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Please tell Stelle not to push the red button

what have you done

now she's alerted god damn it

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You know what would be REALLY funny of Hoyoverse to do?

Have THE Herta’s kit just be a buffed version of Regular Herta’s kit, but then allow both versions of Herta to be on the same team at the same time.

Bonus points if having both gives you a special option to just have a full team of just KURU KURU

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StelleFly Week 2024 : Day 1 - Beginnings.

"Nobody ever fell in love without being a little bit brave."

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𝓣𝓱𝓮

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I can’t believe she’s just named THE Herta.

extraterrestrial satellite communication ✧ “the” herta

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Bringing this post back for Stellefly week 2024

also:

Looks at MC doing something unhinged and falls in love a little harder

has a good relationship with a songstress associated with their theme song. also often shipped with said songstress

has an adversarial relationship with a motherly woman who wants to revive something she probably shouldn't. also occasionally shipped with said scientist

hates vermin/pests due to backstory

bodily carried the MC despite being. uh. vertically challenged in comparison

does a little war crimes on the side. as a treat

I've already concluded that Trailblazer = Byleth, but today I have decided

(i usually put the similarities in the tags but there are SO MANY between Firefly and Edelgard so)

Has a traumatic backstory where they were bioengineered into a living weapon by an evil organization.

Said bioengineering dramatically shortened their life expectancy and resulted in their hair lightening and their eyes losing color

Said bioengineering caused both of them to speedrun life and their life goals

The faction that bioengineered them caused the deaths of their siblings, leaving them as the only lonely survivor

Nominally part of a faction opposed to the MC

Masqueraded as an edgy dramatic armored male warrior associated with fire using a voice changer

First met the MC in a casual, civilian setting and did mundane things with them

Opened up about their backstory on a rooftop with the MC

Has romantic moments with the MC regardless of MC's gender

Is actually a giant sap about their friends

Likes sweets

Has a lanky emo friend with a growly voice associated with death

(if you've got more put them in the tags)

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Astronaut Mark Kelly smuggled a gorilla suit into the ISS, without telling the rest of the crew

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Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

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Honkai Impact 3rd - Flowering Spring Merch Series

flowers + their symbolism under the cut!

kiana - pansy - longing, daydreaming, remembrance, unconditional love

mei - clematis - beauty, elegance, transformation, spiritual growth

bronya - morning glory - perseverance, courage, youth, pursuit of knowledge

seele - forget-me-nots - true love, remembrance, spirituality, sincerity

fu hua - snapdragons - strength, courage, resilience, good luck

senti - nemophila (penny black) - victory, cynicism, forgiveness, gratitude, new beginnings

veliona - spider lily - destruction, beauty, passion, isolation, abandonment

elysia - cherry blossom - love, feminine sexuality, transience, renewal

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Pt2

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wow it's almost like. i enjoy dramatic identity reveals

(bonus under the cut)

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After years of doing the “describe your favorite video game badly” meme, I think I finally won

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Happy birthday to AO3 🎂🎉

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2023 rainbow ✨️

Happy New Year!!!

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casual