sayumiht

[sayumiht]

OMG! All this art is awesome!! 😍😍

IT'S KAKASAKU DAY!!!!!

[sayumiht]

RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

“Loving Kakashi Hatake feels like the wind, a constant presence that sweeps you off your feet and keeps you on your toes, never quite knowing what’s next, but always feeling like home.”

A - Affection

Kakashi isn’t the most openly affectionate person, but when he loves, he loves. He won’t smother you in PDA, but when you get him alone? His hands are everywhere, brushing your hair out of your face, tracing your back, brushing your knuckles, or tugging you a little closer when he thinks you’re not paying attention. And if he’s really missing you? He’ll grab your face, press his forehead to yours, and just breathe you in. It’s not flashy, but it’s… him.

B - Beauty

He swears he doesn’t have a type, but let’s be honest. He’s a sucker for pretty eyes. He believes eyes are the windows to who you really are, like they hold all your secrets, your thoughts, everything you’re too afraid to say out loud. He’s drawn to the way they change with every emotion, every glance, and how they give away more than you think. If you ever catch him staring, he’ll just smile and say, ‘Eyes don’t lie.’ And yeah, he’s definitely weak for the way yours speak to him.

C - Cuddling

Kakashi acts like he doesn’t care about cuddling, but the second you pull him close? He’s gone. He won’t admit it, but he sleeps better with you curled up against him, his arm draped lazily over your waist. If you ever run your fingers through his hair while he’s half-asleep? Yeah, he’s never letting you go.

D - Dates

He likes the simple things. Walks through the village at night, quiet dinners at home, laying in the grass watching clouds, reading together in bed. Nothing crazy, just you two time. But if you try dragging him to some ridiculously romantic thing, like candlelit dinners and all that? He’ll complain the whole time, but you can catch him sneaking glances at you. Yeah, he might pretend he doesn’t like it, but he totally does.

E - Excitement 

Kakashi doesn’t get outwardly excited often, but you know when something matters to him. He gets quiet. Like really quiet. His fingers will twitch, his eye will crinkle at the edges, and if he’s really excited, he’ll suddenly become very interested in holding your hand. It’s adorable. And if he ever drags you off somewhere with a little too much urgency, just go. It means he’s excited, even if he won’t say it.

F - Fighting

He hates arguing. He’d rather sit in silence than say something he doesn’t mean. If you’re upset, he’ll let you talk, arms crossed, head tilted, like he’s really listening. He never raises his voice. Never. Ever. But the second he realizes he’s hurt you? Oh, he’s fixing it, no questions asked. Kakashi doesn’t have time for pride. He’s lost too many people to let things go unresolved.

G - Gifts

Kakashi is the king of subtle gifts. Mention you like a book? It’ll magically show up on your nightstand. Run out of your favorite tea? A fresh bag will just appear in your kitchen. If you ever thank him, though, he’ll just shrug and say, “Must’ve been a coincidence.” (Yeah, right. Liar.)

H - Honesty

He doesn’t lie. Kakashi won’t sugarcoat things, life’s too short for that. He won’t tell you what you want to hear just to make you happy. Not in a cruel way, but in a way that makes it impossible to doubt him. If he says he loves you, he means it. If he’s worried about you, you’ll know.

I - Intimacy 

Kakashi’s all about the little things. Like how he brushes your hair behind your ear, or how his fingers linger on your skin just a moment longer than they need to, showering together after a long day, washing each other’s hair, reading a book side by side, or just stealing soft butterfly kisses. Sometimes, in those quiet moments, he’ll trace your face with his fingertips, your cheekbone, your jaw, the curve of your lips, like he’s trying to memorize you. It’s those little things that mean everything.

J - Jealousy

Kakashi’s not the jealous type. He trusts you completely. But if someone gets a little too close? Oh, he definitely makes his presence known. He won’t say a word, but suddenly, he’s right behind you, his arm casually around your waist. He doesn’t have to make a scene, just tilts his head, his eye narrowing, and somehow, the person flirting with you suddenly finds something really important to do far, far away.

K - Kisses

Two words. Slow and deep. The kind that leaves you breathless. Kakashi doesn’t rush kisses, he takes his time, tilting your chin up, brushing his lips just barely over yours before finally pressing in. And when he’s feeling extra affectionate? He’ll kiss the corner of your mouth, your jaw, the tip of your nose, everywhere, just to see you melt. (Good luck breathing after!)

L - Laughter

His real laugh? It’s rare, but when you hear it? It’s everything. He’ll tilt his head back, his eye crinkling, his whole body shaking just a little as he tries to hold it in. And goodness, it’s beautiful. The kind of laugh that makes you want to keep doing whatever you can to hear it again. It’s like hearing the quietest, most perfect thing you didn’t know you needed.

M - Mornings

Kakashi is the grumpiest morning person. He hates getting up. If you try to wake him, he’ll just groan, bury his face in your neck, and mumble something incoherent. And if you let him sleep in? Yeah, good luck getting him out of bed at all.

N - Nicknames

Kakashi isn’t big on nicknames, but when he does use them, they’re always sweet like “Princess” or “Love.” It’s his way of showing he cares without making a big deal about it. But when you start calling him things like “Prettt boy,” “Sexy,” or “Silver fox,” he gets way more flustered than he’ll ever admit. He tries to play it cool, but the way his face turns red and he suddenly gets quiet? Yeah, it’s all you need to know that you’ve completely flustered him.

O - Obsession

He’s weirdly obsessed with your scent. If you ever catch him wearing your scarf or stealing your blanket, no, you didn’t.

P - Protectiveness

Kakashi worries a lot. He won’t show it, won’t be overbearing, but he knows how fast things can be taken away. He watches your back without you even noticing, always making sure you’re safe. And if anyone dares to threaten you? Oh, they don’t exist anymore.

Q - Quiet Time

He loves just being with you. Sitting in silence, enjoying each other’s presence. No pressure to talk, no expectations, just you and him, existing together in the kind of peace he never thought he’d have.

R - Romance

Loving him isn’t about grand declarations. It’s the way he makes sure you know without ever having to say a word. In every touch, in every glance, in every quiet moment where words aren’t needed.

S - Secrets

He doesn’t open up easily. But when he does? Goodness, he means it. If Kakashi lets you in, lets you see his fears, his grief, his real self. Just know that he trusts you with everything he has.

T - Touch

He lives for physical touch. It’s how he grounds himself. A hand on your knee, a brush of fingers against your wrist, small fleeting touches that remind him you’re real.

U - Unwavering

Once he’s yours? He’s yours. No hesitation, no second-guessing. Kakashi doesn’t love lightly, When he chooses you, it’s forever.

V - Vulnerability

It’s hard for him. But on the nights when he can’t sleep, when his past feels too heavy, he’ll let you hold him. Let you kiss his temple, run your fingers through his hair, remind him that he’s here, that he’s loved.

W - Warmth

Kakashi always runs cold. His hands, his feet, the tip of his nose when he leans in too close. And maybe that’s why he’s always pulling you into him, why his fingers slip under the hem of your shirt just to press against your skin. You’re his warmth, his home. It’s in the way he tucks himself against you when he’s tired, like he’s chasing your heat, like you’re the only thing that thaws the chill he carries. With you, warmth isn’t just body heat. It’s the way he exhales a little deeper when you hold him, the way his shoulders finally relax, the way he lets himself breathe.

X - XOXO

He’s big on forehead kisses. If he ever presses his lips against your forehead and murmurs something soft? Yeah, go ahead and melt.

Y - Yearning

He misses you constantly, even if you were just here. It’s in the way his gaze drifts to the door after you leave, like he’s waiting for you to walk back through it. The silence between you two feels louder when you’re not around, and he fills it with thoughts of you. Even when he doesn’t say anything, you can feel it in the way his hand lingers near yours, hoping you’ll come back to him soon.

Z - Zen

You are his peace. His home. In your presence, the world feels quieter, like everything slows down just to let him breathe. Every touch, every glance, is a reminder that he’s exactly where he belongs.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Loving Kakashi Hatake was never going to be easy. He was distant, guarded, impossible to hold onto. But goodness, when he loved? He loved like he was never going to let go.

[sayumiht]

Reposting it because this list is awesome!

KakaSaku Fic Recommendations 🌸⚡:

(just because…)

(all are completed)

Time Travel Fics:

In case of Blue Scroll (multi-chaptered) 

Looped  (multi-chaptered) 

Unbroken  (multi-chaptered)

The Hokage’s Wife 

if I could turn back time (multi-chaptered) 

at second glance (multi-chaptered)

when I see you again (multi-chaptered) 

the fletcher’s heart paradox (multi-chaptered) 

BECOMINGS AND NEVER WERES by @mouseymightymarvellous

time travel by @bouncyirwin​ (same story is turned into an ongoing multichaptered fic- The Story Of Another Us)

past present by @bluefurcape

A Reason To Change

So, You Hate Your Future Wife                                                                                                                                                      

Thirteen Months, Four Days

Consequences

Bonds Through Time

Dear Future You

The Danger of Smudged Storage Seals ​

Personal Favorites:

To grow a garden (completed) 

diet 

the hardships of being a godfather 

dream a little dream (multi-chaptered) 

nice legs

j'accuse  (multi-chaptered) 

shotgun wedding (multi-chaptered)

nanda ka sabishii desu (multi-chaptered)

desperate measures (multi-chaptered) 

hokage sama 

the summoning 

yellow moon 

cuddler

point of grace 

Three Years & Counting 

puppies and babies 

tardy to the party

hot cocoa 

Divine Intervention

his fault  (multi-chaptered) 

daddy 

what the future holds  

storybook  

what happens now (multi-chaptered)  

traditions  

sing (multi-chaptered) 

kakashi’s confession 

Christmas wish  (multi-chaptered)

You only live twice 

Kakashi’s one night stand (multi-chaptered) 

hey baby, I think I wanna marry you 

the confessional onsen 

falling through holidays  (multi-chaptered) 

how about now 

quintessential (multi-chaptered) 

and also reindeer 

Bedmates 

morning of a househusband 

puppy love 

one night is all we need 

kind of dating

kitten or leopard 

say it again (multi-chaptered

Burrow 

Enough 

why not? 

The Armchair

Banish 

Bundle 

tomatoed halloween 

a good day today

nostalgia 

more 

14 gifts (multi-chaptered) 

picture books 

Flower Crowns and ANBU

Don’t Let Your Guard Down 

There Will Be Time 

shinobi of the sand (multi-chaptered) 

A is for ANBU  

A Pair of Red Gloves 

nine lives 

green-eyed monster 

even a blind pig 

bargain 

rose tinted

ignore the innuendo 

star of silver, heart of tin (multi-chaptered) 

those three words 

in his footsteps  (multi-chaptered) 

ichor runs through my veins, painting my very insides gold (god’s flesh does not come without a price)

what it means to love

perspective 

Black Rivers 

chidori no jutsu 

pancakes 

I Don’t Believe You 

try something

take my past, take my sins  (multi-chaptered) 

the alpha male

matchmaker, matchmaker 

the old biddy  (multi-chaptered) 

the fine machinery of spring  (multi-chaptered) 

peeping tom

the downward spiral 

good boy

Out of Order

distractions (multi-chaptered) 

the scarecrow and the cherry blossom (multi-chaptered) 

the old razzle dazzle (multi-chaptered) 

best christmas of my years 

lace

Take My Past And Take My Sins

rushing silver water 

firelight 

kakashi’s boredom 

a wonderful vacation (multi-chaptered)

disease 

taut

someone that you’re with 

the dance  (multi-chaptered) 

hiding behind masks 

two pink lines  (multi-chaptered) 

improper suggestions 

Christmas party 

sweetness and surprises 

cinnamon lips 

Against You 

life informs life

thunder and lightning (drabbles) 

Coloring and Games 

11 ways to change a mind 

stargazing 

the 12  days of Christmas 

an announcement 

sabotage 

simple things (multi-chaptered)

A Game of Make Believe

My Bed is Your Bed 

Swapped 

Milk Teeth

Tender loving care 

An Elegant Christmas 

Quarantine and Chill 

the other fight

Beautiful, Perfect Disaster

Two Proposals With One Answer

Kakashi Go ChompChomp

Dimension Travel :   Invasion of Privacy

the other fight

Confessions

Something to Talk About

Three’s A Crowd (fight or flirt)

Strange

Domestic

Photographs of you

New year with you

gone all red

Once Upon a Snowy Day

A Hatake Christmas

Ninja Dorks Flailing at Intrapersonal Relations

So, You Hate Your Future Wife

Kakashi and Sakura’s Infinite Playlist

I Don’t Know if This Helps it (but Good Job)

Confessions

New year with you

Swimming in Artificial Sweetener

Popsicle feud

Be back safe

Masquerade

heaven is in your kisses

Caffeine Cold

Adolescent

A Hatake Christmas

Got it From My Mama

Sakura Viewing (花見)

Little Ol’ Sakura

Rules Meant To Be Broken

Dimension Travel :   Konoha’s Most Wanted

Mother’s Favourite Things

Only Her

Got it From My Mama

better late than never

Rules Meant To Be Broken                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Silver Lining 

Dimension Travel : Where One Belongs

Between Truths and Lies, There’s You and I

Pull Me from the Water

KakaSaku one-shots

Sukea x Sakura :  something different

Accidental marriage :  Inside Out

Before Long

And It All Came Out Into The Open

Girl Talk

Move In With Me?

Stay

a scent of floral

What You Don’t Know (Sure Can Hurt You)

accidental marriage :  Consequences of Laziness

Urushi Snuggle?

Tricky Pumpkin Tactics

This is What Dreams are Made Of

forced marriage :  Dare to Dream Again

dimension travel :  That time I got hit by a bus and ended up in Magical Ninja Land where I stole the girl

How Does One Become a Dad?

A Couple, A Few, A Handful

Arranged marriage :  Tea For Two

Enough for Both of Them (sukea identity reveal)

(panic on the brain) world has gone insane

The Photographer’s Return (Sukea appearance)

The Scarecrow’s Legacy

Their Wilting Dreams and Fading Twilight

Whispers of Love

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

The Wingman (Obito is alive!)

What Are you Going To Do About It?

surprise, surprise

whats in a name (Sukea’s identity reveal)

House Calls

Sakura Tea for the Soul

demons x angels au : a kiss the Devil has known

mistakes

fake///pretend relationship :  I Want You to Settle Down With Me

Just Another Day at the Hatake Estate

Kamon (Clan’s Symbol)

Close Quarters

Flirting in Plain Sight

coward

I Choose You

A Wolf’s Heart

the mercurial retrograde

Move In With Me?

Fake/Pretend relationship :  The Worst That Can Happen Is You

Icha Icha! AU:

icha icha star

icha icha fanfiction 

icha icha sakura 

Madam Sakura 

operation distraction 

icha icha made me do it 

Icha Icha Pirates 

as luck would have it 

The Home Computer 

unorthodox birthday 

a star is born 

icha icha hokage-sama 

little orange book 

The Princess Tsunade 

icha icha innuendo 

Nocturnal Activities 

Cat! AU:

The Cat’s curse  (multi-chaptered)

kitty no jutsu

and you’re gonna hear me roar

furball

it started with a jutsu  (multi-chaptered)                                                                                             

karma is a cat

cat nap

The Outside

Same Age AU:

Mask Off, Santa Claus 

try something

It’s Useless if Not With You 

you are kind of weird…I like it 

always you

I wish

Finding You 

forgotten gift 

just a girl

limerence

when we were young

under the weather

summer storm

questionable intelligence

homecoming

love you little, love you long

roads untravelled

Smells Good to Me 

Code of Conduct 

Little Things 

Stay With Me 

same age by @murd3rm1ttens

Autumn by @ryekiree                                                                                                                                                                                                          

mussed

Missed Connections

Petal-Textured Skies

The Roommate

O Sol e a Lua

The Christmas Angel

Modern AU:

a brief introspective of sunflowers

take a chance and roll the dice 

you’ve got my time, you are my plans 

you are now connected 

borrowing

alone with you 

drunken craigslist ads and fake dating 

cut to commercial 

the intimacy of being understood

the chemicals between us 

On a Leash 

neon city 

dear diary

classroom-by-laws 

what happens in suna (lasts forever) 

i wish 

Homecoming

unrequited 

Serendipity

roll a charisma check 

Lights Out

questionable intelligence 

love you little, love you long 

man’s best friend 

the interview 

Business as Usual 

You Again 

That Fine Line

clause number eight

three little words

thou art a bitter bird, said the raven to the starling.

Dinner plans

Mystery Doors and Hospitals

Second Chances

Never Say Never

eyes on me                                                                                                                                                   

thou art a bitter bird, said the raven to the starling.

a girl walks into a bookshop

Can’t Help Myself

modern with magic :  Say What You Wish

magnetic heart

Hello Mr. December

Cinder

The K-Pop Idol and the Bodyguard

No Dogs Allowed (But Pups and Hounds)

Pleased to Meet You

Man’s Best Friend

How the Turns Have Tabled

Soulmates AU:

you know the tune, so words don’t matter

Knuckles

solemates

to keep a promise or two

make it holy

against fate

touch of fate

your most important person

the sweetest lies

total eclipse of the heart

listen closely

Dreams Are Made of This 

i’m here 

The Numbers of My Sins 

in another life

expected

soulmark

Like Smoke in Your Arms 

âme soeur

Eternity

Once Hidden

Fare Thee Well

Loved the Hell Out of Me

Amnesia AU:

mine

the empty heart 

curtain call

to come back to you                                                                                                                                                                                             

until the end of existence

Fate & Memories

Hanahaki disease:

love stinks

all she ever dreamt of

The Blood Red Cherry Blossoms

Still Blooming

sugar and camellia

Drunk KakaSaku:

the rewards of lying

drunken kisses

empty shot glasses

until morning

kakashi and booze

innuendo

settle into spring

forearms

lie 

slip of the tongue

failed memories 

gamble

it started with a bet

Kakashi’s Answering Machine

Strangely Familiar 

Simple Pleasures 

Party Favours

daddy’s little girl 

Drunken Confessions

good to you

Ask me again

KakaSaku and Sasuke:

Better Man 

a brief introspective of sunflowers (multi-chaptered)

picking up VIII

unworthy

discoveries in oil  (multi-chaptered)

canonization

requests

downpour (multi-chaptered)

Kakashi Hatake: The Uchiha’s Rival in Love (multi-chaptered)

Henge Love (multi-chaptered)

skip a Beat

against the sky

another life (multi-chaptered)

Unbreak My Heart

Irrelevant

I Can’t Make You Love Me

Don’t Break Her Heart

Let The Truth Sting 

Fight For Love (multi-chaptered)

Sasuke Returns 

identity Crisis

Resolutions 

an unfortunate encounter

Twelve years

A Late Hour

An Honest Talk

Memories

Jealousy

Sakura blossoms differently every spring (extremely underrated)

Tagpuan

The Room You Make For Me                                                                                                       

Don’t Marry Him

An Unexpected Visit

Let me Build a Home with You

The Eighth Hokage

It’s My First Time (Be Gentle)

High Infidelity

Updating the list frequently. Last updated on 03.12.2024 📍 

[sayumiht]

YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE

Summary: Aleksander always knew his soulmate had to be the fabled Sun Summoner. it was one of the last things he was absolutely certain of... BUT HE DIDN'T CONSIDER THIS

Warnings: single mother!reader, toddler!sun summoner, nonGrisha mother!reader, mentions of brother and father loss, AFAB!reader, no real physical descriptions, nothing else really just stupid tooth rotting fluff with maybe a little hurt/comfort

A/N: this was originally posted on my old account of the same url feel free to like again or if youd rather here is the ao3 link.

