schizotypal-culture-is

[schizotypal-culture-is]

schizotypal culture is being happyest when im delusional

Sent in: Feb. 3, 2025

[schizotypal-culture-is]

stpd + having a cold culture is there are spiders in my throat and nose :( and like i know theres probably not actually spiders in there but :( it feels like theres spiders in there :(

Sent in: Jan. 28, 2025

[schizotypal-culture-is]

Schizotypal culture is having your general anxiety, paranoia, magical thinking and ideas of reference all getting triggered by the stress of the current political climate in the USA.

[schizotypal-culture-is]

✨ THIS BLOG IS NO LONGER MARKED AS SPAM ✨

[schizotypal-culture-is]

(Flag in pfp is by @/neopronouns)

Welcome to pdconfessions! I made this blog because I wanted a space for people to confess things that won’t shit on them for experiencing pd symptoms like the general public might. Confessions don’t have to be directly related to pds at all as long as you have one/suspect you might

Claimed sign offs:

-🧪

- 🌸🩵

-🫐

~ 🎱💋

-🪰

-🎀🤍

- 💞💥

-🦷

— 🪽💫

-🐈

-☂️

-🧸🧷

-💿

Tagging people for reach is a thing I’ve seen people do sooo, tagging some of my favorite pd blogs

@aspd-culture @avpdcultureis @avpd-polls @borderline-culture-is @bpd-polls @dpdcultureis @hpdcultureis @hpd-poles @narcissisticpdcultureis @npd-polls @funnier-w-szpd @szpd-polls @schizoid-culture-is @schizotypal-culture-is @schizotypalpd-culture-is

[schizotypal-culture-is]

i hauve a cold

[schizotypal-culture-is]

Schizotypal culture is logging and closing out of all my apps when I have to make a phone call so the person on the other line can’t learn things about me.

[schizotypal-culture-is]

you ever feel like you were born with something rotten inside you and if people get close enough they’re gonna find out

[schizotypal-culture-is]

schizotypal culture is being scared to do embarrassing things even when alone because of the paranoia that people will know what you did there even after you leave, as if rooms have their own browser history

Sent in: Dec. 13, 2024

[schizotypal-culture-is]

Stpd culture is thinking that people are dropping random hints that they are in love with you, like if someone always gets off the bus after I do I'm immediately like "oh god they're in love with me😨" (scary for me bc im aroace and really opposed to the idea of ppl liking me like that)

-💥💥💥

Sent in: Dec. 12, 2024

I’m going to tag this post as “erotomania” even though it’s different than the usual presentation. I’m curious to know if a-spectrum people have a negative experience with erotomania (as you described, believing someone is in love with you and reacting negatively to that) compared to the typical presentation (believing someone is in love with you and reacting positively).

[schizotypal-culture-is]

HI! this is 💥💥💥 here! I haven't really been on tumblr a while and I forgot to write this, but, thank you so much for handling the sign off thing the way you did

I really liked that you included a response for either reason it might have happened, and that yall now have a sign off list so it doesn't happen again

It was sucky in the moment because it definitely scared me a bit, but your response really helped me calm down and realize that this blog is like a little community of people for those who are often misunderstood or ignored <3

Sorry this is kinda sappy but i really do want to let you know that yall are doing a great job ^_^

-💥💥💥

Sent in: Dec. 12, 2024

This is very touching, thank you!

[schizotypal-culture-is]

There seems to be a glitch with some of the asks.

I dont have the option to “answer”, only “post”, and it won’t let me go back and edit an answer or tags into the post after it’s been posted. 😭

I don’t know if it has to do with being marked as spam, or some other dysfunction with tumblr.

I apologize to whomever this may end up effecting, and I’ll submit another ticket to staff!

In the meantime, I’ll queue up the asks that I can!

[schizotypal-culture-is]

stpd culture is thinking that you r parents should’ve known something was up when you started voicing your fear/concern that language textbooks weren’t actually presenting the language: that instead they were all just written by people who didn’t actually want anyone to learn to speak their language and so they just made stuff up so that when you try to speak it everyone knows you’re an outsider and that this is being done specifically to mess with you

(But instead they just went: “Huh. It’s not, though” like it was just a far-fetched what-if 💀)

-🐦‍🔥

[schizotypal-culture-is]

me when no one knows who i am or talks to me: this is horrible i might as well not exist

me when people know me and remember things about me: this is horrible im practically being surveilled

[schizotypal-culture-is]

Hi I was wondering if you had any information or knew where I could find information about splitting in personality disorders. I know you've discussed splitting in STPD before, but I'm curious to know what splitting might look light in other PDs, like SZPD, AVPD, or ASPD

- am I free to claim 🐦‍🔥?

