sayyidahdoesntknow

[sayyidahdoesntknow]

Pure Poetry

When in difficulties

She looked at the constellations as if they were a map and she was lost,

She let poetry describe the feelings that she could not comprehend,

While the others left, the stars stayed with her at all cost.

The stars were her lover and poetry was her friend.

She loved the dark 'cause they help her see the stars,

She loved the stars 'cause the stars healed her scars.

She is the kind of girl that we find in books,

The kind of girl who's more than just good looks.

That girl is you.

That is me.

That girl,

Herself,

is Pure Poetry

~Sayyidah

[sayyidahdoesntknow]

― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

[sayyidahdoesntknow]

Rose Petals

There’s a silly thing I used to do when I was kid

I’d throw a blanket on a circle of chairs to make a tent where I hid

I’d curl up in my blanket with my favourite book to read

And absentmindedly pick the skin off the side of my thumb until It’d start to bleed

My favourite colour was purple

my grandma’s house was that colour

Though I couldn’t help but notice each year it would get duller

But it wasn’t just the walls

The once bright red roses did too

They aren’t as saturated this summer

Is there something I could do?

I watched my grandma water them when they looked thirsty in the morning

Maybe they’re a little thirsty

The sun is scorching

So I watered each and every one of them generously and endlessly for hours a day

Making sure every thorn and every leaf survives this May

May turned to June

June to July

August came knocking on my bedroom window

the sky was pretty

It was the colour of my pillow

It was almost the time of year where the leaves turn brown

Hopefully this year I’ve watered them enough for them to stick around

I hopped out of bed and ran to the garden

“I bet the roses look so bright under the grey sky”

The flowers where wilted

Slouching from the stem

Even though I’ve spent my whole summer nurturing and watering them

Did I not give enough water?

Did I give too much?

Why did they wilt?

Why do the petals fall when touched?

When I’ve been doing my best to get you to stay

All through out July

All though out June

All through out May

I could’ve read my favourite book

Under my blanket tent all day

I could’ve ran along with my friends when they called me to play

I could’ve had the best summer ever but decided anyway

I’d rather spend it all trying to make you stay

There’s a silly thing I used to do when I was kid

Turns out I still do it to this day

I try to fix things thinking it’s my fault they’re that way.

~ Sayyidah

14th September 2023

[sayyidahdoesntknow]

The Rhythmic Tapping

You fall from the sky

like a feather from a bird,

You make me feel loved

without uttering a word,

You're lifeless

Yet full of emotion,

So, please

fill my empty heart

like how you once filled the ocean.

The rhythmic tapping

against my window,

The subtle colors of a forming rainbow,

The delay between the thunder

and the lightning,

And watching the sky

-for a second-

brightening.

If the sky can scream and cry,

Then why can't I?

'Cause I have clouds of my own,

That sometimes get heavy too,

And unlike the sky, mine isn't shown,

Mine are heavy from constantly holding it back,

And some days i just crack,

In those days strength is what I lack,

In those days,

I wish for it to rain,

So, it could wash away my pain,

Along with the thoughts in my brain,

And

-once again-

Make me sane.

~Sayyidah

(I wrote this at 13 don't come for me pls)

[sayyidahdoesntknow]

The Biggest Hypocrite On Earth

I write about beauty

Like how a child writes about his mother

He loves her with all his heart

But he will never know what it's like to be her

And I dream about love

More often than I sleep

I find it in the walls,

Carved in concrete

And on the street

And though it's all that surrounds me

It never seeps into my skin

I am the absence of all the things

that I love and could've been

~ Sayyidah

[sayyidahdoesntknow]

ngl this is so me

[sayyidahdoesntknow]

Moonchild

Sleep,

Rest your eyes,

Moonchild,

The night is taunting,

It'll drive you wild,

I know you have been,

Through quite a rough time,

But a you are a rock,

And just like a rock you will,

With this pressure,

Become a dime.

Sleep,

Rest your eyes,

Moonchild,

I will burn the sorrow,

You have piled,

I will teach the world to be kind,

But for now you must,

Clear your mind,

And leave your problems,

And your worries,

Behind.

Sleep,

Rest your eyes,

Moonchild,

You've found a way out,

Of misery and sorrow,

Of woes and doubt,

There's no need to cry,

There is nothing to worry about

Cause there will be no tomorrow,

And they will live on,

Without you,

Because you took,

Another route.

~ Sayyidah

[sayyidahdoesntknow]

[sayyidahdoesntknow]

Abstract

Staring at her mirror

With trembling hands

She think of herself as mud

Surrounded by golden sand,

Days are to long

She barely survives

Nights are too short

For her tired eyes

In an art gallery

She wishes to be the girl in a forest

Lost within the trees

Or the snow on Mount Everest

Or a ship sailing the seven seas

Perhaps the daisies in a still motion painting

Perhaps a picture of a warrior in training

But she is neither the girl in a forest

Nor the snow atop Everest

Nor the warrior with a sword in her fist

She is not the ship amidst the sea

She is not the daisies

And she never will be

She is the splash of red on an empty canvas

A beautifully perfect mess

She, indeed, is art

Though nobody understands it

When wind blows through your paintbrush bristles

She is the pattern of water when it ripples

She is abstract

And she shouldn't think of herself

As anything less.

~Sayyidah

[sayyidahdoesntknow]

My birthday !!!

December 7

the time i’m losing—it will hurt if i allow myself to notice it. so perhaps i simply won’t: perhaps I’ll let it go. (i know it all will come due in the end, but thank god, that is long and far away.)

[sayyidahdoesntknow]

i am not my mother and i am not my father but a third worse thing

[sayyidahdoesntknow]

I want to dissappear, but not in a "i hate my life and i don't wanna be here anymore" way, i js wanna observe the world around me when i'm not there. Like, how do ppl talk abt me when im not around and who talks abt me the most?

[sayyidahdoesntknow]

Why is it so rude to not talk to someone? Why is it not socially acceptable to not want to take part in a conversation you don't wanna be in?