sapphos-roommate

[sapphos-roommate]

there are letters sitting in the drawer of my bedside table

love letters, left unsent

goodbyes, just in case

words and words

sentence after sentence

until I am not sure the difference

between ink and blood

the stains look the same in the dark

[sapphos-roommate]

I think something is broken inside of me.

I am in love with the idea of falling in love

I want so desperately to be known

and touched

and seen

but I shy away when it is offered to me

Even when I have the courage to grip it tight

somehow it slips through my fingers

Why is it so hard for me to just be happy?

I just want to be happy.

[sapphos-roommate]

A flower covered in frost

It is beautiful in a sad kind of way

The thing that we find so entrancing

Is the very thing that hurts it

[sapphos-roommate]

I'm doing the poetry thing again!! Sorry for the random and unplanned hiatus, my ex partner and I broke up and my mental health was pretty bad for a while, so finding energy to write poetry amongst my other work was just not possible for a bit.

My post will not be regular, as I never planned it to be regular in the first place, but do expect more poetry from me in the future. I am healing and I have a new boyfriend (love poetry is so back).

[sapphos-roommate]

The universe finishes their latest masterpiece

with a dusting of powdered sugar

But still, it is not right

Again, they say

I walk down the street with a rhythm of three

On a ground both solid and precarious

I see a man water his car

And flowers yearn for freedom

A rhythm of two joins me

Reflected across the black river of stone

Time picks her favourites

Leaving others abandoned in the gutter

The universe holds a paintbrush in their teeth

Still it is not perfect

They add a slope here, cloak her in snow

And still they say, Again

[sapphos-roommate]

Fuchsia Sunset - Philip Craig

Canadian, b. 1951 -

Oil on canvas, 24 x 30 in.

[sapphos-roommate]

[sapphos-roommate]

dumb little stanza that didnt make the cut for the poem im currently writing but i thought you guys might like anyway

[sapphos-roommate]

I have a longing that I nurse

deep in my chest

I long for arms around me in the night

I long to feel a heart beating

and lugs breathing

in sleep next to me

I want to sleep with you

In the most innocent sense of the phrase

[sapphos-roommate]

No one ever taught me how to love normally.

I love as a blaze,

a fire

that will warm

but will also burn

[sapphos-roommate]

Wow I'm really gay

[sapphos-roommate]

Sometimes I say something too honest

And people get worried

I didn't mean to worry you

I just let the mask slip

and you saw that there was no real face behind it

just fire

and screaming

and blood

You were never supposed to see the blood.

I didn't mean to scare you.

[sapphos-roommate]

I scream into the void until my voice is hoarse,

only to realize the void is screaming too,

and neither of us can help each other.

[sapphos-roommate]

the world's gentlest thief

Crept into my ribcage

And stole my heart

[sapphos-roommate]

Oh Icarus

How beautiful you were

As you fell

Burning wings

Crashing into the sea

But for all that you fell

Still, you flew

And sometimes I wonder

If you smiled

In that instant

Between flame and waves

And you thought

I burned, but still, I flew.

And sometimes, Icarus

I envy you

Not for the flying

But for the burning

The falling

To fall from such a height

That the ripples echo through history

And find their way into the life

Of someone so far away.

Because, my sweet Icarus

You flew, but you still fell

And the way you fell

So beautifully

Into poetry

How could I not envy you?

[sapphos-roommate]

I would break myself

into a thousand shards

and put me back together

Exactly how you want me

I know that you would never hurt me

but that doesn't help me

when I want to implode

with all the things that I feel

I can feel all of these

filling my lungs

I'm clawing at the edge of sanity

drowning in feelings

love

dispare

fear

happiness

sadness

I can't handle it

I'm drowning in it all

[sapphos-roommate]

Falling, flying.

I feel like I'm running out of time.

I was walking in the ocean,

and I looked out to sea.

I suddenly had this desire to just walk out there.

To just keep walking forever,

and never come back.

I dream of falling,

not flying.

I have so much left to say.

I was looking at the stars,

and I wondered,

what it would be like to touch them.

Not for greatness,

just to burn.

There would be so many stories,

that would go unfinished.

Not just mine.

But that's okay.

I'm not sure they would ever be finished anyway.

Just please.

Whatever happens,

Don't let them put that name,

on my gravestone.

For another night.

It will just be a dream.

Of falling,

not flying.