The squealing seemed to echo down the long hallway and no matter how they may have all tried, servants and Grisha alike had to smile. It wasn't often laughter was heard anywhere in Little Palace and no one giggled quite like their newest little addition. Aleksander had spent so long firm in his knowing that one day he would find his Sun Summoner. Maybe longer believing with body and soul that such a Grisha had to be his soulmate. The one he was destined to love and to love him. His equal. His much awaited balance.

Funny how he could have been so right... AND SO HILARIOUSLY WRONG.

Your son's fits of laughter never stopped making you laugh along, even if it all came from his constant squirming and splashing. It didn't matter to you. Never had honestly. You were just so relieved he was safe and somewhere he could grow and learn and remain safe. Months of traveling to Little Palace constantly changing your names and appearances best you could, hiding from busier borders and towns, avoiding strangers and stealing-- your son's wet hands started patting your cheeks seeing your distraction. Lifting your hands to his you smiled sweetly at his warbled concern,

"Mama where go?" His large eyes were so much like his uncle's and the thought broke your heart and made it hum. Your brother had certainly been killed by the time you reached Little Palace, your father too most likely. Brushing the thin wisps of damp hair from your son's forehead you shook your head subtly.

"No where, my love," you promised him kissing his head as started playing once more. The water remained warm thanks to your son's unique ability and the more he laughed and played, the more golden his pale skin seemed to become. Sitting back from the large tub you let him play aware of a tall unmoving figure just behind you in the doorway. Observing quietly as he always did. You were getting used to that too, his hovering, but it came slowly. "Something you need, General?"

Aleksander blinked when you addressed him; voice thick and warm honey but he still heard that sadness underneath. That inescapable exhaustion that came from over worrying. Figuring he was caught and so there wasn't much use staying put, Aleksander slowly stepped into the wash room still watching the young boy play. The Grisha General frowned curiously, "Is he drowning the lambs?" You smiled amused but didn't reply right away. The boy continued playing somewhere possessed by his game seeming blissfully unaware Aleksander had even joined them. How wonderful, he thought, to be able to shut out the world.

"They're goats, I think," you informed him biting your lip as the man feigned a look of realization. He looked years younger when he wasn't paying his expressions any mind. Allowed his eyes and face to openly express what you were learning he spent most of his time hiding. Controlling. Carefully crafting to the moment and his needs.

"Oh my apologies to the goats--"

"Oh no, he's actually not at all fond of the beasts," you interjected with dramatic harshness, "Devils, really." Aleksander squinted at you suspiciously but the smile was getting harder and harder for him to keep at bay. Your airy little giggle made his heart clench painfully. Something he hadn't felt for far too long. A warmth and comfort sinking into him every time he fell under your smile. Swallowing thickly, he tore his eyes from you with a subtle throat clearing,

"Right of course. Beastly creatures... goats..." Aleksander deadpanned frowning uncertainly at the toddler purposefully holding his goat-shaped toys under the water with the utmost look of concentration. It would have been frightening on any adult but the boy's pudgy cheeks and puckered lips made him ridiculously cute. Joining you at the bath side, the Darkling propped his arms on his spread knees thoughtfully. Although he normally would always be straight-backed and as tall as possible, he found he liked being a bit more comfortable around you. Not wanting to intimidate you or seem overpowering. After all, he knew what you had gone through, and lost, to bring your son to him. "Was his father a goat?" Aleksander teased dryly only breathing when he heard your snorted laughter. As vulgar and crude a joke as it may have been to anyone else you had a wonderful sense of humor and he was learning quickly how much he loved hearing you laugh. Especially when he said something "crass." Eyes alight with your amusement you were quick to smart back,

"No-- an ass." It was Aleksander who choked on a loud laugh that time, nose scrunching as he bit back his grin. You wouldn't ever say things about your son's father in front of your boy but that man had never been interested in either of you.. not until it became known that the little boy with silvery hair and his uncle's bright eyes was actually the Sun Summoner. A mythical Saint before he was old enough to walk.. that caught the attention of all the wrong people including That Man. Aleksander noticed your eyes drift and the light dim in them for a moment but he wasn't sure what to say at first.

"You told me he hadn't been tested," he decided to redirect and you nodded thankful, "he's too young even now. I don't think anyone would have thought to even suggest it.. how did you know?" His dark eyes looked back to you but you were smiling at your son. He was singing then. A little lullaby hid grandfather always rumbled to your belly as well as you and your brother. You could almost hear your father's voice under the little one's. Distractedly, as you thought about Aleksander's question, your hand fell to your flatter stomach even though it was empty and no longer needing protecting.

"I think I always knew," you explained vaguely; considering your words carefully, "I was always warm. Sometimes too warm," you giggled fondly, "I would sleep in the snow some nights just for relief." Aleksander smiled understanding. He never had a child but it made sense to him that any baby able to call on the sun would tend to run a bit warmer than most. He kept watching you, though, captivated by the way you were glowing. The way you were lighting up with a life and glow all your own. No Summoning needed. The way you talked about the little boy had Aleksander's expression softening. Something close to awe and mixed with a sort of jealousy. Of you or your son he wasn't sure. Baghra had never spoke of him with such pride and love. Actually, he often felt like his mother avoided talking about him as much as she did to him. Many of his Grisha were the same. Lost family or were abandoned by them and here you were; risking life and limb for your son-- and it wasn't just you but your family. Your father and brother had stayed behind giving you the time needed to escape. What a love like that must feel like...

"General?" your voice caught him so off guard he wasn't able to stop himself,

"Ale--." Your eyes caught his and his breath caught a moment. How beautiful you looked in that moment. Gaze soft but curious; glossed lightly with concern hearing the apprehension he foolishly thought he could conceal from you. He was lost in you and he had known so the moment he met you-- small as you were shielding your son from four powerful Grisha daring to threaten them if Aleksander did not meet with you. You with your tiny bread knife ready to take the whole of Little Palace to war if needed. That devotion. That unyielding love and shameless need to protect yours? Aleksander had always wanted that. No. He had always wanted to share that. With someone. Someone special. ".. I'd like you to have my name. My-- My real name.. not the one I gave myself." Your brows pinched in slight confusion but he knew you understood the weight of this moment. Knowing something so intimate had your heart hammering in its cage. Stomach fluttering pleasantly as he gave an almost nervous smile. Youthful. Hopeful. Nodding softly and gently taking his hand, you gave the man a smile hearing the stutter in his breath the moment you touched him. A shudder seemed to wrack through him but he caught himself quickly. "My name--," he laughed bashfully looking away. Why did it feel like a proposal? He had said his name before. Baghra scolded him with it just that morning! Sensing his hesitation, you gave his hand a squeeze.

"You can share it if you like," she offered softly, "or keep it safe with you a bit longer. But-- I would carry any name or weight you ask of me. I owe you so much more and-- I want to offer you what I can. I can't really fight," you teased and Aleksander smiled boyishly now able to look at you again, "at least not with guns or swords or-- Shadows," his smile widened and warmed his cheeks to a rosy pink, "but I will fight the way I know how. Behind the scenes.. here," you looked to your place at his side and then to your son now staring at you two with just his eyes over the edge of the tub. Large and in wonder making Aleksander and you both chuckle at the way he thought he was hiding.

"At my side, then?" Aleksander cautioned glancing to your joined hands thoughtfully as you hummed affirmatively. He didn't hesitate again and looked to you waiting for your gazes to meet before he breathed his name, "Aleksander. My name is Aleksander." Your smile would follow Aleksander into every dream and thought he would ever have from that moment until his last and his entire being seemed to quake as you reverently repeated,

"Aleksander." Suddenly the room lit up in a shimmering, swirling glow of golds and blues and iridescent whites as the little boy in the bathtub grinned over the edge. His eyes shone the same brilliant shades as the light he gave off. His joy and happiness with the whole exchange evident as he giggled cheekily. Like he knew something neither adult did. You shook your head at your son as he gave you that impish little grin wiggling further into his bubbles. Turning to Aleksander you caught him staring at you with the warmest brown eyes you had ever seen. No longer pools of bottomless black and unreadable. You smiled at him hand warm and confident as you cradled his in your lap. Without hesitating and your eyes locked with his, you lifted the Darkling's knuckles to your soft lips and kissed them lovingly. Aleksander's heart stopped.

Saints help him.

[sayumiht]

Tell me it's you...

Pairing: young!Aleksander "Eric" Morozova/Darkling x fem!heartrender! reader Summary: The legendary Darkling saves your life from the Drüskells. You tell your friend Eric about this, but he advises you against seeking the Shadow Summoner. You don't listen to him. And you find him closer than you dared to think he was. Now you beg him to stay with you. Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~Main Masterlist Oneshot inspired by: "Tell me it's you" from Mufasa... yeah, I just couldn't leave that song. I never thought The Lion King would inspire me to write a oneshot for Darkling... Hope you enjoy it! Taglist: @aoi-targaryen @chelseyyouraverageluigi @watersquirtpewpewboomm @summersummoner-pat

"It was... like something out of an adventure novel. I'm telling you, Eric, I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. Suddenly, shadows appeared; I couldn't see practically anything, and then they cut Drüskells in half. I... I've never seen such power. In anyone. Ever." You tell your friend in shock, half-sitting, half-lying on his bed as he bustles around you, tending to your wounds.

"You may have imagined it. No one has seen the Darkling or any of his ancestors in centuries. Shadow Summoners are freaks of nature. The fact that they are virtually nonexistent shows that they shouldn't exist." The dark-haired man replies dismissively.

You grab his hand as he's about to apply gauze soaked in the medicinal plant dimension to your cut brow and give him an offended look.

"No, Eric, I know what I saw. Maybe not exactly; maybe I didn't really see him, but it was definitely a Shadow Summoner. As when the king's men were pursuing us and we were hidden from their view by a cloud of shadow. The fact that there are few of them proves how powerful they are. Not everyone is meant to wield such responsibility on their arms. To be a saviour." You say and let go of his hand.

"You speak too highly of him. He's probably a power-hungry maniac, a heretic, not some Grisha saviour."

"I know it's him. I'm sure of it. Just as I know it's him and only the Shadow Summoner who can stop this hunt for us. We have to find him. Maybe you don't feel it, but I do. Without him... without him we have no reason to even try to fight the Tsar, Fjerda, Shu Han, and Ravka for our freedom."

Eric sighs and shakes his head in disbelief at your stubbornness. But he doesn't have time to respond to you, because suddenly his mother enters their one-room, small cottage.

He pulls away from you and gives his mother a warning look. You only stop yourself from rolling your eyes at him because the older woman walks straight to you, ignoring her son.

"The whole village is gossiping that they saw my son bring you unconscious and bloody to our hut. What happened to you, little heartreder? Did you use your powers on yourself?"

She nods at the young healer in the doorway while examining you. And if you didn't know her better, you'd almost believe the older woman was actually worried about you. Luda steps to your side and uses her powers to heal you. You clench your teeth and look at your teacher, slightly offended.

"I was taking Marika home. We took a shorter path through the forest, and the Drüskells attacked us. She ran away and alarmed Eric, and I... somehow managed to scare them away." You lie to her about the last part, feeling your friend's burning gaze on you.

Earlier, you promised him that your... unusual encounter with the Shadow Summoner would stay between you. It wasn't safe to talk about them. Besides, you doubt the old woman would believe your story, however true it is.

You nod in thanks to Luda and try to ignore the burning feeling of jealousy as she sends one of her longing glances towards Eric. You quickly regain control, reminded of the watchful gaze of the older woman who was still present.

"I don't understand why that girl called my son, since he controls his powers like a baby controls urine." You're very proud of how you manage to keep from snorting in amusement at her ridiculous remark. Eric, on the other hand, seems to not appreciate at all his mother's teasing.

"I'm here, mother."

"And you should be in the village and working. I don't know what you want to feed yourself with, but now that winter is coming, it will be harder and harder. Stop hovering over that poor girl like a dog over a hedgehog and go find yourself some useful occupation. I'll look after her."

"But, mother..."

"Go, Eric. I'll see you later." You assure him with a warm, gentle smile.

He sighs and gives his mother one last, warning look and approaches the bed. He presses a kiss to your forehead, and after making sure your wounds have healed nicely, he leaves.

"What?" You ask her, blushing slightly with embarrassment as she stares at you.

"One day, he'll put me in my grave, and he'll regret it." She sighs and stands, her black hair interwoven with more frequent streaks of grey, and you see her hands shaking slightly as she hands you a cup of herbal tea.

Lately, you've started to notice that she... stopped looking so young. Before, you couldn't believe that Eric was her son, but now, it seems, time has started to catch up with her. And she's become impossibly more grumpy and stubborn.

"Will he?" You ask, raising an eyebrow teasingly and taking a sip.

"Don't let yourself get carried away, little brat. Just because you make him more bearable doesn't give you the right to mock me. You know perfectly well that this halfwit is head over heels in love with you. So for the sake of all of us, kill it before you break your hearts."

"I... we are just friends." You persist in refusing to admit your feelings to her. She looks at you for a long moment and sighs, nodding at you reproachfully.

"Believe the words of an old woman, Y/N. You... you deserve something more. Don't destroy your peace and life because of one pair of pretty eyes."

"We are not together." You repeat yourself, not even trying to explain to her how beautiful Eric's dark irises were. Worth any pain he could bring you—something you doubt would ever happen anyway.

He was too good to hurt you. Ever. However. He was... Eric. You could always count on his help and support; he always somehow managed to be there for you when you needed him the most. So how could you fight your growing feelings for him?

"I know. But I also know him and you. So trust me when I say, he is not good enough for you."

"Aren't you confusing your roles? Shouldn't you be saying this to Eric?" The woman frowns the moment you say her son's name.

She sighs and gets out of bed, arms folded, when she was staring at you—as if her cold, disapproving gaze would change the way your stupid heart sped up whenever he was around.

"Usually the voice of reason does not break through the deafening scream of foolish love. And this boy... he is a lost cause."

"Maybe I like lost causes?"

"Y/N... you are a smart girl. So for your own good, leave before it's too late." She gathers your things and offers you a hand to help you up.

You accept her unusual, gentle help and take your bundle from her. You absentmindedly stroke the charm on your bracelet—a small stone of your favourite gemstone that Eric gave you for your birthday—as you think about how to respond to her.

"I... I am not going anywhere. I promised him I won't leave him. He is my friend."

"Ehhh... stupid child." The woman shakes her head, irritated by our stubbornness, and leads you to the exit.

You are already on your way to the village when Baghra notices a familiar figure lurking in the recesses of the hut. Her mood darkens even further when she realises an extra, unwanted pair of ears has heard your conversation.

"Happy, Aleksander? Or should I call you Eric?" The woman huffs in exasperation and grabs her old journal from the table.

"You yourself said I should hold my real name away from anyone." Aleksander answers her with the same cold, emotionless tone she gives him and steps out of his shadows.

Only now does Baghra take a moment to look at him. He snorts when he sees the streak of blood carefully hidden beneath his cloak from your view. But not from hers.

"I should also mention your stupid heart then. She will die before you, you know that, right? No matter how much you love her or how hard you will try to protect her, she will grow old, and you will remain in the same shape as today."

"Unless I stop summoning."

"As if you could. I bet you've already done it today, right?" Aleksander turns his gaze away from her. He watches your retreating figure from the window, his heart clenching at the thought that one day he will no longer be able to be by your side or watch you from his shadows. "Let her live her life. She may be a powerful heartrender, but she is still not us, Aleksander. She won't live forever; she is not equal to us. Can you watch her slipping away from your fingers each day? Watch her die in your arms?"

He clenches his fists. Unconsciously, he lets his shadows break free and spread throughout the hut. Baghra sighs and approaches him. She places her hand hesitantly on his shoulder, forcing him to look her in the eyes.

"We overstayed here, Aleksander. I leave in a week. And if you really care about her, you will leave with me." Baghra looks at him for a long moment, then lets go of him. She heads for the exit and puts her hand on the doorknob but stops when she hears his voice.

"And what if I don't?"

Cold silence cuts through the air between them. Baghra looks at her son over her shoulder, and for a moment in his eyes, she sees the glow of her old self. A naive version that didn't yet know the true realities of this world, the curse hidden behind her powers. And since Aleksander wouldn't listen to her, to draw from her experience, all she could do was leave him to realise alone, in pain, that there were no others like them, that they were condemned to a life of solitude.

"Then prepare yourself for losing her anyway."

Aleksander clenches his fists as he is left alone in the hut. He lets his wonders flow out of him as he sinks into total darkness. And even the memory of your smile, something that always managed to fight his darkness, only makes the shadows grow thicker around him. Because as much as he hated his mother, he knew there was some truth in her words. You would eventually leave. And he would be all alone. Again. And even if he told you who he really was... it wasn't at all sure that you wouldn't turn away from him like everyone else before you did.