Sent in: Nov. 29, 2024

You sure are, I’ve added it to the list of claimed sign-offs!

Unfortunately when it comes to PDs other than BPD, you’re not going to find any papers that explicitly state, talk about and study splitting. When it comes to splitting in PDs, it more like understanding what splitting is and how it applies to the other PDs.

This is the source I personally give to people who want to understand what the actual splitting mechanism is:

While this source talks about splitting in BPD and NPD (also known online as “Narc High” and “Narc Crash”) it can be applied to any of the PDs.

If you want a well rounded understanding of splitting, I’d personally suggest reading up on attachment theory, as splitting in PDs come from disordered attachment. Attachment theory of the foundation for the splitting mechanism in the brain. And also the Theory of Structural Dissociation, but you only need a surface level understanding of that, as the TOSD focuses on CDDs. But splitting is what makes PDs a narrative disorder, along with the other disorders on the TOSD. Essentially, splitting works the same as traumatic memory.

And finally, I don’t mind giving a quick rundown of what splitting looks like in these PDs!

Disclaimer: the language being used for these PDs are used as an umbrella. Like with StPD splitting on Ostracization vs Safety Through Acceptance, what counts as ostracization and what counts as acceptable is highly individualized and subjective.

SzPD

The schizoid split is Engulfment vs Isolation. Due to ipseity disturbances in SzPD creating a weak sense of self in SzPD, a pwSzPD has weak or no boundaries between themself and others. This leaves the pwSzPD feeling “engulfed” or “fully taken over/invaded by” people they socialize with. Since socialization feels invasive and pwSzPD loose their sense of self when socializing, they Isolate. The Schizoid Dilemma is when a pwSzPD wants socialization when isolating, and isolation when socializing. Isolation doesn’t help a pwSzPD when it comes to their lack of sense of self, and they can feel as though they cease to exist in a different way than they do when socialization. So this causes a pwSzPD to constantly go back and forth between socializing to the point of engulfment and isolating to the point of loneliness, trying to find equilibrium and balance between the two. Due to the nature of SzPD, a pwSzPD will never really feel connected to other people or their surroundings, hence the Dilemma.

You can read more about it here:

http://scielo.isciii.es/scielo.php?script=sci_arttext&pid=S0213-61632010000100005

The above link also talks about SzPD as it relates to Attachment Theory, so I won’t get into here.

AvPD

The avoidant split is Inferiority vs Acceptance, but as an affirmation of like… self worth and being Allowed To Exist, if that makes sense? Like with the other schizotaxic PDs, pwAvPD experience social anxiety and social isolation, however in AvPD it comes from a sense of Inferiority, like they’re not allowed or it’s not safe to have opinions, thoughts, feelings. They don’t want to open themselves up to judgment or criticism out of fear of rejection and ridicule due to the their intense social anxiety (and like paranoia and social anxiety in StPD, this can easily become a self perpetuating cycle in AvPD, where social anxiety feeds feelings of inferiority and feelings of inferiority feeds social anxiety).

And the opposite of this is Acceptance/Safety, where the pwAvPD feels as though it’s safe and they’re Allowed To Exist. It’s safe for them to speak up, have thoughts and opinions, have self-expression, etc. They don’t feel as though they will be judged, critiqued and ridiculed for every little thing. This is different than how I’ve described StPD Acceptance/Safety, where social anxiety fueled paranoia leads pwStPD to think being perceived as Weird/Odd/Strange/other wise Not Fitting In = Ostracization = Being Harmed, and Acceptance = Safety (like the phrase “there’s safety in the herd”. You won’t be subjected to Whatever Your Paranoia Says Is Harm if you’re accepted by people). Whereas in AvPD Acceptance/Safety (and there may be a better word for “Environment Free Of Chronic Harsh Criticism”) is about being in a space that safe and free of criticism, rejection, judgment, etc.

