is rhythmic that you allow the sob that choked you to escape. But slowly, slowly.

Sehun sleeps deeply that night, so he doesn’t not notice when you curl in towards yourself and lift the ring on your left hand, just enough to read the grey characters flickering with red as if they were dying embers. The cold hits you more painfully than before because the warmth is snatched away from you so quickly you barely had time to embrace it. It is replaced with the burning feeling not from heat, but from something so frigid it burns, oh god it burns and you're reminded that Sehun is your soulmate, but you aren't his as you stare at his greyed out name on your finger. 

It is exhaustion, the weight of your secret, and the sadness you’ve been carrying for so long that pulls you to sleep.

You wake up in the morning alone in bed. Sehun is making breakfast and the scent of coffee wafts through the apartment.

At first you think nothing of it. It's always like this, and you roll over on his side of the bed and cling to the residual warmth of the sheets. It's nice to wake up to the smell of breakfast but you find yourself reaching out to the opposite side of the bed every time.

You want to wake up next to him on a lazy morning.

But then in the middle of one night, weeks into whatever this relationship is that you catch him by the couch on the window. He doesn't notice you stir from sleep; he is drawn to her, traces her name on his finger and his voice is breathy, wistful, longing.

"You're the only person I want to wake up next to in the morning."

It is whispered to the air, as if it would carry his wish towards her, his sun. He says it to the moon and closes his eyes. He stays in that position for a long while, and when he slides back into the bed, he is facing away from you.

Stay?

Perhaps you were being too greedy. Overwatering kills plants after all.

viii. Sehun met you on a summer day, when the season was just changing from the cusp of spring. It was warm, and as time passes by it grew warmer and warmer, with the sun rising higher into the skies like smoke that curls in tendrils. He remembers because he remembers his sun, with hair that glowed like the gold during too bright mornings when he woke up next to her. And he remembers the summer heat dissipating and making way for autumn, the cold starting to seep in. It's uncanny how the seasons of the following year seemed to reflect his emotional state, mocking him with the cold that blew his hair from his face while the cold he felt at the loss of his soulmate seeped into his bones. Fate was cruel and nature was its accomplice.

You, on the other hand, seemed to be operating on the opposite conditions. Two years could do a number on people, and he remembers the different sweaters you'd wear all year round the first time you met him. Till the events in both your lives seemed to intertwine like the vines on an endless hedge maze, bound together but without any clear pattern or path. Circular, in ways more than one, and both as full and as empty as the number zero.

Recently, you stop wearing sweaters and jackets altogether, your arms constantly exposed to the chilled air. Sehun calls you out on it on one of those nights where you've developed the habit of standing by your balcony in nothing but an old shirt when the moon hangs high in the sky.

"I've gotten used to the cold."

He doesn't recognize the tone of your voice.

ix. "Can I ask a favor? For tonight, can you think of me, and only of me?"

The day you decide to leave him, you ask for one tender night with him. Your voice is soft but filled with a kind of determination Sehun doesn't catch. After all, it has become an unwritten and unspoken rule that this whole arrangement with you was for both to get over your respective soulmates. Sehun doesn't read too deeply into the stakes of this relationship, doesn't want to open that can of worms. Doesn't realize the weight of your words because in his mind, you are both using each other to forget.

But the body remembers. And he sees the tears fall from your eyes, he can only stare. It becomes clear to you that Sehun never noticed, never realized the depths of your feelings for him and that hasn't changed. The heartbreak you feel has reached a fever pitch and you break down. Sehun moves to hug you, but you shake your head. Sehun thinks, believes he understands you; you two are in the same predicament after all. Both your cases are rare and for the two of you to have met in this lifetime was something he believes was fate's way of consoling the both of you.

He takes your refusal for aftercare as a sign that you wanted to get over your soulmate by yourself, and it dawns on him that perhaps that’s what he needed to do as well. Acceptance is the first step towards recovery, and for the both of you to move on, really move on, you needed the kind of strength that came from within, and not from another person. He's not sure if he was ready for that.

But it seems that you were.

His dreams elude him that night. It's all vague and a faint sense of unease lingers underneath. Images of the moon and a peculiar kind of warmth. You're wide awake as he stirs in his slumber and press a kiss on his shoulder as he succumbs to sleep once more. It is your final goodbye.

