sayumiht

[sayumiht]

One for the Ages - a Kakashi x fem!Reader fic

Author's note: Hey guys! I've not written a fic in years, but I'm stuck at home with a broken ankle, so getting back into it! This one is a reader self-insert, but the reader has a pre-established past, that'll reveal itself throughout the story. A real slowburn, intended to have multiple parts, so please let me know if you enjoyed it and I'll keep going!

Word count: ~2.5k

Summary: A new shinobi joins the Konoha ranks and Kakashi finds himself inexplicably drawn to her. Includes scenes with Gai & Iruka.

Warnings: Mentions of blood and trauma, otherwise none!

Enjoy! ♡

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Chapter 1:

"I've gathered you all here because there will be a new shinobi joining your ranks..." The Third Hokage paused his address to the highest ranking village ninjas and glanced over to the woman standing beside him. Her face looked solemn but sure.

"Y/N is a refugee from the Village Hidden in the Wind and will be taking over one of the graduate genin teams as their sensei. I'm sure you will all make her feel welcome in our village's customary ways."

"But Lord Hokage!" Gai made his way through to the front of the small crowd. "I don't mean to challenge your decision, Lord Hokage, but how are we to accept this stranger as a shinobi, and a jōnin level one at that! Surely her skills must be put to the test beforehand!" A whisper of approval among the crowd followed Gai's words.

The Hokage turned to look at Y/N with a raised brow.

"I will do what is required of me." She nodded in return.

"Then it has been settled!" The Hokage turned back to the crowd. "Y/N will showcase her talents as a shinobi in a friendly fight. And I'm sure you won't mind being her opponent Gai, since you spoke so fervently on the matter." There was a note of playfulness in his voice.

"Yes of course, Lord Hokage! Maito Gai never backs down from a challenge!" The bushy browed sensei gave his usual flamboyant pose and a thumbs-up, not forgetting to throw a glance at his rival Kakashi, who stood towards the back of the crowd. For once Kakashi had put his book down, as he studied the new shinobi's face. It wasn't quite that he knew her from somewhere, rather, he knew that look in her eyes...

The crowd parted to make room for a make-shift arena for the match. Y/N and Gai stood in the centre, facing each other. There was a small smile playing on her lips as she watched Gai flash his stance.

"Forgive me if I don't go easy on you, newcomer!"

"I didn't ask you to."

"Confidence! I respect that in an opponent! Now let's see what you've got!"

In a flash Gai was behind her with a kick to the head, but despite his impeccable speed and technique, Y/N seemed to block it with ease. He followed up with a fury of punches and kicks, but none of them seem to land. It was like she could sense him coming from each direction. As Gai tried to land another powerful kick,  Y/N successfully dodged and tried to return the favour. Gai easily evaded her attack and jumped some distance away from her.

"You're fast, I'll give you that. But you've gone in too cocky." Y/N smirked, an evident smile creasing her face for the first time that day.

"It's time we ended this fight. Wind style, syphon jitsu!" A gust of wind rolled around Gai and pulled him towards Y/N like a torpedo. Before he could release himself, he was met with a powerful kick that sent him flying towards the end of the fighting area, cracking the ground beneath him with his fall.

"Well, I believe that's sufficient proof, wouldn't you say?" The Hokage pronounced from the podium. "Let's call it a day before someone gets a concussion!" As the Hokage and his men made to leave, Y/N approached Gai and extended her hand to him with a friendly smile, helping him back to his feet.

"Your skills are indeed formidable! But don't think I'll go down that easy on our next encounter!" He flashed her a toothy grin, which she matched right back.

"Your taijitsu is some of the best I've ever seen. Perhaps you could teach me in a friendlier sparring match next time?"

"I'd be delighted. You should see my student Rock Lee's taijitsu skills as well! He's quite the talent. Of course, Neji Huyga is also on my team and he's a real prodigy."

"A Huyga! I believe I might have one of those on my team too... I really must brush up on my knowledge of the village history and the next generation of shinobi..." Y/N brushed the sweat off her brow with a concerned expression on her face. She really had her work cut out for her.

"In that case you should speak to Iruka at the Academy. He's been teaching the last few classes of genin to graduate there, he'll be able to catch you up on things!" Gai gave her a thumbs up. "I will see you around, Y/N-sensei. Welcome to Konoha!"

She bowed in return and made her way towards the exit. Kakashi stood near the door, leaning against the wall with his book in hand. As she walked passed him, he looked up and his lazy eye met hers.

"Your book..."

"Hm?"

"It's upside down."

Flustered, Kakashi looked down, and then back up towards her, but she'd already disappeared. "I've never been worse at my job as a ninja, than in this moment." He thought to himself following the rest of the crowd outside. Perhaps following the new jōnin from afar wasn't the best tactic to employ here. He'd have to get to know her the old-fashioned way.

Next day:

The kids had all just piled out of the classroom when he heard a knock on the door frame.

Iruka looked up to see a female shinobi he'd not met before.

"Is this a good time?" She asked.

"Ahem, yes, what can I do for you?"

"My name is Y/N. I'm a... transfer from another village. I'll be training team 8 from now on. I was told you could help me catch up on the village's history, Iruka-sensei." A soft smile blossomed on her lips as she bowed her head to him.

Flustered by the way she had voiced her request, Iruka blushed and stammered out a response. "Of course, I'd be happy to help! What is it that you want to know?"

"Well, my students' backgrounds for a start, the village clan history, really anything I can get my hands on. I'm keen to do right by these kids."

Her words strung a chord with Iruka. "Yes, we all are. Well, I have some books with me here that you're welcome to borrow, and I have some more things at my flat that might be useful. I could bring them tomorrow... or if you'd like to join me, I have some spare time this afternoon, I can take you through them myself?" Iruka was bright red by this point, it had taken all the courage he had left that day to suggest it.

"That would be awfully generous of you, if you're sure I won't be imposing!"

"Not at all! I'll just finish collecting my things and we can head out!"

They walked back towards his place, Iruka filling their silence with stories of his students, often sending Y/N into fits of laughter. It was nice being in Iruka's presence, warm, light. Iruka, in the middle of a story, turned to her, gesticulating wildly for added affect when he bumped shoulders with someone.

"Hey! Oh... Kakashi... sorry, I wasn't looking."

The grey haired ninja stood in casual clothing with a grocery bag in his arm and an unreadable expression on his masked face. He nodded to Iruka without even looking at him, his lazy eye resting on Y/N instead.

"You two look like you're getting along."

Iruka blushed, but Y/N's face remained unchanged. She made a mental note of his name. Kakashi. There was something about him that made her feel uneasy. Like he could see right through her.

"Day off?" She casually asked.

"Not quite. I've been assigned a solo mission and just had some time to prepare for it."

"Well good luck on it." Iruka threw in. "We better get on, Y/N, it'll take me some time to dig everything up for you."

"Right." She bowed to Kakashi and followed Iruka, already a few steps ahead, eager to lose the notorious jonin. She couldn't help but throw a glance back at Kakashi, just to see his back lazily swaying as the distance between them grew. Something in her ached at the sight.

A few days later:

Another sleepless night. It wasn't that her new bed, in her new room, part of her new life, was uncomfortable. It was rather that things were too comfortable. She couldn't remember the last time she could sleep peacefully without fear for her life before coming to Konoha. The Hokage had been kind enough to give her time to settle in, so she hadn't been sent on any missions yet; still, her body jolted awake at night, her mind unable to tell reality from the demons that haunted her sleep.

Tonight was even worse, Y/N hadn't been able to sleep a wink, aware of every slight noise, the room stuffy, her body hot. In a moment of desperation, she'd jumped out of bed, grabbed a scarf and walked out in the cool night air. She strolled aimlessly, her eyes adjusting to the dimly lit village, her head spinning with thoughts about the past, the training she'd prepared for her newly acquired genin, whom she'd meet soon, but most of all (and she really did try to shoo that particular one away) she thought about the mysterious gray-haired ninja, whose single visible eye had bored into her soul.

As if answering her muddled thoughts, a sudden rustling caught her attention. A shadow jumped out of one of the nearby trees, landing onto the ground, stumbled, hand clutching side, but noticing he wasn't alone, tried to regain composure. The figure walked towards her, slightly strained until he came into sight.

"Kakashi! What are you doing sneaking around at this time of night!"

"I should ask you the same thing. A little late for a stroll, is it not?

His mask and clothes were covered in mud and dust, his whole look quite dishevelled. Noticing Y/N's eyes studying him curiously, he let out a slight chuckle.

"I've just come back from my mission, that's all."

"You're injured." She said plainly.

"It's nothing, really."

"I can smell the blood from here. I think you should go to the hospital..."

"No." He quickly cut her off. Seeing the look of persistence on her face, he realised he wouldn't get out of this one so easily.

"I can't go to the hospital, they'll keep me there for days, and I have... I have things to take care of tomorrow." His whole body sagged in resignation.

"Can I at least have a look?" She said softly.

"If you must, but I warn you, it's not pretty."

Kakashi unzipped his vest and lifted his shirt, showing a nasty, open wound on his left side. It didn't seem too deep, but definitely painful.

"Don't worry, I've seen enough blood i my time." Y/N stepped closer, as the darkness of night didn't allow for clear vision. She didn't fail to notice the strained muscles of his abdomen, or the way his v-line tucked into his trousers, but pulled all her strength into focusing on the wound.

"You won't go to hospital, fine. But will you let me help? If you don't take care of this, you'll wind up with an infection, that'll keep you in hospital longer than a few days."

"What can you do?" Kakashi's voice sounded unsure.

"Do you think you could trust me?"

He stood silent for a moment, studying her face. To his own dismay he nodded.

"Then follow me."

They walked together slowly, Kakashi tiredly dragging his feet at times.

"You can lean on me if you need to. I can handle the weight."

"No, I'm quite alright. Just tired."

"You're very stubborn, you know. I'm surprised you're even coming now." He could detect a smile in her voice, the thought of which made him shiver.

"Not as surprised as I am." He swallowed thickly. He hated talking about himself. "What were you doing out at this time anyway?"

"I..." Y/N fell silent for a moment. She still didn't know how to open up to strangers, how much of her past she could reveal without it becoming dangerous. "I find it hard to sleep. If I do manage it, I'm plagued by nightmares, the rest of the time I'm just... on edge. Walking outside seems to help."

Kakashi just nodded in response, hoping it didn't go unnoticed in the darkness that surrounded them. In truth, he wanted to tell her he understood perfectly, and that he couldn't remember the last time he got a good night's sleep. That he felt perpetually exhausted and feared the shadows that his mind conjured at night. Most of all, he wanted to ask if they could keep each other company on their sleepless nights. But it felt much too soon for any of that, so he said nothing.

"We're here." Y/N announced, standing at the door of her building. She pulled out her key and pushed the door open, making way for Kakashi to go in.

"Is this... your flat? Y/N, I hate to tell you this, but I'm really not that kind of girl." Kakashi tried to joke, but something caught in his throat and he coughed, writhing in pain from his wound.

"Very smooth." She scoffed at him. She lead him into the kitchen and turned on the light, revealing strings of drying herbs, hanging across her window.

"Sit here." She pointed at a chair and Kakashi silently obeyed, taking in his surroundings. She didn't have much, just enough mugs and plates for the comfort of one, no pictures or personal memorabilia hanging on the walls. So she hadn't brought much with her then.

Meanwhile, Y/N picked a couple of different leaves from her drying racks and started mixing them into a paste, adding liquid from little jars, strewn along the window sill. Finally she walked over with the mixture in hand.

"May I?" She asked, pointing at his wounded side.

Kakashi lifted his shirt once more, and kneeling next to him, she started carefully covering the gash with the sticky green concoction.

The room was filled with a grassy scent. Her hands were cold, which eased the pain of contact with the wound. Kakashi tried his best not to wince, but his body betrayed him by twitching away from her every time she touched him. He wondered whether it was just the pain, or the sensation of being touched by another, that had become so foreign to him outside of combat.

"There, there. Almost done." Her voice was soothing, almost sweet. Kakashi's body instinctively relaxed to the sound of it. They remained like this for a few seconds, him silently watching her movements from above.

"You know, you should take it easy on Iruka. I think he has a crush on you." He spoke quietly, testing the waters.

Y/N cocked a brow, but refrained from looking up, worried that her flushed cheeks would betray her.

"I think that's a stretch, he was just being helpful, that's all." She tried to keep her voice nonchalant.

Kakashi just hummed in response, unsure if he'd managed to find what he was looking for.

"Right, you can put your shirt back down. This should speed up the healing, and subdue the pain. It'll harden and act as a protector for the wound. Just wash it off in a couple of days." She got up, heading towards the sink to wash up.

"How did you know to do this?" He asked, standing up to test how it felt when he moved.

"There was a woman in my village." Y/N spoke with her back still turned to him, eyes focused on washing the mixing dish. "People were afraid of her, thought her a witch. But she was kind to me when not many others were." She placed the dish on the drying rack and turned back to look at him. There was a sadness in her eyes, that didn't evade Kakashi's notice. "She shared some of her knowledge of herbs with me. Insisted it could save my life some day."

They stood silently, staring at each other. It seemed they had both suddenly realised that they were alone in her flat, and weren't sure what to do with that knowledge.

"I should probably go." Kakashi was the first to break their silence.

"Yes. Probably should."

"I'll see you around. And Y/N... thank you."

Without waiting for a response, Kakashi turned towards the door, and left somewhat hurriedly, his heart in his throat. Y/N remained in her place for a minute longer, staring at the space he'd just occupied. How right it had felt to have him here, in her kitchen. How afraid she was of that thought.

[sayumiht]

"Remember me" - Chapter 5 - Kakashi Hatake x F!Reader

Pairing : Kakashi Hatake x Female!Reader

If you want to read Yamato's version, you can find it here.

Warnings : Memory loss, mind control (mk ultra inspired), angst

Inspiration : Where did she go - Saleka

Words : ~ 3200

A/N : Hello there ! Here's a new chapter! I hope you will enjoy it. And sorry for the mistakes, I'm not a native english speaker. Thank you again for the likes, reblogs and comments ♡

← Previous Chapter - Next chapter → Masterlist

That meal with Asuma and the brief exchange about you had somewhat shaken the Copy Ninja. His friend had struck a nerve where he sincerely hoped no one would ever go, as he already blamed himself enough. He had replayed that scene over and over in his mind since your departure. Far too many times, in fact. Each day that had passed since that mission brought him back to that night—whether it was through a fleeting thought or long hours staring blankly into the distance. He had hoped everything might be different upon your return, that he would finally be able to say what he should have told you long ago. But his chance had slipped away, stolen by his fear—fear that all of this might put you in danger, fear of allowing himself even a sliver of happiness when he wasn’t sure he deserved it.

Closing his eyes, he let himself drift and replayed that painful memory once more.

“I heard someone talking about the next mission assigned by the Hokage earlier today. Apparently, [Y/N] was selected for it.”

Genma was sitting at the same table as Kakashi, Asuma, and Kurenai. They had simply gone out for a drink that evening, talking about their respective teams and the various progress their students had made.

The silver-haired ninja turned his gaze toward him, curious.

“I don’t know the details, but it’s said not to be a short mission,” Genma added, an idle senbon needle between his lips as he glanced briefly at Kakashi.

“She’s leaving for several months. At least,” Kurenai added, taking a sip of her drink. “She wasn’t thrilled about it, mainly because of Naruto… But she didn’t have a choice this time.”

He remembered feeling a faint pang of sadness at Kurenai’s comment. She knew, and he didn’t? Such a long mission? Thoughts swirled chaotically in his mind, though he had yet to voice them.

“What kind of mission is it?” Asuma finally asked, noticing a subtle distress in his friend’s carefully guarded expression.

Genma took a few seconds to think before responding.

“I’m not entirely sure, but it’s about delivering information to various countries and villages.”

A slight wave of relief passed through Kakashi. At least it wasn’t necessarily a dangerous mission. Still, your silence on the matter and the mission’s duration didn’t sit well with him.

“You’re not going to see her for her last night here, Kakashi?”

Her last night? You were leaving tomorrow? The ninja froze. You hadn’t told him anything?

“The mission starts tomorrow?” he asked, his voice laced with sadness as the muscles in his face began to tighten.

Seeing his reaction, Genma leaned back slightly in his seat, surprised that Kakashi appeared to be in the dark.

“Kakashi… She didn’t tell you?”

He stood silent for a moment before suddenly rising to his feet.

“Apparently not.”

With that short but emotionally laden sentence, the Copy Ninja left the bar, heading straight for your apartment, hoping to find you there. A storm of questions filled his mind. Why hadn’t you told him about this? Why decide to leave without even spending a little time with him? Of course, you must have been shaken at the thought of leaving for so long and leaving Naruto behind, but why so much distance with him?

Now perched on one of the rooftops that allowed him to see your bedroom window, he sighed when he saw you packing your bag. After a short moment, he moved to your window, as he often did. But this time, he neither waited for you to open it nor for your permission to come in.

He positioned himself just behind you, silently.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

His voice was heavy with a mix of anger, confusion, and sadness. You continued packing, not turning to look at him.

“What difference would it have made?”

He sighed, looking away for a few seconds.

“More than you think.”

“Oh, really? What do you know about what I think or don’t think?”

The question caught him off guard. What was suddenly wrong with you? Why were you pushing him away like this? He placed a hand gently on your shoulder, hoping you would turn to face him. But you didn’t move.

“I don’t understand. Talk to me, [Y/N], please.”

Your body began to tremble under his hand, and his expression softened, revealing only sadness.