The truth was that you would cast him out. So he has to leave first... before you break his heart, that you didn't even know that belonged to you the moment he met you and got to know you.

He screams, letting his shadows in him exit through his mouth, swallowing the tears that roll down his cheeks.

"I've asked everywhere, and no one has noticed anyone new coming to the village. So it must be one of the locals or someone who arrived recently. But no one comes to mind, with... well, him. My investigation is at a standstill."

You grumble as you walk beside Eric through the forest path. Snow falls around you, causing a few small flakes to cling to his dark coat and hair. He looked adorable. Even with his red nose and the grimace that appeared on his face whenever you mentioned the Shadow Summoner in his presence.

"Maybe that's a good thing? Maybe he doesn't want to be found? Maybe he prefers to stay in his shadows, where he belongs."

"No, Eric, you... you didn't see what I saw, the power that flowed from him. He killed them all with a wave of his hand; it... it was incredible. If only he hadn't hidden, if only he had gathered us all and led us... maybe we would never have had to hide again, never have to make new homes, never have to worry about being discovered, about having to run away and start our lives over for fear of being tracked down and killed for who we are. You must feel the same way I do. Haven't you had enough? That every time you find a home, someone comes and takes it away just because we can do more than them? That we have power that they fear? Eric... I can't live like this. I'll find him. Even if it's the last thing I do, I have to convince him... there's no other way for us."

"That's a pipe dream, Y/N. Even if he gathers us all... forms an army... even among our own kind, there will be those who would seek to destroy him." He replies sceptically and stops to look at the frozen river. You sigh and shove your hands in your pockets, trying to warm yourself up a little.

"There will always be some. Is that why we have to keep hiding in our holes like rats? The Tsar will never change his mind about us if we don't act. We can't bury our heads in the sand, Eric. I'm not going to... I'm not going to let my children, if I have them, live in a world like that... to go through what we went through."

"Y/N..." He sighs and looks at you for the first time since you brought up the topic of the mysterious Shadow Summoner.

You frown as you see a glimpse of pain and concern in his eyes, wondering what could have caused him such a negative agitation. Before you can say anything back, suddenly an arrow flies near you and embeds itself in the ground not far away from you.

"Come with me." Eric takes your hand, not waiting for your reaction as he starts to drag you away.

He runs, pulling you in the opposite direction of where he heard the barking of dogs and the shouting of men. As you pass the arrow, you see the distinctive Fjerdan finish on it. You curse under your breath and speed up, running with Eric to one of the safe havens you and the other Grisha had set up in case the Drüskells 'witch hunt' resumes.

Unfortunately, you're running too slowly, or there are too many Fjerdans (you can't tell because Eric is pulling you along and setting your pace so fast that you can barely move your legs, let alone look back) to lose them. Your lungs are burning, and your heart is beating fast as you wade through the folds of snow.

You doubt that you'll be able to defend both yourself and Eric because you certainly won't leave him alone to these bloodthirsty men. Or that was the plan, before he pushed you into some Saint-knows-where hole big enough for one of you to hide.

"Stay here."

"No, Eric..." You hiss in desperation and grab his sleeve, realising he'll die if he goes alone.

"Stay here, Y/N. I will be fine. I promise. Just stay right here and wait for me." He cups your cheek in his hand and presses his lips to your forehead as you sob quietly into your hand, holding him tight by his sleeve, not wanting to let go. "Hush. I'll be back. I promise. Just stay here and be quiet."

Despite your efforts, he somehow manages to wiggle out of your grip. As he asked, you press your hand to your mouth and stop all the cries and sounds from escaping your throat. You close your eyes and focus on your surroundings, trying to feel the beating of hearts around you.

You shiver as the ground above you shakes with the force of the Drüskells that are chasing Eric. You try to help him in any way you can, slowing some of their heartbeats, tiring them out more, even managing to stop a few of them altogether—something you could never do in your lessons with Baghra. But it's still not enough; you still feel like there are so many more of them than Eric can handle alone.

So you do probably the stupidest thing, but the only right thing you can do in this situation. You come out of your hiding place and run in the direction Eric ran.

When you reach the clearing, the first thing you notice is him, standing surrounded by Fjerdarns. You see his eyes widen when he sees you, too surprised and frightened to notice one of the Drüskells sneaking up on him.

"Eric!" You scream and lunge at him, your hands moving in a practiced motion, manipulating the blood flow of the Fjerdan who wanted to attack him.

But you walk into the trap yourself, and before you can blink, one of them shoots you with an arrow. You scream in bewilderment and grab your arm, trying to staunch the blood while controlling as many of the Fjerdan soldiers as you can, trying to keep yourself and Eric alive for as long as you can.

And then, shadows spread across the clearing. You close your eyes and sigh with relief as their familiar coldness takes hold of you. Men scream in terror, hunting dogs growl around, but after a moment, everything falls silent. All you hear are two heartbeats: yours, calm and sluggish after losing blood from the wound you inflicted with the shot, and Eric's, quick and sudden.

Before you know it, you begin to sink to your knees, both physically exhausted from running and using your power and emotionally exhausted from almost seeing your deaths.

"It's okay. It's okay. You are safe. I got you." Eric whispers, stroking your hair tenderly as he catches you at the last second. And then something inside you suddenly snaps.

Suddenly, you remember the exact moment your mysterious Shadow Summoner saved you all those weeks ago, and as it turns out, he did it again. Eric could summon shadows. He used them to save you for a second time. He... he was the Shadow Summoner. And with that revelation, you faint in his arms.

When you wake up, it's not by Eric's side like in all those romantic novels you like to read before going to bed—your passion that Eric laughs at you for. No. You wake all alone in some makeshift bed. Or rather, you wish you would wake up alone, because the first person you see is…

"Baghra? Am I in hell?"

"You were close enough." The woman grumbles, pressing a cloth to your shoulder. You hiss as you feel the herbs burn your healer-sealed skin. "My stupid son got it into his empty head because of your little accident that the Drüskelle came here for him. So he left. To give himself to them."

"What?! And you let him?!" I ask angrily and throw the blanket off me. I reach for my coat and quickly button it, searching the small room for my shoes.

"You know him. What was I supposed to do? Only two things can stop this stubborn moose: you and his death."

You sigh angrily at her and quickly tie your shoes. You hiss when your haste and carelessness slightly strain your injured arm. But the pain you feel is only an annoying distraction in the face of fear for Eric's life.

"He left a few hours ago. To the north. If you concentrate hard, you'll be able to feel his heartbeat." Baghra advises you as you take a pair of daggers from her. "Y/N." The woman grabs your elbow and forces you to look at her before you leave in a hurry. "Bring him back in one piece. And yourself too. Saints knows what that imbecile will do if anything happens to you again."

All you can do is nod at her as you leave one of the rooms in your hideout. You push your way through other Grisha, trying to get out of the abandoned tomb you all have turned into a base and back to the surface as quickly as possible.

Your blood boils; everything boils as you think about what will happen if you don't get to him in time. You wonder where he even got that stupid idea of ���​turning himself in to the Fjerdans. It won't solve your problem. They'll still be after you, even more when they realise that they killed... that they killed HIM.

You run through the snow, following Eric's footsteps and praying to every known saint that you'll make it in time. You had so many things to tell him... so many important confessions that you were afraid of. You still are. You realise that... Eric didn't tell the whole truth about himself, but on the other hand, you know that in his situation you would proceed just as carefully and maybe even more.

He was the Shadow Summoner. He created something, creatures that could kill people with a wave of his hand. He was something completely different from you and the rest of the Grisha, something much more powerful. And you know perfectly well that they will only listen to him and follow him. If ever there is anything good for you, it will only be with his rule over you.

Luckily, Eric doesn't run far from you. A few hours later, you're able to feel his heartbeat in the distance, or at least you assume it's his. It's strange to admit to yourself that you know that delicate rhythm perfectly, that you've been listening to that song of his heart unconsciously all those nights you spent together by the fire, snuggled up together, supposedly seeking extra warmth, but in reality subconsciously craving the closeness of the other.

You loved him. Even before the Shadow Summoner thing came to light. And you know he cared about you, too. And you would do anything to keep him with you…to make him what you and the other Grisha needed.

You almost fall to your knees with relief when you finally find him. He stands by the frozen river, staring at it with a blank expression, his fists clenched, completely oblivious to his surroundings. In any other situation, you would have snuck up to him, thrown your arms around his shoulders, and berated him for his lack of attention, but now, all you can do is stare at him silently.

Seeing him makes you realise who he is, what he's capable of, and honestly, all those scary stories about the powerful Shadow Summoner don't fit the Eric you know at all.

But you knew that no matter who he really was… you would be there for him. With him.

"Tell me it's you." You say, pulling him out of his own thoughts. He turns to you slowly, staring at you as if he's seen a ghost, as if he can't believe his eyes that he's seeing you.

"Y/N, you should be resting in the hideout..."

"Tell me it's you. I... I know it's you." You interrupt him and take a few steps closer to him.

He frowns at you, pretending not to know what you're on about, but from the way his eyes widen for a second and his heart skips a beat, you know he knows exactly what you are up to.

"I am afraid that I have no idea what you are talking about. Did you hurt yourself in the head? Let me see."

"Don't make me look crazy, Eric. I know, it's you. I may be stupid enough to not realise it earlier, but I am not that stupid to not see it now. You were always there at every major disaster, saving the day, like you knew exactly where to be; you saw more than any of us... For God's sake, you never even summoned a single damn wind. Baghra lied that you had no control over your powers, that you practically had none, but you hid from all of us that you are... please don't hide from me anymore. Tell me it's you. The one we've been waiting for so damn long."

"I... you have no idea what you are talking about."

"Eric, please..." You reach out to take his hand in yours, but he moves away from you before your skin can touch for even the slightest moment. He breathes heavily, quickly, shocked to find that his best attempts to keep who he is a secret from everyone have been in vain.

"You don't know anything, Y/N! I am not even Eric; I... I don't know what I am. What you think I am... I am not. I am surely not anyone's saviour. Whatever you saw... you don't know what you have seen. I... forget about it." He mumbles, his eyes wandering on your figure as he decides what to do, what to say to make you change your mind, to make you doubt what you have seen.

You can see the internal struggle in him, as he wants to reach out for you, but at the same time, he is also keeping his distance from you. So seeing his conflict, the panic state he found himself in, all you want to do is soothe him.

"I see you." You interrupt him and cup his cheek in your hand, grounding him for a moment, making him forget everything else as he looks at you. The lump in his throat eases; he feels the tension in his body leave as you stroke his bearded cheek tenderly with your thumb. "I may not know your real name, or the amount of power and responsibility or pain you carry within you... but I know your soul. I know the man you are trying to hide behind your shadows... but I won't allow you. Not anymore."

He instinctively nuzzles his face into your hand. He closes his eyes, unable to bear your sympathetic gaze any longer. He knows he should do to you what he did to all those who came before you: push you away, make you believe he'll disappear forever, go along with his mother's plan, and let you think he died at the hands of the Fjerdans, but... he couldn't. Not with you. Not when you've become involuntarily an important part of his sour heart that's sought your light like grass hidden for months under snow.

He's been alone in the darkness of his shadows for too long. And if letting you in meant breaking him completely... then he thought a few years with you were worth every pain that resulted from the subsequent loneliness.

"Ever since you appeared, I've been running from something deep inside. And it's worse than I feared, because I look in your eyes, and I can't hide. I tried to push you away..."

"Don't push me away." You interrupt him and take a step closer to him.

"But the feelings come back, just twice as strong." He finishes his thought and wraps his hand around the wrist of your hand that’s still caressing his cheek, tangling his other hand in your hair and pulling you closer to him so he can press a kiss to the top of your head. "And I... I don't know what to say." He whispers shakily, closing his eyes and burying his nose in your hair, inhaling your scent like calming salts.

"You know just what to say." You respond in an equally uncertain, tearful tone, holding him tightly against you, not letting him move an inch away from you, not when you finally have him where you need him—pressed against you.

"I do not belong here. I do not belong anywhere. I never did. Every time I find a home, something happens to take that home away. You do not want such a stray like me."

"You are exactly where you should be. The way you feel when you're with me... Beside me... This is the most right… this feels the most right. Please, don't hide from me anymore." You say, slightly pulling away from him to look into his dark eyes.

He tightens his grip on your hair, his gaze on you burning, almost electric as he stares into your eyes as if they were the answer to all his questions and doubts.

You don't know what he finds in them, but they're convincing enough for him to lean slightly toward you, tightening his grip on your wrist and holding your hand against his cheek as if you'd even dared to think for a moment about letting go of him.

He brushes his nose against yours, a hot shiver running through you as you feel his breath on your lips, the beating of his heart speeding up madly, slowly becoming the only thing you can hear. You close your eyes, allowing yourself one quick breath before you lean down and connect your lips in a shy kiss.

He doesn't allow that insult. In an instant he's all over you, wrapping his hand around your waist and pressing you against him. He deepens the kiss, his full lips caressing yours with incredible gentleness and passion as you both moan softly, finally doing what your hearts have longed for for so long.

You start to lose your breath, but that's nothing when you finally feel his hands on you, the warmth of his body so close to you, the taste of his lips that turns out to be so much better than the best candy you sometimes bought at the market. It was addictive, magnetic, the most intoxicating first kiss you've ever experienced. And not because he was the Shadow Summoner, but simply because he was himself—your Eric.

Eventually, you have to pull away. Your lungs are burning, demanding your stolen heart, but they can't find their voice. Your heart is screaming with joy, pure excitement that quickly dies when you open your eyes and meet his worried gaze, the familiar frown of contemplation you've grown to hate over the past few weeks.

Whatever he wants to say dies on his lips as you silence him with another quick, needed kiss. You desperately think about what to say to him, how to convince him to stay with you, and you realise that you have only one good bargaining chip he could be truly interested in—yourself.

"Don't run away anymore. Don't run away from us... from me." You ask him, placing your hand on the side of his neck, moving away just a few millimetres—just so you can look at him properly, begging him not to leave.

"If you knew what I've been doing all these years… what crimes I've committed, what I've been a passive witness to… what I'm capable of… you'd curse me like they all before you did."

"You don't know that. You can't know. We've been waiting for you for so long, Eric…"

"Aleksander." He interrupts you, looking at you thoughtfully. His hand moves to gently cup your cheek as he traces the line of your lower lip with his thumb. "My name is Aleksander." He repeats in a whisper, causing a faint blush to form on your cheeks.

"Aleksander." You test his name on your tongue, and you know from the way his eyes soften and tears well up in them how deeply he is touched by the tenderness with which you say the name he has protected so much. His real name. "That suits you more. Please, Aleksander... Sasha... don't run away this time."

"I..." He’s speechless at the endearing nickname you gave him. All he can do is bury his nose in your hair and pull you closer to him, engulfing you in a desperate embrace as if you’re the one who’s about to run away.

And from the way he strokes your back, the way he breathes in your scent, you know he won't leave you. You've found the Shadow Summoner. Now all you had to do was stay by his side and help him unite Grisha. And while you were at it… you could take advantage of the special care he'd bestowed upon you. For as long as fate would allow.

Thanks for reading this! I hope you enjoyed it. I really appreciate any comments and kudos/hearts if you want to take your time to share your thoughts about this one. Have a nice day/night!! 😊🖤🖤🩵🖤🖤

[sayumiht]

Oh, his heart! Oh, my heart! Oh, all our hearts!

based on a true story!

[sayumiht]

"Remember me" - Chapter 8 - Kakashi Hatake x F!Reader

Pairing : Kakashi Hatake x Female!Reader !This chapter contains slight NSFW content!

If you want to read Yamato's version, you can find it here.

Warnings : Memory loss, mind control (mk ultra inspired), violence, fluff and slight NSFW content in the end (sorry i'm not good at writing that kind of stuff)

Inspiration : Where did she go - Saleka

Words : ~ 4200

A/N : Hello there ! Here's a new chapter! I hope you will enjoy it. I don't know if I'll do more chapters or just a sort of epilogue yet. And sorry for the mistakes, I'm not a native english speaker. Thank you again for the likes, reblogs and comments ♡

← Previous Chapter - Epilogue ? → Masterlist

The rain poured relentlessly as the Copy Ninja finally approached the area his ninken had described. He had done his best to remain discreet, masking his presence to ensure you were truly alone and this wasn’t a trap.

The area seemed devoid of any other presence besides yours, and he braced himself mentally for what lay ahead. Kakashi had already spent countless hours bedridden, reflecting on what he needed to do and how to approach the situation.

Your predicament left him with few options, and he could only hope he could pull you out of this twisted scheme before it claimed one of your lives. Fear lingered in his heart, but he would not back down from what awaited him.

No matter what happened, he would not abandon you. The regret of not cherishing the time he had with you when he could still haunted him. He regretted not stopping you before you left on that fateful mission. But he couldn’t turn back time; nothing could change the past. All he had now was this desperate attempt to bring back the woman he had always loved—the woman who had loved him too, but whom he had pushed away.

Perhaps one only realizes the value of something when it teeters on the brink, fragile and nearly out of reach. Perhaps fate had dealt Kakashi this cruel hand to teach him that he couldn’t keep running—not from you, not from the cries of his own heart.

The rain reminded him of that first day you had trained together, but the context was starkly different now.

As he edged closer, he finally spotted a silhouette perched on a distant rock. Dressed in black, you sat facing away from him. The aura radiating from you was familiar, yet he felt as though you were shrouded in an even deeper darkness. Knowing you were so close, yet so far, tore at him. He had to stay calm and focused if he was to bring you back.

Kakashi moved carefully, stopping a few steps away. He sighed—a sound you caught instantly, though you had already sensed his presence some time ago.

Your head tilted slightly in his direction, still hidden behind the mask he so desperately wanted to remove. “Where is Naruto?” you demanded, your voice distorted and unrecognizable. “I’m your opponent,” he replied, his tone a mix of unwavering resolve and sadness.

Standing up, you leapt down from the rock and stopped a few meters away from him. After a few moments of stillness, you spoke again. “It’s the Jinchūriki I’m waiting for. Not you.” “You’ll have to go through me first,” he said.

