scrletscldier

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my thoughts on the kiss of life situation (as someone who ult’d them and biased julie 💀):

1. i’m not a part of the affected community, so please take whatever i say next with a grain of salt. to those in the affected community- and especially those who spent money and time on kiol- im sorry.

2. this entire thing is calling to mind the impact vs. intent argument. i used to be in the party of “you can do pretty much anything and as long as i know you didn’t mean it, you can still be forgiven and change.” that was extremely naive, and the thought process of a much younger me lol.

now, i’m not the type of person to make judgment calls on those who i don’t know personally. i honestly think that it can be very hard to formulate accurate opinions on people based on the little we see through social media or through the (oftentimes biased) secondhand account of them from others. which is why id give them the benefit of the doubt: intent >>> impact. why would i consider you a bad person when i don’t know if you meant it?

but sometimes, there are moments like this, when the harmful impact of someone’s actions is enough to get me to never want to find out if they meant it or not. they did something incredibly racist, and admitted to knowing it is. i’m going to take their word for it and treat them like they want to be treated: like racists.

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ABBOTT ELEMENTARY Melissa Schemmenti and Mr. Johnson -> 4x17 - Karaoke

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I have realized that the perfect form of media must have a delicate balance between absolutely heart wrenching pure emotional devastation and the most ridiculous nonsense you have ever seen in your whole life

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if ur seeing this go stream the music video for palmera by xolo mariduena

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some times im okay with settling for a 9-5 job and then i see something like severance and realize how badly i want to be a filmmaker 😭

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one last thing about severance (who am i kidding lol): helly r being at the end of that hallway was not her “being cruel”/being helena. i don’t even think that was her being selfish, like many are saying. i think that that was helly’s “orpheus looks back” moment.

helly r loves mark s. not only that, she loves him enough to show empathy to his outie. to help him not only free gemma, but to allow mark s to become mark scout and go with her, even if that means the end of lumon and her eventual death.

so, i think that’s why she has to see him go. not to be manipulative, not to beg him to stay. but because staring death in the face, helly knows she loves mark, and if she must spend one of her last moments alive seeing the only person she will ever love leave her for someone else, it will have always been enough, and she will have loved him for as long as she lived.

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also i'm such a gemma girlie. i don't mean in relation to mark or vs helly i don't care about any of that i'm a gemma girl forever. it's me and her. what if you thought you were eurydice until the last second until you turned around just in time to realize you were orpheus

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i fully respect the decision mark s. made because i would have made the exact same one if i was in his position. if both of my options are getting me killed, i’m choosing the one where i die with the person i love, and maybe get an extra hour or two of life. why would i walk out of that door and die without taking any possible chance to fight? why would anyone expect another human being to just do that? why should mark s. just do what his outie says, when it’s going to cost him and the people he loves their lives? mark scout, devon and cobel miscalculated by assuming mark s. would be okay with dying. mark scout in particular fucked up by assuming his innie had no agency from the very beginning of those recordings - because even after all that mark s. did for them (he is the reason mark scout even found out gemma was still alive!), they still don’t see innies as people.

i also don’t think he was trying to screw over mark scout or say fuck you to him and gemma and their happy ending at all; he was just exercising HIS autonomy and making the decision HE wanted to make. to buy himself more time with the one life he’s been given.

his allegiance was also rightfully with the very few people he knew and loved. he had no allegiance to mark scout and gemma, but still did an incredibly kind thing by helping gemma escape - because he is a kind person. but assuming he’s kind enough to just choose to give up his own life without a fight is ridiculous.

mark s. has had literally had no control or say in his entire fucking life. him running in the hallway with helly, towards what they believe to be certain death - it’s cathartic. it was the right decision. i don’t think it came out of nowhere at all; they have been setting the stage for this all season, with the very first hint being in the new opening sequence where helly and gemma glitch and blur together.

what does it mean to be human? mark s. just told you

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I feel for Gemma so, SO much after this episode.