“I’m leaving for months, maybe longer. I don’t know when I’ll come back, Kakashi. And I’m terrified of leaving Naruto alone. But Naruto… Naruto, I know he’s like my little brother, and no matter what, he always will be. As for you and me, Kakashi…”

He remained silent, waiting anxiously for your next words. Deep down, he already knew what you were going to say. He had noticed the changes in your behavior for a while now. You looked at him more often. You blushed more frequently. You were more tactile. He knew this was inevitable, and even though his own heart screamed the same things as yours… he couldn’t. He was terrified of losing you if he let you get too close. You had never really questioned what you were to each other until now. It had never truly bothered you before, but tonight, he could sense your unease and worry. It was as if all your doubts and unanswered questions were suddenly surfacing. Everything that once felt certain and unquestionable was now becoming a source of concern. This mission was challenging many things, and its length seemed to be shaking the very foundation of your world.

“I don’t even know what we are anymore. I feel like I’ve gotten too attached to you. I know you don’t… see me the way I see you, and… Maybe… Maybe we should have stuck to casual, professional conversations. Maybe we never should have seen each other outside of missions. Maybe this was all too much.”

He wished you didn’t see things that way. Because he didn’t. But you were leaving in just a few hours, and how could he possibly confess everything that was in his heart? A few hours wouldn’t be enough to explain everything, to overcome the demons that built a wall between his mind and his heart.

He wrapped his arms around you then, resting his head gently on yours and taking the time to breathe calmly. Even though you were turned away, he could tell you were calming down slightly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered softly, as if afraid to break something fragile. “Sorry that you think all of this… is too much.”

Sobbing, you tried to form a coherent sentence.

“Why, Kakashi?”

He paused, his hands coming to rest on yours as his embrace tightened.

“I promise we’ll talk about this when you get back from your mission. There’s so much I need to tell you, but now isn’t the right time.”

“I’m leaving for months, Kakashi! Maybe even longer!”

Finally, he turned you around so your face was in his view, cupping your cheeks with both hands and wiping your tears away. Gently pressing his forehead against yours, he ran one hand through your hair while the other rested behind your waist, pulling you close to him.

“I know. And I’m going to miss you. More than you can imagine.”

He remembered that night vividly. He had stayed with you, holding you in his arms until you fell asleep in your bed. That was when he had gone home. That was when he had let a few tears fall. Had he made the right choice?

Today, Kakashi finally had the answer to Asuma’s question.

No. If you looked at him again the way you always had, he wouldn’t push you away this time. He wouldn’t let you go again. Fate had given him his answer. And if it had brought you back to him, it was so that he would never let you go like he did that night.

________________________________________ You had barely had time to spend a little while with Naruto before he had to leave Konoha for an urgent mission. Neither he nor Kakashi had given you any details, but the young ninja seemed extremely worried and in a rush. You had vaguely heard something about Suna, the Village Hidden in the Sand, and someone in danger. Tsunade had refused to tell you more and appeared particularly concerned herself.

After such emotionally charged days, the one now coming to an end felt far too calm, and you weren’t sure how to occupy yourself. You were worried for them as well, but you did your best to think of other things, simply hoping they would return as soon as possible.

That’s when you decided to keep writing and drawing in the notebook the Hokage had left on your bedside table. Night had already begun to fall, and a strange feeling kept you from closing your eyes.

The silence slowly settled in, broken only by the soft sounds of your pencil moving across the pages.

Until a strange noise made you turn your head toward your bedroom door. Furrowing your brow, you placed the notebook, still open, on your bed and set the pencil on top. Just as you started to stand up to check, you froze as the door swung open with a sudden force.

The hallway was unlit, and only the dim light of the night outlined the tall silhouette standing before you. It was a man, and he appeared to be dressed like Kakashi—except that his face didn’t seem to be covered. However, the lack of light in the room made it impossible to make out his features or exact appearance.

Your breathing quickened, as if something deep inside you dreaded this person’s presence.

He approached you slowly, and you stepped back at the same pace, retreating deeper into your room until you could go no further—your back pressed firmly against the wall.

“I’ve been sent to deliver the signal,” he began, his voice carrying no hint of reassurance.

Leaning closer to your ear, he suddenly pulled a kunai from his pocket and stabbed it into the wall just beside your face. You tried to strike him, but he deflected your attempt and pinned you harder against the wall, his forearm pressing against your throat, forcing a groan from you.

“Oh, don’t get ahead of yourself—you’ll lose hope soon enough.”

He intensified the pressure on your neck, and you struggled to push him away, your brows furrowed in determination.

“The final fragment of hope lies where you must abandon all that you hold dear.”

At those words, your head began to spin, your heart pounded faster, and your breathing turned ragged. It felt as though everything around you was spinning out of control, as though you were completely losing your balance. The man before you snapped his fingers a few times in front of your eyes, and then everything went black.

________________________________________

“Lady Hokage! There’s been an incident at the hospital!” Tsunade abruptly looked up, her brows furrowing as she fixed her gaze on the ninja who had just burst into her office. “We found the guards unconscious this morning, and she’s gone. [Y/N], the one you had placed under surveillance.”

That was all Tsunade needed to hear. She slammed her hands against her desk, grimacing as her thoughts raced. “Could it be…? No, it can’t be related to Gaara or the Akatsuki…”

She muttered to herself, her voice barely above a whisper. The ninja standing before her remained silent, awaiting further instructions. Suddenly, her eyes widened, and she clenched her teeth. “I’ll send a team to search for her immediately. In the meantime, try to gather more information.”

“About that…”

The ninja stepped closer to Tsunade’s desk, holding a sketchbook carefully in his hands. He opened it to a double page and placed it delicately before her.

Tsunade leaned in to examine the sketches you had left behind. She had glanced at the earlier pages before, but these were completely different. Her gaze froze, and she gently rested her fingertips on the pages, as if trying to decipher their meaning.

It was always the same silhouette: someone tall, wearing a long cloak, with a face scribbled over in heavy black pencil. A faint white hole where the face should be broke the otherwise oppressive darkness of the figure. Surrounding these sketches, she noticed spirals—each more warped than the last���and kunai scattered throughout. The composition itself was utterly chaotic, and her concerns about you only deepened.

“We need to find her immediately.”

The ninja nodded silently, leaving the room at once and leaving Tsunade alone with the sketchbook.

In that moment, she felt helpless. Who was this? Was it the person you had mentioned during your fight with Genma? Were they the cause of your loss of control that day? Or perhaps, even beyond that, the source of your headaches and your sudden disappearance?

The timing of Gaara’s kidnapping couldn’t be a coincidence, and one thought consumed her mind: Was it the Akatsuki, and what had they done to you?

Regardless of the truth, she knew one thing for certain: Naruto was in danger, too.

________________________________________

You woke up alone, in a room dimly lit by a single candle on the floor. You vaguely remembered a ninja visiting you last night, but you couldn’t recall what he had said or what had happened after he stepped through the door. A pounding sensation filled your head, as if someone were beating a drum inside your skull. Sitting cross-legged, you placed a hand on your temple. What were you doing here, exactly?

As you glanced around the room, taking in more details, you noticed a silhouette slowly emerging into the candle’s light. You froze in place, unable to move a muscle.

“Well, you’re awake. Now we can talk like old times, just the two of us.”

That voice. That cursed voice. The chills it sent through you were far worse than in your nightmares. This time, there was no escape. No one to wake you from the nightmare to come.

Your gaze immediately locked onto his mask as it emerged into the light. That spiral—that cursed spiral.

Once close enough, he crouched in front of you, studying you for a moment. “I see that all of our work has been successful.”

You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t move.

“The mind is a fascinating thing, isn’t it? The way it can be adjusted, shaped.”

You tried to look away, but his hand grabbed your chin, forcing you to face him. “No, no. That’s no way to thank me now, is it?”

Grinding your teeth, you shut your eyes tightly. “Don’t worry. You won’t have to force anything. In fact, you won’t do anything consciously.”

Your eyes shot open, and you glared at the black hole that appeared where his face should be. Anger, fear, and hatred swirled in your expression, and he laughed at the sight. “You’ll soon put all those emotions to good use. Be patient. We’ve got a bit of time to kill before you take action.”

You began to tremble. What was he planning to do to you? What was he talking about?

“At first, you weren’t even a target, you know. A twist of fate, perhaps?”

He finally sat down, looking toward another part of the room. “I’m the one who found you—not Yubaba.”

He spoke slowly, as though he were weighing his words or reminiscing. “A ninja, unconscious and wounded—what value was there in that, hmm?” He paused briefly. “Your head injury and your proximity to the Nine-Tails’ jinchūriki saved your life that night.”

Why was he telling you this now? Why now?

“To be honest, you’re nothing more than a test. I don’t know if you’ll be able to see this through. The remedies you’ve been given in the meantime… might cause problems. You’ll need to have one last cup of tea with me today, if you please.”

Deep inside, your anger boiled. The more he spoke, the stronger your desire grew to silence him by force.

“I’ll also give you a second mission, in case you fail the first.”

He turned toward you, as if waiting for some kind of acknowledgment, but you didn’t move. “If you fail to bring me the Nine-Tails’ jinchūriki on your first attempt… I want you to target someone else. Someone who could become an obstacle. And I think you’ll enjoy what comes next.”

He looked at his gloved hands, eventually clenching one into a violent fist. “You seem close to the Copy Ninja, Kakashi Hatake, am I wrong?”

At the mention of Kakashi’s name, your entire body tensed, and fear flashed in your eyes. He noticed immediately, laughing at how little it took to bend you to his will. “I see that simply mentioning his name puts you in such a state, hmm? This is going to be interesting.”

He grabbed your wrist, holding your hand out in front of you. “I want you to eliminate him. Use these little hands of yours to destroy him.”

Your gaze turned ice-cold. Kill Kakashi? Your choices were to hand Naruto over to him or kill Kakashi?

Was this it, then? Was this the destiny that awaited you? Betray or kill the two people who had mattered most to you? This black void, this suffering—was it all leading to this?

Your eyes started to well up as you stared at the hand he held as if it disgusted you. This wasn’t what you wanted. This wasn’t what you wished for. But you no longer had control. Or perhaps, there was still the faintest shred of it left.

“N-No.”

The single word escaped your lips, requiring a monumental effort.

“Oh?” He seemed surprised, though you could only tell by the tone of his voice. “You managed to speak?”

You stared at him, unblinking, summoning all your strength to resist him in whatever way you could.

“You think you have a choice, don’t you? I thought you’d realized by now that you don’t. From the moment you fell off that cliff, you lost all power over your existence. Do you really believe you lost your memory only because of your fall?”

He laughed again. “You’re only useful to me now because you might serve my plans. Nothing else. You’re no one. You’re nothing.”

His voice had grown far more serious, almost irritated. “You’ll soon see that hope is gone. You should give up. Fighting won’t change anything. Either you complete one of your missions… or it’s the end for you. The result will be the same, whether you fail or try to escape.”

No, no. It couldn’t end like this.

“Shall we move on to the main event?”

You noticed his right hand inching closer to your face, just like in your nightmares. He pressed it near your mouth, while his other hand reached for a small flask hidden in one of his pockets.

“One last cup of tea before you take the stage. In memory of all those little evenings we spent talking together. Ah, but I forgot—you don’t remember those either, do you?”

Your eyes reflected nothing but terror now.

“It was a fascinating experience, working with your subconscious, shaping this new personality of yours. A long process, but perhaps a valuable asset. Or, at the very least, an excellent distraction to divert attention from Konoha.”

With those final words, he forced your mouth open and poured the flask’s contents inside. The taste was identical to Yubaba’s, except the herbs seemed to have been steeped longer, making the concoction unbearably strong.

“Soon, there will be nothing left in your heart.”

Your vision blurred, and before you could question anything, his hand withdrew from your face. He snapped his fingers in front of your eyes, and everything turned dark once more.

♡ Tag List : @strflp @sayumiht

[sayumiht]

"Remember me" - Chapter 3 - Kakashi Hatake x F!Reader

Synopsis : Born in Konoha, [Y/N] wasn't necessarily known as the most impressive or powerful ninja, but rather for her kindness and compassion. She became like an older sister to Naruto and a loyal, faithful friend to many ninjas in Konoha. Without even realizing it, she had earned a special place in the heart of one particular ninja with grey hair. But everything changed the day the Third Hokage entrusted her with a mission from which she would not return unscathed. Pairing : Kakashi Hatake x Female!Reader

List : Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // ...

If you want to read Yamato's version, you can find it here.

Warnings : Memory loss, mind control (mk ultra inspired), violence, fluff in the end (if i forgot anything, tell me !)

Inspiration : Where did she go - Saleka

Words : ~ 3000

A/N : Hello there ! Here's the third chapter. I already wrote like 4 other chapters so yeaaah long way to go, sorry. This will end soon, pinky promise. Anyway, I hope you will enjoy it. And sorry for the mistakes, I'm not a native english speaker. Thank you again for the likes, reblogs and comments ❤️

"Did you administer the treatment I entrusted to you?" The voice asking this question was deep, serious. It vaguely reminded you of the one from your first dream. You couldn’t pinpoint its exact origin, but the man speaking couldn’t have been far from you. The sounds and movements surrounding you were faint, almost imperceptible, and trying to make sense of them required immense effort.

Your head felt like it was about to explode, the pain excruciating, the dizziness relentless. You were lying down, your vision spinning wildly, with the sensation that everything around you was in constant motion.

Another voice then broke the silence: "As you instructed." That voice... Yubaba? "Good. Now, I’d like you to leave me alone with her." "She is-" "Leave."

The faint sound of retreating footsteps followed, leaving behind an oppressive silence. You realized the man had drawn closer. Despite your distorted vision, his towering silhouette was now unmistakable.

You tried to speak, to scream, but no sound came from your lips. Only your unsteady, labored breathing broke the silence. The man snapped his fingers several times. You couldn’t discern their exact position; the sense of instability all around you remained overwhelming.

"Good. I see the treatment is working." His voice sent shivers down your spine. A dark aura seemed to envelop him, and you felt vulnerable, utterly defenseless. "I believe we can begin."

With those words, and a soft, chilling laugh, he pressed his hand against your face, and everything went black.

________________________________________

Tsunade came to see you early that morning. You had been on your new treatment for over two weeks, and your headaches had nearly vanished. Iruka and Kurenai had stopped by to visit you. Although their stays were brief, their presence had brought you comfort. Kakashi, on the other hand, visited regularly to talk about Naruto. However, whenever you tried to bring up your shared past, he remained vague, quickly steering the conversation toward more general topics—either about you or himself.

You couldn’t hide the joy that filled you each time he showed up, sat by your side, and spent hours talking with you. Thanks to them, you had been able to piece together some fragments of your past, even though the memories themselves remained elusive. Occasionally, snippets would come back to you—sometimes clear, sometimes not. The photos they had brought helped you put a face to Naruto’s name: a blond ninja who sometimes appeared in your dreams. You now knew that his two close friends were Sakura and Sasuke.

“As you seem to have recovered physically and your headaches have subsided, we’ll have you take a test tonight,” Tsunade announced. Curious, you turned to her. “A test?” “Yes, a physical test. I’d like you to face someone. To see if your skills have vanished along with your memories.”

In truth, the Hokage intended to use this test to probe whether there was more to your memory loss. She sincerely believed your field abilities hadn’t diminished but wanted to confirm her suspicions.

“And who will I be facing?” you asked. “It will be Genma.” “Oh. Are you sure that… this is the right time?”

________________________________________

The test you were about to take seemed to be held in a closed room—an intimate and, most importantly, discreet setting. Tsunade didn’t want the news of this event to spread beyond the small, select group that had been invited. You had been led to the ground floor of the room, where you could make out ninjas observing from above. You spotted Kurenai, accompanied by someone who appeared to be Asuma. Kakashi was there too, standing next to Gai. Tsunade had sent Iruka to keep Naruto occupied, ensuring that he wouldn’t come looking for his teacher or for her.

A strange sensation stirred within you, accompanied by a strong sense of apprehension. You had no idea what you were capable of or what your opponent could do.

“Don’t worry, it’s just a friendly match. We only want to assess where you’re at. If anything goes wrong, we’ll stop immediately.” Reassured by her words, you nodded as the Hokage joined the other ninjas observing from above. Closing your eyes for a moment, you tried to calm yourself, focusing on steadying your breath. It was just a friendly sparring match, after all. If things didn’t go well, they could stop it right away—couldn’t they? It had to be that simple.

“Hey, [Y/N]. Ready?” Opening your eyes, you saw Genma already standing across from you.

He looked particularly composed, unbothered by the fight that was about to begin. You couldn’t help but wonder if he truly intended to fight with that senbon between his teeth.

Genma had been briefed about your return and your memory loss. Though the two of you had never been particularly close, you knew each other well enough from past missions and battles you’d fought together. He was familiar with your fighting style without being emotionally invested—a balance that Tsunade had likely deemed perfect.

You nodded, and that’s when the match began.

Taking a deep breath, you lunged at the ninja instinctively, without overthinking. He deflected your initial strikes with little effort, sensing both the automatic nature of your movements and a subtle undercurrent of hesitation. You fought the way you used to, but something was different. Genma noticed it immediately. It wasn’t alarming given your current situation, but it was a detail he filed away in the back of his mind.

As the exchanges continued, still mechanical in nature, Kakashi closely observed the scene, analyzing every move. He, too, noted the slight differences in your techniques compared to the past. However, what concerned him more was the hesitation. To him, it didn’t seem like the hesitation of someone afraid to miss a strike. Instead, it felt like the hesitation of someone afraid to hit harder than necessary—something you didn’t even appear to realize yourself.

The fight continued for a while longer, and Genma decided to raise the stakes to push you further. He sent you flying a short distance away, catching you off guard with the sudden change in his approach. The kunai in your uniform pocket slipped out during your fall, landing a few steps ahead of you.