A soft, chilling laugh escaped your mask—a sound so devoid of warmth that it sent shivers through the Copy Ninja. It was nothing like the laughter he once knew. There was only hatred and anger, a far cry from the person you used to be. “Eager to die, are you?”

He didn’t respond, taking his stance instead. His gaze held a mix of emotions, but his posture remained steady. “Let me grant you the death you came for,” you murmured, your words barely audible.

Kakashi focused, preparing for your first move. You lunged at him, starting with hand-to-hand combat. He blocked your strikes with relative ease. Even under the influence of whatever controlled you, your techniques were the same. You even seemed to follow the same patterns from your training sessions, allowing him to predict your moves without relying on his Sharingan just yet.

“I know you can do better than this,” he said at last, as if this were a friendly sparring match. As if nothing had changed. As if he still held onto the faint hope that his words or actions might bring you back.

You stopped abruptly, stepping back to channel chakra into various parts of your body, increasing your speed and the power of your attacks. Reaching under your cloak, you drew a blade—a weapon Kakashi would have recognized anywhere.

Your wakizashi.

The last time he had seen you wield it was during your time together in the ANBU Black Ops. The last time it hung at your side was before you left for that mission, the one you didn’t return from for years. Whoever was behind this had planned more than just brainwashing you—they had conditioned and prepared you, even keeping your personal belongings to use them against you and those you cared for. First the kunai with its charm, and now this. Kakashi felt as though he were being struck with silent, calculated blows, each one more painful than the last. Yet he forced himself to remain composed, showing no weakness.

“The last time you used that… it feels like a lifetime ago,” he said softly.

“Fight me,” you growled, “and stop talking as if we know each other, Copy Ninja.” Chakra surged into your blade, making it glow faintly. “If only you could remember me, this would all be so much easier.” “You’re not speaking to that person, Hatake. You’re wasting your breath.”

Kakashi hesitated, weighing his words as though searching for the key to free you. “I know this isn’t truly you. Somewhere in there, you’re still you…” His voice carried a sadness that failed to reach you in your current state. “I’m coming to get you, [Y/N]. Hold on.”

For a fleeting moment, something shifted in your aura. It was as if his words had reached the part of you buried deep inside, breaking through whatever held you captive. A glimmer of hope flashed across his face.

But the change was brief. Your energy turned dark once more, and a sinister laugh echoed from your mask. It would take more than words to pull you from this abyss. “If you think you can save me, you’re a fool. There’s nothing left to save. Nothing left to fight for. Accept it.”

This time, you attacked with blinding speed. Kakashi barely managed to block your strike with a kunai before you vanished again, pressing your relentless assault. When you finally paused, standing some distance away, Kakashi lifted his headband, revealing his Sharingan. If your speed increased any further, he wouldn’t be able to keep up without it.

He launched his counterattack, mirroring your movements for an instant. A growl escaped your mask as frustration began to seep into your strikes. The fight was dragging on longer than you wanted, and his refusal to use his full power irritated you. If he was stalling, it could only mean trouble for you.

Kakashi, on the other hand, was trying to buy time, though the thought of resorting to more drastic measures weighed heavily on him. He couldn’t bear the idea of crossing the point of no return—not with you. “Enough playing around, Hatake,” you said sharply, your tone slicing through the air as he furrowed his brow. He braced himself, knowing you were about to unleash a stronger technique. He barely had time to blink before you were behind him, your blade striking in a swift arc. He stumbled back just in time, his green vest slashed open down the front. Thankfully, the blade hadn’t touched his skin. Taking a deep breath, he realized this would demand more of him than he’d anticipated—perhaps even techniques he had vowed not to use against you until now. He might not have a choice for much longer.

Shrugging off the tattered vest, he let it fall to the ground and readied himself for combat again, kunai in hand. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he said firmly. “But if it’s the only way to bring you back to your senses…”

As you prepared for another strike, a sudden burst of force hurled you backward, and you struggled to steady yourself. His speed and strength had surged; he was no longer holding back. Rising to your feet, you scanned the area, searching for him. Before you could act, you found yourself pinned to the ground. The grey-haired ninja loomed over you, his expression a mix of emotions you couldn’t decipher.

His forearm pressed against your torso, while one of his legs trapped yours in place. The close proximity caused a flicker of hesitation in your eyes, one he noticed immediately. He wouldn’t waste the opportunity. “I know you’re still in there,” he said, his voice low but urgent. “Fight it. You can do this.”

Anger surging again, you drove your knee into him, reversing the position. He grunted as you now sat over him, glaring down. “You just won’t shut up, will you? Looks like I’ll have to help you with that,” you spat.

His face remained steady—neither perturbed nor frightened. Your blade had fallen to the side earlier, and now you drew a kunai from your vest, pressing it against his throat. A glimmer of recognition flashed in his eyes as he glanced briefly at the small charm dangling from your wrist. He seized the moment to speak again. “Whatever it takes, I’ll bring back the person you’ve always been. I won’t lose you again.”

For a fleeting moment, the dark, raging aura around you faltered, revealing someone fragile, someone lost. Your hand trembled, and Kakashi’s eyes lit with hope. You were there. You could hear him. The shell around you was beginning to crack, and he just needed to keep breaking it apart to free you.

With a sudden shove, you toppled sideways, giving him the chance to rise. “Fate brought us back together. I believe it’s for a reason. This isn’t where it ends,” he said resolutely.

Clutching your weapon tightly, you launched forward simultaneously, kunai clashing in a fierce meeting of wills. Your faces were mere inches apart, the screech of metal grinding against metal cutting through the rain, which had started to slow to a gentle drizzle.

Breaking the stalemate, you retreated, summoning two clones. Kakashi exhaled, closing his eyes for a brief moment. His left hand moved to grip his right arm, and you saw chakra gathering in his palm. The energy quickly formed into crackling blue lightning. He opened his eyes and glanced at you. It was clear—he needed to eliminate your clones.

In a flash, your clones vanished, leaving three separate attacks converging on him—one from the front, one from behind, and one from above. His Raikiri swept out in a precise arc, dispelling the illusions and grazing your mask.

You stepped back, but not quickly enough to stop the mask from shattering completely and falling to the ground. Kakashi’s gaze locked onto your face for the first time, his attack carefully restrained to avoid causing true harm. Blood trickled from your nose, and you instinctively touched it, staring at the crimson staining your fingers. Your eyes betrayed a mix of fear and pain, though your expression remained locked in anger.

“Now that the mask is gone…” Kakashi began. “Shut up!” you snapped. “Come back to me,” he whispered, more a plea than a command.

Your hand flew to your head, gripping it tightly as you winced. He could feel the war waging within you, your presence flickering between the person he knew and the dark force clouding you.

It was happening.

Your grip on the kunai trembled, and slowly, you began to lift it. Kakashi froze as he saw the blade’s tip shift away from him—and toward you. Without hesitation, he acted, knocking the kunai aside and catching you as your body collapsed. His hand cupped your cheek, turning your face toward him. Your eyes fluttered open after a moment, and you saw him clearly. He looked exhausted, his worry etched across every line of his face.

To you, the battle had felt like mere minutes, but to Kakashi, it had been hours—a fight that seemed endless. Now, the fatigue in your limbs was undeniable.

He noticed the change in your eyes immediately. The anger, the hatred, the storm that had consumed you—they were gone. What remained was the gentleness he remembered, alongside sadness and confusion.

“You’re back,” he murmured, disbelief lacing his voice.

After a pause, you reached out, wrapping your arms around his neck and holding him as if your life depended on it. One hand tangled in his grey hair, the other clutching his back. Despite your exhaustion, the need to feel his presence was overwhelming.

Kakashi, startled, slowly returned the embrace, his hands resting around you. His hardened features softened completely, the simple act of holding you melting away every burden.

“I’m so sorry, Kakashi,” you whispered, tears slipping down your face.

The rawness of your voice struck him deeply. Each word carried the weight of your regret, not just for the fight but for so much more.

“I’m sorry for everything. For leaving. For hiding my departure. I should have stayed in Konoha—with you, with Naruto.”

His body stiffened slightly. You remembered?

He pulled back just enough to study your face, his hand gently resting against your cheek. His heart raced, beating in sync with the tumult in his mind. “You… You remember everything? You remember me?”

Placing your hands on his face, you leaned forward, pressing your forehead to his. He froze, overwhelmed by the intimacy and the truth of your words. “I remember you. I remember Naruto. I remember everything, Kakashi.”

His gaze searched yours, his mind reeling. Relief, joy, and disbelief collided, leaving him momentarily speechless. His mask hid the faint smile spreading across his face, but his eyes glimmered with unspoken emotions. For now, he chose silence, savoring this fragile moment.

When you finally spoke, your voice was steady, though soft. “Please, Kakashi… take me home.”

His eyes opened, meeting yours once more. Gently, he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “We should stop by Tsunade’s to—” “No, Kakashi,” you interrupted. “Please. Just take me home. I want to stay with you. Please.”

The raw vulnerability in your plea left him no choice. Despite his exhaustion and injuries, he nodded, his voice tender. “Then let’s go home.”

________________________________________

The return journey had been equally filled with a pleasant silence, as you both simply enjoyed each other's company. Not a single word had been spoken until you crossed the threshold of your apartment. Returning to this place, which had always been your home, felt strange: as though you had never left, and yet, as though you hadn’t set foot here for centuries.

The silver-haired ninja had not stopped watching you since you had left together. He couldn’t shake the thought that he should never have let you leave without saying anything. Perhaps, he thought, he should never have let you leave at all. He had missed you terribly, and both his heart and his reason screamed at him now, begging him to never let you stray away from him again. He didn’t know whether he should thank fate for bringing you back to him or curse it for taking you away in the first place. But deep down, he understood: had everything remained as it was, he might never have truly broken his own barriers, and he might have lost you in a different way altogether.

The calm persisted as you both treated your wounds, showered, and changed into fresh clothes before lying side by side on the bed. Each of you was lost in your own thoughts, yet both savoring the other’s presence. The quiet peace you felt within yourself was something so unfamiliar, it left you unsettled. It was as though you hadn’t felt this way in so long, you had almost forgotten what it was like.

There was so much you both wanted to say, so many words waiting to be spoken, that the silence reflected the overwhelming difficulty of knowing where to even begin. This wasn’t something that could be reduced to a few words or simple phrases.

You wanted to tell him how much you had missed him, how much he meant to you, how vital he was in your life, and how you could never thank him enough for helping you climb out of that nightmare. You wanted him to know that even when your memory had failed you, you never stopped carrying him in your heart. He was here now, right next to you, and you could hardly believe it.

You were the first to break the silence, getting up and walking over to your desk. Kakashi sat up and watched you, his heart once again pounding as though it might burst from his chest. His eyes carried an unmistakable mix of tenderness, joy, and anticipation.

Slowly, you opened one of the drawers and pulled out a wrapped gift. Your expression was soft, and a faint smile tugged at the corner of your lips. Holding the package in your hands for a few moments, you stared at it and closed your eyes. You had set it aside long before your departure, intending to give it to him upon your return, but things hadn’t gone as planned.

“I think this is for you… though it’s a little late,” you said, opening your eyes again.

Walking back to him, you sat beside him and held the gift out.

His gaze shifted between you and the package, silent, before he delicately took it from your hands.

Just from the shape and weight, the Copy Ninja already knew exactly what it was. He began unwrapping the paper slowly, revealing, bit by bit, a pristine copy of an Icha Icha volume that had been damaged during your last training session before you left.

Though he had joked about it at the time—more as a playful jab than a genuine request to replace it—Kakashi had kept the damaged volume. It had become one of his most cherished possessions, a memento of you, of your clumsy charm, and of the many times you teased him about his choice of reading material. He had reread it often, kept it close, as if it tethered him to you, as though it made you feel less far away.

As he finished unwrapping the gift, Kakashi finally spoke.

“You know… that ruined copy ? It became my favorite. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

You looked at him, surprised, as he placed the book on the edge of your desk and turned his gaze to meet yours. There was something different in his eyes now. Something had shifted.

The restraint, the fear, and the hesitation you had sensed before your departure were gone.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to realize… to understand how badly I messed up before you left,” he said softly.

You didn’t move, your eyes locked on his with the same intensity. Slowly, he lowered the mask covering his face and leaned closer to you. His face was mere inches from yours, and you could feel his breath against your skin.

“Let me make it right,” he whispered.

Seeing that you didn’t pull away, he closed the gap, pressing his lips gently to yours. At first, you were startled, unable to react immediately. But then you closed your eyes, leaning into the kiss, your hands finding their way to his cheeks.

His hands rested lightly on your waist as he shifted slightly back on the bed, drawing you carefully onto his lap. Now seated astride him, your arms wrapped instinctively around his neck. The kiss was tender yet filled with all the unspoken emotions that had lingered between you for so long. Beneath it, you could feel the faint trace of restraint, still holding back.

When the kiss broke, you studied his face, taking in every detail you had only seen on rare occasions. Your heart raced, butterflies filling your stomach, but none of it mattered. Nothing mattered, except that he was here, holding you, just as you had imagined and hoped for.

“Am I dreaming, Kakashi?” you murmured, your voice almost a whisper.

Your heart was pounding, and you questioned whether this moment, these feelings, were truly real.

“If this is a dream,” he said softly, his voice laced with warmth, “then I never want to wake up. I want to stay here—with you.”

The tenderness in his words startled you, and with that one sentence, you could feel just how deeply he cared for you.

“Kakashi…”

“I… I love you, [Y/N],” he said, his voice unsteady. “I should have told you before you left. I should have shown you—”

You silenced him with another kiss, tears welling in your eyes as he returned it, holding you closer, as though afraid to let you go.

Your fingers slipped into his hair, and slowly, something began to shift between you. The hesitation dissolved, replaced by a longing that had been hidden for far too long. Every touch, every movement, was a declaration of how much you needed each other, of the fear of being apart again.

Finally, Kakashi eased you back onto the bed, positioning himself above you as he kissed you once more.

“I won’t lose you again,” he whispered.

On those words, you kissed him with more fervor than before, your hands resting on his chest, still covered by a t-shirt. He let out a soft groan as your fingers began tracing along him, and one of his hands slid under your shirt. Hesitating just briefly to see if you’d stop him, he continued when you leaned further into him. The sensation of his fingers brushing your skin sent shivers through you.

Everything was new, yet everything felt natural, as though this was exactly how it was meant to happen, as though nothing could ever stand in the way of what was destined for you both. Every word, every touch, and every sound exchanged between you felt effortless, an innate harmony that no outside force could disrupt—a moment long overdue.

Kakashi’s hands wandered further now, each sound that escaped your lips pushing him closer to the edge. When your fingers gripped the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, he realized this was it—the moment he had waited for, the final confirmation he needed to lower his last remaining walls.

It was his turn to gently undress you, taking his time to explore every inch of your skin, as though you were a treasure he yearned to fully understand. His fingers traced each scar, every contour, while his lips left tender kisses along your body. His gaze constantly returned to your face, eager to savor your expressions and meet your eyes.

“Kakashi...” He kissed you again, his hand trailing lower until a gasp—half surprise, half pleasure—escaped your lips mid-kiss. “If you want me to stop, just say the word—” “No... No, Kakashi, I want to be close to you.”

His eyes locked on yours for a few still moments, his movements never faltering. You closed your eyes briefly, your head tilting back in response to the sensations overwhelming you. His free hand cupped your cheek gently, stroking it with his thumb. Your own hands found their way around his neck, clinging to him as your emotions and these new sensations left you utterly breathless.

The hours that followed were filled with passion, and Kakashi had to admit one thing: while Icha Icha might have been an entertaining read, it was incomparable to what the two of you had just shared. The world around you had faded entirely as you showed each other just how deeply you cared, how much you meant to one another. There were no more hesitations, no unspoken words, and no lingering doubts about your feelings or future together.

Your head rested against his chest near his shoulder, his face partially buried in your hair as he breathed in your scent, his eyes closed. Your hand lay lightly on his neck, your thumb gently brushing over his skin.

He let out a soft hum of contentment before opening his eyes and tightening his arms around your waist. “Still convinced this is a dream?”

A quiet laugh slipped from you as you snuggled closer to him. “It may not be a dream, but it still feels like one.” “Then I guess you’ll be feeling that way often from now on.”

At his words, a blush warmed your cheeks. “I mean—Hmm, the fact that—” “I know.”

A brief silence passed before Kakashi shifted slightly to hover over you, his hand threading through your hair as his gaze bore into yours. He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. “I won’t repeat the same mistakes. I promise, from now on... things will be different.” “Kakashi, please stop blaming yourself. Everything’s okay now.”

For a moment, he remained quiet, his expression contemplative as you cupped his face, pulling him into a tender kiss. “I love you, Kakashi.”

A rare, genuine smile graced his lips as he wrapped you tightly in his arms, kissing the side of your neck. “Maybe... maybe things were meant to happen this way, after all.”

♡ Tag List : @strflp @sayumiht @yoozuku @je4nc4tb0y

[sayumiht]

ONE. love like yours - kakashi hatake

this chapter will contain graphic depictions of death, which may be unsuitable for some readers. 

༻ ∘ ❀ ∘ ༺

Blood. 

There was so much blood. It was all over her hands, dripping from her fingertips like rain from a leaf. She could barely see, eyes clouded over with a fuzziness that left her disoriented. It didn't help that there was a ringing in her ear, and a dull, aching pain on the side of her head. Reaching up to press against the pain, she removed her trembling hand to find more blood. Oh, so that's where it was coming from. 

Her hair was tangled in the sticky red mess, and she was sure she was sure she could reach in and touch her skull if she really tried. Each second that passed made the ringing grow louder, her body grow colder. 

Where was she?

The floor was cold and damp, dark, like concrete. Except it wasn't concrete, but rock, she soon realized. Was she in a cave? How had she ended up here? Hadn't she just been out to get groceries for dinner? 

An echo sounded throughout the empty cave, acoustics bouncing off the walls, though she could barely make out what they were saying anyways. There were shadows, two, growing closer, accompanied by some sort of light, a torch or flashlight maybe. But it didn't matter, because in her hazy vision, she managed to somewhat examine the area. 