When the morning arrives, it is Sehun who wakes up alone.

[seleneauger]

'quondam' is sad and empty. the way you portrayed the narrator's feelings is mournful and full of longing. i feel as if i was in their place, going through all of these emotions of someone who doesn't love me anymore, and i've never been in love either. it makes me realize that falling out of love happens and it sounds extremely painful to go through. i applaud you for writing such a touching fic, but i'm sad now.

Oh my gosh thank you for such a wonderful comment on Quondam! I wrote it in the middle of a period in my life where I was beginning to understand what love means to me, and in some haze of inspiration, I wrote it after a 20 hour drive.

Falling out of love is more painful because its a slower way of feeling that pain. I want to say that I hope you never feel this way, but at the same time I think it would be somewhat of a loss if these turbulent emotions were never experienced. I hope that you find insight should you experience this, and that you won't lose hope that at the end of these experiences, you will look back and be able to say that it was meaningful.

Thank you for such a lovely ask, and I hope your life is filled with many pockets of joy. It was my intention to make this piece sad, and to hear that it evokes such a response makes me feel fulfilled as a writer. :)

[seleneauger]

123 Ideas for Character Flaws

Absent-minded - Preoccupied to the extent of being unaware of one’s immediate surroundings. Abstracted, daydreaming, inattentive, oblivious, forgetful.

Abusive - Characterized by improper infliction of physical or psychological maltreatment towards another.

Addict - One who is addicted to a compulsive activity. Examples: gambling, drugs, sex.

Aimless - Devoid of direction or purpose.

Alcoholic - A person who drinks alcoholic substances habitually and to excess.

Anxious - Full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried; solicitous.

Arrogant - Having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance. Inclined to social exclusiveness and who rebuff the advances of people considered inferior. Snobbish.

Audacious - Recklessly bold in defiance of convention, propriety, law, or the like; insolent; braze, disobedient.

Bad Habit - A revolting personal habit. Examples: picks nose, spits tobacco, drools, bad body odour.

Bigmouth - A loud-mouthed or gossipy person.

Bigot - One who is strongly partial to one’s own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ.

Blunt - Characterized by directness in manner or speech; without subtlety or evasion. Frank, callous, insensitive, brusque.

Bold - In a bad sense, too forward; taking undue liberties; over assuming or confident; lacking proper modesty or restraint; rude; impudent. Abrupt, brazen, cheeky, brassy, audacious.

Callous - They are hardened to emotions, rarely showing any form of it in expression. Unfeeling. Cold.

Childish - Marked by or indicating a lack of maturity; puerile.

Complex - An exaggerated or obsessive concern or fear. (List specific complex.)

Cruel - Mean to anyone or anything, without care or regard to consequences and feelings.

Cursed - A person who has befallen a prayer for evil or misfortune, placed under a spell, or borne into an evil circumstance, and suffers for it. Damned.

Dependent - Unable to exist, sustain oneself, or act appropriately or normally without the assistance or direction of another.

Deranged - Mentally decayed. Insane. Crazy. Mad. Psychotic.

Dishonest – Given to or using fraud, cheating; deceitful, deceptive, crooked, underhanded.

Disloyal - Lacking loyalty. Unfaithful, perfidious, traitorous, treasonable

Disorder - An ailment that affects the function of mind or body. (List the disorders name if they have one.) See the Mental Disorder List.

Disturbed - Showing some or a few signs or symptoms of mental or emotional illness. Confused, disordered, neurotic, troubled.

Dubious - Fraught with uncertainty or doubt. Undecided, doubtful, unsure.

Dyslexic - Affected by dyslexia, a learning disorder marked by impairment of the ability to recognize and comprehend written words.

Egotistical - Characteristic of those having an inflated idea of their own importance. Boastful, pompous.

Envious - Showing extreme cupidity; painfully desirous of another’s advantages; covetous, jealous.

Erratic - Deviating from the customary course in conduct or opinion; eccentric: erratic behaviour. Eccentric, bizarre, outlandish, strange.

Fanatical - Fanatic outlook or behaviour especially as exhibited by excessive enthusiasm, unreasoning zeal, or wild and extravagant notions on some subject.