“You’ll have to choose, or I’ll choose for you.”

A faint, shrill sound accompanied the sudden appearance of a voice in your head.

“Would you know how to make good use of a second chance if I gave it to you?”

You began to get up, one hand clutching your head, hoping the sharp pain and the noise would fade. Your other hand instinctively grabbed the kunai. Kakashi noticed the movement, one that might have seemed trivial at first glance. Meanwhile, the Hokage frowned, her expression tense. This was the moment she had been waiting for, and she was prepared to intervene, as were the other ninjas who had been briefed before your arrival.

Genma was surprised to see that you were now faster, more aggressive, and far less hesitant. He found it harder to predict your moves, though so far, the kunai hadn’t touched him. As the intensity of your strikes increased, he noticed a shift in your gaze. It was no longer the same as when the fight began. It was something entirely different.

For your part, you attacked without fully understanding how you were doing it. Your actions felt automatic, the hesitation gone, as if driven by the rhythmic noise in your head and the short phrases or single words spoken by that voice—the one that filled you with terror.

Before long, you had brought Genma to the ground—or had he let it happen? Either way, the kunai at his throat was not part of the deal. He grit his teeth, feeling the cold metal of the blade pressed dangerously close to his skin. Your gaze radiated anger, hatred, and pain—a storm of emotions that was anything but reassuring. The brunette struggled to hold your wrists back, trying to keep the weapon from piercing him.

Relief washed over him when he caught sight of Tsunade, Gai, and Asuma. The Hokage stood directly in front of you as the other two quickly grabbed your arms and pulled them away from Genma.

Freed from your grip, Genma scrambled to his feet, rubbing his neck where the blade had grazed him. The cut was shallow, not serious—but the look in your eyes was far more dangerous.

Suddenly, you dropped the kunai, yanking one arm free from Gai’s hold to clutch your head. The pain was still searing, though the voice in your head began to grow quieter. Your eyes closed tightly, and Tsunade motioned for Asuma to let go of you.

“There’s no point in trying to fight it.”

Both hands pressed against your head, you seemed to be trying to block out the noise. Tsunade crouched in front of you, gently placing her hands over yours.

“Bring me the Nine-Tails’ jinchūriki.”

“Please… I want it to stop. I want him to stop.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, but it was enough to draw a look of surprise from the Hokage. She wasted no time initiating a healing jutsu to ease the pain and calm the storm within you.

________________________________________

After the incident, Tsunade escorted you back to your room. She had instructed the other ninjas to return home, signaling that they would likely regroup later to discuss the situation. The only words you managed to say to her before she left were:

“I’m sorry about Genma. I—I’m truly sorry.”

She looked at you for a moment but said nothing, leaving you alone with your thoughts. You lay down in the darkness, unable to stop replaying what had just happened.

Meanwhile, the copy ninja was struggling to process what he had witnessed. Tsunade had warned him, but he hadn’t expected to see something like that so soon. He was deeply worried, though the Hokage had instructed him to observe without interfering. Questions raced through his mind, but above all, he wondered what state you must be in now.

What had driven you to attack Genma without holding back? What was causing these sudden headaches? What was happening to you? And who was the man whose voice haunted you relentlessly?

Tsunade closed the door to your room with a sigh, leaning against the wall. Kakashi was there, staring at the floor. In truth, he had followed the two of you ever since the test ended.

“That wasn’t really her fighting Genma. At least, not during the second part of the match.”

Kakashi’s words carried a heavy weight. It couldn’t have been you—it couldn’t have been your own will. Not you, not from what he knew of you, memory loss or not.

“That’s what I feared,” Tsunade replied. “She whispered, begging for ‘him’ to stop before I eased her pain.”

The silver-haired ninja turned his gaze toward the Hokage, his concern now plainly visible on his face.

“I don’t know what kind of enemy is behind this scheme, but we need to keep Naruto out of it for now.”

“He’ll find out eventually, Lady Hokage. We’re only delaying the inevitable.”

“I have a bad feeling about this. And Naruto… he’s unpredictable.”

“I think he’s capable of hearing the hard truth. It’ll be far worse if we keep it from him.”

As she began to walk down the long hospital corridor, Tsunade cast a final glance at the copy ninja.

“We’ll keep it a secret for now. I assume you’re planning to stay with her tonight?”

The remark took Kakashi by surprise, and his eyes widened.

“I’m only going to check on her, Lady Hokage.”

Once Tsunade had turned away, she let out a soft chuckle and murmured under her breath, “Be careful, Kakashi. Don’t get too close to the flames.”

________________________________________

The door creaked open softly, but you didn’t bother to turn around. You stayed lying on the bed, lost in a fog of confusion and reflection. Silence lingered until you felt the mattress shift slightly beneath you.

“Are you okay?”

Kakashi’s voice reached you, gentle but filled with concern. He was there, likely seated on the edge of the bed.

“No,” you replied flatly.

“Hmm. You know... Genma is fine, and what happened—it wasn’t your fault.”

“By my hand, but not my fault. Is that it?”

A brief silence followed your sharp retort.

“I didn’t want things to turn out this way. I—I didn’t want this,” you murmured, your voice cracking under the weight of your emotions.

“I know. That’s why I’m telling you—it wasn’t your fault.”

A few tears slipped down your cheeks. Kakashi, who had been sitting with his back to you, noticed your subtle, uneven movements. The moonlight spilling into the room illuminated your figure just enough for him to see that you were crying.

Instinctively, the silver-haired ninja placed a hand on your shoulder. His thumb began to trace slow, soothing circles, a small gesture to offer you comfort.

The touch stirred something indescribable within you, but you were in no state to resist or question it. Suddenly, you sat up, leaving Kakashi momentarily stunned, and before you could stop yourself, you wrapped your arms around his torso.

What was happening to you? Why were you acting like this around him?

Kakashi, caught off guard by the unexpected embrace from behind, didn’t move at first. He was torn—part of him wanted to push you away for your own good, while another part, the part his heart screamed at him to listen to, wanted nothing more than to hold you close.

When a few seconds passed with no reaction from him, you began to withdraw your arms from his chest.

“I—I’m sorry… I didn’t mean—”

You were cut off abruptly as Kakashi turned and pulled you into his arms, enveloping you completely. You couldn’t see his face, but his eyes were fixed on your trembling form, glistening with unshed tears.

His thoughts raced, swirling in chaos. Seeing you like this, so broken by what you were going through, left him feeling utterly powerless. He couldn’t stand it. He had faced countless hardships with you before—on missions, in moments connected to Naruto—but seeing you crushed by something so incomprehensible, unable to help you, was unbearable.

He rested his chin gently atop your head and closed his eyes. One of his hands moved to your hair, stroking it softly, trying to soothe you and bring you some semblance of peace.

It had been so long since he last held you in his arms that he could hardly believe it was real. So long, in fact, that he’d almost forgotten you didn’t even remember him anymore. So long that his emotions, long suppressed, now refused to be ordered into anything resembling calm.

Gradually calming down, you let yourself sink into the comforting warmth of Kakashi's embrace and closed your eyes, your hands clutching tightly at his green uniform. When he felt the tension leave your body and managed to steady his own racing heartbeat, the silver-haired ninja opened his eyes gently.

“Let me tell you about one of our missions,” he murmured softly in the stillness of the room. “It was before I started leading Team 7, the one I told you about. You were still in the Anbu back then.”

Keeping your eyes closed, you listened intently to his voice. You had been waiting for this moment since the first time he came to see you. Fearing he might stop if he thought you were awake, you remained perfectly still, feigning sleep.

“Your team joined us as reinforcements on an S-rank mission. Thanks to your intervention, the mission was a success... But that mission stands out in my memory for another reason.”

Kakashi shifted slightly, sitting up straighter while still holding you close. A faint chuckle escaped from beneath his mask.

“Even with your mask on, I could sense how worried you were when you saw our injuries. You fought, but… you weren’t really focused on the battle. I caught you staring at me for a long moment before you even engaged the enemy. The last time I saw you fight like that was during another mission, when I was injured.”

He paused briefly before continuing.

“You barely dodged several dangerous attacks during that fight. All because you were too preoccupied, worrying about me and thinking only of patching me up. The second the battle ended, you ran straight to me and started tending to my wounds. I kept telling you I was fine, but you were so stubborn that I eventually gave in.”

Closing his eyes for a moment, he let out a soft sigh.

“And when you took off your mask, I saw the look in your eyes. It scared me. I was terrified that you could have been hurt because you were so distracted by my condition. But what frightened me even more… was seeing how much you cared about me. You cared so deeply that you forgot your own survival, just because I was injured.”

You recalled how he had avoided giving a direct answer about the nature of your relationship, and now, you were starting to understand why. Faint glimpses of that event began to surface in your mind. They were blurry and fragmented, but undeniably there. And now, you were beginning to realize that perhaps he wasn’t just a friend.

“What happened earlier, with Genma… I know you would never have done that. That wasn’t you. And… I’m going to help you find your way back to who you’ve always been. I don’t know who’s hurting you like this, but… I’m here now, and I’m not letting you go again. Whatever it is, we’ll face it together.”

Someone asked me to tag them on updates, so here is the taglist. If you also want to be tagged, tell me ! :) @strflp

[sayumiht]

Imperfect Promises - Kakashi x Reader

for @sayumiht for the Milestone Event Week 3

The night brings a cold with it you hadn’t anticipated, the air crisp, your breath a white fog every time you exhale.

The mission itself has been a success, the adrenaline bleeding out of you now that the fight lies behind you, but there’s still quite a distance you need to travel home, quite a few things that can go wrong.

“Are you cold?”

Kakashi’s watching you over the small fire you managed to bring to life.

You’re not sure why he’s so distant today, but you’ve learned to roll with the punches. 

If it would be anyone but him you’d call it dating, the thing that you’re doing.

You’re over at his place more often than you’re staying at your own, mostly because he finds you and drags you over when you try to give him some space.

You know the shape of his mouth by touch alone, can recognize him by the sound of his heartbeat. 

You’re well versed with the darkness of his mind, too, the reason you’ve not made official what you consider your longest - and somewhat healthiest - relationship to date.

“I am,” you agree, waiting for his reaction. You stretch your hands out toward the flames, focus on their flickering movement.

Kakashi gets up and walks around it, settles on the ground next to you.

He’s never asked if you wanted to cuddle him. Sometimes you think he’s unable to word his own needs. But you’ve picked up on it nonetheless, sink into him now like you’re boneless.

Kakashi chuckles, drops his head to press a kiss to the crown of your head.

He’s got dirt on his nose, you notice, when you move back to pull his mask down. It makes him look at least ten years younger and you brush it off with your thumb before kissing him more deeply, getting lost in the feeling of it.

-

When you wake hours later, curled up in a sleeping bag, you find him sitting at the fire. Everything in you wants to stay there, where it’s at least somewhat warm, but you can tell by the curve of his back that he’s thinking, that he’s getting lost in the ever-gray wash of his memories.

“Hey,” your hand slides down his spine, feels it settles underneath your touch. “You’re up?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” he’s avoiding your eyes but you let him, settle into his lap with none of the grace a Shinobi of your caliber should have. Kakashi groans under your weight, slips his arms around you when you tuck your head underneath his chin.

“Did you notice the bracelets everyone was wearing?” You ask, try to pull him back into the present. “They had no clasp.”

“They’re wedding bands.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he hums low in his throat. “I asked someone while you were out collecting Data. Apparently, it’s welded on the day you decide to get married, a promise to stay together way before actually exchanging vows.”

“That’s lovely,” you fight against the urge to look down at your wrist, at their bareness. “To take the promise itself so seriously.”

Kakashi scoffs. “You can cut it off easily. It’s just a piece of metal.”

“Yeah,” you sway your head from left to right as you let his bitterness float away, “but it’s the thought that counts, right?”

Your next words slip out of you without your own doing, a reminder for him but also for you.

“I’ve never broken a promise before.”

Kakashi tenses. “I’ve broken plenty of them.”

He’s hardly ever that honest. His eyes are directed at the horizon, though unfocused. You let him.

“Did you want to break them?”

“No, I-” He hesitates. “I just couldn’t-” A deep breath, his shoulder tense.

You press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Mr. Not-Perfect,” you call him softly. “Out here not being perfect. What will the people think?”

He smiles, rubs his eyes with the back of his hands. “I want to promise… I want to promise myself to you. But I don’t- I can’t- I haven’t-”

He breaks off and you nod, take a hold of his hands, and squeeze them tight.

“I’ve seen you live, Kakashi. No one fights harder to keep their promises. And I love you, the way you are, perfectly not perfect.”

It’s rare that you call it the way it is, use the word “love” around him when he’s conscious. It spooks him, you know.

Tonight, though, he doesn’t run. He just closes his eyes and nods.

“Let’s get back to bed,” you urge him. “Sleep until it gets a little warmer, huh?”

-

You can feel it even before you open your eyes, the little chain that’s winding around your wrist.

There’s no clasp that you can feel and when you blink your eyes open and look down, you can tell Kakashi’s done a good job at it.

“Where did you get the heat?” You ask, astonished.

A blush sits high on his cheek as he shows off and you pull down his mask to see it better, to kiss him and all the perfect imperfections he carries.

“I’m a little mad you didn’t wait for me to wake up before you practically proposed to me,” you tease him, letting the delicate chain glitter in the rising sun. “But I hope you brought another one.”

Kakashi smiles before pulling another delicate chain out of his pocket, offering it to you.

You look at it, let it glide through your hands for a bit, before taking his hand.

“I promise to love you for as long as I’m alive,” you slide the chain around his wrist, “just the way you are. Quiet. Always late. Heavy with memories. Not at all perfect.”

“I promise to love you even when I’m dead,” Kakashi adds, his voice low as he watches you. “And to stay alive for as long as I possibly can.”

“What more could I want?”

“Maybe a little fire?” He asks, with a teasing glint in his eyes, as he welds the chain around his wrist together. 

There are going to be questions when you return. 

But you will deal with them another time.

-

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[sayumiht]

KakaSaku Fic Recommendations 🌸⚡:

(just because…)

(all are completed)

Time Travel Fics:

In case of Blue Scroll (multi-chaptered) 

Looped  (multi-chaptered) 

Unbroken  (multi-chaptered)

The Hokage’s Wife 

if I could turn back time (multi-chaptered) 

at second glance (multi-chaptered)

when I see you again (multi-chaptered) 

the fletcher’s heart paradox (multi-chaptered) 

BECOMINGS AND NEVER WERES by @mouseymightymarvellous

time travel by @bouncyirwin​ (same story is turned into an ongoing multichaptered fic- The Story Of Another Us)

past present by @bluefurcape

A Reason To Change

So, You Hate Your Future Wife                                                                                                                                                      

Thirteen Months, Four Days

Consequences

Bonds Through Time

Dear Future You ​

Personal Favorites:

To grow a garden (completed) 

diet 

the hardships of being a godfather 

dream a little dream (multi-chaptered) 

nice legs

j'accuse  (multi-chaptered) 

shotgun wedding (multi-chaptered)

nanda ka sabishii desu (multi-chaptered)

desperate measures (multi-chaptered) 

hokage sama 

the summoning 

yellow moon 

cuddler

point of grace 

Three Years & Counting 

puppies and babies 

tardy to the party

hot cocoa 

Divine Intervention

his fault  (multi-chaptered) 

daddy 

what the future holds  

storybook  

what happens now (multi-chaptered)  

traditions  

sing (multi-chaptered) 

kakashi’s confession 

Christmas wish  (multi-chaptered)

You only live twice 

Kakashi’s one night stand (multi-chaptered) 

hey baby, I think I wanna marry you 

the confessional onsen 

falling through holidays  (multi-chaptered) 

how about now 

quintessential (multi-chaptered) 

and also reindeer 

Bedmates 

morning of a househusband 

puppy love 

one night is all we need 

kind of dating

kitten or leopard 

say it again (multi-chaptered

Burrow 

Enough 

why not? 

The Armchair

Banish 

Bundle 

tomatoed halloween 

a good day today

nostalgia 

more 

14 gifts (multi-chaptered) 

picture books 

Flower Crowns and ANBU

Don’t Let Your Guard Down 

There Will Be Time 

shinobi of the sand (multi-chaptered) 

A is for ANBU  

A Pair of Red Gloves 

nine lives 

green-eyed monster 

even a blind pig 

bargain 

rose tinted

ignore the innuendo 

star of silver, heart of tin (multi-chaptered) 

those three words 

in his footsteps  (multi-chaptered) 

ichor runs through my veins, painting my very insides gold (god’s flesh does not come without a price)

what it means to love

perspective 

Black Rivers 

chidori no jutsu 

pancakes 

I Don’t Believe You 

try something

take my past, take my sins  (multi-chaptered) 

the alpha male

matchmaker, matchmaker 

the old biddy  (multi-chaptered) 

the fine machinery of spring  (multi-chaptered) 

peeping tom

the downward spiral 

good boy

Out of Order

distractions (multi-chaptered) 

the scarecrow and the cherry blossom (multi-chaptered) 

the old razzle dazzle (multi-chaptered) 

best christmas of my years 

lace

Take My Past And Take My Sins

rushing silver water 

firelight 

kakashi’s boredom 

a wonderful vacation (multi-chaptered)

disease 

taut

someone that you’re with 

the dance  (multi-chaptered) 

hiding behind masks 

two pink lines  (multi-chaptered) 

improper suggestions 

Christmas party 

sweetness and surprises 

cinnamon lips 

Against You 

life informs life

thunder and lightning (drabbles) 

Coloring and Games 

11 ways to change a mind 

stargazing 

the 12  days of Christmas 

an announcement 

sabotage 

simple things (multi-chaptered)

A Game of Make Believe

My Bed is Your Bed 

Swapped 

Milk Teeth

Tender loving care 

An Elegant Christmas 

Quarantine and Chill 

the other fight

Beautiful, Perfect Disaster

Two Proposals With One Answer

Kakashi Go ChompChomp

Dimension Travel :   Invasion of Privacy

the other fight

Confessions

Something to Talk About

Three’s A Crowd (fight or flirt)

Strange

Domestic

Photographs of you

New year with you

gone all red

Once Upon a Snowy Day

A Hatake Christmas

Ninja Dorks Flailing at Intrapersonal Relations

So, You Hate Your Future Wife

Kakashi and Sakura’s Infinite Playlist

I Don’t Know if This Helps it (but Good Job)

Confessions

New year with you

Swimming in Artificial Sweetener

Popsicle feud

Be back safe

Masquerade

heaven is in your kisses

Caffeine Cold

Adolescent

A Hatake Christmas

Got it From My Mama

Sakura Viewing (花見)

Little Ol’ Sakura

Rules Meant To Be Broken

Dimension Travel :   Konoha’s Most Wanted

Mother’s Favourite Things

Only Her

Got it From My Mama

better late than never

Rules Meant To Be Broken                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Silver Lining 

Dimension Travel : Where One Belongs

Between Truths and Lies, There’s You and I

Pull Me from the Water

KakaSaku one-shots

Sukea x Sakura :  something different

Accidental marriage :  Inside Out

Before Long

And It All Came Out Into The Open

Girl Talk

Move In With Me?