It was in fact a cave, solid with no holes or exits except for one tall ledge, too far from her reach and much too steep for her to climb. In her moment of clarity she caught a glimpse of the two faces that had approached. Had they come to save her? She needed to get back, her husband would be home soon, and she wanted to make him dinner. He forgot to eat quite often, and she wanted to make sure he was taken care of. 

Except, her husband was standing atop the ledge, holding a torch in his hands, burning brightly. What was he doing here? Why was he just standing there, looking down at her? Shouldn't he be trying to get her out? 

The other person reached into what seemed to be a satchel, pulling out a bottle and turning it down-right over the small pit where she resided. She barely had the consciousness to flinch when the liquid being poured had touched her skin. It smelled awful. 

In a moment where the light and shadows hit just right, she managed to make out the other person; her younger brother. He'd hated her husband, why was he with him right now? And, just what god-awful substance was he pouring on her?

Everything had become so unclear, the ringing gone, but replaced with silence, her vision so blurred she couldn't make out her own hands in front of her anymore. A numbness tingled in her legs, her arms so weak she could barely hold her own body up. Whatever had happened, she could move only her head, if she strained enough to lift it. It was a cruel fate. 

She hadn't caught on when her husband lowered the torch slowly to the ground, far from her. As the flames latched onto a path they had created with the liquid her brother had, the realization hit her far too late for her to do anything about it. Her body was in excruciating pain already, and her brain had detached her from feeling any of her current wounds. The flames spread quickly, leading down the steep rock and trickling closer on the ground before her. 

This would be her fate. Murdered, by her own brother and husband. What did they do it for? She hadn't spoken to her brother in years, after he was banished for his shameful use of the kekkai genkai her family inherited. And her husband, though he was cold, hadn't she been good to him?

Of course she had, even with her busy job as a shinobi. She cooked him three meals a day, cleaned for him, cared for him, supported him and his business. Hadn't he been good to her, too? 

He hadn't, she realized. He was a mean drunk, spewing hateful words, leaving empty beer bottles strewn across the house, not sparing her a glance as she left for the day to report for her duties. Hell, he'd barely spoken a word to her that wasn't to ask her for something or tell her he needed something in months. If she had come to this realization sooner, would a different fate have befallen her? 

Over the quiet roar of the fire, which she could barely hear as is, there was shouting, a commotion, and her brother and husband looked at each other, saying something. The flames licked at her skin as the shouting grew louder, the smoke billowing at the ceiling of the cave. 

Just as her killers were apprehended, left with no where to go as the flames encompassed her body, there was a flash of silver reflecting in the light, and then, she was gone. 

 ∘ ❀ ∘ 

What would you do, to live again? 

A smooth breeze raised the hairs on her arms, flushing through her hair and cooling the skin of her cheeks. What? Do you mean, she had died? 

If fate had allowed for it, what would you do differently in your life, who would you save?

Fate? Hadn't fate been so cruel to her already? Would the gods truly subject her to another untimely death, betrayed by the one closest to her, and her own blood? What explanation did she owe to fate, to this voice, about how she would choose to live, had she been given the chance? It was ridiculous, really. 

If you cannot change your fate, along with saving someone, anyone within your grasp, you will never see the day again; never hear the songbird sing, never feel the warmth of summer, and certainly never be loved. 

Love? What good was love? The one person she loved, who she devoted her life to, the one who had claimed to love her so dearly after pining after her for months, had taken part in her death. He had caused it, though not single handedly. Love was useless now, and if she was going to live again, she would enact her revenge on them. She would make sure they never had the chance to hurt her, she would become so powerful, they'd never stand a chance. 

And who will you save?

Save? There is no room for charity in this world. But she would do anything, even agree to save someone, if it meant getting her ultimate revenge. She would save someone, anyone, and then she would move on, making sure she didn't die of the same tragedy. 

Fate is deliberate, and unkind to those unwilling. Who, who will you chose?

If there was anyone she truly believed deserved to be saved, who deserved a chance at happiness, who she would go out of her way to take care of, it would be..

༻ ∘ ❀ ∘ ༺

[sayumiht]

Commision for @vfclayr based on this post from the @kkirincorrectquotes 🦝❤️ Comms are open! If you are interested, please DM me 💖

[sayumiht]

Yesssss more bakery KakSaku!

(more bakery silliness bc of fish)

Jealousy Proofed

Pairing: KakaSaku Rating: T

Summary:

His wrist bends as his palm applies steady pressure forward, stretching out the dough and folding it over itself, adding flour when it gets too sticky to work with. Sakura watches the dough receive the massage of its life and quietly seethes. She’s never been so jealous of an inanimate object.

Read on AO3!

[sayumiht]

my scenarios at night be like

breaking tradition with Kakashi Hatake

genre: soft romance | wedding fluff | gentle humour

You tugged at the stubborn sash, frustration bubbling as the delicate fabric twisted the wrong way for the third time.

“Why is this so complicated?” you muttered, yanking at the knot with little success.

A quiet tap echoed from the door.

“Can I come in?” Kakashi’s familiar voice slipped through the thin paper door.

“You’re not supposed to see me before the ceremony,” you shot back, still wrestling the attire.

A pause. Then—slide.

Kakashi stepped inside, his calm gaze immediately finding the tangle of fabric in your hands.

“I’m pretty sure that’s just a superstition,” he said, leaning casually against the frame.

You huffed, tugging at the knot harder. “It’s about tradition, Kakashi.”

He crossed the room in a few steps, brushing your hands aside with gentle confidence. “Here. Let me.”

Words formed on your tongue, but you swallowed them, letting his fingers work through the mess. His touch was deliberate, unhurried, until the sash finally fell into place.

“You’re overthinking it,” he murmured, smoothing the sleeves over your shoulders.

“I just… want everything to be perfect,” you admitted, your teeth grazed the inside of your cheek.

Kakashi’s eye softened, his head tilting slightly. “It already is. You’re marrying me, after all.”

You laughed, swatting at his arm. “A little full of yourself, aren’t you?”

He leaned in just a touch closer, his voice warm and low. “Confident.”

Heat prickled at your ears as his hand lingered at your waist.

“I should kick you out now,” you mumbled.

“Mm. Or…” His lips brushed against your temple through the mask, his breath soft against your skin. “You could let me stay a little longer.”

You shook your head but didn’t step away.

Maybe tradition could wait.

Kakashi’s heart thudded beneath his composed exterior.

For someone who lived most of his life in shadows, standing here felt unreal.

He something think he didn’t deserve this—not after everything. Yet here you were, flustered and radiant, fighting with wedding attire like it was an unruly enemy. You make sure this wasn’t the case.

His fingers stayed at your waist, adjusting the fabric with more care than necessary. If he was honest, he didn’t want to let go.

You shifted, brushing at the sleeve nervously. “You’re staring.”

Kakashi blinked, his hand still resting against you.

“I was just thinking…” His voice lowered as his hand trailed lightly down your arm. “You look beautiful. I’m not sure how I convinced you to marry me, but I’m not about to question it.”

Air snagged in your throat, eyes lifting to meet his. “Kakashi—”

He smirked beneath his mask. “What? I can’t compliment my bride?”

Your cheeks warmed as you tried to step away, but his grip tightened just enough to keep you there.

“I mean it,” he said softly. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me.”

You glanced away, the sincerity in his voice making it hard to hold his gaze.

“Stop that,” you mumbled. “I’m going to mess up my makeup.”

Kakashi chuckled, pressing his masked lips lightly to your temple. “I’ll fix it for you if you do.”

Flustered, you shoved him gently toward the door. “Go, or I really will kick you out.”

His touch stayed, leaving behind the faintest trace of his warmth.

Lucky doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Kakashi had faced S-ranked missions and rogue ninjas, but standing at the altar made his palms sweat beneath his gloves.

Calm down.

Across the courtyard, you stood calm and radiant, while he felt like the air had been knocked from his lungs.

How did I even get here?

The ceremony was simple—quaint, Kakashi had called it. Close friends, familiar faces, and a soft breeze that carried your vows through the quiet air.

The reception? A different story.

Naruto stood front and center, already halfway through an impromptu speech, cup raised high.

“Honestly, Kakashi-sensei, I didn’t think this day would ever come!” Naruto grinned, scratching his head. “I figured you’d just keep reading those weird books forever.”

The crowd chuckled, and you shot Kakashi a glance. His shoulders stiffened slightly, but his hand slipped over yours beneath the table—a silent plea for patience.

Naruto wasn’t done. “But, you know… I guess if anyone deserves someone like (Y/N), it’s you. You’ve been through a lot. And—uh—yeah.” He laughed awkwardly. “I’m not great at this, but I’m happy for you, Kakashi-sensei. Really.”

Kakashi exhaled, the corner of his eye crinkling in quiet gratitude.

Then Gai stood.

“AH, KAKASHI!” he bellowed, tears already streaming down his face as Lee patted him on the back. “My eternal rival has found love at last! We’ve waited for this day for so long!”

Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose. “Gai, please—”

“But to see you embrace the flames of love! Our rivalry will transcend into new heights—marriage challenges! Couples’ retreats!”

“Gai,” Kakashi groaned, though the hand beneath the table remained steady in yours.

The laughter didn’t end there.

Tsunade swirled the sake in her cup, her cheeks tinged pink.

“I always thought you’d marry your job,” she mused, smirking. “Turns out (Y/N)’s the only one stubborn enough to put up with you.”

The room erupted again, and Kakashi chuckled softly beside you.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” he murmured just for you.

His eye met yours, the world around him fading into a blur.

This wasn’t just love—it was peace.

As the ceremony began, Kakashi’s hand found yours, his thumb brushing gently over yours. You squeezed back, grounding him.

When the moment arrived, Kakashi stood before you, his hands at your waist, his mask just inches away.

You smiled up at him, fingertips brushing over the fabric.

“They’re waiting,” you whispered.

With an exaggerated sigh, Kakashi tugged the mask down, letting it pool around his chin.

The courtyard fell silent.

Naruto’s cup slipped from his hand.

Kakashi kissed you, staying just long enough to bask in the quiet shock.

When he pulled back—mask firmly in place—he glanced at the stunned crowd.

“Got you.” he replied as you smile at him.

[sayumiht]

"Remember me" - Chapter 7 - Kakashi Hatake x F!Reader

Pairing : Kakashi Hatake x Female!Reader

If you want to read Yamato's version, you can find it here.

Warnings : Memory loss, mind control (mk ultra inspired)

Inspiration : Where did she go - Saleka

Words : ~ 2300

A/N : Hello there ! Things aren’t going very well at work right now, and it’s taking a heavy toll on my mental health. I apologize for the delay and still hope you’ll enjoy it. And sorry for the mistakes, I'm not a native english speaker. Thank you again for the likes, reblogs and comments ♡

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This time, you didn’t wake up in your room, nor in that familiar space.

The place you found yourself in bore an uncanny resemblance to Old Lady Yubaba’s house. Had he teleported you? Moved you? Nothing made sense anymore.

As you examined the walls around you, you noticed they appeared to be made of simple wooden planks, carved with spirals. They were covered in them, and you spotted holes here and there in the floor. It was undoubtedly one of the rooms from the old woman’s house, except it felt distorted—almost nightmarish.

Had he brought you back here? Was this some kind of sick game meant to torment you?

Or had he imprisoned you within your own mind?

Stumbling slightly, you got to your feet and began moving toward what looked like the next room in the house. But the farther you walked, the larger the room seemed to grow, and the further away the end became. You were trapped. Was this an illusion?

How were you going to get out of here?

Faint murmurs and whispers began to echo around you, some inaudible, others partially clear. They overlapped, creating an indescribable cacophony of distorted, troubled voices—at times aggressive, at times sorrowful.

Amidst the fragments, you thought you recognized familiar voices: Naruto’s and Kakashi’s. A softer, feminine voice like Kurenai’s, and one resembling Iruka’s, occasionally interwove with the eerie sounds.

“You promised.” “It’s your fault he pushed you away.” “You’re weak.” “He’s hurt because of you.” “You never protected him.” “He’s always pitied you.” “You’re weak.” “Because of you, they’ll die.”

Closing your eyes for a moment, you tried to block out the torrent of voices and steady yourself. You had to find a way out of this place. But how?

A shadowy figure began to form at the far end of the room, and you instinctively took a step back, fearing it might be the man who had plunged you into this endless nightmare. The silhouette, partially shrouded in mist, advanced slowly toward you.

Without realizing it, a freezing hand grabbed your shoulder, pulling you backward. Startled and nearly losing your balance, you turned sharply to see a vague, mist-like shape resembling Naruto. But he only had one eye, and his smile—a single thin line—stretched unnaturally wide across his face, reaching his ears.

“How could you do this to me, huh, [Y/N]?”

A chill ran down your spine. Anxiety clawed at your chest as the other figure, which had been meters away just moments ago, suddenly loomed dangerously close to your face. You realized it was Kakashi’s silhouette—or at least something trying to look like him.

“You’ve always been a burden, a pathetic excuse for a ninja.”

Hot tears of anger and sorrow welled up in your eyes as you swung at the haunting figure. It vanished in an instant, just like Naruto’s shape had.

“Do you really think I ever loved you? That I could have loved you?”

The tears began streaming down your cheeks as you clenched your fists, ready to strike again if that formless apparition reappeared.

“You always disappointed him, you know. You never did enough for him.”

Growling in frustration, your vision blurred as the tears continued to fall.

“You’ll never be anything more than a failed family to Naruto. I’ve always pitied you. I’ve always despised you. And you never even noticed.”

“That’s enough!” you finally screamed, collapsing to your knees as you pressed your hands tightly over your ears, desperate to drown out the voices. “Why me? Why?”

After what felt like an eternity of sobbing, the chaos seemed to subside. Slowly lowering your trembling hands to the ground, you exhaled shakily. Why was this happening to you? Had you been in the wrong place at the wrong time? Should you have refused the mission that now condemned you to such relentless torment? Was everything truly lost?

No. You wouldn’t let yourself fall. There had to be a way—something, anything.

As you searched yourself, your fingers brushed against something familiar. Finally, you found something that might help.

A kunai.

Carefully pulling it from your pants pocket, you placed the kunai on the ground before you. Closing your eyes, you began to think, cycling through a flurry of possibilities and hypotheses.

That was when an idea struck you. That’s when there will be nothing left in your heart.

You repeated this phrase to yourself, over and over, as if it held the key to your imprisonment—your escape from this illusion. Nothing left in your heart.

Finally, gripping the kunai, you examined its blade closely before clenching it tightly in your hand. This had to be it. The key.

In your heart.

Trembling and hesitant, you turned the kunai toward your chest. Just as you were about to act, a different voice echoed through the space—a voice soft and light, entirely unlike the others.

“I know this isn’t really you. You’re in there somewhere…”

Your eyes darted frantically from side to side, searching for the source of Kakashi’s voice. It carried none of the venom or distortion from before.

“No matter what it takes, I’ll help you find the person you’ve always been. I won’t lose you again.”

Was your subconscious playing tricks on you? Or was Kakashi truly somewhere nearby?

Taking deep, steadying breaths, you closed your eyes once more, whispering words of encouragement to yourself. “This isn’t real. This isn’t real.”

Pulling the blade slightly away, you gave yourself a few moments to think back to the last days you’d spent in Konoha. Naruto, Kakashi…

With a surge of courage, you made your move, aiming the kunai directly at your chest. But something invisible resisted you. A strange force pushed back against your actions, making the attempt almost impossibly difficult.

Then, finally, it felt as though you had succeeded.

Opening your eyes, you braced yourself—but the sensation was odd, subtle, unlike anything you’d expected. What was more startling was how the world around you began to crumble at an alarming speed.

The walls fell away one by one, disintegrating into nothing. The floor was overtaken by spreading patches of white, until it became completely blank. Even the kunai in your hand began to dissolve, as though it had been made of nothing more than dust.

Now, all that surrounded you was an expansive white void, empty save for a single door at its far end.

You glanced frantically around, trying to assess whether this might be another trap. Finding no immediate danger, you pushed yourself to your feet.

Slowly, you made your way toward the door.

This time, it didn’t retreat as you approached.

Gripping the handle and taking a deep breath, you turned it and opened the door. -/-

“I’m so proud of you, Naruto! I knew you’d do it!” Your hands ruffled the young boy’s hair as he grinned ear to ear, proudly displaying his forehead protector.

“Will you take me to Ichiraku now?!” “Haven’t you already gone there with Iruka-Sensei?” “But you know I love ramen! Please!” Laughing, you gave him a soft, affectionate look. “We’ll go, don’t worry. But don’t you have to meet your team and your Sensei today? Am I wrong? So, off you go! We’ll go tonight!”

-/-

“You’ve damaged another one of my Icha Icha books. It’s almost as if you’re doing it on purpose, hmm?” You laughed, glancing at him before your gaze shifted to the battered cover of his beloved series. “I’ll replace it, don’t worry.” “Hmm, and what if I told you I’d like to keep it just as it is?” Raising an eyebrow in curiosity, you tilted your head slightly. “But it’s damaged.” “It is. But… it’s a memory of our sparring session today.” With those words, the Copy Ninja began to leave the training field, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

-/-

“I’m going to become Hokage!” “You’re so unpredictable, I don’t doubt it for a second.” “You don’t think I can do it?” “Of course, I do. It’s everything about who you are that makes me believe you will.” Naruto paused, looking at you as a soft smile spread across your face. “From then on, you’ll be the one taking me to Ichiraku, Naruto. Oh, being treated to ramen by the Hokage—what a treat!”

-/-

“Kakashi… I—I think we need to talk.” “Hmm?” Hesitant, you lowered your gaze, clenching your fists tightly. The Copy Ninja noticed your unease—something was troubling you deeply, and he’d never seen you like this before. A mix of fear, anxiety, and something else he couldn’t quite place lingered in your expression.

You remained silent, struggling to find the right words. “Is everything okay?” he asked calmly, stepping in front of you. Lowering himself slightly to meet your eye level, he tilted his head and placed a gentle hand on your head. “Did I do something to upset or hurt you?” “No! No, that’s not it!” “Hmm, then what is it?” “What… what are we?” He stared at you for a moment, his expression unreadable—either he truly didn’t understand the question, or he pretended not to. “What do you mean?” “Are we just friends, or… is there something…?” “Of course we’re friends. We always have been, haven’t we? Why this sudden question? Should I be worried?” “No, it’s… Forget I said anything, okay?” Walking past him, you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eyes. He stood still for a moment before quietly following after you.