AvPD as it relates to Attachment Theory is either: a.) growing up in an environment where as a child the pwAvPD was criticized and judged by a caretaker for everything they do (“sit up straight”, “you’re eating gross”, “you’re breathing too loud”, “why are you wearing those shoes, you should wear the ones you got for your birthday”, “you’re hobby is stupid”, “I didn’t ask for your opinion”, also a “children are seen not heard” environment) and this created social anxiety and a hyper awareness of one’s self and behaviors that feeds the social anxiety, they were realized to believe that everything they do is Wrong or an Inconvenience and they’ve internalized this (traumagenic AvPD) and/or b.) schizotaxia (genetic predisposition to schizo-spec disorder): the child was born with an immense social anxiety and developed the AvPD personality structure naturally (endogenic AvPD)/an abusive environment with harsh criticism and judgment interacted with the genetic predisposition that was already there.

AsPD

I’d like to start off by saying I’ve seen mild discourse around what words to use to describe the AsPD split (also called AsPD High/Crash online) and I’d just like to say, please remember I have StPD, and while I do my best to run an as informative blog as possible, Words Are Not My Forte, as is the nature of StPD.

With that being said, I think the best way to describe the antisocial split would be Autonomy vs Powerlessness.

Traumagenic AsPD often forms when a child is subjected to abuse and their abusers essentially use their authority as a means to justify and uphold their abuse against the child. This means that pwAsPD have an inherent distrust of authority figures, as they were raised by people to abused their authority. Therefore, a pwAsPD needs their own authority/power/control/autonomy over themselves and their life because they can’t trust authority figures, and have an aversion/trauma to authority and authority figures.

AsPD need for Autonomy basically underlines all the AsPD symptoms from novelty seeking (including risk taking behavior, which can be dangerous/illegal), lying and manipulation (an example would be what pwAsPD call “parasitic relationships”- manipulating or using someone you don’t care about to take care of your needs is safer than entering a relationship with someone who have feelings for, because feelings are a vulnerability that can be exploited and lead to Loss Of Autonomy), etc.

The opposite side of the Autonomy split is Powerlessness/loss of control/loss of autonomy/etc. With the loss of Autonomy, a pwAsPD will feel as if they completely lack control/power/autonomy of themself and their own life. Due to their abusive upbringing, they were raised to believe you can only have Autonomy/Authority/Power/Control (like their abuser) or be Powerless (like them as a child). The feeling of Powerlessness will cause the pwAsPD to get back their Autonomy, and because pwAsPD don’t have the same moral compass as prosocial people (they were raised to only care for themself, since their caregiver failed to raise them and protect them from the abuse they went through PLUS they inherently distrust/are adverse to/are traumatized by authority figures and the law) they will go to whatever means it takes to get their Autonomy back (this covers diagnostic criteria like: irritability/aggression, blatant disregards safety of others, lack of remorse since they feel provoked/justified in enacting revenge/“righting a wrong”, even if the pwAsPD is the only one who views it that way).

And again, while these are all broad terms explaining a general phenomena, what counts as Engulfment vs Isolation, Inferiority vs Acceptance, Autonomy vs Powerlessness is highly individualized and subjective. Not everyone with AsPD is going to feel powerless and striped of their autonomy in the same situations. Not everyone with AvPD is going to feel safe to express an opinion in the same circumstances. Not everyone with SzPD will feel engulfed by the same socialization. Personal thread holds, stress, trauma and support or lack thereof are all variables that can have an effect in when, why, how and how often a person experiences splitting. And remember, splitting is a part of the BPD diagnostic criteria because of how frequently pwBPD experience it. PwAvPD or pwPPD are more likely to be on just one side of the split most of the time. PwAvPD will feel Inferior more often than not, and pwPPD will feel Unsafe more often than not. That’s okay! It’s still splitting.

[schizotypal-culture-is]

Schizotypal culture is turning on the radio whenever you have to make a decision to see what they think

Sent in: Nov. 4, 2024

[schizotypal-culture-is]

am I the only one that doesn't understand the difference between

"suspicious or paranoid thoughts"

and

"excessive social anxiety that does not lessen with familiarity and is related mainly to paranoid fears"

they're the same thing?☹️

Sent in: Oct. 30, 2024

It can be hard to tell the difference, since the two do feed into each other and create a hellish feedback loop of doom!