Stay

a scent of floral

What You Don’t Know (Sure Can Hurt You)

accidental marriage :  Consequences of Laziness

Urushi Snuggle?

Tricky Pumpkin Tactics

This is What Dreams are Made Of

forced marriage :  Dare to Dream Again

dimension travel :  That time I got hit by a bus and ended up in Magical Ninja Land where I stole the girl

How Does One Become a Dad?

A Couple, A Few, A Handful

Arranged marriage :  Tea For Two

Enough for Both of Them (sukea identity reveal)

(panic on the brain) world has gone insane

The Photographer’s Return (Sukea appearance)

The Scarecrow’s Legacy

Their Wilting Dreams and Fading Twilight

Whispers of Love

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

The Wingman (Obito is alive!)

What Are you Going To Do About It?

surprise, surprise

whats in a name (Sukea’s identity reveal)

House Calls

Sakura Tea for the Soul

demons x angels au : a kiss the Devil has known

mistakes

fake///pretend relationship :  I Want You to Settle Down With Me

Just Another Day at the Hatake Estate

Kamon (Clan’s Symbol)

Close Quarters

Flirting in Plain Sight

coward

I Choose You

A Wolf’s Heart

the mercurial retrograde

Move In With Me?

Icha Icha! AU:

icha icha star

icha icha fanfiction 

icha icha sakura 

Madam Sakura 

operation distraction 

icha icha made me do it 

Icha Icha Pirates 

as luck would have it 

The Home Computer 

unorthodox birthday 

a star is born 

icha icha hokage-sama 

little orange book 

The Princess Tsunade 

icha icha innuendo 

Nocturnal Activities 

Cat! AU:

The Cat’s curse  (multi-chaptered)

kitty no jutsu

and you’re gonna hear me roar

furball

it started with a jutsu  (multi-chaptered)                                                                                             

karma is a cat

cat nap

The Outside

Same Age AU:

Mask Off, Santa Claus 

try something

It’s Useless if Not With You 

you are kind of weird…I like it 

always you

I wish

Finding You 

forgotten gift 

just a girl

limerence

when we were young

under the weather

summer storm

questionable intelligence

homecoming

love you little, love you long

roads untravelled

Smells Good to Me 

Code of Conduct 

Little Things 

Stay With Me 

same age by @murd3rm1ttens

Autumn by @ryekiree                                                                                                                                                                                                          

mussed

Missed Connections

Petal-Textured Skies

The Roommate

Modern AU:

a brief introspective of sunflowers

take a chance and roll the dice 

you’ve got my time, you are my plans 

you are now connected 

borrowing

alone with you 

drunken craigslist ads and fake dating 

cut to commercial 

the intimacy of being understood

the chemicals between us 

On a Leash 

neon city 

dear diary

classroom-by-laws 

what happens in suna (lasts forever) 

i wish 

Homecoming

unrequited 

Serendipity

roll a charisma check 

Lights Out

questionable intelligence 

love you little, love you long 

man’s best friend 

the interview 

Business as Usual 

You Again 

That Fine Line

clause number eight

three little words

thou art a bitter bird, said the raven to the starling.

Dinner plans

Mystery Doors and Hospitals

Second Chances

Never Say Never

eyes on me                                                                                                                                                   

thou art a bitter bird, said the raven to the starling.

a girl walks into a bookshop

Can’t Help Myself

modern with magic :  Say What You Wish

magnetic heart

Hello Mr. December

Cinder

The K-Pop Idol and the Bodyguard

No Dogs Allowed (But Pups and Hounds)

Pleased to Meet You

Man’s Best Friend

How the Turns Have Tabled

Soulmates AU:

you know the tune, so words don’t matter

Knuckles

solemates

to keep a promise or two

make it holy

against fate

touch of fate

your most important person

the sweetest lies

total eclipse of the heart

listen closely

Dreams Are Made of This 

i’m here 

The Numbers of My Sins 

in another life

expected

soulmark

Like Smoke in Your Arms 

âme soeur

Eternity

Once Hidden

Fare Thee Well

Loved the Hell Out of Me

Amnesia AU:

mine

the empty heart 

curtain call

to come back to you                                                                                                                                                                                             

until the end of existence

Fate & Memories

Hanahaki disease:

love stinks

all she ever dreamt of

The Blood Red Cherry Blossoms

Still Blooming

sugar and camellia

Drunk KakaSaku:

the rewards of lying

drunken kisses

empty shot glasses

until morning

kakashi and booze

innuendo

settle into spring

forearms

lie 

slip of the tongue

failed memories 

gamble

it started with a bet

Kakashi’s Answering Machine

Strangely Familiar 

Simple Pleasures 

Party Favours

daddy’s little girl 

Drunken Confessions

good to you

Ask me again

KakaSaku and Sasuke:

Better Man 

a brief introspective of sunflowers (multi-chaptered)

picking up VIII

unworthy

discoveries in oil  (multi-chaptered)

canonization

requests

downpour (multi-chaptered)

Kakashi Hatake: The Uchiha’s Rival in Love (multi-chaptered)

Henge Love (multi-chaptered)

skip a Beat

against the sky

another life (multi-chaptered)

Unbreak My Heart

Irrelevant

I Can’t Make You Love Me

Don’t Break Her Heart

Let The Truth Sting 

Fight For Love (multi-chaptered)

Sasuke Returns 

identity Crisis

Resolutions 

an unfortunate encounter

Twelve years

A Late Hour

An Honest Talk

Memories

Jealousy

Sakura blossoms differently every spring (extremely underrated)

Tagpuan

The Room You Make For Me                                                                                                       

Don’t Marry Him

An Unexpected Visit

Let me Build a Home with You

The Eighth Hokage

It’s My First Time (Be Gentle)

High Infidelity

Updating the list frequently. Last updated on 15.11.2024 📍 

[sayumiht]

Secret affairs

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x fem!grisha! reader Summary: Rumours and whispers are circulating in the Little Palace that General Kirigan has found himself a mysterious woman with whom he spends his nights. One morning Ivan learns that the rumours are true. Fedyor will not rest until he finds out who their Black General's new lover is—who is the one who makes him much less grumpy. Requested by: @drinix (I AM SOOOO SOOO SORRY THAT IT TOOK ME AGES! BUT I HOPE YOU WILL LIKE IT, HONYE!!! 🖤🖤🖤🖤) Taglist: @aoi-targaryen @chelseyyouraverageluigi @watersquirtpewpewboomm @summersummoner-pat Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ Main Masterlist

One morning, Aleksander sips his coffee and looks through the reports Ivan has just delivered to his desk. He has a meeting with his colonels in a few minutes, and he's struggling with his lack of sleep. At least this time, he has a better reason to stay up late than answering letters and planning new battle tactics.

He smiles, remembering the night he spent with you. He runs a hand over his jaw, trying to shake the thought of you beneath him. How you trembled at his every little touch, the sweet sounds you made as he struck your most sensitive spots with pinpoint precision, how wonderful you looked sprawled out on the bed, a clean, quivering mess as he tasted you to his liking…

"Forgive me, General, but I can't find your kefta." Ivan's voice snaps him out of his thoughts. Aleksander absentmindedly picks up the reports again, knowing full well that he has to read them before he goes to any meetings, and, ignoring Ivan a bit, mumbles under his breath, asking him to repeat what he just said. "I can't find your kefta, sir."

"My kefta?" Aleksander repeats, surprised. Ivan has never had any problems with this simple task before. Suddenly he remembers why his heartrender can't find his keft. "I must have left it at hers." Aleksander mutters under his breath, unaware that he is saying it so loudly that Ivan can hear him.

Heartrender frowns and stares at his general in shock as he casually takes his reports and heads to the main war room for a meeting.

As soon as Ivan enters the room, he meets the questioning gaze of his beloved. Feydor immediately notices how pale and nervous Ivan has become and that his heart is beating a little faster. He decides to ask him what happened. And a few hours later, Ivan confirms to Feydor the rumours that have been circulating in the Little Palace.

General Kirigan had a secret affair.

"I can't believe it! Him?" Alina's whisper reaches you as you sit down at the table right next to Fedyor.

"Who are we gossiping about? The healer who almost broke a bone in one of the Inferni yesterday while so-called healing?"

"No. Ivan couldn't find the general's kefta this morning. And when he told him, he mumbled that he must have left it at HERS. Do you understand? At HERS. HER. SHE. A WOMAN."

"Yes, Fedyor. I understood at first time when you said it." You laugh at his excitement about this new rumour.

"No you don't! You don't know what it means if you are not at least as interested and excited as me or Alina." Fedyor informs you in a very serious way.

You roll your eyes at his foolish behaviour and looks at Aleksander who is coming into the great hall. In his black kefta.

"No way! It must be someone from the Little Palace! Look at him, he is wearing it now! Someone had to give it to him." Fedyor whispers conspiratorially to the three of you, staring at the general.

You raise an eyebrow at him, amused when the man quickly feigns interest in his food as Aleksander's gaze falls on the three of you. He nods at you and leaves the room.

"Sorry, duties." You say and take an apple from the table. "Try not to interrogate everyone around you about the general's new beloved. She may get embarrassed or scared and leave him and he'll become a pain in our asses again." You tease him and leave him and Alina to discuss this new revelation.

You walk quickly through the hallway of the Little Palace, practically running after Aleksander. You burst into his war room and before you can say a word, his lips are on yours.

You moan softly, surprised by the suddenness of his kiss. You tangle your hands in his hair and hum against his mouth as he slips his tongue into your mouth, pinning you against the door. You’re breathless as he practically devours you, drinking in all your moans and whimpers of pleasure as his large, strong hands caress the cheeks of your ass.

"I was thinking about it since I left your side." He mumbles, pressing small kisses to your jaw. You sigh, digging your hands into the collar of his kefta and pushing him away from you with a heavy heart, but you have to get the message across to him before you get lost in each other again.

"You have to be more careful. Fedyor got something out of Ivan and knows you have a mistress."

"So you are my secret mistress now?" He asks, chuckling against your neck. You bite your lip as his beard teasingly grazes your neck, plump lips nipping at your skin.

"Call me that again and you will be comming back from my chamber to yours all naked." You growl, but your threat carries little fear as Aleksander begins to unbutton your own kefta.

"You wouldn't dare..." He mumbles against your skin and all you can do is tug on his hair in retaliation as he traces his marks across your collarbone and moves lower, approaching the valley between your breasts.

"So sure?" You gasp, trying your best to remain intimidate to him, but it is a challenge when his fingers work so smoothly in undressing you.

"Uh-huh." He mumbles and kisses you again, this time more forcefully than last time, making your legs buckle slightly. He holds you tightly by the waist and lifts you up, navigating through his room and laying you on his bed, which is filled with books.

"I... um... sorry. I should have cleaned up here." He mumbles to himself and throws the books to the floor in his haste. You laugh at him and grab his arm.

"I don't mind... besides it will be quite hard to explain why you suddenly clean your rooms without any suspicion about this new lover of yours." You tease him with a smirk, but he doesn't seem to share your good humour at all.

He's lost in thought, stroking your cheek with his thumb thoughtfully and not responding to your teasing, just staring at you sprawled beneath him, shadows slowly creeping out of his control and draping over the foot of the bed.

"Shouldn't we... make this official?" He asks, staring at you with those night-dark eyes of his. You shiver, surprised by his question.

You try to swallow the lump in your throat and control your slight panic attack as he continues to stare at you, waiting patiently waiting for your answer and searching your face carefully for any reaction.

"What for? That's... quite a comfortable... deal we are in. Besides, I don't want them to talk that I am your second-in-command just because I slept with you. And I thought you liked that our relationship is strictly private and well... not to anyone's eyes?"

"Yeah... yeah, I do. You probably are right. Having you in the darkness is much more entertaining than in the daylight."

You know from the way he frowns slightly that this isn't the answer he was expecting. But if anything, Aleksander is a pathological people-pleaser. So he doesn't say anything about his true feelings about the secrecy of your relationship and instead leans in for a kiss.

Which subconsciously makes you feel incredibly guilty.

"Come here... let me help you relax, moi soverenyi." You moan against his lips and straddle him, deciding that this afternoon you will serve your general.

But no matter how many kisses you press into his skin, how many marks you leave, or how many times you make him moan your name, you still feel a burning feeling of guilt inside.

You try with all your might to focus your attention solely on giving him as much pleasure as possible, but your thoughts involuntarily wander to his proposal. You weren't ready to show the two of you to the world yet. You weren't ready for the judgemental looks from others. You'd rather everything stay the way it was. Just you and Aleksander, your little secret, stole kisses and nights between each other's sheets.

You were completely happy with that. But as you can see, your Sasha wanted more.

And you weren't entirely sure if you could give it to him now.

You wake up blissfully aching. Aleksander's shadows float across his bedroom, obscuring the entire room, blocking out any sunlight. You turn your gaze to the man whose chest your head rests on.

You smile, watching the sleeping shadow summoner. It's rare to see him so... calm, rested. Unable to stop yourself, you run your hand along the line of his jaw and gently cup his bearded cheek. You stroke it with your thumb, drinking in his appearance, enjoying every tiny hickey you've left on him.

You lean down and kiss him sweetly, slowly, unhurriedly, enjoying the softness of his lips and the roughness of his beard. Kissing him had always been a surreal feeling for you. Sometimes you couldn't believe that you could actually press your lips against his and declare your claim to the most powerful Grisha that existed.

You feel him start to wake up as the kiss continues. He wraps his arms around you and holds you tightly by the waist, rolling you so you're straddling him as he kisses you passionately, hungrily. You sigh into his mouth, feeling his manhood press against you as if last night hadn't worn him out.

You run your hands over his chest and slowly settle yourself on him. You sigh as the head of his cock slowly opens your soaked walls. It feels so good and so damn full, as you settle yourself completely on him, as you become one. You bite your lip and hold your breath as he sits up, wrapping his arms around you tightly, digging his fingers into your back.

"Y/N..." He murmurs into your ear and kisses his lobe. You sigh, feeling him perfectly fill every little space of you.

"Morning." You gasp as he pushes you onto your back, hovering over you. He sucks hickies on your neck, mumbling quiet good mornings against your skin as he lazily thrusts into you.

You wriggle and moan beneath him, trying to press yourself as close to him as you can. There’s no space between you as he claims you with every thrust, destroying you for any other man. You sigh as he presses his lips to yours, kissing you possessively, stealing your breath with each deep, hard thrust into you.

He trails his kisses down your neck. His beard tickles your skin as he caresses your lips. You moan his name loudly as he suddenly sucks onto your breast.

He smiles evilly against your skin. Aleksander revels in the way you dig your nails into his shoulders as he works tirelessly to please you. He loved seeing you like this. Hair tousled against his black sheets, eyes closed from the rush of pleasure, mouth open in a quiet moan of his name when all you could think about was him. That was when you felt truly his. And it was a pleasant change for him to know that someone belonged to him, that he owned someone. It was just a shame he couldn't claim you in the sunlight as well.

A sudden movement in the war room makes you both freeze. Aleksander stares at his bedroom door and instinctively raises his shadows, causing them to wrap around the two of you defensively.

"General, we got a report from the west border with Fjerda..." Fedyor's voice trails off in the realization as the heartrender realizes he hears two heartbeats in Darkling's bedroom. Two fast heartbeats. "I... um... should I come later?"

"Preferably." Your lover responds, still on his guard.

You listen for Fedyor's footsteps and sigh in relief as he walks away. You laugh uncontrollably, which earns a soft chuckle from Aleksander. His heart heats up as he watches fondly as you laugh beneath him at the absurdity of the situation.

"Oh my dear saints. He's going to be so determined to find out who you're hiding under the sheets."

"Yes... probably." He replies. You frown thoughtfully, but you quickly distract yourself when he moves again. You moan, biting your lower lip and digging your fingers into his arm as he reaches deep, hitting that weak spot inside you that sends tingles throughout your body. "But you'll manage, right, milaya?"

You nodded, unable to utter any coherent sounds. He smiles pure evil and continues to pound into you at a punishing, rapid pace. You bite your lip, almost drawing blood as you try not to moan his name too loudly in the darkness of his chambers.

Yep... you definitely loved your stolen mornings with him.