-/-

“You know… Kakashi doesn’t show it, but he cares about you a lot.” “Kurenai… He—uh. We’re just friends, that’s all.” The kunoichi paused briefly before placing a hand on your wrist. “The way he looks at you… the way you look at him… Whatever the two of you are, even if he pushes you away, it’s more than friendship.” Blushing slightly, you took a sip of your drink, hoping to mask your embarrassment. “I don’t want to ruin what we have. I don’t want him to… push me away again.” “You’ll see. He cares about you more than he lets on.”

-/-

“How long have you and Kakashi-Sensei known each other?” “Oh, a while, I’d say.” Naruto frowned slightly, studying your expression as though trying to decode it. “Where did you meet, then, huh?” You smiled at the memory. Things hadn’t started on the best terms back then, but your relationship had grown considerably. “When I was in the ANBU.” “Are you friends?” “Uh… yes, yes.” Naruto tilted his head. “You don’t sound so sure.” “You know, some things are more complicated than just being friends, Naruto. You’ll understand one day.”

-/-

“Promise me you’ll stop putting yourself in danger like that, Naruto!” “I won’t stand by and do nothing! I’m tired of Sasuke always being the one who succeeds!” “I understand, but please, be careful. I don’t want to hear from Kakashi that something’s happened to you, okay?” Naruto hesitated for a moment before turning back to you. “I don’t want to lose you, Naruto. Do you understand? I know how much becoming Hokage means to you, how much you want to prove yourself. And I already believe in you. But please… be careful.” Suddenly, he pulled you into a hug, cutting off anything else you might have said.

You smiled softly as you wrapped your arms around him in return. “Maybe I worry too much about you. After all, you’re a ninja now, Naruto.”

-/-

“You didn’t go to the infirmary?” Throwing a quick glance at the Copy Ninja, you continued writing your mission report. “You should get that wound looked at, [Y/N]. It’s not safe to leave it untreated.” “I performed some quick first aid. It’ll be fine.” Frowning slightly, his gaze lingered on your shoulder. “Let me take a look.”

Before you could protest or refuse, Kakashi was already beside you, inspecting the injury. Straightening up, you set your pen down. As you instinctively moved to cover the wound with your hand, he caught your wrist, gently pulling it away.

Crouching slightly, he examined your shoulder more closely. The initial treatment had helped, but the wound still looked rough. He carefully began applying additional medical care as you gritted your teeth against the sting.

“Kakashi… I told you it’s fine.” “Your expression says otherwise.” “Why are you so worried?” He didn’t answer immediately, his gaze briefly meeting yours before returning to your injury. “Hmm. Focus on your mission report.” -/-

Fragments of memories flooded back at an overwhelming pace, as though you had just opened the door to your mind. Everything came rushing in at once, like a tidal wave, and the emotions tied to those memories were just as intense. Tears—both of joy and sorrow—streamed down your face as more and more came back to you.

You were [Y/N], a ninja of Konoha, a former ANBU. You were like an older sibling to Naruto. You were a friend to Kakashi—and perhaps something more. So, this was it. This was what the silver-haired ninja had spoken of.

You were friends but not quite friends. You were colleagues but not just colleagues. You were something much more, though you had both pushed it aside, avoiding the inevitable. Was fate somehow tied to this? Maybe everything would be different now.

That was your last thought before it felt like your eyes opened again. This time, it wasn’t a dream.

Gasping, still reeling from everything you had just seen and experienced, you were on your knees, your hands pressed firmly against the ground. Your gaze was filled with indescribable emotions.

You began coughing violently, blood spilling from your lips. Trembling, you caught sight of a shattered mask lying a short distance away. You weren’t alone. You didn’t know where you were either, but the sun was setting, and your body felt utterly drained.

Finally lifting your head, you saw him.

Kakashi.

♡ Tag List : @strflp @sayumiht

[sayumiht]

Tagged by @scarecrows-to-cherrytrees and @badadder1 thanks for tagging me! 💙

Rules: Post a GIF from 10 of your favorite movies without naming them, then tag 10 friends to do the same!

@kasagia @bluemingqueen @bellesans-merci @kakashixhatakesxwhore @twofortea @alteon77 @callo-ow @komokura

[sayumiht]

Dog Days have just begun - Kakashi x Reader

for @sayumiht for the Milestone Event Week 6 (open)

The Ninken - for reference - Making this part of the Baby Series for real

Things are changing in the Hatake Household.

What used to be a given is now only a maybe, and impossible things seem to happen on the daily.

Their master is finding friends, happiness, love right in front of their eyes.

It feels as if just yesterday Pakkun had to put on a more fashionable outfit to be the ring bearer for his master’s wedding.

And now…

“I can smell it too,” Bull exclaims, his voice low so as to not alarm their master.

“I told you,” Pakkun tells him, proud of his nose. He smelled it first.

“Do you think he knows?” Akino asks, his dark glasses glinting as he turns his head to look.

“Are you kidding me?” Urushi barks, his sharp eyes closing when steps come closer. He’s a terrible actor.

“What are you mumbling about?” You ask, stepping into the living room where almost all of the Ninken are hiding from the heat outside. 

“Nothing important,” Pakkun lies effortlessly, grinning smugly when you pick him up. “Yeah?” You ask, playing absentmindendly with his soft paws. “I’m starving. Do you  guys want something to eat as well?”

Bull immediately sits up. “Steak?” He asks, already drooling. You laugh.

“Sure, I think we have some left.” Bull celebrates loudly until Shiba hisses at him to shut up.

You smile, but there’s something sharp and haunting in that smile, something Pakkun has learned to watch out for

“Oh, but I need to know what you’re talking about though, right?” Your eyes wander over the Ninken. “Right?”

All eyes turn to Pakkun. He’s the best liar of the bunch by far and the one you trust the most, though how those two things connect he’s not sure. 

And he’s the one who figured this out first.

“Akamaru is having another litter,” he starts. “We were talking about that.”

“Hah,” you snort through your nose. “And you’re keeping that a secret?”

“Of course,” Pakkun nods wisely. “Now that our Master has married, he might get antsy at the topic.”

You go quiet. It’s the furthest he dares to go without saying what he thinks he should not yet say. 

“Right,” you put him down. “He is a little sensible, our dear Kakashi.”

Pakkun wholeheartedly agrees.

“Well,” you sigh. “Steak it is. Bull, be a good boy and leave some for the others this time.”

-

“Do you think she knows?” Bisuke asks, his round dark eyes focused on the door. You’re laughing on the other side, Kakashi’s deep voice rumbling in between.

Ever since you moved in bathtime happens mostly without the dogs. 

“She’s not yet far along enough,” Pakkun explains quietly. He fears Kakashi might hear them. “Let’s go outside.”

Quietly, Bull pushes open the door to the garden with his massive paw and they all file out, find themselves again under the darkened sky.

“Should we tell her?” Ūhei asks, his brows giving him a worried look.

Pakkun considers this. Should they? And who should they tell first?

“No,” he finally decides. “Not yet. She will think about it, I’m sure.”

They all agree quietly, following his lead.

“I wonder what it will be,” Guruko eventually comments, front paws folded, his whiskers shaking in the wind. “Girl or boy.”

“What if it’s both?” Bull asks. “It could be twins.”

Pakkun sighs. “Twins would be terrible. Kakashi would already be overwhelmed with one child.”

“Still,” Bisuke whistles low. “It would be wonderful. Kids are so cute.”

Bull nods. “They smell good too.”

“They pull on your ears and bite into your tail,” Pakkun points out morosely, though he can’t deny the truth. Kids are cute. And if that kid comes from Kakashi it will be all the cuter, he’s sure.

-

You’re throwing up.

Bull’s sitting by your side, whining low under his breath in sympathy with you.

Pakkun’s asked the others, but as far as they know, Kakashi’s at the tower, oblivious to this.

“Should I get him?” Pakkun asks, one paw on your naked thigh as you hug the toilet bowl.

“No,” you shake your head. “I’m sure it’s going to be over soon. The egg was probably spoiled.”

The Ninken are quiet for a moment. All eyes move to Pakkun who nods.

It’s time.

Gentle he puts another paw onto your thigh, puts his weight on his front paws until you look up at him.

“You know it wasn’t the egg,” he points out gently. “We all know.”

You stare at him, your eyes wide and full of tears.

He’s not sure if you’re going to start crying or not until you turn your head again to heave once more.

Bull whines low, putting his massive head on your shoulder.

“Did you tell Kakashi?” You ask when you reemerge, flushing the toilet.

Akino appears in the doorway, holding a water bottle between his teeth. You take it with a mumbled thanks, rinsing out your mouth. 

“No,” Pakkun lowers himself back onto his behind again, giving you some space. 

Bull doesn’t notice, still weighing heavily into you. Pakkun sends him an angry glare that the other dog blissfully ignores.

“But he’s smart,” Ūhei points out unnecessarily. You nod.

Quietly you drink your water and judging by how you let yourself sink into Bull, let the other Ninken crowd into you, you’re comforted by their presence, quiet or not.

-

You’re not home and Pakkun’s grown restless.

All the other Ninken have picked up on it too.

“Where is she?” Shiba asks.

“A mission, I think.” Bisuke answers.

“She didn’t tell him?” Urushi’s voice is gruff.

“Not yet.” Guruko doesn’t sound pleased.

“She will,” Pakkun reassures his friends. “She will.”

“She will what?” Kakashi appears in the doorframe, able to catch them all in the act with one eye alone.

“Come home,” Pakkun lies, resting his head on his front paws. “We miss her.”

“Hmm,” Kakashi nods, clearly not believing him. “Neither of you has been that worried about her before.”

“Well,” Pakkun starts and a few of the dogs tense suspiciously. Idiots. “We’ve grown used to them.”

“Ah,” Kakashi nods. “Me too.”

“You mean you love them,” Bull interrupts, stubborn. “Right?”

“Yeah,” Kakashi huffs. “That’s what I meant.”

Silence envelopes them. It would be so easy to point out the obvious. That it’s dangerous out there and so much safer in here.

But that would be a low blow, hitting right where it already hurts. 

Pakkun considers his options, swallows his pride and sits up, clearing his throat.

“I want that too.”

Seven pairs of eyes and Kakashi’s single one shoot over to where he sits.

“You want what?” Bull asks dumbly.

“A partner.”

“Since when?” Shiba scoffs.

“Since Kakashi’s no longer lonely,” Pakkun bites back gruffly. “I want to be just as happy. Don’t you?”

Akino gets it, he can tell, the dark eyes widening behind the dark glasses. “Sometimes,” he says. “Especially now that Akamaru’s got his own litter as well.”

“Oh, a litter…” Bisuke swoons. “That’s the dream.”

“What about you?” Guruko turns his face toward Kakashi, his whiskers shaking. “Do you want a litter too?”

Kakashi’s silent and stone faced, but his body is tense even as his face looks bored.

“Another Hatake,” Pakkun whistles, as if only just now realizing that. “That would be cute. But aren’t you already too old for that?”

Kakashi’s head falls back as he laughs out in surprise at that question.

“No, Pakkun,” he manages to snort. “I’m not too old. Yet.”

“Better start soon then,” Bisuke whistles with a grin. 

“Yeah, you’re not getting any younger,” Urushi points out before turning in a circle to find a better spot to sit on. “And neither are we.”

“Wow,” Kakashi grins under his mask. “You guys are very demanding.”

“We just know what we deserve,” Pakkun points out before getting up from his pillow. “And now I need to pee.”

-

You’re quiet when you return, though they all hear you.

“We’re awake,” Pakkun points out under his breath as you pass him in the hallway. “You can make light if you want.”

“Kakashi-”

“Is awake too,” a deep voice calls out from the open bedroom just second before he appears. “Hey, you’re back.”

You sink into Kakashi’s arms and Pakkun pulls away, sneaking back into the living room. You two deserve some time alone.

Neither of you turns on the light, though he can hear water running in the bathroom, can smell dirt and dried blood as well as the disinfectant Kakashi likes to use.

“Everything good?” Ūhei asks and Pakkun nods.

“Everything good. I can still smell the pregnancy. She smells healthy, just tired.”

“Good,” Bull grumbles low under his breath. “Couldn’t imagine what would be otherwise.”

They all quiet as the bathroom door opens again, listen to two sets of feet padding down the hallway and the whisper of your voices.

Kakashi’s low “I love you” followed by your tired “I love you more” and his almost desperate “I love you most”.

“If he washed her,” Guruko points out quietly after the bedroom door has closed, “he has seen it, right? He knows.”

Pakkun nods, unsure of where to go from here. “He knows.”

-

The next morning brings sunlight but the bedroom door stays closed.

Pakkun scratches it slightly around lunch but it takes Kakashi another two hours to appear.

“Everything good?” He asks his master when he finds Kakashi in the kitchen, staring dumbfoundedly at the coffee machine as if he’s seeing it for the first time.

“I’m going to be a father,” Kakashi mumbles, not moving.

“Ah,” Pakkun pushes his small body against Kakashi’s ankle. “And?”

“I’m going to be a father.”

“Mhm,” Bull settles on his other side. “And?”

“I’m going to be a father.”

“About time if you ask me,” Urushi grumbles, sidling up to Kakashi, the other dogs following, each one of them mumbling something as Kakashi repeats, again and again, “I’m going to be a father.”

That’s how you find them all, just a man and his worried, supportive Ninken, standing in the kitchen at 3 p.m.

You’re wearing nothing but your underwear and the swell of your belly is more pronounced now, too much to be be ignored any longer.

There’s a bandage covering your ribs and one on your right thigh, but you just yawn as you walk up to them, slip an arm around Kakashi’s shoulders and press a kiss to the side of his neck.

“A good father,” you point out, add on to his mumbles. “A really good father too.”

Kakashi’s fingers flex and he nods, finally pulled from his stupor.

“The best.”

You snort. “I expect this aiming for the top from Guy, not from you.” But there’s a softness in your voice and your actions as you keep standing there, not in a rush to move until he’s ready for it too.

You are the person they entrusted Kakashi’s heart with, that sensible, damaged, still beating thing. And you’re still as gentle with it as you’ve been the first day you’ve met him.

-

“What is it?” Bisuke asks, trying to see past the others.

“A girl,” Bull announces, the tallest of them all. 

“And a boy,” Pakkun points out, his nose the sharpest. “But the girl is older.”

“Twins?” Shiba asks.

“Twins!” Ūhei celebrates and the rest of them follows suit, barking their happiness out into the night.

Kakashi steps out to them about fifteen minutes later, two equally small bundles in his arms.

“Tsunade’s looking after the mother,” he tells his Ninken quietly. “But she allowed me to show you the litter.”

He lowers himself down until he’s crouching, pulls back the white cloth to show two identical looking faces. 

“What are their names?” Akino asks, the sight mirrored in his dark glasses. 

“I thought about calling them Rin and… and maybe Obito, for a moment. But we want them to start their life without the burden of someone’s past. They are their own beings with their own story to write.”

“So?” Urushi asks, ever impatient. “What are their names?”

“Susumu and Atsuko Hatake.”

-

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[sayumiht]

One for the Ages - a Kakashi x fem!Reader fic

Chapter 4/5

(Back to Chapter 1, Chapter 3)

Author's note: Onto lighter times, featuring flirtatious!Genma and jealous!Kakashi! For anyone new - this is a reader self-insert, slowburn fic, but the reader has a pre-established past, which reveals itself along with the story.

Word count: 2.1k

Summary (from part 1): A new shinobi joins the Konoha ranks and Kakashi finds himself inexplicably drawn to her. Quick Gai appearance in this chapter.

Warnings: none in this chapter!

Enjoy! ♡

-------------------------------------------------------

As the genin were competing in the first two trials of the chunin exam, Y/N found herself with more spare time than she desired. Wanting to avoid both thoughts of the gray-haired ninja, and another situation in which she'd have to resort to her kekkei genkai, she decided that developing her skills as a shinobi was the best way to pass the time.

She arranged sparring sessions with Gai, which had become a habitual thing for them now. He had been her first opponent, but also her first friend in the village, and their relationship grew as time went on.

She was getting her butt kicked during one such match, as it was strictly taijutsu, and Gai didn't hold back for her sake. She hit the ground for what felt like the hundredth time, when he extended his hand to help her up and suggested taking a break.

They sat on a fallen log in the clearing where they trained, Y/N took a sip of water, handing the bottle over to him.

"Is there something going on between you and Kakashi, Y/N?" Gai asked, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

She took another sip without looking over at him. Finally, she spoke, trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible.

"What makes you ask that?"

"I've known my rival for a long time, I can tell he acts differently whenever you're around. I just wondered if perhaps the spring of love has blossomed between the two of you like the flowers of a young sakura tree." He smiled widely.

Y/N managed to stifle her giggle at those words. Give it to Gai to describe things with so much flare.

"We're just friends, that's all." She replied, recovering her seriousness. "We have a lot of things in common." She added.

"Well, in case something does happen between the two of you, I want you to know that I will be the happiest man alive. Seeing two of my friends soaring high in the skies of love, brings such joy to my youthful soul!" He pulled his fists to his chest in a dramatic reenactment of how he felt.

"Thank you, Gai." She smiled. "But nothing's going to happen between me and Kakashi, believe me." The smile slowly fading from her lips.

On her way home from training, she thought about Gai's words. If people were starting to notice something odd between them, she had to put their minds to rest. Moreover, she had to put her own mind at rest. Although she'd enjoyed the closeness she still shared with Kakashi and their talks, he'd made himself clear that it would go no further. Perhaps it was time to move on.

Y/N was just preparing to go to bed, when she heard a faint knock on the door. Not expecting anyone, she felt on edge when opening the door. To her surprise, a scruffy-looking Kakashi stood at her entrance.

"May I come in?" He asked, weary-eyed and somber.

"Of course." She made way for him to pass. "Have you come back from a mission?"

"Indeed." He sat in his usual chair, stretching his legs in front of him and groaning in discomfort.

"Are you hurt? Do you need help?" Her voice was steady, although worry came through it.

"No, nothing some rest can't fix. I just wanted to see you."

