sarawinchester27 - Tumblr blog

[sarawinchester27]

loving someone is wanting them to be happy, not necessarily to be with you

-me

[sarawinchester27]

love me like you want me to love you and I'll love you like I want you to love me

-me

[sarawinchester27]

love yourself as much as you love your favorite fictional character.. no matter how much and how often you screw up it's not your fault and you deserve the best even if you don't know it or believe it

[sarawinchester27]

reasons why I don't smile anymore:

# if I smile to a tranger: bro do u know me??

# if I smile to my brother/sister: you're going crazy get help

# if I smile to my dad: what have you done this time?

# if I smile to my mom: go away I ain't got no money

# if I smile in class: teacher: OUT!!!

[sarawinchester27]

I literally get high on making people happy just like Sherlock gets high solving crimes

[sarawinchester27]

Things Edward Could’ve Said That Sound Less Suspicious

Bella: Your eyes are a different color, did you get contacts?

Edward: Uh haha yeah I did. I think they look pretty cool.

Edward: *stops the car and saves Bella* Hey are you ok? *stands up, pretends his arm hurts* Awesome I’m gonna get this looked at now.

*Tells Carlisle. Comes back to school with arm in a cast and sling*

Bella: How did you stop that car? You were amazing.

Edward: Well sadly I wasn’t bit by a radioactive spider and I don’t have superpowers. Doctor said it was an adrenaline rush, it’s a common natural response to life or death situations. Basically it maximizes your body’s physical capabilities. So yeah it’s like temporary super strength and speed. Crazy shit.

Bella: You’re so cold. I can’t feel your pulse.

Edward: I have hypothyroidism and bradycardia.

Bella: Aren’t you going to eat something?

Edward: I have to be on a special diet.

Bella: Oh right, your condition, sorry.

This list could go on and on. You’d think after being a mind reading vampire for 91 years you’d learn a thing or two about being a good liar. SHEESH.

[sarawinchester27]

you know you're a true Sherlock fan when you recognize John Watson by his right nostril

[sarawinchester27]

come to think of it a lot of muggle things are better than their magical counterparts

They work like charm.

[sarawinchester27]

don't worry we're just gonna talk

*gun behind back* don't worry we're just gonna talk

[sarawinchester27]

Umm.. why not do both??

I wanna be a T-rex

[sarawinchester27]

[sarawinchester27]

Alien: You’re telling me that in times of great distress humans have been known to suddenly gain the strength necessary to lift objects more than a dozen times their own weight?!

Human: Yeah, it’s called “hysterical strength” and it usually happens in life-or-death situations, like when someone gets stuck under a car or something and someone lifts the car to get them out. We can’t really test it though, ‘cause it only happens spontaneously.

Alien: Humans have the ability to tap into untold strength and power and you don’t even know how you do it?

Human: Pretty much, yeah. We think it has something to do with temporary analgesia, so we just don’t feel the pain we should when we pick up a 3000-pound car.

Alien: YOUR PAIN RESPONSE JUST SHUTS OFF?

Human: Yeah, it’s like an adrenaline thing? Do you not have that?

Alien: Fuck you and your entire species of tiny juggernauts.

[sarawinchester27]

am I the only one that has predicted it at the last minute and unclenched my jaw just before reading the last photo?

HI IT’S ME AGAIN

YOU’RE FUCKING UP YOUR TEETH AND YOUR MUSCLES AND SHIT

[sarawinchester27]

still hot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My Halloween Costume

[sarawinchester27]

Drama.

[sarawinchester27]

congratulations Chuck.. you're officially worse than Metatron

[sarawinchester27]

just started teaching and I'm having an identity crisis. I'm using my "teacher voice" at home... on my mom... please help