A few hours later, you smile to yourself as you pack your things. Due to suspicious activity by the Fjerdans on the border, Aleksander decided to go and see for himself what was going on. You were supposed to be on the lookout for Morozova's stag.

Despite the sudden events of today, you couldn't just forget about the morning spent with him. The thought of it made you blush, and a smile appeared on your lips. Lost in thoughts about the shadow summoner, you didn't even register when Zoya entered your room with a packed backpack.

"Oh saints, you had sex!" You jump suddenly at her excited squeal and stare at her like a deer caught in the light of a hunter's torch.

"I beg you pardon?"

"You had sex! You're glowing, relaxed, and oh my, you're blushing like a teenager! Who's that? Do I know him? Handsome? What order is he from? Or maybe it is she?" She bombards you with excited questions. You hide your face in your hands, not wanting to watch her wicked smile as she settles on your bed, staring at you intently.

"I... have no idea what are you talking about."

Before you can somehow defend yourself from her accusations, you are interrupted by a knock on your door. Fedyor enters with his things, all excited, with Ivan hot on his heels.

"Y/N, you won't believe it! He really does have someone! You have to tell me if you saw anyone in the corridors leading to his quarters last night when you were leaving his chambers after the night briefing. Remember every detail, I need to know everything."

"Y/N had sex with some mysterious lover." Zoya briefs Fedyor before either of you can add anything to the man's long rant.

Ivan raises a surprised eyebrow at you, silently analysing the information in his head. You see the gears turning in his head, and as he connects the dots—as Alexander's closest confidant after you—he blushes. You shake your head slightly, staring at him as Fedyor and Zoya exchange gossip. He swallows and nods silently. You note it as a problem for later and turn your gaze to the two excitedly gossiping Grisha.

"I can't believe it! You too?! Who is it?! With your busy schedule with Kirigan, I didn't think I'd have time to find anyone, but here you are. Is it that handsome inferni? The one who's going on the mission with us and has been hanging around you for ages?"

"I… would prefer to keep my… boyfriend's privacy for now. It's a quite new thing, we're… testing if we're a good fit." You stammer, explaining yourself, knowing full well that you can't deny these two for long. They would have known the truth anyway. You're terrified of the moment when they realize that you and Aleksander are something more.

"Oh, I understand that perfectly. Ivan and I went through the same thing, right, honey?"

"Yeah..." Ivan mumbles thoughtfully and continues to stare at you in shock. However, Fedyor is too lost in his conspiracy theory to pay attention to his significant other's behavior. For which you silently thank the saints above.

Eventually, you all gather up and head for the stables. Zoya and Fedyor mumble something to each other in the front, and you and Ivan follow. You decide that this is a good time to approach him and ask for discretion.

"You know, don't you?" Ivan stares at you for a moment, then nods silently. You swallow hard, nervously playing with the sleeve of your kefta. “Listen… can we keep this between us? I… I doubt it’s a good idea to talk about all this now. He doesn't need to have such rumours running about us in the Little Palace."

Ivan nods at you, agreeing with your words. But you can see that something is bothering him. For a moment he grits his teeth in silence, but then he mumbles under his breath, barely audible.

"He seems… less tense. Less worried." You blush along with him. You clear your throat and turn your gaze to the walls of the corridors you pass, thinking of a… neutral response to his observation.

"I... I guess he is."

"I think… I want to say… it's good that he has you." You look at him in surprise, almost tripping on the exit steps as he says this. The blush deepens on your cheeks as you think about what he told you. "Everyone needs their own Fedyor."

You smile, seeing his gaze on his other half. And perhaps for the first time you see that they actually fit together, and Ivan is worthy of your best friend. You wonder involuntarily if Aleksander looks at you like that when you don't see...

"Yeah... I think you are right. Thank you, Ivan. You are a good friend. For both of us. Well, mostly to him." You say, referring to Aleksander. Ivan nods in silent agreement.

This strange harmony between you seems to be going strong. You are united by one goal. The good of your shadow summoner.

The four of you reach the stables. Alexei - the inferni, who as Fedyor mentioned was supposed to join your mission and had a crush on you quite openly, runs up to you quickly. But your eyes and attention are focused only on the general. Or rather, on the general and his sun summoner, as other Grishas maliciously called it.

Your blood boils, a strange feeling of jealousy hits you like a hunter's shotgun hits an animal, and you can't even do anything about it as Alina is clearly flirting with him. All you can do is stand there and try to swallow the bile of jealousy with dignity as Alina adjusts the collar of Aleksander's kefta. He somehow senses your burning gaze on him, but you quickly turn away and mount your horse without even waiting for his reaction.

He's lucky you're not official yet. And that it'll be hours before you can calm down before you can talk to him in private. But you're starting to understand why keeping your relationship a secret no longer works for the Black General. Especially when you see the way his jaw clenches when you laugh at some joke of Alexei's, causing the young inferni to give you lovey-dovey puppy eyes, to which you wink back.

You may have been cruel, but the knowledge that your lover was as jealous of you as you were of him calmed you down a bit and lifted your spirits. And if by any chance you made sure that Alina rode with you and away from Aleksander during the journey, that wasn't intentional at all. Not at all.

"So... Ivan knows." Aleksander comments as you lay in his tent, wrapped in his arms.

Ivan stood guard over your small camp while the rest slept. You decided to take the opportunity to sneak in on your shadow summoner to share the revelation. And maybe just a little to steal a few kisses and hugs from him.

"Indeed." You mumble, playing with his fingers that are slowly dripping shadows.

You bring one of his fingertips to your lips and press a small kiss there, which makes Aleksander's heart melt even more for you. He tightens his grip around you and presses a tender kiss to the top of your head before resting his bearded cheek on it with a small sigh.

"Well... sonner or later Fedyor will figure it out too. It's just the matter of time."

"Maybe... that's why I want to enjoy you in privacy for as long as I can." You prop yourself up on your elbow and lean in to steal a quick kiss. You pull away from him with a smile, but you frown, not finding any of the malice in his eyes that he would normally have at this gesture. Something was wrong.

"Y/N... Don't you think that's enough? We've been going around each other for a long time. I think the rest should know about us." A cold shiver runs through you at his words.

You try to control your heartbeat, but you know perfectly well that you are no longer able to hide your emotions from him so well. He knew you as well as you knew him.

He knew that you were not exactly keen on making your relationship public. That is why you cannot lie and pretend that it is not so. You have to convince him to change his mind somehow... but how?

"But it's so sexy to have you all to myself, a secret from everyone. Don't you love the thrill every time we sneak around each other for a kiss or something more?"

"I like that. But I don't like that I can't hold your hand outside the four walls of our chambers. I don't like that I can't go up to you and kiss you when you look so lovely after training with Fedyor or Zoya. I don't like that I have to watch others flirt with you and touch what's mine. I don't like that I can't make your cheeks blush in front of others. I don't like that I can't look at you for as long as I want without suspicion. I don't like that I can't play with your hair during particularly boring council meetings. I don't like that I have to hide the fact that I love you."

His confession hits you harder than any punch Baghra had ever given you during training. You swallow hard and kneel down next to him, watching him carefully as you try to process what he’d just told you.

"You... love me?"

"I do. And if it is not enough for you to make it public... I don't know if I can go on like this anymore. I don't know if I can keep my trembling hands from reaching for you in the light of day, not just in the darkness of night or my shadows. I need more. I need all of you, Y/N."

You stare at him, utterly shocked by his sudden confession. His words both overwhelm you and warm your heart, but it's not enough to quell the panic rising within you.

Because as much as you want to be his, as much as you want him to be yours, you know that the members of the Second Army won't look so... favourably on your romance. Besides the public opinion... you're afraid that once the thrill of excitement and mystery wears off, Aleksander's feelings for you will fade dramatically and he'll realise that you're not a good match at all and that Alina would be a better choice for him.

"I... it's hard for me... to give you an answer now." You mumble, watching anxiously as his brow furrows, face darkening as he retreats back into his shell and tries to hide his true emotions from you.

"I thought it should be easy. You either want me or not."

"I want you." You respond quickly, reaching out for his arm in panic and holding it in a tight, almost bruising grip. The desperation on your face makes Aleksander sigh with relief inside. You cared. That was for sure. So why do you hesitate for so long and postpone the inevitable?

"Then why do you insist on keeping us hidden?"

You don't answer. You know he'll think your uncertainty about his feelings is baseless and pointless. You think it's stupid. But you can't escape the overwhelming feeling that the moment your romance stops being a tightrope, his feelings for you will burn out like a candle. And you really wanted to keep him by your side.

Your silence, however, is not what he wants. Or something that could help you stop him. He nods silently and stands up from your makeshift bed of blankets.

"Where are you going?"

"Outside. I'll take guard duty for Ivan." He replies emotionlessly. You swallow nervously and sit up, following him with your eyes as he puts on his black coat as he is giving you a cold arm.

"Aleksander." You whisper with a pained tone in your voice. He stops for a moment and gives you a long, haunted look. He sighs and shakes his head at your silence and walks out of the tent, leaving you alone.

The lump in your throat grows and tears well up in your eyes. You close your eyelids and lift your head, taking a few calming breaths. You fucked this up. Not for the first time, but this time you really hoped you wouldn't get cold feet and that you'd somehow stifle that little voice in your head that had always questioned your worth.

Because you felt you weren't worthy of Aleksander. Yet for some twisted reason he thought you were perfect for him. Maybe this time you should take a chance and trust him? Trust that at the end of the day he'll decide you're enough and that you don't have to be a Sun Summoner to be his equal?

After a while, you stand up unsteadily and walk to the tent flap. You glance through it and freeze when you see Alina and Aleksander talking quietly by the fire. She says something to him and puts her hand on his shoulder, but instead of moving away from her touch, he seems to cling to her and answers her with one of those smiles that make your knees weak. You feel a painful stab in your heart. As if scalded, you jump away from the tent flap and lie back down in the pile of blankets.

You bury your nose in the material that has soaked in the scent of the Shadow Summoner and close your eyes as tears freely flow down your cheek and soak into the black fur. A hundred dark thoughts, doubts, and different scenarios in which Aleksander leaves you for Alina go through your head, and to be completely honest, you don't blame him. She was a real sun. How could you possibly compare to her? You were stupid and naive to think that he would stick to you when he could have her.

The only comfort you find is that at the end of your crying, when you had no more tears to shed and were only shaking uncontrollably, Alexander came back. He came back and practically silently laid down next to you. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to his chest, burying his nose in your hair. He sighed quietly and ran his thumb over your waist, holding you so tightly as if you were the most important thing in his life, and he couldn't let you slip through his fingers.

You don't make a move, don't give any sign that you're awake. You spend the rest of the night half-awake as you try to memorize the way Aleksander holds you, the way he still wants to come back to your bed at night.

Because something tells you that this state of affairs won't last long.

"Just as I thought, you look adorable even after a week of horseback riding and searching for a group of Drüskelle." Alexei compliments you as you and Zoya return to camp after scouting. You let out an uncontrollable laugh at this, amused by the absurdity of his flirting, and join the group sitting around the campfire.

"It's a pity I can't say the same about you." You say spitefully and accept from Aleksander, who is sitting next to you, a stick with a fish that Fedyor and Alina had caught earlier. Aleksander takes another stick with a raw fish and starts roasting it again. Everyone else laughs at your remark, even Alexei.

"You'll see, one day I will melt your cold heart." You roll your eyes at this. Zoya, sitting next to you, hits your arm in amusement.

"Come on, Y/N. Tell us about this secret lover of yours. Maybe it will cool Alexei's ardor."

Fedyor perks up at Zoya's words and nods enthusiastically, while Aleksander, sitting next to you, tenses slightly. You see that his knuckles have been clenching around the stick since Alexei began his flirtation with you. You fear his further reaction to this conversation, which is heading in a rather dangerous direction.

"You have a lover?! Who beat me to it?" Everyone around you laughs at the exaggeratedly hurt tone of Inferni's voice and the way he dramatically aimed his fishing rod at you. You smile involuntarily and shake your head, trying your best to keep the blush from spreading to your cheeks.

"Thanks for your concern, or rather curiosity, but my lover and I would rather keep our privacy. Besides, I can't talk about him left and right without his consent."

"Maybe it wouldn't bother him at all?" Aleksander comments, not looking at you, instead focussing his attention on the fish in the fire. You feel an uncomfortable feeling in your chest when he won't even look at you. The bitter feeling of guilt resurfaces within you, and you wonder how the hell you're supposed to fix what you've broken.

"Exactly! I don't care what you want, I wanna meet this guy who is the best sex you've ever had!" Zoya comments, practically making you choke on your own saliva and freeze in embarrassment.

Everyone around the fire is laughing at this and asking you snide questions about your mystery lover's… prowess. You glance briefly at Alexander and almost punch him in the arm when a smug, dark smile appears on his face. And from the mischievous glint in his eyes, you know he'll only put the final nail in the coffin of your embarrassment.

"The best sex you've ever had, you say?" He asks, amused, raising an eyebrow at you. You bite your lower lip and slam your shoulder into his, almost causing him to lose his balance and fall over the log. He laughs at your feeble attempt at attacking him.

"Oh, piss off." You snap at him but he just reaches over and ruffles your hair with his hand. It's only the deafening silence around you that makes you realize you've done something… wrong.

Everyone stares at Aleksander in shock, as if waiting for him to yell at you for overstepping his bounds, but he doesn't. You see genuine shock and surprise on their faces. Before your general can say anything, you take over, trying to save the day.

"What? Haven't you ever seen two good friends banter?" You sneer at them and nod at their sticks. "Your food will burn if you sit there with your mouths open and stare at us much longer."

Somehow your words disenchant them. They go back to their usual joking, teasing demeanour, and the camp buzzes with their conversations again. You glance at Aleksander, and you can see from his face that he doesn't like the way you've handled this. You know this was the perfect opportunity to admit you're together, but after what you saw last night—the way he acted with Alina—you got too scared to tell them. If they all didn't know you were together, maybe his inevitable departure would hurt less?

You flinch as your secret lover sitting next to you suddenly takes the stick with the fish out of your hands.

"You'll burn it if you stay in your tangled thoughts any longer." He grumbles and takes the fish off the stick. You see he's completely abandoned his in favor of preparing your meal. You nod with a smile as he hands you a slice of bread and seasons the fish with the spices you brought with you.

Unconsciously to you, someone's eyes are watching the two of you closely.

Aleksander thrusts the food under your nose. You instinctively lean forward and bite into the offered sandwich, used to him feeding you, most often in the late hours of the night, when you both sit in the war room and spend time planning new tactics. You glance around quickly, but fortunately the others are too busy with themselves to notice. Or so you think.

"You're going to burn your own fish." You notice and take your food from him.

He's holding his stick back, and you decide to give him a bite of his before he gets his food. After all, he practically made you yours. You make sure no one notices and feed Alexander. He hums and brushes his lips against your fingertips before licking them teasingly. You sigh and punch him in the arm, to which he just grins wolfishly at you and winks.

You feel warm just from your playful exchange. And as the darkness grows deeper, you reach for Aleksander's hand and hold it tightly, shielding it with the hem of your coat. You smooth your thumb over the back of his hand, laughing at the stories Zoya tells. Aleksander seems much less tense, and a little satisfied, when you hold his hand tightly in yours.

And while you think no one has noticed, they have. Or at least one of them has.

At some point, Aleksander gives you his coat, insisting in a quiet conversation between you that you'll freeze and get sick if you don't take it and that he'll be fine because he's survived winters much worse than this one, and with much thinner clothing.

Your heart aches that he's had such an experience, but for the sake of peace, you take the black coat from him. You blush when he whispers that when he gets back, he'll make sure David makes you one that matches his, so everyone knows you're his.

And when he presses his lips to your forehead to check that your body temperature isn't too low for his liking, Fedyor awkwardly reveals that he's been watching you.

"Saints, Fedyor!" Alina squeaks in panic as the heartrender somehow loses his balance on the log and almost falls into the fire.

He hadn't leaned any closer to hear what you were whispering, and he hadn't nearly fallen into the fire in shock when he was the only one to notice their general's affectionate treatment of you. Not at all.

"Are you okay?" You ask him worriedly and kneel down next to him.

Fedyor swallows, trying hard not to show that he noticed the way Kirigan's gaze softens when he looks at you. He was such an idiot. How could he not have noticed that before?

"Yeah... yeah, I am fine. I should probably just go to sleep. Ivan?" Fedyor calls his beloved.

He helps him up and leads him to their tent. Before he can ask even one question about his well-being, Fedyor blurts out:

"Did you notice that Y/N and general are... very close?" Ivan at first seems not to react to his words. Fedyor only realises, through the very slight acceleration of his heartbeat, that perhaps his partner knows something more about... the unexpected connection between his best friend and the Black General. "Ivan... do you know what I think you know?"

"What do you think you know?" Ivan clears his throat awkwardly as they both enter their tent.

"Oh saints, you know right?! How long?! Was it that obvious?!"

Fedyor's mind flashes back to a million moments when your feelings for each other were painfully obvious. He remembers how Kirigan would let you playfully tease him, how he would always make sure you weren't overworking yourself and were eating the right amount of meals, and how he would look after your well-being. Hell, the general even delayed your trip to the fold because you were sick with a cold from your recent trip to Kertch! And he had behaved like a jilted, angry, resentful lover during those months! It was so painfully obvious that Kirigan was head over heels in love with you... but were you? Or was it just a passing fling? Fedyor had to know more.

"That's why we shouldn't get involved and let them decide for themselves… Fedyor, honey, where are you going?" Ivan asks confused as his other half runs out of the tent.

Fedyor throws a quick see you later over his shoulder and runs to your tent hoping to find you there so he can have a serious talk with you.