His unexpected honesty struck a chord, but she forced herself not to read anything into his words. Instead, she put the kettle on and took some dried leaves off her rack.

"Why don't you lie on the bed and I'll make us some soothing tea. But take that muddy vest off before you do!" She added, as Kakashi headed to her room, making him chuckle.

"Don't tell me you've never thrown yourself onto the bed straight after an exhausting day." He said, putting a pillow behind his head, as he got more comfortable. It still surprised him how at ease he had begun to feel in her space. He pushed the thought away, refusing to let his feelings take over. He'd indulged enough by coming here in the first place.

Y/N walked over with two steaming mugs in hand. She handed one of them to her companion and took a seat on a chair by the bed.

"You've been keeping busy these days." He noted casually. "You're always out training or taking on new missions."

"Are you keeping an eye on me?" She raised her brow at him.

"I'm naturally observant, that's all."

As much as she enjoyed his presence, her desire to climb on top of him in that moment was too much to bear.

"Do you mind if I make some remedies while we talk?" Keeping her hands busy could resolve some of the tension in her body. She got up and started pulling various tools out.

"Go right ahead." He sipped on his tea, while watching her careful movements.

A few hours passed in pleasant conversation. Mugs, long emptied, sat on her nightstand. Kakashi got off of the bed.

"Thank you for keeping me company tonight. I needed it."

They bid each other goodnight and he left. Y/N sighed into the empty space. This friendship thing was becoming increasingly more difficult for her. She prepared her bed for the night, a new resolve building in her.

The next morning:

She was walking out of the Hokage's building after taking on a short C-rank mission to keep her occupied during the day, when she crossed paths with a handsome jōnin heading inside.

"Hey!" She called after him, surprising herself with this forwardness. "You're Genma Shiranui, right? You're one of the proctors for the chunin exam."

"That's right. I know you, aren't you Y/N? Your team is competing in the exam." He spoke, a faint smirk lingering on his lips. She nodded in response.

"Any chance you could give me a hint on what else you've got in store for these kids?" She asked, a cheeky smile lighting up her face.

"That wouldn't be very fair to the other sensei, now would it?" He replied, matching her cheek.

"It was worth a try!" Y/N prepared to leave but he interrupted.

"I'll tell you what though, my tongue gets quite loose when I've got a drink in me. How about it then?"

He was indeed very handsome, she thought, especially when he smirked in that self-assured way.

"Why not." She said out loud. "I'm on my way to take care of some things, but I'll be free tonight?"

"Great." He nodded. "See you then, sensei." He winked at her and went into the building.

Yes, a pretty distraction like that was just what she needed.

Walking out of the staff lounge later that day, Kakashi passed two chunin he vaguely recognised as Izumo and Kotetsu. They were talking loudly and he couldn't help but overhear their conversation.

"Hey, did you hear Genma's got a date tonight?"

"So what! That guy's always got some date or another."

"Yeah, but this one's with that new sensei. You know, the really pretty one."

"Ah, fair play to the guy then."

Kakashi's heart tightened at the thought of Y/N out with that jōnin. But why shouldn't she date, he tried to banish the feeling before he could even give it a name. After all, wasn't he the one who rejected the possibility of something more between them? Frustrated with both the situation and himself, Kakashi decided the best remedy was to busy himself throughout the day, so he could keep his mind distracted.

Y/N came home with enough time to shower the dust off herself and get ready for her evening plans. It was rare that she got to step out of her jōnin clothes and into something more appealing, so she took the time to make herself look nice. Once ready, she headed over to their meeting spot. Genma stood outside the venue, wearing a navy blue turtleneck with trousers to match, his signature senbon between his teeth. He grinned at the sight of her.

"Shall we?" He said, moving the curtain aside, so she could walk in.

They sat next to each other at the long bar, Genma sneaking looks at her, as they ordered their drinks. Y/N felt flushed with excitement. She couldn't help but notice the difference from her times spent with Kakashi. This felt both less secure and lighter at the same time.

They got to talking, the awkwardness quickly dissipating. Genma was very charming when he wanted to be, but he was also a good listener and showed genuine interest in what she was saying. Y/N found herself comfortably enjoying his company.

The more time passed, the more forward they became, flirting with each other and making remarks on the other's good looks. Occasionally, Genma would place a hand on her lower back, or his knee would touch hers and remain there, as if to test the waters. Y/N didn't mind, in fact, she encouraged it, feeling emboldened.

A few drinks later, they were both slightly tipsy and flushed with desire.

"It's getting late." She mentioned when the conversation had dwindled. "I should head back."

Genma looked at her, trying to read her expression. He was met with a cat-like smile that told him everything he needed to know.

"Can I walk you home?" He asked, ever the gentleman.

So, they walked, or rather swayed towards her place, locking arms whenever one of them tripped, giggling and talking loudly. Both of them too tipsy to sense the shadow that followed them close by.

Reaching the flat, they stumbled inside giggling, shushing each other, as to not wake the neighbours.

"I'll put some tea on to sober us up a bit." Y/N said cheerfully, letting go of Genma's hand, without even realising she'd been holding it for the last few minutes. In the fog of her drunken mind, she made a note of how quickly the intimacy between them had grown.

Genma looked around her flat, stopping at her bookshelf, trying hard to make out the titles, his vision blurry. When she'd put the kettle to boil, Y/N joined him where he stood, stopping awfully close to the handsome jōnin. He turned to look at her, his glazed eyes focusing on her lips, but before either of them could make a move, a knock on the door pulled them back into reality.

Surprised by the unexpected intrusion, she went to open it. And who did she find at the entrance, but the root of her recent troubles?

Kakashi stood in his usual slouched pose, a smile visible under his mask.

"Hello." Without waiting for a response, he made his way inside, brushing past Y/N.

"Oh, Genma, I didn't know you were here!" His tone was nonchalant, like they'd just bumped into each other in the staff room. "Sorry to interrupt, I think I might have left my book here last night." He said, putting a slight emphasis on his words.

Y/N stood completely stunned, still holding the door open, unable to comprehend what was happening. She watched in astonishment as Kakashi headed towards her bed with the obvious familiarity of someone who'd been in the flat many times, and crouched down to look under it.

"Hm. I think it might have fallen out of my vest when I took it off... Ah, there it is!" He pulled out a crinkled copy of Icha Icha and stuck it in his pocket. "You know me, can't go to sleep without my novels." He casually laughed, glancing at Genma, who looked like he'd sobered up rather quickly.

"Well, I'll leave you two crazy kids alone. Don't stay up too late. Goodnight." With a wave of his hand he was gone out the door.

Y/N finally regained some of her composure and turned to a very solemn looking Genma.

"I honestly have no idea what that was all about." She forced an apologetic smile on.

"Listen, I don't want to step on any toes here." He hesitantly spoke.

"You're not! Kakashi was here last night, but we just talked! I don't know why he needed to come in like that..." She blurted out, trying to do damage control.

"Look, Y/N, tonight's been great, and you're honestly very attractive, but this whole situation seems a little too complicated for me. Plus, I really don't want to get into Kakashi's bad books. That guy is terrifying."

Genma awkwardly remained in place for a moment, expecting her to say something.

"I think I had better go." He said, realising she wasn't going to.

Without waiting for a further response, he let himself out, closing the door behind him with a thud.

@duckingmetal @junksmah @jinnyart06 <3

[sayumiht]

One for the Ages - a Kakashi x fem!Reader fic

Author's note: Hey guys! I've not written a fic in years, but I'm stuck at home with a broken ankle, so getting back into it! This one is a reader self-insert, but the reader has a pre-established past, that'll reveal itself throughout the story. A real slowburn, intended to have multiple parts, so please let me know if you enjoyed it and I'll keep going!

Word count: ~2.5k

Summary: A new shinobi joins the Konoha ranks and Kakashi finds himself inexplicably drawn to her. Includes scenes with Gai & Iruka.

Warnings: Mentions of blood and trauma, otherwise none!

Enjoy! ♡

-------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1:

"I've gathered you all here because there will be a new shinobi joining your ranks..." The Third Hokage paused his address to the highest ranking village ninjas and glanced over to the woman standing beside him. Her face looked solemn but sure.

"Y/N is a refugee from the Village Hidden in the Wind and will be taking over one of the graduate genin teams as their sensei. I'm sure you will all make her feel welcome in our village's customary ways."

"But Lord Hokage!" Gai made his way through to the front of the small crowd. "I don't mean to challenge your decision, Lord Hokage, but how are we to accept this stranger as a shinobi, and a jōnin level one at that! Surely her skills must be put to the test beforehand!" A whisper of approval among the crowd followed Gai's words.

The Hokage turned to look at Y/N with a raised brow.

"I will do what is required of me." She nodded in return.

"Then it has been settled!" The Hokage turned back to the crowd. "Y/N will showcase her talents as a shinobi in a friendly fight. And I'm sure you won't mind being her opponent Gai, since you spoke so fervently on the matter." There was a note of playfulness in his voice.

"Yes of course, Lord Hokage! Maito Gai never backs down from a challenge!" The bushy browed sensei gave his usual flamboyant pose and a thumbs-up, not forgetting to throw a glance at his rival Kakashi, who stood towards the back of the crowd. For once Kakashi had put his book down, as he studied the new shinobi's face. It wasn't quite that he knew her from somewhere, rather, he knew that look in her eyes...

The crowd parted to make room for a make-shift arena for the match. Y/N and Gai stood in the centre, facing each other. There was a small smile playing on her lips as she watched Gai flash his stance.

"Forgive me if I don't go easy on you, newcomer!"

"I didn't ask you to."

"Confidence! I respect that in an opponent! Now let's see what you've got!"

In a flash Gai was behind her with a kick to the head, but despite his impeccable speed and technique, Y/N seemed to block it with ease. He followed up with a fury of punches and kicks, but none of them seem to land. It was like she could sense him coming from each direction. As Gai tried to land another powerful kick,  Y/N successfully dodged and tried to return the favour. Gai easily evaded her attack and jumped some distance away from her.

"You're fast, I'll give you that. But you've gone in too cocky." Y/N smirked, an evident smile creasing her face for the first time that day.

"It's time we ended this fight. Wind style, syphon jitsu!" A gust of wind rolled around Gai and pulled him towards Y/N like a torpedo. Before he could release himself, he was met with a powerful kick that sent him flying towards the end of the fighting area, cracking the ground beneath him with his fall.

"Well, I believe that's sufficient proof, wouldn't you say?" The Hokage pronounced from the podium. "Let's call it a day before someone gets a concussion!" As the Hokage and his men made to leave, Y/N approached Gai and extended her hand to him with a friendly smile, helping him back to his feet.

"Your skills are indeed formidable! But don't think I'll go down that easy on our next encounter!" He flashed her a toothy grin, which she matched right back.

"Your taijitsu is some of the best I've ever seen. Perhaps you could teach me in a friendlier sparring match next time?"

"I'd be delighted. You should see my student Rock Lee's taijitsu skills as well! He's quite the talent. Of course, Neji Huyga is also on my team and he's a real prodigy."

"A Huyga! I believe I might have one of those on my team too... I really must brush up on my knowledge of the village history and the next generation of shinobi..." Y/N brushed the sweat off her brow with a concerned expression on her face. She really had her work cut out for her.

"In that case you should speak to Iruka at the Academy. He's been teaching the last few classes of genin to graduate there, he'll be able to catch you up on things!" Gai gave her a thumbs up. "I will see you around, Y/N-sensei. Welcome to Konoha!"

She bowed in return and made her way towards the exit. Kakashi stood near the door, leaning against the wall with his book in hand. As she walked passed him, he looked up and his lazy eye met hers.

"Your book..."

"Hm?"

"It's upside down."

Flustered, Kakashi looked down, and then back up towards her, but she'd already disappeared. "I've never been worse at my job as a ninja, than in this moment." He thought to himself following the rest of the crowd outside. Perhaps following the new jōnin from afar wasn't the best tactic to employ here. He'd have to get to know her the old-fashioned way.

Next day:

The kids had all just piled out of the classroom when he heard a knock on the door frame.

Iruka looked up to see a female shinobi he'd not met before.

"Is this a good time?" She asked.

"Ahem, yes, what can I do for you?"

"My name is Y/N. I'm a... transfer from another village. I'll be training team 8 from now on. I was told you could help me catch up on the village's history, Iruka-sensei." A soft smile blossomed on her lips as she bowed her head to him.

Flustered by the way she had voiced her request, Iruka blushed and stammered out a response. "Of course, I'd be happy to help! What is it that you want to know?"

"Well, my students' backgrounds for a start, the village clan history, really anything I can get my hands on. I'm keen to do right by these kids."

Her words strung a chord with Iruka. "Yes, we all are. Well, I have some books with me here that you're welcome to borrow, and I have some more things at my flat that might be useful. I could bring them tomorrow... or if you'd like to join me, I have some spare time this afternoon, I can take you through them myself?" Iruka was bright red by this point, it had taken all the courage he had left that day to suggest it.

"That would be awfully generous of you, if you're sure I won't be imposing!"

"Not at all! I'll just finish collecting my things and we can head out!"

They walked back towards his place, Iruka filling their silence with stories of his students, often sending Y/N into fits of laughter. It was nice being in Iruka's presence, warm, light. Iruka, in the middle of a story, turned to her, gesticulating wildly for added affect when he bumped shoulders with someone.

"Hey! Oh... Kakashi... sorry, I wasn't looking."

The grey haired ninja stood in casual clothing with a grocery bag in his arm and an unreadable expression on his masked face. He nodded to Iruka without even looking at him, his lazy eye resting on Y/N instead.

"You two look like you're getting along."

Iruka blushed, but Y/N's face remained unchanged. She made a mental note of his name. Kakashi. There was something about him that made her feel uneasy. Like he could see right through her.

"Day off?" She casually asked.

"Not quite. I've been assigned a solo mission and just had some time to prepare for it."

"Well good luck on it." Iruka threw in. "We better get on, Y/N, it'll take me some time to dig everything up for you."

"Right." She bowed to Kakashi and followed Iruka, already a few steps ahead, eager to lose the notorious jonin. She couldn't help but throw a glance back at Kakashi, just to see his back lazily swaying as the distance between them grew. Something in her ached at the sight.

A few days later:

Another sleepless night. It wasn't that her new bed, in her new room, part of her new life, was uncomfortable. It was rather that things were too comfortable. She couldn't remember the last time she could sleep peacefully without fear for her life before coming to Konoha. The Hokage had been kind enough to give her time to settle in, so she hadn't been sent on any missions yet; still, her body jolted awake at night, her mind unable to tell reality from the demons that haunted her sleep.

Tonight was even worse, Y/N hadn't been able to sleep a wink, aware of every slight noise, the room stuffy, her body hot. In a moment of desperation, she'd jumped out of bed, grabbed a scarf and walked out in the cool night air. She strolled aimlessly, her eyes adjusting to the dimly lit village, her head spinning with thoughts about the past, the training she'd prepared for her newly acquired genin, whom she'd meet soon, but most of all (and she really did try to shoo that particular one away) she thought about the mysterious gray-haired ninja, whose single visible eye had bored into her soul.

As if answering her muddled thoughts, a sudden rustling caught her attention. A shadow jumped out of one of the nearby trees, landing onto the ground, stumbled, hand clutching side, but noticing he wasn't alone, tried to regain composure. The figure walked towards her, slightly strained until he came into sight.

"Kakashi! What are you doing sneaking around at this time of night!"

"I should ask you the same thing. A little late for a stroll, is it not?

His mask and clothes were covered in mud and dust, his whole look quite dishevelled. Noticing Y/N's eyes studying him curiously, he let out a slight chuckle.

"I've just come back from my mission, that's all."

"You're injured." She said plainly.

"It's nothing, really."

"I can smell the blood from here. I think you should go to the hospital..."

"No." He quickly cut her off. Seeing the look of persistence on her face, he realised he wouldn't get out of this one so easily.

"I can't go to the hospital, they'll keep me there for days, and I have... I have things to take care of tomorrow." His whole body sagged in resignation.

"Can I at least have a look?" She said softly.

"If you must, but I warn you, it's not pretty."

Kakashi unzipped his vest and lifted his shirt, showing a nasty, open wound on his left side. It didn't seem too deep, but definitely painful.

"Don't worry, I've seen enough blood i my time." Y/N stepped closer, as the darkness of night didn't allow for clear vision. She didn't fail to notice the strained muscles of his abdomen, or the way his v-line tucked into his trousers, but pulled all her strength into focusing on the wound.

"You won't go to hospital, fine. But will you let me help? If you don't take care of this, you'll wind up with an infection, that'll keep you in hospital longer than a few days."

"What can you do?" Kakashi's voice sounded unsure.

"Do you think you could trust me?"

He stood silent for a moment, studying her face. To his own dismay he nodded.

"Then follow me."

They walked together slowly, Kakashi tiredly dragging his feet at times.

"You can lean on me if you need to. I can handle the weight."

"No, I'm quite alright. Just tired."

"You're very stubborn, you know. I'm surprised you're even coming now." He could detect a smile in her voice, the thought of which made him shiver.

"Not as surprised as I am." He swallowed thickly. He hated talking about himself. "What were you doing out at this time anyway?"

"I..." Y/N fell silent for a moment. She still didn't know how to open up to strangers, how much of her past she could reveal without it becoming dangerous. "I find it hard to sleep. If I do manage it, I'm plagued by nightmares, the rest of the time I'm just... on edge. Walking outside seems to help."

Kakashi just nodded in response, hoping it didn't go unnoticed in the darkness that surrounded them. In truth, he wanted to tell her he understood perfectly, and that he couldn't remember the last time he got a good night's sleep. That he felt perpetually exhausted and feared the shadows that his mind conjured at night. Most of all, he wanted to ask if they could keep each other company on their sleepless nights. But it felt much too soon for any of that, so he said nothing.

"We're here." Y/N announced, standing at the door of her building. She pulled out her key and pushed the door open, making way for Kakashi to go in.

"Is this... your flat? Y/N, I hate to tell you this, but I'm really not that kind of girl." Kakashi tried to joke, but something caught in his throat and he coughed, writhing in pain from his wound.

"Very smooth." She scoffed at him. She lead him into the kitchen and turned on the light, revealing strings of drying herbs, hanging across her window.