Fickle – Erratic, changeable, unstable - especially with regard to affections or attachments; capricious.

Fierce - Marked by extreme intensity of emotions or convictions; inclined to react violently; fervid.

Finicky - Excessively particular or fastidious; difficult to please; fussy. Too much concerned with detail. Meticulous, fastidious, choosy, critical, picky, prissy, pernickety.

Fixated - In psychoanalytic theory, a strong attachment to a person or thing, especially such an attachment formed in childhood or infancy and manifested in immature or neurotic behaviour that persists throughout life. Fetish, quirk, obsession, infatuation.

Flirt -To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures; behaviour intended to arouse sexual interest. Minx. Tease.

Gluttonous - Given to excess in consumption of especially food or drink. Voracious, ravenous, wolfish, piggish, insatiable.

Gruff - Brusque or stern in manner or appearance. Crusty, rough, surly.

Gullible - Will believe any information given, regardless of how valid or truthful it is, easily deceived or duped.

Hard - A person who is difficult to deal with, manage, control, overcome, or understand. Hard emotions, hard hearted.

Hedonistic - Pursuit of or devotion to pleasure, especially to the pleasures of the senses.

Hoity-toity- Given to flights of fancy; capricious; frivolous. Prone to giddy behaviour, flighty.

Humourless - The inability to find humour in things, and most certainly in themselves.

Hypocritical - One who is always contradicting their own beliefs, actions or sayings. A person who professes beliefs and opinions for others that he does not hold. Being a hypocrite.

Idealist - One whose conduct is influenced by ideals that often conflict with practical considerations. One who is unrealistic and impractical, guided more by ideals than by practical considerations.

Idiotic - Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless.

Ignorant - Lacking knowledge or information as to a particular subject or fact. Showing or arising from a lack of education or knowledge.

Illiterate - Unable to read and write.

Immature - Emotionally undeveloped; juvenile; childish.

Impatient - Unable to wait patiently or tolerate delay; restless. Unable to endure irritation or opposition; intolerant.

Impious - Lacking piety and reverence for a god/gods and their followers.

Impish - Naughtily or annoyingly playful.

Incompetent - Unable to execute tasks, no matter how the size or difficulty.

Indecisive - Characterized by lack of decision and firmness, especially under pressure.

Indifferent - The trait of lacking enthusiasm for or interest in things generally, remaining calm and seeming not to care; a casual lack of concern. Having or showing little or no interest in anything; languid; spiritless.

Infamy - Having an extremely bad reputation, public reproach, or strong condemnation as the result of a shameful, criminal, or outrageous act that affects how others view them.

Intolerant - Unwilling to tolerate difference of opinion and narrow-minded about cherished opinions.

Judgemental - Inclined to make and form judgements, especially moral or personal ones, based on one’s own opinions or impressions towards others/practices/groups/religions based on appearance, reputation, occupation, etc.

Klutz - Clumsy. Blunderer.

Lazy - Resistant to work or exertion; disposed to idleness.

Lewd - Inclined to, characterized by, or inciting to lust or lechery; lascivious. Obscene or indecent, as language or songs; salacious.

Liar - Compulsively and purposefully tells false truths more often than not. A person who has lied or who lies repeatedly.

Lustful - Driven by lust; preoccupied with or exhibiting lustful desires.

Masochist - The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused. A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.

Meddlesome - Intrusive in a meddling or offensive manner, given to meddling; interfering.

Meek - Evidencing little spirit or courage; overly submissive or compliant; humble in spirit or manner; suggesting retiring mildness or even cowed submissiveness.

Megalomaniac - A psycho pathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence.

Naïve - Lacking worldly experience and understanding, simple and guileless; showing or characterized by a lack of sophistication and critical judgement.

Nervous - Easily agitated or distressed; high-strung or jumpy.

Non-violent - Abstaining from the use of violence.

Nosey - Given to prying into the affairs of others; snoopy. Offensively curious or inquisitive.

Obsessive - An unhealthy and compulsive preoccupation with something or someone.

Oppressor - A person of authority who subjects others to undue pressures, to keep down by severe and unjust use of force or authority.

Overambitious - Having a strong excessive desire for success or achievement.