And fortunately he succeeds.

"You told Ivan, and you didn't tell me?! I am your best friend!" Fedyor shouts at the entrance to your tent. You stare at him, holding the report the falcon just delivered to you in your hands, as you are trying to understand what he means. You blush as you realise what he could be so angry about.

"I… since when did you…"

"Oh please. You've obviously been like this the whole time. I'm a fool for not making the connection. It's literally written all over his face that he loves you. What about you?" Fedyor sits on your blankets. Your palms are sweating and you put the reports on the ground, wondering how the hell you're going to get out of this situation now.

"I… it's complicated."

"Love is quite complicated. Maybe that's why you gave Alina a deadly look a few days ago when she was practicing her powers with the general? And you snapped at her, giving her a completely traumatic tantrum when she lost her sword?"

"I… it wasn't intentional and you know it." You mumble, blushing even more, but this time with embarrassment.

"It's a simple question Y/N. You either feel it or you don't. And from what I see, you probably also… reciprocate. Although it's clear that he fell much harder."

"You think?" You ask with a smirk, unable to help yourself at his comment. Fedyor nods and stands up. He walks over to the shadow and places his hands on your shoulders.

"Yes. And believe me, I don't blame him. If I didn't play for the same team, or didn't have similar tastes as you, it would be really hard for me not to fall in love with you."

"Yeah, I know. We'd be a great couple if you weren't gay." You laugh at him and pull him into a hug. "But don't tell Ivan or Kirigan that."

"Sure. We don't want to upset our grumps, do we?"

Your laughter is the first thing Aleksander hears as he approaches your tent. He opens the flap with one finger and sees you standing in Fedyor's arms, laughing. A cry of jealousy and a sudden need to take you in his arms and hide you from the other man pierce his mind for a moment, but he calms down, reminding himself that Fedyor... is no threat to him. At least not romantically.

"Can I interrupt?" He asks and goes inside. You step away from Fedyor and nod at him.

Fedyor nods at him and leaves, throwing you a mischievous wink over his shoulder. Alexander notices this and connects the dots rather quickly. He walks over to you and wraps his arms around your waist. He plants a kiss on your forehead, then rests his chin on your shoulder.

"So I guess he knows?"

His hot whisper against your ear makes you shiver. You burrow your face into his chest, nuzzling his neck as you wrap your arms around him in an equally tight embrace. Maybe Fedyor is right? Maybe when you know… you just know?

"Yeah... At this rate soon the entire Little Palace will know."

"Do you mind?" He asks uncertainly, expecting his words to hang in the air and for it to take you a while to respond with another excuse.

But you decide to bet on the truth. Show him all your cards and the same vulnerability he has for you. It was going to be everything or nothing and you knew you couldn't put it off for long. Not if you didn't want to lose him.

"Partly. I... I am afraid that once it will stop being a secret affair you will... loose your interest in me. I mean... look at me. I am not Alina." You laugh nervously and try to hide your face in his black kefta. Aleksander is not having that. He gently takes your middle and forces you to look into his dark, beautiful eyes.

"I don't want you to be Alina. I don't want you to be anything else but you, Y/N. I love you as you are. Heartrender, healer, sun summoner, inferni or whatever else, I don't care. I care about you. The way you make me feel. The way you hold me. The way you kiss me. I want you for what you really are. Not for the power you hold. Not for anything other than you."

You can barely hold back the tears in your eyes. Instead, you just nod and lean in to kiss him softly. You melt, as always, at the softness of his lips, the way he gently cups your cheeks in his hands and holds you like you're the most important thing in his life, like he can never afford to lose you. And you hope it stays that way forever.

"You damn manipulator how can I say no after that?" You gasp as the kiss ends and he rests his forehead against yours. He chuckles deeply and envelops you in the tight, warm, safe embrace of his arms.

"You can't." He mumbles against your temple and places a tender kiss there. "You are all mine. As I am yours, milaya."

And you have to say, his words have never felt more true, as he kisses you with a passion unlike any other men. You only hope that he secretly draws 'mine' on your skin for the rest of your life… not just in his shadows and the darkness of the night.

[sayumiht]

[sayumiht]

@kakashiweek 2024 day 4 - Hobbies

Kakashi has many hobbies. One of his hobbies is to design and sew clothes for his ninken pack. He's very dedicated to his craft and the annual Ninken Clothing Days have been marked in his mental calendar since way back.

The jacket design itself was decided upon after a very brief round of concept sketches (that all looked very much alike) and Kakashi hasn't seen any reason to change things up since then.

It wasn't difficult to figure out how to do sewing. The trickiest part was finding the right books before he knew what he was looking for. As soon as he did it was pretty much basic math and handling sharp objects and he was already very good at those things.

Every year Kakashi gathers the ninken to take their measurements. This is a good opportunity for a health check as well, although it's difficult to focus when all the dogs get worked up over who has grown the most since last fall and whether or not Kakashi will pick a new color this time around (Kakashi won't)

The most time consuming task is the embroidery. Kakashi briefly considered simply painting on the fabric but after just one round of testing it was clear that ink would not withstand repeated uses of his laundry jutsu. That's fine though because Kakashi doesn't mind spending time on embroidery. He enjoys it quite a lot actually. There is something both soothing and satisfying about setting up the pattern and then following it over and over and over again, producing perfect identical copies of his original artistic vision. Kakashi brews tea and does his needlework in peace while listening to the house creak in that familiar way it does when the seasons change.

When all the ninken jackets have been sewn and ironed and neatly folded it's time for the fitting. This is the best part because the dogs get very excited every year, even though the procedure never changes. Kakashi summons them one by one and takes his time to make sure he got all the measurements right and that the ninken can move freely without any chafing or discomfort. He's gotten really good since his first collection so there is rarely any need for adjustments. There is always a need for scratches and cuddles though <3

[sayumiht]

@kakashiweek 2024 day 3 - Secrets

There are some things that can only be said out loud when it's between friends who have signed a contract in blood. Such things are very serious, especially to ninken. It's in a ninja dog's nature to value loyalty, trust and companionship and when a summoning contract is signed it's a bond for life. A bond like that is very good to have when you're the sort of person who's uncomfortable talking about his likes, dislikes or dreams for the future with people, but still has lots of feelings going on inside.

It's not that Kakashi and Pakkun have regular, in-depth, heart-to-heart conversations about important topics. They're not those kinds of dogs. Sometimes though, every now and then, there is something on Kakashi's mind that needs to be said out loud to a friend. Pakkun will listen then, nod sagely and offer whatever wisdom or helpful advice he can. He doesn't always have words good enough to put Kakashi's mind at ease but paw pads are usually better than words anyways.

Pakkun has very soft paw pads that can soothe all kinds of worries and banish the most persistent of bad thoughts. He can often tell when Kakashi might be in need of paw pads during missions and will happily jump up on his head or shoulder and hold on with steady paws of loyal companionship. People might think Pakkun rides on Kakashi's shoulder because he's lazy or tired, since his legs are so short, and all those things are true, BUT he's also offering Kakashi support without anyone knowing. It's a very effective secret ninken love tactic <3

[sayumiht]

Commission 

Kakashi x Jonin! Reader 

Summary: Takes place after Shippuden during Kakashi’s term as Hokage. He asked you to house-sit for a few days. You're more than happy to help but you do end up snooping around. And to your delight, you find an unpublished book.  

Extra: Happy birthday Kakashi! Ahem… Sorry so.. F. Reader, Jonin reader, Reader is described as shorter than Kakashi. Nothing too salacious, very suggestive, but nothing really explicit. But just in case 18+ content (MDI)

Wc- 2.2k

    You were rifling through Kakashi’s things when you first saw it. The book was a blush pink, with beautiful Kanji decorating the front in elegant swirls. When you looked it over to see the author you almost dropped it. Jiraiya!? You could have sworn you’ve read all of his work. Despite what people had said he was a surprisingly good author, his penmanship getting you through despreate lonely nights. Why hadn’t you seen this on shelves? Why was the cover starkly different from his other works? You were absolutely going to find out. 

   With the Hokage in Takigakure for a couple of days, you figured he wouldn’t miss the book. You placed the novel in one of the various pockets of your vest. It was an unorthodox use of the body flicker but it served you in finishing the tasks he’d ask of you. Plants were watered, trash was incinerated and his letters tidied. Anticipation burned underneath your skin. So much that you waved Genma off when you saw him on your way home through the market. Eager to get to your apartment and leaf through your find. 

    Once out of your uniform you plopped onto your couch and turned the cover. You were a page in when you met the main character—the son of a distinguished samurai family. “Is this a self-insert” You mumbled, turning the page as the boy’s snowy locks were described, his eyes the shade of charcoal. The first two chapters were brief, mostly about the young boy's formative years when he trained and studied rigorously. His only reprieve was when he could steal away to play with the hounds. 

    In the second chapter, he meets someone who the book only refers to as the seamstress’s daughter. A young girl his age, with a missing tooth, her small fingers covered in bandages. She didn’t know how to wield a tanto, didn’t know how to play shoji, and she didn’t know why her mother was so concerned when she bumped into the young lord. A clueless girl is what the samurai in training called her and he spent the entire summer trying to teach her what he knew. Whenever she wasn’t sewing buttons, she watched him train or squealed alongside him as they played with the pups. 

     Their summer came to a close in the third chapter, after a training session landed her in the river, a weeping gash on her leg that left her in hysterics. They weren’t allowed to play together for the remainder of her stay. But the young lord would always sneak away to find her. Days before her departure he rushed into the workroom, her threaded needle dropped to the ground, and a gap tooth smile beamed at him as he showed her his new puppy. “Is that Pakkun?” You mumbled as the small pug was described. But soon he waved off his friend, clutching a lock of her hair. 

      You jumped at the knock on your window. Your heartbeat settled when you noticed that it was Kurenai and her little girl. You had a bad habit of dropping your guard in Konoha, especially in your home. 

       “Did you forget?” She asked once you opened. 

       “Yeah, sorry” She looked down at your hand and you pulled up the book sheepishly. “Got distracted.” She rolled her eyes, a smile playing on her lips as she handed Mirai over. 

       “Well don’t get too distracted, she already ate but if she gets fussy there’s a food pouch in here. I’ll be back as soon as I can. It’s just an escort to Shukuba.” She hands you over a bag and wraps her arms around your shoulders in a hug, careful of Mirai. “Thanks again for watching her.”

    “Don’t even worry about it.” You smiled, bouncing the baby in your arms. “Take care!” You’re then left with the little Sarutobi, her tiny fingers hooked into the fabric of your shirt, as she blinks up at you, babbling incoherently “Eeeee you're so cute!”

    Your reading is put on hold as you watch the little one. And as the hours tick by you grow a bit impatient. You don’t know when Kakashi is due to come back, he said a couple of days, and you're heading into the fourth tomorrow. Will he notice his missing book if he comes back early? What if you don’t finish it in time? Maybe you could make a substitute? But if he picks it up? This time you sense Kurenai before she arrives, Mirai hadn't fallen asleep in the time it took for her to come back and you weren’t comfortable with taking your eyes off her while she was in your care. 

      “How was it?” You ask. 

      “Uneventful. Hello, my love.” Mirai laughs when you hand her over and after a bit of chatter and ‘thank yous’ they leave. You lean against the door after, wondering what it’d be like to be fully responsible for a child. You don’t think you want to be a mother but if…

     “And that’s enough of that!” You cut your thoughts off, not imagining a life where you are your Hokage’s wife. Nope! You're not thinking of him!  “Ugghh! So what?! Who doesn’t think Kakashi is hot.” You mutter, grabbing the pink book from your desk. ‘It’s not like I want him or anything!’ You head into the bathroom and prick your finger, summoning the smallest speaking snake of your summons kin. “Should have done this earlier. Can you read this for me?”

     “You know that’s not what we’re for.” He sighs.

     “I’ll give you Takoyaki.”

     That’s all you had to say. Your summon clears his throat as you peel off your clothes to shower. In the following chapter, after the girl’s departure, he fulfilled his duty by becoming a Samurai. He meets new people and fights great battles with her hair keeping him company throughout his travels. It's during an escort that he finds himself in her hometown. And while his comrades celebrate with drinks he slinks off to find his old friend. He finds her at the shop he remembers her telling him about. 

     She’s older he notes. “Obviously” You interrupt, lathering your hair with shampoo. Your summon frowns at you and you allow him to continue. The samurai is taken by her full smile, his heart racing when her arms bring him close. They reminisce about their childhood, trading stories he’s almost forgotten. He’s laughing, a bit embarrassed when she reminds him of when he jumped into a thorn bush to avoid being it. He had to meet the new Daimyo with torn trousers. 

     Their time together was short as it always seemed to be. He promised to return the next day. But when he does he does not find her. Asking around he’s horrified to hear the news. He finds himself in the pleasure district a couple of towns over. The samurai is more than upset when he sees her painted face, climbing up the window to ask why she hadn’t told him of her financial troubles. His clueless friend. His secret love had just been sold to a brothel to pay off her father debt. His gambling addiction had almost cost them their store. She reassured him informing him that her contract was only for two years. 

      He wasn’t pleased. If he’d have known she could have avoided this. He could have paid it off. He wouldn’t have asked for anything in return. Except perhaps a kiss. 

      “Oh, now I get it.” You stepped out of the shower, strands still wet as your summon held the book open. “He commissioned it. That’s exactly the type of cheesy trope he’d like.” Still in your towel, you made good on your promise and heated some left-over Takoyaki. “They’re so much better fresh.”

        After the snack your summon left you and you settled into your bed to keep reading. The Samurai expressed his feelings letting his friend know the extent of his care. He would buy her contract, but she would not allow it, she would not burden her dear friend. She couldn’t fathom him spending so much for so little. And, he couldn’t understand why she was being so stubborn. He tells her she can pay him back if it’s too troublesome. ‘You don’t mean’ she stutters. You grin knowing where this is going. 

      “Leave it to Jiraiya to find a way to get them to-” The next paragraph steals your attention, that is the exact color of your lips, skimming over the dialogue, your prediction comes true but you're not focused on that. You’re focused on the descriptions. And when the courtesan's clothes come off your jaw drops. It was like ‘staring’ into a mirror. She has your exact proportions, the Samurai ‘Kakashi’ your mind supplies, kisses down the expanse of her torso, down every dip and curve. And every scar, freckle, and blemish matches. 

      You should’ve known since the beginning of the story. And your face burns when you keep reading, your teeth catching your bottom lip as you read about Kakashi ravishing you. You don’t hear your window open. 

      “Ma~ That doesn’t belong to you.” You shriek, chucking the book at him before getting into a defensive stance. Kakashi’s dark eyes curve in amusement when he catches it.  

       “Shit! Kakashi what the fuck!” The wind from the open window picks up the fabric of his white robes. “Fuck! I mean lord Hokage! Um, W-what brings you here?” 

        He doesn’t answer, instead, he leafs through the half-read novel. “How far did you get?” You try to collect yourself, your fingers dig into the material of your towel as you grip it shut. Eyes flickering across your room as your brain tries to come up with something. 

        “Um… K- T-the Samurai just got to Shukuba town.” You stutter. 

        “Hm. It’s not called Shukuba in the book.” 

        “Did I say that? I misspoke.” Your voice is strained, and the tips of your ears are on fire. 

        “Did you?” He asked, stepping toward you. You can’t seem to focus on his face, your eyes dancing across his striking form. He’s closer now, so much so that you can feel the heat coming off his body. ‘Was he always this tall? And when the hell did he pull down his mask!?' ’ His fingers are cool against your cheek. And his deep voice saying your name snaps you from your trance. “I asked you something.”

        “What?” You’re breathless, and you look up at him clearly flustered. “Oh, No? I mean yes? What did you ask?” You feel his breath ghost across your lips when he laughs. His thumb comes under your chin when you try to look away. The vertical scar dragging down his left eye takes your focus and you steady yourself. You breathe out allowing Kakashi to take you in. You don’t know why you never noticed him looking at you like that. “We never um… That never happened when you came to see me in Shukuba town.” 

       “No. No, It didn’t but I wanted it to.” He replies. “The disguise suited you. This suits you too.” 

       “What this towel?” You snort. 

       “I wasn’t talking about the towel.” Your brows furrow in question. “This expression.” You don’t get to reply, your words dying in your throat when his lips press to your forehead. You’re sure he could feel your temperature spike, and you gasp when his thigh slots in between your legs. “Suits you.” 

       “Ka-Kakashi?”

       “Hm?” You can’t seem to concentrate under his intense stare. 

       “So… You’ve liked me this whole time?” Your voice wavers.

        “This whole time.” He parrots, his cheeks dusted pink. “Sorry?” You can feel that he’s about to step back and your arms loop around his neck to keep him close. 

        “Don’t apologize. I like you too.” Your grin is a bit shy and your heart is racing when his nose bumps against yours. Your mind is reeling, you can’t believe this is real but your thoughts are swiftly silenced when his lips press against yours. He’s barely pulled away when your brining him back, tilting your head to deepen the kiss. Your gasping into his mouth when his tongue licks into your mouth. His fingers are at the back of your head pressing you closer, his other hand trailing down your side. His fingers squeeze your soft flesh, swallowing your soft moans. 

       You tug at the zipper on his vest, and he pulls back his face flushed, pupils dilated. He lets you zip down the zipper, his hands on the fold of your towel. “Can I?” You nod allowing him to pull the fabric, letting it slide down your body onto the floor. He’s on you in seconds, your back making contact with the sheets of your bed. You're helping him pull off his clothes between kisses and you can’t help but ask. “Can.. Can I finish the book later?” 

      “Why?” He hums against your jaw. 