But generally speaking, paranoia is specifically the belief that people are out to harm you in some way. A lot of times, paranoia is the vague, nebulous feeling that an unnamed and unknown someone or someones have ill intent towards you, and you have to Watch Out. It’s believing the worst in each individual human being you come across and automatically assuming they can’t be trusted and will hurt you the moment you give them a reason too. A personal example I have of paranoia is when someone is driving next to me on the road, especially if they come up from behind or go around me, I think they’re going to shoot me in the head. I dont know this person in the car next to me. I have no idea if they’re rage prone. I dont even think road rage has anything to do with me thinking this, I just panic and think they’re driving up next to me so they can shoot and kill me. My paranoia is completely unfounded. Me and my vehicle have been shot exactly 0 times in my life. As far as I know, I don’t have any enemies, none who want to kill me, anyways. But I just Know™️ when someone drives next to me on the road they’re going to shoot me, and I can’t relax until they turn off or drive far enough out ahead of me that I feel safe. This is paranoia without social anxiety. There’s no social interaction at all between me and the driver, but I’m still being paranoia.

Social anxiety on the other hand often comes about being put in a situation that makes you afraid you’ll be judged badly in some way, often about being perceived as “stupid” or “weird”. People with social anxiety tend to be hyperaware of themselves and their actions while socializing with others and judge themselves critically. Sometimes, socially anxious people don’t come off in the way they fear they do, other times, social anxiety came make someone behave in a way that’s restrictive or visibly anxious, and that can put others off. The social anxiety then becomes a perpetuating cycle. Social isolation can also perpetuate social anxiety! A personal example is I go to the gas station every week. During the holiday break, it threw off my driving schedule because I wasn’t at work, so I went a week without going to the gas station. By the time I go back to the gas station, I get social anxiety with the clerk, because too much time has gone by since I last interacted with her, and that tolerance I built up went away. I check three times to make sure I know what pump I’m at, and I make sure I have my money out so I dont annoy her and customers digging around in my wallet for it. I don’t want to look like a fumbling bumbling idiot and ruin everyone’s day by making them wait on me. But what if I forget the pump number. What if I drop my cash. What if the pump doesn’t work and I have to come back in, but there wasn’t a problem with the pump and it was just me and then the clerk hates me because I made her go outside and-

Of course, in StPD, social anxiety feeds paranoia, which turns around and feeds social anxiety. PwStPD split on being perceived as Weird/Odd/Strange and therefore being Ostracized vs feeling as though we’re Accepted and Safe. This is because social anxiety feeds paranoia, and we believe being Bad At Socializing makes us Unsafe, that people Want To Hurt Us. This innate paranoia of people then makes it harder to “act normal” and not be socially anxious.

Using the had station as an example. Say I go up to the counter, and I ask for the clerk to put the money on the pump, and I tell her the correct pump. Then she asks how much I want and I forget the amount I have in my hand. I can either shove the money at her awkwardly or count the money again. I choose to count the money but I’m nervous and have to count twice because there’s a line behind me. I tell her the amount and hand her the cash. She finishes the transaction. By the time I finish pumping the gas, the guy who was in line behind me has come out of the store. I get in my vehicle, and I start to pull out. The guy who was behind me in the store is pulling out behind me. Now I’m paranoia he wants to Do Something because I took too long in the line. I peel out of the gas station parking lot as fast as I can, but it doesn’t matter because the guy is going the other way down the road. I think maybe he was just giving me a warning with intimidation, but I’m at least safe for now.

Another example would be social anxiety at work with coworkers, or online friends. Sometimes I think they all have a secret group chat that everyone but me is in so they can talk about how cringey I am and how much they hate me. Interacting with my coworkers or online friends with the belief that they monitor and mock me for everything I do compounds the social anxiety. Feeling that I can socialize wrong feeds the paranoia, because of this bullying I believe is going on behind my back. The more paranoid I get, the more socially anxious I get. The more socially anxious I get, the more paranoid I get. Once I think there’s no hope of me ever fitting in, I isolate, because I’ve split. I don’t want to waste my time trying to prove myself worthy of acceptable if I’m just never going to Fit In, so id rather stay by myself. This way, I can stop being concerned about whatever group chat may or may not exist, and the more I limit my interaction with my coworkers and online friends, the less they have to talk about me.

I hope this info helps! It can be hard to tell the difference in StPD because these two symptoms do very much intertwine and feed off one another. Also, given the egosyntonic nature of personality disorders, it can be hard to imagine someone having social anxiety without paranoia, and paranoia without social anxiety.