She wakes up and her husband is there. The same man whose name she cried in the elevator. The man she’s missed for two years. And his hair is longer and his beard is gone but he’s smiling, and she’s smiling, and they fall into each other and the blood on his face mixes with the tears in her eyes and it doesn’t even matter.

She drags him through the scarlet, screaming halls — she’s fast from whatever she does on the days she wears a tracksuit, he’s slow from sitting on the couch and crying/drinking until he falls asleep — stepping over a dead man and into the elevator and treasuring the warmth of his hand. That sick, perverted doctor runs to get her back, but her husband steps between them and closes those doors.

And it is then Gemma knows. She doesn’t need to be afraid anymore.

But then she blinks and everything she’s wanted, everything she’s dreamed about for two years is staring her right in the face, an inch of glass between them — and no matter how hard she bangs on the door, all he does is stare at her like a bad dream he’s already forgetting.

She sobs for him. She screams his name. And all he can do is back away and take another woman’s hand.

Gemma’s dreams come true for a few, wonderful seconds. But that just makes it all the worse. Like loosening the grip around the head of a drowning man to let him come up for air — all her temporary relief did is remind her how much she is suffering and plunge her deeper into the pit of her grief.

This is the testing floor elevator all over again. Except this time, everything she wanted is not only taken from her.

It gives her a long, sorrowful look. Turns around. And walks away.

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some quotes i feel are quite timely for the severance s2 finale:

“A person was only ever himself. So much of what they became, who they were, was inseverable, irreversible. If to others that meant irredeemable, then so be it.” — The Atlas Paradox

“i don’t know how to compartmentalize love, or how to make you matter to me less than what i mean to myself.” — Good Grief

“‘Love is the fire that halts a blade and conflicts a heart. Love is the veil that obscures the truth, that turns all the world to darkness until it’s too late to see the light’” — Heart of Flames

“She did not regret the decisions she’d made, but she did regret that she could no longer look at Maro without seeing the impassable distance between the realities they inhabited” — Jade War

“‘Maybe a person doesn’t truly feel alive until he fights to stay that way’” — Midnight, Water City

“Love. I think of the ways it can trap us, make us do things that can destroy us. And how we do it anyway” — Steelstriker

“Anyone who dares to love cannot make it through intact.” — Huh Yunjin

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severance s2 finale spoilers

i’m gonna stand by this: that was helly r realizing that she has wants and needs, too. she may have been selfish, but she was not being cruel, although that’s what it seems because the show prior to that point conditioned us to cheer for outie mark and gemma.

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also i'm such a gemma girlie. i don't mean in relation to mark or vs helly i don't care about any of that i'm a gemma girl forever. it's me and her. what if you thought you were eurydice until the last second until you turned around just in time to realize you were orpheus

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whoever coined the phrase that the people closest to you/the people you admire the most are also the most capable of hurting you was so real for that

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after severance has its run, i think its paradise’s turn to shine because WHAT THE FUCK 😭 i had my doubts with the first episode, but the second erased them all. i still think the writing leaves things to be desired, but the world-building is so interesting and the performances from the main cast are incredible. it’s been a while since i felt hunger games or divergent vibes from anything but paradise genuinely feels like a love letter to dystopian media.

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just finished severance 02x04 and i just-

• reintegrated mark fucked helena. :/ i hate you writers but also they deserve awards for this show

• “turn her back” OH JOHN TURTURRO YOU ARE SO GOATED

• helena turning back to helly underwater PLS GIVE THE CINEMATOGRAPHERS AWARDS

• in conclusion i genuinely haven’t been this confused since watching attack on titan and i hope this doesn’t turn out like lost 2.0 💀

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how does severance keep pulling up with such celebrated talent 😭 first john turturro then patricia arquette THEN CHRISTOPHER WALKEN and THEN GWENDOLYN CHRISTIE 😭😭😭

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Xolo Mariduena is not just a man. He is THE man. Whenever he speaks i just want to stand up and applaud.