Overconfident - Excessively confident; presumptuous.

Overemotional - Excessively or abnormally emotional. Sensitive about themselves and others, more so than the average person.

Overprotective - To protect too much; coddle.

Overzealous - Marked by excessive enthusiasm for and intense devotion to a cause or idea.

Pacifist - Opposition to war or violence as a means of resolving disputes. (Can double as a merit in certain cases)

Paranoid - Exhibiting or characterized by extreme and irrational fear or distrust of others.

Peevish - Expressing fretfulness and discontent, or unjustifiable dissatisfaction. Cantankerous, cross, ill-tempered, testy, captious, discontented, crotchety, cranky, ornery.

Perfectionist - A propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect or does not meet extremely high standards.

Pessimist - A tendency to stress the negative or unfavourable or to take the gloomiest possible view.

Pest - One that pesters or annoys, with or without realizing it. Nuisance. Annoying. Nag.

Phobic – They have a severe form of fear when it comes to this one thing. Examples: Dark, Spiders, Cats

Practical - Level-headed, efficient, and unspeculative. No-nonsense.

Predictable - Easily seen through and assessable, where almost anyone can predict reactions and actions of said person by having met or known them even for a short time.

Proud - Filled with or showing excessive self-esteem and will often shirk help from others for the sake of pride.

Rebellious - Defying or resisting some established authority, government, or tradition; insubordinate; inclined to rebel.

Reckless - Heedless. Headstrong. Foolhardy. Unthinking boldness, wild carelessness and disregard for consequences.

Remorseless - Without remorse; merciless; pitiless; relentless.

Rigorous - Rigidly accurate; allowing no deviation from a standard; demanding strict attention to rules and procedures.

Sadist - The deriving of sexual gratification or the tendency to derive sexual gratification from inflicting pain or emotional abuse on others. Deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from cruelty.

Sadomasochist - Both sadist and masochist combined.

Sarcastic - A subtle form of mockery in which an intended meaning is conveyed obliquely.

Sceptic - One who instinctively or habitually doubts, questions, or disagrees with assertions or generally accepted conclusions.

Seducer - To lead others astray, as from duty, rectitude, or the like; corrupt. To attempt to lead or draw someone away, as from principles, faith, or allegiance.

Selfish - Concerned chiefly or only with oneself.

Self-Martyr - One who purposely makes a great show of suffering in order to arouse sympathy from others, as a form of manipulation, and always for a selfish cause or reason.

Self-righteous - Piously sure of one’s own righteousness; moralistic. Exhibiting pious self-assurance. Holier-than-thou, sanctimonious.

Senile - Showing a decline or deterioration of physical strength or mental functioning, esp. short-term memory and alertness, as a result of old age or disease.

Shallow - Lacking depth of intellect or knowledge; concerned only with what is obvious.

Smart Ass - Thinks they know it all, and in some ways they may, but they can be greatly annoying and difficult to deal with at times, especially in arguments.

Soft-hearted - Having softness or tenderness of heart that can lead them into trouble; susceptible of pity or other kindly affection. They cannot resist helping someone they see in trouble, suffering or in need, and often don’t think of the repercussions or situation before doing so.

Solemn - Deeply earnest, serious, and sober.

Spineless - Lacking courage. Cowardly, wimp, lily-livered, gutless.

Spiteful - Showing malicious ill will and a desire to hurt; motivated by spite; vindictive person who will look for occasions for resentment. Vengeful.

Spoiled - Treated with excessive indulgence and pampering from earliest childhood, and has no notion of hard work, self-care or money management; coddled, pampered. Having the character or disposition harmed by pampering or over-solicitous attention.

Squeamish - Excessively fastidious and easily disgusted.

Stubborn - Unreasonably, often perversely unyielding; bull-headed. Firmly resolved or determined; resolute.

Superstitious - An irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear from an irrational belief that an object, action, or circumstance not logically related to a course of events influences its outcome.

Tactless - Lacking or showing a lack of what is fitting and considerate in dealing with others.

Temperamental - Moody, irritable, or sensitive. Excitable, volatile, emotional.

Theatrical - Having a flair for over dramatizing situations, doing things in a ‘big way’ and love to be ‘centre stage’.