      “Mmm What do you mean why?” You sigh, when his calloused palms massage your breasts. “I wanna know how it ends” You finish your sentence against his lips, His soft chuckle causes them to brush against his. 

       “It ends like this.” he smiles, and his fingers send shivers down your spine when he trails them down your sides. His bare skin sliding across yours almost makes you forget to ask. 

       “Like wha-” 

        His next kiss is sweet, unhurried, and devout. And he pulls back to gaze into your eyes. “You’re so clueless sometimes.” His eyes are two small crescents “It ends with me and you.” He presses another fiery kiss to your lips with a sigh. “Together.” 

[sayumiht]

@bellesans-merci I couldn’t help but think of your fic when I saw this image! Okami wolf summon to the go!

I was thinking about the summoning technique that Sakumo Hatake might have. We settled on an okami wolf named Ekiju

[sayumiht]

let's start with some kkshi sketches ig

[sayumiht]

Alone

Pairing: Hokage!Kakashi x f!Reader

Summary: Kakashi comes home late, to find that you left a note stating that you want to be left alone.

W/c: 1k (she bite-sized but I love her)

Warnings: Swearing, Kakashi's possessive and worries a lot

A/n: this one is entirely based off of this Frog and Toad story, so I only felt it was right to include the picture from the story's resolution. y'all know i just adore this man as hokage. lmk if this sucks, yk, the usual.

Masterlist💿

It had been another long day for the new Hokage. He was tired, he was stiff, and all he wanted was a kiss from you. He should have given you ten more kisses than he actually had given you, this morning - but, he was rushing, he had an early meeting.

Fuck, what an idiot. He should've been seizing every moment he had to kiss you, but he didn't, not this morning. He was being a terrible husband.

What if you thought so, too? What if you were feeling neglected, or, worse, unloved? What if that was the reason why you left such a cryptic, worrisome note for him to find when he got home?

Dear, Kakashi, I am not at home. I went out. I want to be alone. Y/n

He put the prettily penned note back onto the console table and shed his official robes. They were getting hot. The entire foyer of your home was getting hot.

Turning back to the door, Kakashi opened it back up with a shaking hand.

"Alone?" He murmured to himself as he shut it, again. As he walked away from the Red House, Kakashi scoffed, "Why does she want to be alone?"

Trekking away from the house, he wracked his brain, conjuring up a list of places you may be.

So, he started simple.

And he thanked the stars he hadn't checked anywhere else, first.

There, you laid, way out in the middle of a very wide pond, just North of Hokage Rock, in a little valley filled with flora, fauna, and the like.

A huge, grey rock held you above the water, just high enough so that the small ripples in the pond, caused by the frogs and little fish, didn't bother your sleeping form at all. Dragon flies zipped about you, only gracing you with a small bit of wind, and hardly a tickle or aggravation. Thin, weaning rays of sunlight passed through the tree line as the ball of fire made it's descent of the sky. They painted you with little golden dots, just over the long pants and tank top you had on.

Kakashi, almost, didn't want to wake you.

Almost.

Walking atop the water's surface, Kakashi strode over to you carefully, making sure not to make any undue splashes. As he walked, he berated himself.

Because you could have been sleeping, at home. You could have been doing this within the sanctity of your home, not out, where someone could just grab you. Shit, see a pretty lady, in the middle of a fucking pond, unconscious? Kakashi's instinct would be to help, even if he didn't know her - but there were some bad characters, who would not be so inclined. Why couldn't you just be a little more mindful of that? Kakashi worried about you, and your safety, and your health, but you didn't seem the least at all concerned.

Approaching you near silently, Kakashi ran his index finger down the inside of your arm, feeling the tender flesh as you twitched so preciously.

Fuck - the reason why you didn't care about you was because you didn't know how much he cared about you. That had to be it. He was underserving you, and that was just fucking criminal.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he whispered, watching your eyes slowly open as he continued to tickle your arm.

You blinked and a smile rose to your face, it almost confused Kakashi.

Slowly, you sat up and shirked his touch in favour of a stretch. It almost bothered Kakashi, but he was very aware that he was in no position to be bothered by something so trivial.

"What are you sorry for, Kakashi?" You asked after a yawn, that same little grin on your lips as you looked into his eyes with a sparkle in yours.

A little embarrassed to be made to say it aloud, Kakashi scratched the back of his neck. Oh, grow the fuck up - apologize to your wife like a proper man, or else she'll resent-

"I'm sorry for treating you so poorly," he began, much to your surprise. Your smile continued to inch off of your face as he went on, "I've been so consumed with the duties of being Hokage, that I've been neglecting you. The last thing I want is for you to be unhappy. I shouldn't have..."

You were laughing.

So quietly, a small snicker, a little giggle.

"I'm not unhappy, Kakashi," you grinned, shaking your head a tad.

"Then why did you want to go out, and be alone?" He asked, voice dipped in bewilderment.

Your smile had returned to simply rest on your face as you looked at him. Gently, you shrugged, and told him, "This morning, when I woke up, I felt good, because the sun was shining. I felt good, because I'm your wife. And I felt good, because I know I'm so, very loved. I wanted to be alone, so I could think about how wonderful everything is. That was all in the morning, and I had a very long meditation on this rock, then took an even longer nap. I wasn't aware of the time, and I thought I'd be home earlier- that you'd never even read the note."

Quietly, Kakashi sat down on the rock with you, knees suddenly weak. He had to take a few breaths, but, even then, he couldn't stop looking into your eyes.

Your beautiful eyes.

They didn't call him a fool, nor did they judge him for overthinking anything.

"Oh," he said lowly, after some time had passed. "I suppose that's a very good reason to want to be alone."

You just laughed, and stretched again, before standing atop the water. Extending your hand to him, you purred, "And now, I am glad to not be alone. Let's go home, and make dinner - I'm starved."

Kakashi took your hand gingerly. He stood and twirled you so that his arm rested on your shoulder naturally, as you maintained your hold of his hand. Bringing you close to his side, Kakashi just sighed contently, "I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you, Kakashi," you smiled up at him. "You really are a spectacular husband."

[sayumiht]

let's start with some kkshi sketches ig

[sayumiht]

Okey, I’m beyond excited, not only you wrote a new story with Aleksander, but it’s a whole new series!!! YESSSS and I already love it 😂 I can’t help it, the main character seems a badass, teasing and mocking Baghra, Alina and the others and having already so much history with Aleksander is a plus, moreover there are already some interesting points, like what happened between those two for them to part ways in such a disastrous way?

I love you... I am sorry

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/The Darkling x fem!witch! reader Summary: According to Baghra, there is only one person who can save her son. You—his first love and a witch who can control the powers of the Darkling. Aleksander becomes a prisoner of the Sun Summoner and King Nikolai, and you are to control and watch over him as he works for his redemption... but does he have the strength and will to continue fighting? And while everyone is busy saving Ravka from Fjerda and Shu Han, you're busy saving Aleksander from himself. Even though he doesn't want you around anymore... Taglist: @aoi-targaryen @chelseyyouraverageluigi @watersquirtpewpewboomm @summersummoner-pat Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ Main Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 2 ~•♤♤♤•~

"I don't like this," Nikolai grumbles as he, Baghra, and Alina walk deeper into the forest near Ulensk. "Wouldn't it be easier for us to just kill him?"

Alina tenses as she hears the howling of wolves nearby. She weakens her ball of light slightly and instinctively approaches Baghr. Ever since they destroyed the fold, Fjerda and Shu Han have become... more daring in their travels near the border. Something Aleksander had warned her about. She didn't want to risk running into one of the Fjerdan's stray troops.

"We are not like him. He deserves one last chance before we get rid of him." Nikolai sighs and nods. They walk in silence for a few more minutes until they finally reach a small clearing. Baghra stands, staring at one spot.

"Shine more brightly." She orders Alina and kneels down.

Baghra takes out a dagger and cuts her hand. She smears her blood across the leaves, mumbling words under her breath in old Ravkan. Alina and Nikolai look at each other uncertainly when suddenly the branches of the surrounding trees grow. They connect with each other, creating an impenetrable wall around the three of them. Nikolai reaches for his sword, and Alina instinctively reaches into her pocket for her amplifier. The fog thickens around them and the ground shakes slightly as a small wooden hut rises from beneath it.

"I'll go first." Baghra announces and stands up.

"No. We're all going together."

"She's probably not a big fan of yours, Sankta Alina." Baghra sneers, sending the girl a mocking look. "I better get her ready for you."

Alina stubbornly follows Baghra, ignoring her words and disapproving look. Nikolai reluctantly joins the two women, and so the three of them cross the threshold of the small hut.

They enter a living room full of bookshelves and various crystals. A fire burns in the fireplace, and the air smells of lavender from the incense burning on a table covered with various pots, magnifying glasses, and metal tools. The candles burn a little brighter when the door behind them suddenly closes with a loud bang.

"Millennium, and you haven't learnt to knock? Besides, I thought you hated draught." Baghra rolls her eyes at your mocking voice.

You push past the uninvited guests and sit down at the table. You sip your tea and throw the crystal into the cauldron, then set it over the fire burning in your fireplace.

"You probably know what my son has been up to lately?"

"Aleksander has always been an ambitious man. I thought we were all aware of that fact." Alina feels an unpleasant pang in her chest when you use the Darkling's true name when you refer to him. She shakes her head, trying to dispel the unwanted feelings.

"You call the creation and expansion of the fold ambitious?" Alina asks you, irritated. Baghra elbows her in the ribs, but she ignores it completely, giving you a stern, appraising look.

"And you probably think that destroying it was ambitious, right, little sunbeam?" You mock her without even looking at her. Alina doesn't like it at all.

"That was the right thing to do. That was needed to be done."

"Anything that helps you sleep better at night, sunshine. But you realise that now the Fjerdans and the rest will be entering Ravka as if it were their own land, right? If you think the fold was a problem for Grisha, just wait until all the kidnapping, rape, and experimentation on your people begins. I'd love to see what desperate move you will make next when you realise that your problems are only beginning, oh holy Sankta Alina of the Fold."

"I'm not here to discuss Ravka's future with you."

"You shouldn't be here at all." You state, and yawn boredly. You go to the fireplace and take your pot. You put it on the table and stir the dissolved crystal. You prepare a form to pour the mass, but first you add a few leaves and flowers to the substance.

"We need your help. With maintaining control over Aleksander."

"Oh really? Do you remember that time you told me to fuck off because I was of no use to you or your son?" You remind her, smirking as she clenches her teeth and fists, barely controlling her anger. "Besides, Aleksander has never been the submissive type... did it stay that way, Sankta Alina?" You almost laugh as you see the girl blush madly as she can't find her tongue at your comment.

"I… we never…"

"Oh really? Well, my mistake. And your loss." You say, winking at her and giving her a wolfish grin. Baghra clears her throat, drawing your attention for a moment.

"If you don't help us, they will kill him." You frown, setting down all your tools and turning to face the trio. A cold shiver runs down your spine as you carefully choose your next words.

“And remind me, why should I care?”

"I thought you liked your immortality." Baghra nods at your necklace. You wrap your hand around the small heart and swallow, examining her carefully.

"He told you?" You ask in shock, looking at the old woman.

"Of course not. It's Aleksander. I found out on my own." You roll your eyes and fold your arms at her accusatory tone of voice.

"Don't blame him for something you taught him yourself." You respond calmly, giving her a pointed, hard look. Baghra tenses and looks away from you to the crystals hanging above your table. The tension in the room is palpable as you both reminisce about old times.

Maybe centuries ago you managed to break through the wall Aleksander had placed around his heart and see the real him, but just as long ago as you gained access to the deepest and darkest part of him, you lost it long ago and quickly.

"Will you go with us?" Baghra growls, not meeting your eyes. You swallow hardly, thinking about it. You knew that there would come a time to right the wrongs of your past; you just didn't think it would happen so soon. Although, was 500 years a short time?

"And do I have another choice in this situation?" You sigh, knowing full well that it was time for you to join this great war the Summoners were leading.

Ravka needed you.

Aleksander needed you.

“What are you thinking about?” You whisper, placing small kisses on his neck—everywhere you can reach without taking your head off his shoulder.

You and Aleksander lie in the tent, listening to the crickets play their nightly tunes around you. You curl up against him, taking in his warmth as you both catch your breath after completing some... quite enjoyable and pleasant activities.

“How soft your skin is... just as if I were wearing the finest silk.” You snort at his words and prop yourself up on your elbow so you can look at him. You stroke his cheek with your hand, ignoring the prickly two-day stubble on his face, and lean down to whisper in his ear.

"Not that I don't appreciate your ability to fire off compliments so quickly, but I really want to know what's going on inside that pretty little head of yours."

Aleksander sighs heavily and pulls you to him. He kisses you full of passion and ardour, as if you hadn't just given yourself over to each other's desires a few minutes ago. You sigh quietly, allowing him to distract you for a moment with a heated kiss as he climbs on top of you again, trapping you in the cage of his arms.

You place your hands on his chest and reluctantly pull away from his kiss. You pull him closer to you so he rests his forehead against yours, and you inhale his scent, enjoying his closeness.

"I still remember my question, how about you?"

He sighs, playing with your hair. He closes his eyes and gives you one last, short kiss before he rolls onto his back, taking you with him. You sigh, lying pressed against his chest as you listen to the steady beat of his heart. Aleksander plays with your hair, drawing patterns on your scalp with his fingers. He gathers his thoughts, pulling you closer to him and swallows hard before finally speaking again.

"I saw Ulla." You frown, feeling his muscles tense beneath you. You gently trace patterns on his arm with your fingertips, watching him closely as he mentions his sister.

"How is she?"

"Besides the fact that that idiot broke her heart? Very… lonely from what she told me." You sigh and press a kiss on his shoulder. He gives you a small half-smile and runs a hand through your hair.

"She needs time to heal. You'll see, you'll complain again that she and I spend too much time at the fairs and by the lakes and that she's stealing me from you." You joke, hoping to hear him chuckle, but he just sighs deeply, still haunted by thoughts of his sister.

"I asked her to return. To me. To us." He says thoughtfully and unconsciously tightens his grip on you, as if he were afraid that you might slip out of his arms at any moment.

"She didn't agree, I assume?" You ask quietly, cupping his cheek in your hand and stroking it tenderly with your thumb.

You want to give him all the physical closeness he needs. Give him every little reassurance that for now you're staying and you're not going anywhere. Or at least you hope to stay with him a little longer...

"Every person close to me, whether from my family or not, eventually leaves me. And never comes back. I'm afraid it'll be the same with her. I've buried a lot of brothers and sisters... but Ulla... it's different with her. I've taken care of her since she was a child. From the very beginning. I know she won't live as long as I, but... I'm sick of everyone leaving me."

"Ulla loves you. She won't leave you for long… I hope so."

"And would you come back to me? If we somehow got separated... would you return if I asked you to?" He asks, looking at you carefully.

In a heartbeat. You think about it, but you don't tell him. You don't want to give him false hope. Instead, you press lazy kisses along the column of his neck and jaw.

"Depends on how passionately you would ask me to…" You whisper seductively against his ear. A smirk appears on his face, and he raises an eyebrow, giving you a wicked, suggestive look.

“Greedy little thing.” He mumbles, nuzzling your cheek. His lips descend to your neck, where he sucks a hickey. You moan, exposing more of your neck to him and grinding against him.

“That’s why you love me.” You whine as he pushes you onto your back and presses his chest against yours. He cups your cheek in his hand, staring at you as if he’s trying to memorise and engrave every little detail of your face into his memory.

"I love you for more than that, little witch…" He mumbles into your neck, sending shivers down your spine.

A shiver of desire courses through you again. You pull him to you and kiss him passionately, digging your fingers into his shoulder as his hand wanders below your collarbone and cups your breast. He massages and kneads your body, plays with your nipple, and all you can think about is how good you feel under him, how he makes you experience pleasure so intense that you doubt you'll find it with anyone else.

You don't want to look for anything else. You want to be under him forever, intoxicated by the touch of his soft lips and rough hands as he takes you apart into tiny pieces, showing you the secrets of unimaginable and immense pleasure that makes you feel like you can't breathe anymore.

And you find yourself wanting to stop breathing if it meant that you would stay with him forever.

"From where exactly did you get your powers? Grisha are born that way, what about you? Has your family been witches for generations?" The young king of Ravka's question tears you from your thoughts.

"Why this curiosity, Your Highness?" You reply teasingly, watching him closely as you all rode horses to the capital.

You had been on the road for a few days now, and you were now leading them to one special place. Alina and Baghra, when they weren't giving you suspicious glances, were whispering to each other. Meanwhile Nikolai was trying to keep you occupied with conversation. He turned out to be a pleasant traveling companion. Not like certain women.

"A good king should take an interest in his subjects and know what kind of people live within the walls of his kingdom." His simple answer surprises you a little. The kings of his dynasty had a... completely different approach to this. Your years had taught you to distrust all monarchs, but this young king really did seem different from them all. You wondered how quickly he would fall.

"I am not your subject. I may live in Ravka, but neither I nor my family have ever sworn allegiance to the kings frim your dynasty. And we don't intend to."

"I see… so a free spirit? A woman of the world, as they call it?" You chuckle at this, shaking your head gently.

"You could say that. We sleep where we have comfortable moss under our heads, under the open sky with the stars as our guardians. I and the witches of my tribe are one with nature, with the earth, with what grows and dies on it. We are the guardians of the circle of life."

"However, not all of them decide to be in this cycle of life and follow it." Baghra points this out scathingly. You turn in your saddle to look at her for a moment.

"My immortality is no problem for Mother Nature, Baghra. Neither is yours. Nor is Aleksander's, or your little saint's. But it is in my care that the whole world does not suddenly become immortal. There is a worse evil in your shadows than you, volcra or nichevo'ya. And if I could go back in time, I would do the exact same thing… maybe just in a different way."

