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haha what if I just came back

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RILEY????? YOURE ALIVE?????

I mean.... I am, but this blog? 

But wasgood?

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NORMAL FRIENDS DON’T THINK LIKE THAT.

The voice finally got through to Fox, and he snapped back into reality. What am I doing?! he thought, suddenly releasing Vance in surprise. Vance’s eyes flew up in shock, unaware of what was just going on in his friend’s mind. “I uh,” Fox stuttered, trying to think of a way to escape. “I should, uh, probably get going now. Your dad’ll be back soon, right?”

Vance glanced at the clock nearby, sighing. “You’re probably right, he’ll be back within the next ten minutes...” He smiled back at Fox. “I wish he’d give me my phone so we could text... but do you think you might be able to visit again?”

Fox shrugged, scratching the stubble on his chin. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to... I’ll keep in contact with Drew, though, to see if I’m able to.”

“Okay... well, I’ll let you know if I’m able to leave soon, so we can meet up again.” Vance give him one last hug. “I’ll see you soon, Fox.”

He awkwardly hugged him back, his face bright red. “Yeah, I’ll see you soon.”

As he walked out of the hospital room, he couldn’t silence the thoughts running through his head. What just happened?

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PSA

This blog is now co-run by myself (Riley) and my bestie of all time @viper-fish (she demanded that I give them my password so they can make me a sell out by tagging everything on my posts and I just shrugged and went ‘okay’). 

And now, a message from my best friend:

i mean to run this blog into the absolute ground, full stop. no hostages taken

but on the real, hello everyone!! i’m riley’s new tag manager, nice to meet you!! some of yall know me but to those of you who are new to me, i like elves and putting winged eyeliner on literally everything :))

for the ones it concerns, i’m an aquarius and my grammar is garbage.

i also talk a lot. that is all

<333333 @viper-fish but you can call me lydia!!

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They stood there for a while, hugging the whole time until Vance had cried himself out of tears. “God... I’m exhausted,” he said, hiccuping as he rested his head against Fox’s shoulder. Fox chuckled, patting Vane on the back.

“That happens when you cry for like, five minutes straight,” he said lightheartedly, earning a laugh from his friend. “Do you feel better now?”

“ I mean, as good as you can when you have a chronic disorder,” he laughed back. He pulled away from the hug, sniffling, but with a tired smile on his face. The bags under his eyes looked more prominent, and Fox hated seeing him like this: tired and sad and disheartened. It was awful. Vance smiled up at him, and he definitely looked exhausted. “Thank you for coming to see me, Fox,” he said after a moment. “It... it was really good to see you again.”

“Yeah... you too,” Fox replied quietly. He couldn’t help but note just how close their faces were. Despite the tear tracks staining his cheeks and the way his face seemed more hallow and pale, he couldn’t help but think he looked... handsome.

Normal friends don’t think like that, a voice echoed in his mind.

He cupped the side of Vance’s face, and his heart skipped as he leaned into the warmth of his hand. Vance looked so relieved that he was there, that he could talk to him again, and it made him feel... important. Like no matter what, Vance would always want him there with him.

Normal friends don’t think like that.

Fox couldn’t help when his eyes landed on Vance’s lips. They were chapped and pale, but Fox really couldn’t help but think about just how close they were...

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Fox held his friend as he sobbed into his shoulder, no doubt as painful memories flooded his mind. He couldn’t stand to see Vance this way, and he would have given anything to dry his tears, or hell, cure his illness.

“Fox...” he heard Vance choke out. “Fox, I... I’m so scared. The doctor’s don’t know that I know that.... that...”

“Know what, Vance?” he asked, smoothing his hair.

Vance let out another sob. “Addison’s is so... it’s so much deadlier to younger patients, Fox...! I know because I... because I researched it so intensely while my mom was still alive with it...! I don’t... I don’t wanna die...!”

Fox felt his blood run cold and he held Vance even tighter. “You’re not gonna die, Vance,” he said sternly, more to keep himself from panicking than anything else. “The doctor’s realized what it was early on, so they’re gonna be able to treat it, okay? You’re not gonna die. You’re not gonna die.”

He was distraught. His best friend was talking about dying and the only thing he could do was tell him he wouldn’t. What else was he supposed to do? Is this why Vance had wanted to tell him the diagnosis himself? Was he scared it would be his last chance to speak with him? “Don’t think about that right now, okay? Just focus towards getting better. I know you’re gonna make it through this. I know it, Vance.”

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Addison’s disease... why did that sound so familiar to Fox? He wracked his brain, trying to remember if he had learned it in Freshman Biology or something along those lines, but he just couldn’t place it. “I...”