Timid -Tends to be shy and/or quiet, shrinking away from offering opinions or from strangers and newcomers, fearing confrontations and violence.

Tongue-tied - Speechless or confused in expression, as from shyness, embarrassment, or astonishment.

Troublemaker - Someone who deliberately stirs up trouble, intentionally or unintentionally.

Unlucky - Marked by or causing misfortune; ill-fated. Destined for misfortune; doomed.

Unpredictable - Difficult to foretell or foresee, their actions are so chaotic it’s impossible to know what they are going to do next.

Untrustworthy - Not worthy of trust or belief. Backstabber.

Vain - Holding or characterized by an unduly high opinion of their physical appearance. Lovers of themselves. Conceited, egotistic, narcissistic.

Weak-willed - Lacking willpower, strength of will to carry out one’s decisions, wishes, or plans. Easily swayed.

Withdrawn - Not friendly or Sociable. Aloof.

Zealous - A fanatic.

[seleneauger]

Currently employed so I’m closing this! Sometimes you just need to wait and with a little bit of luck, the universe will help you get by. And when those opportunities come, I hope you gain the courage to accept change, and the strength to believe in yourself.

Opening commissions [closed.]

I am currently at a stage in my life where I am idle. I find myself wanting more out of life that is inclined towards my more creative side, as I focused these past years on very technical work and studies. And so if any of you are interested, I am opening writing commissions to help get a very small portion of my finances in order. I’m a little shy when it comes to these kinds of things because I’m not a very established writer, but I think it’ll motivate me to continue writing even on the sidelines because for the last couple of months I have been failing to make words my friend.

My works are usually oneshots, so I will not be writing any series since I’m very weak when it comes to writing complex plot lines. I’m open to writing in various styles, and I find that words flow the easiest when there is a specific theme, word or idea, alongside a genre.

Prices depend on length and the amount of research I have to put in but when I write, I don’t set up a word count goal, and just let the words flow. On my masterlist, the shortest I’ve written was 800+ words for safe haven and roughly 4k words for susurrus;aquiver. 

*Edit: I was advised that I should quantify my rates instead of relying on quality. But I didn’t want to completely remove the fact that I didn’t want to be bound by the word count, so please keep in mind that if you will commission me, I will let the words flow till I believe the piece is something I can proudly publish. Unless you specifically state that I will be bound to a certain word count to fit your budget, then please message or email me so we can discuss further :)

Below are my base prices just so you have an idea of how much I will charge.

Drabbles (Up to 500 words): 3 usd = 1 kofi

Oneshots: 10 USD per 1000 words.

Below are things that I will not write because I think that either I have no experience or knowledge on them, or because forcing myself to write about these things will result in work that I won’t be particularly proud of, and I like to keep my writing curated.

1. Violence and gore

2. Member x Member fics that involve sex/smut. I prefer writing F/M relationships because I feel that I can portray that type of relationship best, but again, you can message me if you’d like to talk about it!

3. Incest, pedophilia, rape, vore

I am willing to write smut as I have written them in the past (though I’ve never published them because they’re very specific scenes that I’d like to incorporate into future works) though I find that my smut is very sensual rather than explicit. You may contact me for samples if you’d like.

Fandoms I am willing to write for (though you can ask me if the fandom you want me to write about is something I am familiar with and we can work it out, I watch a lot of anime after all):

1. BTS

2. Mystic Messenger

3. Haikyuu!!

I am also open to writing creative non-fiction. Feel free to message me for any questions, or if you just want to chat or ask advice!

I also have a kofi if you’d like to support me! https://ko-fi.com/seleneauger

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and if you’ve been reading my works, I am always grateful for your time and feedback. I know my presence here is small, but I’m happy I found people who like my work enough to press the heart/ reblog button and leave me messages. Thank you always, from the bottom of my tiny heart.

[seleneauger]

WIP GAME

// RULES Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Send me an ask with the title that most intrigues or interests you, and I’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it!

tagged by: @enaasteria​

Some don’t have titles yet hehe

Soulmate au

The Moon is Mine

Vague magic au

both typing essays on the plane and helping each other out au

Rambling about insecurities for a story I havent quite conceptualized lol

[seleneauger]

Fan fiction reviews

Imagine you have a coworker who likes to bake. Every week, they bring in a batch of delicious, homemade cookies and leave them in the break room. Next to the plate of cookies is a sign, “If you like my cookies, could you please just leave me a note and tell me what you like about them? The more feedback you leave about what you like, the more incentive I have to bake.” A hundred coworkers walk by and take a cookie. One person leaves a note. “Great cookies! Bake some more soon!”