You shift your gaze from the old woman to the lakes before you, leading your horse onto a side path. You were not far from your destination place. You close your eyes and sigh, trying not to bring up any more memories of your past... any memories of HIM.

Yet, no matter how many years you have lived, you have never been able to contain your burning feeling of regret whenever you remembered what happened between you and Shadow Summoner.

"So? From where did you get your powers?" Nikolai pursues the topic, wanting to know the answer to his question. You run a hand through your hair and pull the hood over your head, realizing you won't get far without an answer. Autumn was coming. Cold autumn.

"The witches' coven I belong to accepts a new member every 100 years. In exchange for the powers the new witch receives from Mother Nature, she must sacrifice something."

"So what did you sacrifice? Your mortality?"

"No. She has sacrificed her ability to lie. She can only tell the truth. But do not be deceived. Even without that, she can conceal part of the truth and mislead you." Baghra answers for you. You roll your eyes at her, scanning the area. You smile when you see a familiar pine tree.

"I had a reason to do that. It was not an act of cunning on my part. I had to unless... that's not important now. Besides, I am far from a master like you, Baghra." You hear Nikolai chucklea softly as you speed up your horse. You reach the tree and dismount, sighing in relief as your feet touch the ground.

You walk to the tree and lean your hand against it. You grab one of the crystals you keep in your pocket and the dagger. You make a hole in the tree's bark and insert the crystal. You whisper a few words under your breath and sigh, feeling the wind on your skin. The water in the lake splits in half. You turn around with a small smile on your lips.

"Hello Ulla." You greet Aleksander's sister with a smile, watching Baghra turning pale from the corner of your eye as she faces the daughter she abandoned ages ago.

Best day of your life.

"How is he?" You ask Aleksander's sister when she returns from the cell they're keeping him in. The brown-haired one snorts, jumping onto your bed and taking your glass of whisky from you.

Today, your little group finally made it to the capital. The first thing Ulla did was visit her brother. She looked older than the last time you saw her. Streaks of grey hair were starting to appear on her head, and you swear you saw a few wrinkles on her face. Time had done its thing to her. Your heart ached at the thought that in 300 years, she might not be here anymore...

"Angry, frustrated, resigned. At first, I didn't recognise him at all. Those scars... and he... he doesn't have that twinkle in his eyes like he used to. Like... like he doesn't care anymore. He was excited to see me, but this... this isn't the same Aleksander he was before. I felt like a stranger was standing before me, not Sasha. Baghra was right. Something's wrong with him."

"I'll kill their little saint. And your mother." You growl completely mad at them both because of the state they brought Aleksander to and get out of your bed. You go to the closet and put on one of your grey coats, ignoring the mischievous look Ulla gives you.

"You still love him, don't you?" You roll your eyes at her and shove your hands into your pockets, making sure you have a few crystals there in case you need to use your magic.

"I forgot how much you love coming up with your conspiracy theories. Which by the way are very annoying."

"You're not answering my question." She replies with a smirk. She walks over to you and gently smooths your hair. You snort, pushing her hands away, knowing full well that she's getting you ready to meet her brother.

"It's no secret that I care about him. We spent a good few years together, almost a century if I remember correctly. Is it possible to just forget about someone like that?"

"I don't think so. You should have seen his reaction when I told him you came here with me. I thought he had a heart attack." You groan at her words, disbelieving that she was actually playing matchmaker between you and her brother right now.

"You told him?!"

"You go to him anyway. What's the problem?" She replies indignantly, walking back to your bed and laying down on it. You roll your eyes at her, and with a wave of your hand, the pillow she had under her head disappears. Ulla shouts at you angrily, and you quickly materialise the pillow in your hands and throw it at the woman.

"Because of you, I lost all the element of surprise that I could have used on him to get some information!" You growl at her angrily, grabbing and throwing away the pillow she threw at you. You jump on the bed and pin her to the mattress, laughing at her as she growls, trying to get out from under you.

"Wait! Wait! I'll tell you how he reacted to that!!" She screams from under the pillow you've started to smother her with. You lift the pillow enough to look at her face.

"How? He made those big, puppy eyes of his and asked you to free him from his cell so he could run to me and give in to his long-held passion and feelings?" You mock her as you climb off of her. You lean against the wooden bedpost, watching her try to catch her breath.

"More or less… he asked what you looked like, how you were, if we had met before… if you were with someone." She says maliciously, giving you a big, sly, wolfish smile.

"You're joking, right?" You ask her, trying to hide your surprise under a neutral, bored tone.

"No. Our Sasha wanted to know if you had someone for his place."

"Is that exactly how he put it in words?"

"Well… maybe not." She replies after a moment, running a hand through her hair. You sigh, shaking your head at her in disbelief. So many years, and sometimes she still behaved like a child.

"Ulla." You growl at her and reach for the pillow again.

"Okay, okay. No need to be violent. He asked if Baghra had also sent for you, so that you could fly in on your magic broom and stab him in the heart once and for all, or if you had found yourself a new more intersting toy, but hey, at least he was interested and asked!"

"Poor consolation."

"You know how Sasha is." You sigh in resignation at this. You bite your lip so hard that you taste your own blood on your tongue. You promised yourself that you wouldn't get your hopes up… Aleksander and you were a long-finished affair. No matter what his sister thought.

"I know him too good to have any illusion that he sees me as anything more than an enemy and a traitor." You answer and get out of bed, mentally preparing yourself to meet him.

"Where are you going?!"

"To him! A day without tormenting him is a wasted day!" You shout over your shoulder and close the door behind you.

You walk lazily through the corridors of the Grand Palace, as if deliberately prolonging the moment of seeing Aleksander, and head towards the second building in the royal courtyard. You sigh again as the majestic panorama of the Little Palace unfolds before you.

Looking at the beautiful, imposing building, you reluctantly recall the plans your Shadow Summoner made centuries ago.

“What are you doing?” You ask, coming up behind him as he sits at one of the tables in the library of the town you’re staying in for a few nights.

Aleksander bounces slightly in his chair and quickly shoves his sketchbook and art supplies into his bag. You frown, wondering what he's hiding from you, when he turns to you with that damn distracting smirk on his face.

"Nothing important, milaya. Were you looking for me? Do you need anything?" He asks and walks over to you, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He cups your cheeks in his hands and kisses your forehead tenderly before he wraps his arm around your waist and starts leading you out of the library.

"Your mother was looking for you. She needs babysitters for Ulla again." You say, nuzzling his neck and inhaling his scent. You wrinkle your nose at the familiar scent of burning metal and sweat from his work at the forge. He laughs at your reaction and pulls you closer to him, making sure you don't pull away from him despite everything.

"I know, I need to take a bath. But I hope you will help me?"

"Taking a bath?" You ask suggestively, laughing as he blushes all shyly and looks at you nervously.

"No!" He almost screams and buryes his face in your hair with a groan as you continue to laugh at him. "Taking care of Ulla."

"Always. But first…" you start and reach into his bag. You pick out his sketchbook and run forward, looking for the page he was working on so furiously in the library before you spoke.

“Y/N, no!” Aleksander shouts and runs after you. A few long strides of his, and you’re pinned to the ground by him. You laugh and struggle under him, but your struggle is futile. He quickly rips the sketchbook out of your hands and puts it somewhere safe before he pins your wrists to the ground. "You can't look into it without my permission. It is... personal."

"Sorry, handsome." You say and kiss his blushing cheek. You giggle as he lets go and climbs off of you. Before he can stand up, you snuggle into his back and wrap your arms around him. Your nose brushes his ear as you whisper quietly. "But you're so secretive lately… you know I don't like to not know what's in that pretty little head of yours. If you don't want to talk, then don't, but I just want to know if everything's okay and if there's nothing steaming up under your skull."

"I'm fine… I just... I will tell you in our room in tavern." You nod at his words and grab his hand. He gives you a small smile as you both walk through town, ignoring the looks you get from passersby who witness your little skirmish.

Once you're there, Ulla runs straight to Aleksander, wrapping her little arms tightly around his legs. The little one cries into his pants, sobbing that she thought you had abandoned her. The sight breaks your heart and makes you want to cut Baghra up and roast him into little pieces.

Aleksander abandons his bag and embraces the girl in a tight embrace. He goes to one of the single beds and tries to calm her down, whispering soft words of reassurance into her ear that he will never leave her. You sigh and pick up Aleksander's bag. You put it back on the hanger and briefly consider peeking in.

You abandon the idea and head back to the two of them to join in the group hug. You silently worry about what your "boyfriend" might have come up with. You're afraid it'll be something for your ring finger.

A moment later, as Ulla falls asleep with her head on your lap, Aleksander returns with dinner for the three of you. His sketchbook is tucked under his arm.

"I want to show you something." He whispers and sets the food on the nightstand next to your double bed. He crouches down next to the sinle bed where the two of you are and opens the book. Your heart is beating like crazy, your hands shaking as you take the leather-bound book from him.

"What is this?" You ask, looking closely at the outline of a grand building. It looked almost like a palace.

"I... I know this life isn't one of the best we could have... but it's still one of the best I've ever had. Of course it's all thanks to you and Ulla. I... I have a proposition before me. A very serious one. If I play my cards right, I'd like to build a place for the three of us. And for the other Grisha who are in need of their own safe place. Can you imagine? No more working in some shitty places, no more hiding our identity... it could be really nice, right?"

You sigh, gently placing Ulla's head on the pillow. You take Aleksander's hand and lead him to your bed. You both sit up slowly as you think about everything he's just told you.

"That... would be nice. But... Aleksander, this is a palace. The king would never agree; you know how he feels about us. Tell me you're not getting involved in anything dangerous." You sigh and place your hand on his cheek. He buries his face in your palm and closes his eyes. He wraps his arms around you tightly and presses a kiss to your temple before burying his nose in your hair.

"I'll be fine… but I'm tired of hiding. It's time to come out of the shadows… start using my powers and do something good not only for us, but for the other Grisha. Too many of us have died because of their stupidity."

"And I don't want your name added to that long list. Ulla needs you, and I'd rather have you alive with me, too." You mumble into his neck, holding on to him tighter.

"Is this your way of saying that you love me?" He asks teasingly, drawing patterns on your back with his fingers.

"That's my way of telling you that if you die, I'll find some damn spell or some other way to bring you back to life just so I can skin you for being such an idiot to get yourself killed."You growl quietly so as not to wake up Ulla and pull away from him to look into his eyes. Aleksander swallows, realising how true your words are.

"I'm not leaving you… not on purpose. I will always do everything in my power to come back to you. I promise." He whispers and kisses you sweetly, softly, thus sealing his promise.

You wrap your arms around him and pull him closer to you. You fall onto the mattress on your back with him above you and surrender to the blissful feeling of his arms around you.

You try to enjoy this as long as you can.

Before you know it, you're standing in front of the door to his cell. Sankta Alina and her king Nikolai have taken pity on him enough to set up cells for him in his former general's quarters. Of course, only after they've thoroughly searched the room. Such a petty act of malice.

You take one deep breath and enter the chamber.

It's dark there. Terribly dark. You can barely see your fingers as you close the door behind you. You reach for the crystal in your pocket and pull it out, holding it like a torch. You mutter the appropriate spell under your breath, and suddenly light emanates from the gem. You sigh as you see Aleksander standing just outside the bars, already staring at you intently.

"Aleksander." You whisper, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling you get from looking at the scars on his face and the fact that he hasn't spoken or made a fucking move yet. Not even for an inch. You doubt if he even blinks once since you entered. The son of a bitch was trying to intimidate you and scare you away. "Did they cut out your tongue?" You scoff, walking up to him and giving him an equally crazy, psychopathic look.

"Will you ever learn how to knock?"

"You seem to be very aware of my presence even before I open this door. Unless you have so many guests here that you simply cannot tear yourself away from these bars?"

"Too much lately." He hisses in irritation through clenched teeth, at which you roll your eyes.

"Hmm… good thing I'm not your guest." You say sarcastically and wave your hand, teleporting one of the chairs from his cell/chamber to the other side of the bars. You sit comfortably in front of him with the light-emitting crystals in your lap and just look at him, waiting for him to speak.

"I guess if I don't do this, you'll never get out of here, so there you go. Why are you here?" He asks after a long moment of silence, sighing as he finally gives up.

"I have been given a task by Their Royal Highnesses." You scoff, watching as the frown on his forehead deepens as he ponders the hidden meaning behind your words. "Aren't you curious what it might be?"

"With their brains? No big deal, I suppose." He mocks them and steps away from the bars. He pours himself a glass of whisky and sits down at a table with maps spread out on it. You raise an eyebrow at how... convenient he is. You don't remember the guest room they assigned you having such comforts.

"Yet they have locked you up here… without powers I suppose? I cannot feel your shadows." You see his fingers tighten angrily around the glass. You make a mental note that this is clearly not a pleasant topic for him.

"Still have that pendant?" He asks, nodding at you when he spots your heart-shaped pendant. You tense up and pull your knees to your chest, blocking his view of the necklace.

"Apparently. Would I be here if I didn't have it?" You answer carefully, fully aware of the game you're playing with Aleksander now. Everything you said was meant to hurt the other, to prove that you weren't impressed at all by being in the other's presence again. Even if you both had some... strong feelings at the sight of the other, you wouldn't admit it.

All that mattered now was who would win and hit the hardest, breaking the mask of indifference that you both tried so hard to keep on your faces... although his eyes tell you a little that your presence here isn't so irritating and indifferent to him at all.

"Of course not. After all you don't have a heart of your own."

You smile, trying not to show how his words really affected you. You internally regret that he went from being the person you trusted with all your worries to someone you wouldn't let see even a glimmer of pain in your eyes.

"Ouch. That hurt. And here I tried to be nice and inform you that for now on I am your guard and I oversee your resocialization process."

"I beg you pardon?" He asks in shock as you casually play with the gem in your hands. Aleksander watches closely as the light from it reflects off your fingers, face, chin, cheeks, lips…

"Just like you heard, honey. We'll be spending more time together again, aren't you happy?" You reply with a mocking smile and watch him carefully, gauging how he reacts to this new message.

"Resocialization? Does the fact that I wanted to help Grisha make me some kind of criminal from Ketterdam?"

"Words of Sankta Alina, not mine. Your ex probably doesn't like you very much. And from what I heard, you started destroying villages. You know who used such practices, right?" At the reference to his mother, he becomes even more gloomy. You get the feeling that if he could still control his shadows, he would at that very moment engulf the room in total darkness.

"Alina is not my ex." He merely comments as he adjusts the fastenings of his all-black kefta.

"My bad."

He stares at you for a long moment. You feel your skin burn where his eyes linger a little longer. You take advantage of that time to watch him too, searching for any slight changes in him since you last saw him.

"You, of all people, are supposed to lead me to the good, righteous path? This is ridiculous." You snort, also amused by the absurdity of this situation. Out of the two of you, N had always been the more... righteous one. Ironically, you were the one who was supposed to dig up the last remnants of his morality.

"Well, for some reason they want you alive. And they want you to cooperate. I'm supposed to be… a go-between in all of this mess."

"More like an infernal messenger of the devil." You smile, shaking your head. Aleksander tries to ignore the slight flutter in his heart and the pleasant warmth spreading through him as he witnesses your smile again.

"You always knew how to give me such beautiful compliments."

"They are desperate, aren't they? Destroying the fold didn't help and now they don't know what to do and want my advice? Tell your masters it's too late now." He says, returning to the main topic. He stands up from the war table, and you see him heading deeper into his chambers, probably his bedroom. With a wave of your hand, you close the door in his face before he has a chance to leave the room.

"You know very well that I have no master over me." You tell him, standing up from the chair as he slowly turns to face you.

"You haven't changed a bit, have you Y/N?" He asks, slowly approaching you. You shiver when you hear your name on his tongue. You clench your hands behind you as he slowly approaches you. The tension in the room is immense as you both stand as close to the bars as you can.

"Well, apparently neither do you." You whisper, trying to ignore the way he smelled so wonderful, how in an instant his closeness and the warmth he radiated made you feel at home again. How much you wanted to sink back into his arms and his sheets…

"Why are you here?" He asks, but is met only by your silence and a cold gaze that almost makes him tremble. "Don't you have other things on your mind? You're not going to tell me that this is only for my sake? I know perfectly well that you wouldn't return if I asked you. So why did you listen to my mother and also bring Ulla?"

"You don't know if I would come back. You never asked." You respond, your voice barely above a quiet purr. There’s a long silence after your words. He lifts his hand and wraps his fingers around the bars—dangerously close to your cheek.

"And are you surprised?"

"No. Actually, I am not."

You examine the scars on his face and barely manage to stop yourself from slipping your fingers between the bars and tracing them with your fingertips. Aleksander holds his breath, his lips twitching as he resists any movement under your watchful gaze.

He fights with himself not to reach for you and brush his fingers against your soft, velvety skin, or check that you're actually here in the flesh and not a figment of his imagination. Your sweet scent intoxicates him, reminding him how dangerous you are and that he can't trust you like he did. Which doesn't change the fact that he wants it so much.

"Gently, Ivan." You frown, not understanding what he means.

"What..." You're not allowed to finish. You feel your heartbeat slow down, and you slip into unconsciousness, only noticing the red and black kefta of one of his heartrenders out of the corner of your eye.

Your vision blurs, you slowly fall asleep, and all you can see before you collapse into the heartrender's arms are Aleksander's black eyes.

The son of a bitch ordered one of his men to put you to sleep and carry you out of his cell. Bastard.

[sayumiht]

[sayumiht]

上忍オビト生存イフ好き〜！！