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EVERYONE EAT A TREAT AND PLAY WITH UR WORM

this shit is soooooo infuriating to me like some people have trouble climaxing through NO fault of their own—maybe it’s a natural variation of their bodies maybe it’s medication side effects maybe it’s trauma—it’s actually really common and it’s something that makes a lot of people feel really ashamed and miserable… you haven’t “masturbated yourself into dysfunction” in fact masturbation often helps you get better at figuring out what makes you climax like !!!!!!! and even if you HAVE been hitting the vibe too hard recently you can always cool off for a week or two until you get in the mood again. your clit isn’t ruined forever. christ. this chewed-gum approach to sex simply does not have a basis in fact. pleasure is not a scarce resource

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You’re late. Nine years fucking late.

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HABHSBHABHSABSHABSBASN

here is charlie day’s “meeeeeeeeow” from “kitten mittons” to use as your text alert

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dont tell me this isnt them

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OH MY FUCKING GOD HELP ME

oh my god

they probably celebrated his freedom from the ankle monitor by having sex

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"i dont support your lifestyle, but…" i dont support you breathing actually. im gonna take your lungs now. bye bye :3

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im so fucking gay

i started watching ap bio

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i started watching ap bio

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Come on...

...what did you expect?

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UPDATE

This art is now Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman approved 😎 LFG

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Michael’s such a fucking coward I’m sorry. Like I love him right, pookie snoockums special white man etc etc, but he hasn’t confronted an ugly part of himself since he was fifteen tops. He aligns himself with men obsessed with machismo while regularly lapsing into the emotional histrionics of a fur wearing champagne sipping matron in an old movie. He’s got a therapist he lies to and a daughter he buys love from, he scorns Trevor at the event of his death & reassures Franklin that he made the right choice only to go on to wear mourning for him & blame Franklin entirely for a killing that he co-signed, the killing of a man who he knew for decades longer than Franklin did. He judges his son for laziness and recreational drug use while acknowledging that he was already a career criminal at his age, simultaneously refusing to say out loud the part about how Jimmy’s stunted emotional state is likely the result of the very criminal lifestyle he’s lionizing in the first place. He’s a dramatic delusional bitch and he will never die.

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"You were in my dreams last night" yeah our souls have been clawing through our chests to get to each other since we met but I'm glad you noticed

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someone take me out please

Dear Forgiveness, I saved a plate for you.

Frank Bidart, Half-light: Collected Poems 1965-2016 // House, M.D. 3.20 "House Training" // Hamilton // Touch Me from Spring Awakening // Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, Gift

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his face betrays him CONSTANTLY

shout out to the 1000 yard stare wilson does when he's desperately trying not to laugh at something house did in case it encourages him

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Definitely a real House episode:

Wilson: house, you need to stop taking so many painkillers

House: you need to stop cheating on your wife

Wilson: pshhft. I'm not cheating on my wife

House: sure you do, at least according to your new socks *holding a pair of socks*

Wilson: wh- h.. how did you get that

House: peeped into your sock drawer while I was doing your wife

Wilson: *rolls his eyes and snatches his socks* it was one dinner, with a colleague. I am not cheating on my wife

House: yeah, you take all your colleagues to [fancy restaurant name]? It's a nice place, kosher, good wine, even better steaks. I'm jealous, why did you never invite me? are you breaking up with me? *sarcastic puppy dog eyes*

Wilson: House-

House: I thought we had a good tuing going there, that's a shame, even bought new underwear *holding a thong that was definitely left in Wilson's office*

Wilson: *snatches the thong and frantically looks around to make sure nobody saw* ...unbelievable. you can be a real asshole sometimes, you know?

House: takes one to..... *stops mid sentence, tilds his head for a second, then starts walking away*

Wilson: what, you're breaking my heart and then walking away? I thought we had a good thing going on. *scoffs, then looks back at house to see he's still walking away* wait, where are you going?

House, shouting over his back: WE NEED TO CHECK THE PATIENT'S ASSHOLE

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huh

huh.

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It's important to push back as hard as possible against the idea that the outside world should be entirely comfortable and should feel completely safe (which is meaningfully different from actually being safe) because when this goes unchecked you end up with people who think that the sentence for being annoying should be death. This is maybe the most apparent in how people talk about drug use and homelessness; I spoke with a woman this summer who told me that she hoped her neighbors overdosed and died to "teach them a lesson" because they have frequent overnight guests, something which is objectively mildly annoying and not meaningfully dangerous. Unhoused people are incarcerated, displaced, brutalized, and left for dead because they annoy people and offend people's sensibilities. The inability to just walk away from an inconvenient or unpleasant situation, to just manage annoyance and inconvenience and discomfort, kills people all the fucking time.