The next week, once again there are cookies in the break room with the same sign. Once again a hundred people take a cookie and only one person leaves a note. “Nice! More soon!”

Week Three- Once again, a hundred people take a cookie. No one leaves a note.

Week Four- One hundred people take a cookie. No note.

Week Five- There are no cookies. Someone leaves a note. “Where are the cookies? I loved them. Please, please bake some cookies.”

Week Six- There are no cookies. Ten people leave notes. “I miss your cookies. They were my favorites. I loved the chocolate chips. My friend really liked the way you had almonds in the cranberry ones.”

Week Seven- Motivated by the wonderful notes, the baking coworker stays up late to bake the best batch of cookies they have ever made. That week, a hundred people take a cookie. No one leaves a note. 

The co-worker gives up baking for their colleagues.

——————————————–

Please, if you like the fan fiction that you are reading, let your authors know. Stories are abandoned for a myriad of reasons, but it is very, very hard to stay motivated when you receive no positive feedback. If there is a story that you like, whether it is a completed one or a work in progress, please leave an up-lifting comment or review. By doing so, you’re providing that writer with motivation to spend their time and energy creating more stories for you.

And that way, you both win!

[seleneauger]

Opening commissions [closed.]

I am currently at a stage in my life where I am idle. I find myself wanting more out of life that is inclined towards my more creative side, as I focused these past years on very technical work and studies. And so if any of you are interested, I am opening writing commissions to help get a very small portion of my finances in order. I’m a little shy when it comes to these kinds of things because I’m not a very established writer, but I think it’ll motivate me to continue writing even on the sidelines because for the last couple of months I have been failing to make words my friend.

My works are usually oneshots, so I will not be writing any series since I’m very weak when it comes to writing complex plot lines. I’m open to writing in various styles, and I find that words flow the easiest when there is a specific theme, word or idea, alongside a genre.

Prices depend on length and the amount of research I have to put in but when I write, I don’t set up a word count goal, and just let the words flow. On my masterlist, the shortest I’ve written was 800+ words for safe haven and roughly 4k words for susurrus;aquiver. 

*Edit: I was advised that I should quantify my rates instead of relying on quality. But I didn’t want to completely remove the fact that I didn’t want to be bound by the word count, so please keep in mind that if you will commission me, I will let the words flow till I believe the piece is something I can proudly publish. Unless you specifically state that I will be bound to a certain word count to fit your budget, then please message or email me so we can discuss further :)

Below are my base prices just so you have an idea of how much I will charge.

Drabbles (Up to 500 words): 3 usd = 1 kofi

Oneshots: 10 USD per 1000 words.

Below are things that I will not write because I think that either I have no experience or knowledge on them, or because forcing myself to write about these things will result in work that I won’t be particularly proud of, and I like to keep my writing curated.

1. Violence and gore

2. Member x Member fics that involve sex/smut. I prefer writing F/M relationships because I feel that I can portray that type of relationship best, but again, you can message me if you’d like to talk about it!

3. Incest, pedophilia, rape, vore

I am willing to write smut as I have written them in the past (though I’ve never published them because they’re very specific scenes that I’d like to incorporate into future works) though I find that my smut is very sensual rather than explicit. You may contact me for samples if you’d like.

Fandoms I am willing to write for (though you can ask me if the fandom you want me to write about is something I am familiar with and we can work it out, I watch a lot of anime after all):

1. BTS

2. Mystic Messenger

3. Haikyuu!!

I am also open to writing creative non-fiction. Feel free to message me for any questions, or if you just want to chat or ask advice!

I also have a kofi if you’d like to support me! https://ko-fi.com/seleneauger

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and if you’ve been reading my works, I am always grateful for your time and feedback. I know my presence here is small, but I’m happy I found people who like my work enough to press the heart/ reblog button and leave me messages. Thank you always, from the bottom of my tiny heart.