"Sit here." She pointed at a chair and Kakashi silently obeyed, taking in his surroundings. She didn't have much, just enough mugs and plates for the comfort of one, no pictures or personal memorabilia hanging on the walls. So she hadn't brought much with her then.

Meanwhile, Y/N picked a couple of different leaves from her drying racks and started mixing them into a paste, adding liquid from little jars, strewn along the window sill. Finally she walked over with the mixture in hand.

"May I?" She asked, pointing at his wounded side.

Kakashi lifted his shirt once more, and kneeling next to him, she started carefully covering the gash with the sticky green concoction.

The room was filled with a grassy scent. Her hands were cold, which eased the pain of contact with the wound. Kakashi tried his best not to wince, but his body betrayed him by twitching away from her every time she touched him. He wondered whether it was just the pain, or the sensation of being touched by another, that had become so foreign to him outside of combat.

"There, there. Almost done." Her voice was soothing, almost sweet. Kakashi's body instinctively relaxed to the sound of it. They remained like this for a few seconds, him silently watching her movements from above.

"You know, you should take it easy on Iruka. I think he has a crush on you." He spoke quietly, testing the waters.

Y/N cocked a brow, but refrained from looking up, worried that her flushed cheeks would betray her.

"I think that's a stretch, he was just being helpful, that's all." She tried to keep her voice nonchalant.

Kakashi just hummed in response, unsure if he'd managed to find what he was looking for.

"Right, you can put your shirt back down. This should speed up the healing, and subdue the pain. It'll harden and act as a protector for the wound. Just wash it off in a couple of days." She got up, heading towards the sink to wash up.

"How did you know to do this?" He asked, standing up to test how it felt when he moved.

"There was a woman in my village." Y/N spoke with her back still turned to him, eyes focused on washing the mixing dish. "People were afraid of her, thought her a witch. But she was kind to me when not many others were." She placed the dish on the drying rack and turned back to look at him. There was a sadness in her eyes, that didn't evade Kakashi's notice. "She shared some of her knowledge of herbs with me. Insisted it could save my life some day."

They stood silently, staring at each other. It seemed they had both suddenly realised that they were alone in her flat, and weren't sure what to do with that knowledge.

"I should probably go." Kakashi was the first to break their silence.

"Yes. Probably should."

"I'll see you around. And Y/N... thank you."

Without waiting for a response, Kakashi turned towards the door, and left somewhat hurriedly, his heart in his throat. Y/N remained in her place for a minute longer, staring at the space he'd just occupied. How right it had felt to have him here, in her kitchen. How afraid she was of that thought.

[sayumiht]

"Remember me" - Chapter 5 - Kakashi Hatake x F!Reader

Pairing : Kakashi Hatake x Female!Reader

If you want to read Yamato's version, you can find it here.

Warnings : Memory loss, mind control (mk ultra inspired), angst

Inspiration : Where did she go - Saleka

Words : ~ 3200

A/N : Hello there ! Here's a new chapter! I hope you will enjoy it. And sorry for the mistakes, I'm not a native english speaker. Thank you again for the likes, reblogs and comments ♡

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That meal with Asuma and the brief exchange about you had somewhat shaken the Copy Ninja. His friend had struck a nerve where he sincerely hoped no one would ever go, as he already blamed himself enough. He had replayed that scene over and over in his mind since your departure. Far too many times, in fact. Each day that had passed since that mission brought him back to that night—whether it was through a fleeting thought or long hours staring blankly into the distance. He had hoped everything might be different upon your return, that he would finally be able to say what he should have told you long ago. But his chance had slipped away, stolen by his fear—fear that all of this might put you in danger, fear of allowing himself even a sliver of happiness when he wasn’t sure he deserved it.

Closing his eyes, he let himself drift and replayed that painful memory once more.

“I heard someone talking about the next mission assigned by the Hokage earlier today. Apparently, [Y/N] was selected for it.”

Genma was sitting at the same table as Kakashi, Asuma, and Kurenai. They had simply gone out for a drink that evening, talking about their respective teams and the various progress their students had made.

The silver-haired ninja turned his gaze toward him, curious.

“I don’t know the details, but it’s said not to be a short mission,” Genma added, an idle senbon needle between his lips as he glanced briefly at Kakashi.

“She’s leaving for several months. At least,” Kurenai added, taking a sip of her drink. “She wasn’t thrilled about it, mainly because of Naruto… But she didn’t have a choice this time.”

He remembered feeling a faint pang of sadness at Kurenai’s comment. She knew, and he didn’t? Such a long mission? Thoughts swirled chaotically in his mind, though he had yet to voice them.

“What kind of mission is it?” Asuma finally asked, noticing a subtle distress in his friend’s carefully guarded expression.

Genma took a few seconds to think before responding.

“I’m not entirely sure, but it’s about delivering information to various countries and villages.”

A slight wave of relief passed through Kakashi. At least it wasn’t necessarily a dangerous mission. Still, your silence on the matter and the mission’s duration didn’t sit well with him.

“You’re not going to see her for her last night here, Kakashi?”

Her last night? You were leaving tomorrow? The ninja froze. You hadn’t told him anything?

“The mission starts tomorrow?” he asked, his voice laced with sadness as the muscles in his face began to tighten.

Seeing his reaction, Genma leaned back slightly in his seat, surprised that Kakashi appeared to be in the dark.

“Kakashi… She didn’t tell you?”

He stood silent for a moment before suddenly rising to his feet.

“Apparently not.”

With that short but emotionally laden sentence, the Copy Ninja left the bar, heading straight for your apartment, hoping to find you there. A storm of questions filled his mind. Why hadn’t you told him about this? Why decide to leave without even spending a little time with him? Of course, you must have been shaken at the thought of leaving for so long and leaving Naruto behind, but why so much distance with him?

Now perched on one of the rooftops that allowed him to see your bedroom window, he sighed when he saw you packing your bag. After a short moment, he moved to your window, as he often did. But this time, he neither waited for you to open it nor for your permission to come in.

He positioned himself just behind you, silently.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

His voice was heavy with a mix of anger, confusion, and sadness. You continued packing, not turning to look at him.

“What difference would it have made?”

He sighed, looking away for a few seconds.

“More than you think.”

“Oh, really? What do you know about what I think or don’t think?”

The question caught him off guard. What was suddenly wrong with you? Why were you pushing him away like this? He placed a hand gently on your shoulder, hoping you would turn to face him. But you didn’t move.

“I don’t understand. Talk to me, [Y/N], please.”

Your body began to tremble under his hand, and his expression softened, revealing only sadness.

“I’m leaving for months, maybe longer. I don’t know when I’ll come back, Kakashi. And I’m terrified of leaving Naruto alone. But Naruto… Naruto, I know he’s like my little brother, and no matter what, he always will be. As for you and me, Kakashi…”

He remained silent, waiting anxiously for your next words. Deep down, he already knew what you were going to say. He had noticed the changes in your behavior for a while now. You looked at him more often. You blushed more frequently. You were more tactile. He knew this was inevitable, and even though his own heart screamed the same things as yours… he couldn’t. He was terrified of losing you if he let you get too close. You had never really questioned what you were to each other until now. It had never truly bothered you before, but tonight, he could sense your unease and worry. It was as if all your doubts and unanswered questions were suddenly surfacing. Everything that once felt certain and unquestionable was now becoming a source of concern. This mission was challenging many things, and its length seemed to be shaking the very foundation of your world.

“I don’t even know what we are anymore. I feel like I’ve gotten too attached to you. I know you don’t… see me the way I see you, and… Maybe… Maybe we should have stuck to casual, professional conversations. Maybe we never should have seen each other outside of missions. Maybe this was all too much.”

He wished you didn’t see things that way. Because he didn’t. But you were leaving in just a few hours, and how could he possibly confess everything that was in his heart? A few hours wouldn’t be enough to explain everything, to overcome the demons that built a wall between his mind and his heart.

He wrapped his arms around you then, resting his head gently on yours and taking the time to breathe calmly. Even though you were turned away, he could tell you were calming down slightly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered softly, as if afraid to break something fragile. “Sorry that you think all of this… is too much.”

Sobbing, you tried to form a coherent sentence.

“Why, Kakashi?”

He paused, his hands coming to rest on yours as his embrace tightened.

“I promise we’ll talk about this when you get back from your mission. There’s so much I need to tell you, but now isn’t the right time.”

“I’m leaving for months, Kakashi! Maybe even longer!”

Finally, he turned you around so your face was in his view, cupping your cheeks with both hands and wiping your tears away. Gently pressing his forehead against yours, he ran one hand through your hair while the other rested behind your waist, pulling you close to him.

“I know. And I’m going to miss you. More than you can imagine.”

He remembered that night vividly. He had stayed with you, holding you in his arms until you fell asleep in your bed. That was when he had gone home. That was when he had let a few tears fall. Had he made the right choice?

Today, Kakashi finally had the answer to Asuma’s question.

No. If you looked at him again the way you always had, he wouldn’t push you away this time. He wouldn’t let you go again. Fate had given him his answer. And if it had brought you back to him, it was so that he would never let you go like he did that night.

________________________________________ You had barely had time to spend a little while with Naruto before he had to leave Konoha for an urgent mission. Neither he nor Kakashi had given you any details, but the young ninja seemed extremely worried and in a rush. You had vaguely heard something about Suna, the Village Hidden in the Sand, and someone in danger. Tsunade had refused to tell you more and appeared particularly concerned herself.

After such emotionally charged days, the one now coming to an end felt far too calm, and you weren’t sure how to occupy yourself. You were worried for them as well, but you did your best to think of other things, simply hoping they would return as soon as possible.

That’s when you decided to keep writing and drawing in the notebook the Hokage had left on your bedside table. Night had already begun to fall, and a strange feeling kept you from closing your eyes.

The silence slowly settled in, broken only by the soft sounds of your pencil moving across the pages.

Until a strange noise made you turn your head toward your bedroom door. Furrowing your brow, you placed the notebook, still open, on your bed and set the pencil on top. Just as you started to stand up to check, you froze as the door swung open with a sudden force.

The hallway was unlit, and only the dim light of the night outlined the tall silhouette standing before you. It was a man, and he appeared to be dressed like Kakashi—except that his face didn’t seem to be covered. However, the lack of light in the room made it impossible to make out his features or exact appearance.

Your breathing quickened, as if something deep inside you dreaded this person’s presence.

He approached you slowly, and you stepped back at the same pace, retreating deeper into your room until you could go no further—your back pressed firmly against the wall.

“I’ve been sent to deliver the signal,” he began, his voice carrying no hint of reassurance.

Leaning closer to your ear, he suddenly pulled a kunai from his pocket and stabbed it into the wall just beside your face. You tried to strike him, but he deflected your attempt and pinned you harder against the wall, his forearm pressing against your throat, forcing a groan from you.

“Oh, don’t get ahead of yourself—you’ll lose hope soon enough.”

He intensified the pressure on your neck, and you struggled to push him away, your brows furrowed in determination.

“The final fragment of hope lies where you must abandon all that you hold dear.”

At those words, your head began to spin, your heart pounded faster, and your breathing turned ragged. It felt as though everything around you was spinning out of control, as though you were completely losing your balance. The man before you snapped his fingers a few times in front of your eyes, and then everything went black.

________________________________________

“Lady Hokage! There’s been an incident at the hospital!” Tsunade abruptly looked up, her brows furrowing as she fixed her gaze on the ninja who had just burst into her office. “We found the guards unconscious this morning, and she’s gone. [Y/N], the one you had placed under surveillance.”

That was all Tsunade needed to hear. She slammed her hands against her desk, grimacing as her thoughts raced. “Could it be…? No, it can’t be related to Gaara or the Akatsuki…”

She muttered to herself, her voice barely above a whisper. The ninja standing before her remained silent, awaiting further instructions. Suddenly, her eyes widened, and she clenched her teeth. “I’ll send a team to search for her immediately. In the meantime, try to gather more information.”

“About that…”

The ninja stepped closer to Tsunade’s desk, holding a sketchbook carefully in his hands. He opened it to a double page and placed it delicately before her.

Tsunade leaned in to examine the sketches you had left behind. She had glanced at the earlier pages before, but these were completely different. Her gaze froze, and she gently rested her fingertips on the pages, as if trying to decipher their meaning.

It was always the same silhouette: someone tall, wearing a long cloak, with a face scribbled over in heavy black pencil. A faint white hole where the face should be broke the otherwise oppressive darkness of the figure. Surrounding these sketches, she noticed spirals—each more warped than the last—and kunai scattered throughout. The composition itself was utterly chaotic, and her concerns about you only deepened.

“We need to find her immediately.”

The ninja nodded silently, leaving the room at once and leaving Tsunade alone with the sketchbook.

In that moment, she felt helpless. Who was this? Was it the person you had mentioned during your fight with Genma? Were they the cause of your loss of control that day? Or perhaps, even beyond that, the source of your headaches and your sudden disappearance?

The timing of Gaara’s kidnapping couldn’t be a coincidence, and one thought consumed her mind: Was it the Akatsuki, and what had they done to you?

Regardless of the truth, she knew one thing for certain: Naruto was in danger, too.

________________________________________

You woke up alone, in a room dimly lit by a single candle on the floor. You vaguely remembered a ninja visiting you last night, but you couldn’t recall what he had said or what had happened after he stepped through the door. A pounding sensation filled your head, as if someone were beating a drum inside your skull. Sitting cross-legged, you placed a hand on your temple. What were you doing here, exactly?

As you glanced around the room, taking in more details, you noticed a silhouette slowly emerging into the candle’s light. You froze in place, unable to move a muscle.

“Well, you’re awake. Now we can talk like old times, just the two of us.”

That voice. That cursed voice. The chills it sent through you were far worse than in your nightmares. This time, there was no escape. No one to wake you from the nightmare to come.

Your gaze immediately locked onto his mask as it emerged into the light. That spiral—that cursed spiral.

Once close enough, he crouched in front of you, studying you for a moment. “I see that all of our work has been successful.”

You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t move.

“The mind is a fascinating thing, isn’t it? The way it can be adjusted, shaped.”

You tried to look away, but his hand grabbed your chin, forcing you to face him. “No, no. That’s no way to thank me now, is it?”

Grinding your teeth, you shut your eyes tightly. “Don’t worry. You won’t have to force anything. In fact, you won’t do anything consciously.”

Your eyes shot open, and you glared at the black hole that appeared where his face should be. Anger, fear, and hatred swirled in your expression, and he laughed at the sight. “You’ll soon put all those emotions to good use. Be patient. We’ve got a bit of time to kill before you take action.”

You began to tremble. What was he planning to do to you? What was he talking about?

“At first, you weren’t even a target, you know. A twist of fate, perhaps?”

He finally sat down, looking toward another part of the room. “I’m the one who found you—not Yubaba.”

He spoke slowly, as though he were weighing his words or reminiscing. “A ninja, unconscious and wounded—what value was there in that, hmm?” He paused briefly. “Your head injury and your proximity to the Nine-Tails’ jinchūriki saved your life that night.”

Why was he telling you this now? Why now?

“To be honest, you’re nothing more than a test. I don’t know if you’ll be able to see this through. The remedies you’ve been given in the meantime… might cause problems. You’ll need to have one last cup of tea with me today, if you please.”

Deep inside, your anger boiled. The more he spoke, the stronger your desire grew to silence him by force.

“I’ll also give you a second mission, in case you fail the first.”

He turned toward you, as if waiting for some kind of acknowledgment, but you didn’t move. “If you fail to bring me the Nine-Tails’ jinchūriki on your first attempt… I want you to target someone else. Someone who could become an obstacle. And I think you’ll enjoy what comes next.”

He looked at his gloved hands, eventually clenching one into a violent fist. “You seem close to the Copy Ninja, Kakashi Hatake, am I wrong?”

At the mention of Kakashi’s name, your entire body tensed, and fear flashed in your eyes. He noticed immediately, laughing at how little it took to bend you to his will. “I see that simply mentioning his name puts you in such a state, hmm? This is going to be interesting.”

He grabbed your wrist, holding your hand out in front of you. “I want you to eliminate him. Use these little hands of yours to destroy him.”

Your gaze turned ice-cold. Kill Kakashi? Your choices were to hand Naruto over to him or kill Kakashi?

Was this it, then? Was this the destiny that awaited you? Betray or kill the two people who had mattered most to you? This black void, this suffering—was it all leading to this?

Your eyes started to well up as you stared at the hand he held as if it disgusted you. This wasn’t what you wanted. This wasn’t what you wished for. But you no longer had control. Or perhaps, there was still the faintest shred of it left.

“N-No.”

The single word escaped your lips, requiring a monumental effort.

“Oh?” He seemed surprised, though you could only tell by the tone of his voice. “You managed to speak?”

You stared at him, unblinking, summoning all your strength to resist him in whatever way you could.

“You think you have a choice, don’t you? I thought you’d realized by now that you don’t. From the moment you fell off that cliff, you lost all power over your existence. Do you really believe you lost your memory only because of your fall?”

He laughed again. “You’re only useful to me now because you might serve my plans. Nothing else. You’re no one. You’re nothing.”

His voice had grown far more serious, almost irritated. “You’ll soon see that hope is gone. You should give up. Fighting won’t change anything. Either you complete one of your missions… or it’s the end for you. The result will be the same, whether you fail or try to escape.”

No, no. It couldn’t end like this.

“Shall we move on to the main event?”

You noticed his right hand inching closer to your face, just like in your nightmares. He pressed it near your mouth, while his other hand reached for a small flask hidden in one of his pockets.

“One last cup of tea before you take the stage. In memory of all those little evenings we spent talking together. Ah, but I forgot—you don’t remember those either, do you?”

Your eyes reflected nothing but terror now.

“It was a fascinating experience, working with your subconscious, shaping this new personality of yours. A long process, but perhaps a valuable asset. Or, at the very least, an excellent distraction to divert attention from Konoha.”

With those final words, he forced your mouth open and poured the flask’s contents inside. The taste was identical to Yubaba’s, except the herbs seemed to have been steeped longer, making the concoction unbearably strong.

“Soon, there will be nothing left in your heart.”

Your vision blurred, and before you could question anything, his hand withdrew from your face. He snapped his fingers in front of your eyes, and everything turned dark once more.

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