Vance turned back to him, eyes downcast. “I don’t blame you for not remembering, Fox. It was a long time ago...” his voice was wavering as he spoke, and Fox wanted nothing more than to pull him into a hug to keep him from crying. “It... it’s what my mom had. Addison’s disease is the thing that killed my mom.”

Oh. Oh. Now Fox was hit with memories that knocked the breath out of him. Eighth grade. Getting a frantic call from Vance one night. Crying. The mention of a hospital. The sound of Vance’s father shouting frantically in the background. The months of mourning that followed, where Fox could only offer hugs and a shoulder to cry on. He had never met his mom, only seen her on TV or in fashion magazines, but he knew how hard her passing had been for Vance.

And now Vance had the same disease that took her away from him.

“It’s rare for people like my mom to die from it, but,” he clenched his fists, “... she had an Addisonian Crisis. They didn’t know she had it until she was dying from it.” Fox watched as tears started to spill from Vance’s blue eyes, and his heart broke for his friend. “And it’s... it’s supposed to be even rarer for it to be passed down genetically, and yet...!”

Vance broke into sobs, unable to hold them back anymore. Fox stepped forward and cupped his face in his hands, unable to bear the sorrow his friend was facing. “Vance, I’m so sorry,” he said as his friend cried. “I’m so, so sorry.”

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Vance’s cheek brushed against his neck, and the chill of his skin sent a shiver down his spine. “Vance,” he said, pulling out of the hug, “you’re freezing.” He placed a hand against the side of his face, and even through his glove he could feel how cold his skin was. That’s when he remembered. “Vance... what was your diagnosis? Drew wouldn’t tell me because he said you wanted to do it in person.” His voice was soft and overwhelmingly concerned. Vance had been perpetually cold since the end of middle school, and they all just thought it was normal. Is that why he was in the hospital?

Vance frowned, his brow furrowing and his lip quivering slightly before he pushed away from Fox. He covered his mouth with his hand, as if he just remembered that he was sick. “God... Fox, I... I should have known this would happen to me, I just... the doctors said it was so rare, that the chances of me having it would be slim to none--”

“Having what, Vance? Please, I’ve been so worried, tell me what’s wrong.” He didn’t like how desperate he sounded, but he couldn’t help it: he was desperate.

Vance faced the windows, not turning around to face his friend. Fox took a tentative step forward, not wanting to upset him, before he finally answered him.

“It’s... it’s Addison’s, Fox. I have Addison’s disease.”

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Fox heard bare feet slapping against the cold tile floor before he felt Vance pull him into a hug, resting his head against his shoulder. “I missed you, Fox,” he said softly, causing Fox’s heart to jump into his throat.

Normal friends don’t feel like this when their friend says they miss them.

The words hissed in the back of his mind as he cautiously wrapped his arms around his frail friend, before holding him tightly against himself. “I missed you too, Vance.” I missed you so much.

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Vance jumped at his voice and spun around quickly, a surprised look on his face that was quickly exchanged for that of joy. “Fox!”

Fox smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Hey, Vance. Sorry it took me so long to come visit you... I had a hell of a time explaining this all to Peach. I... I hope you’re not mad with me...” he said, glancing around the room, afraid to look directly at the ghastly blond boy--not only out of fear of his reaction, but his appearance made his heart ache.

“Mad at you?” he heard him chuckle. “Why on earth would I be mad at you? Come here.”

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Fox took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. This is your best friend, he kept telling himself. Why am I nervous? After what felt like hours, he finally brought himself to knock on the door. He heard a soft confirmation from within, and opened the door.

And there was Vance. 

He stood in front of the windows to his room, staring out at the frozen landscape outside. His skin was paler than Fox had ever seen it--much paler. It made the pastel blue of his hospital gown look much darker than it really was, and the bright hospital lights didn’t help with his washed out complexion. He seemed tense, and he couldn’t help the anxiety that rose in him as well.

“Vance?”

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“Hey, why would he be mad?” Drew asked, suddenly realizing how nervous his friend was. “This is Vance we’re talking about, he doesn’t have an angry bone in his body.”

“I know, but... he’s been here for two weeks now, and I’m just now visiting him...” He knew the odds of Vance being upset with him were slim at best, but he couldn’t help the anxiety that was flooding his brain. It had been there on the drive here, but now that he was standing feet away from the hospital room his friend resided in, it was much, much stronger. “This rivalry is so stupid... I just want Vance and I to be friends.”

Drew wrapped his arm around Fox’s shoulders, giving him a side hug. “Listen, Fox... one of these days, you and Vance won’t have to worry about his dad and your uncle. And when that day comes, you guys can be free to be friends to the world, and nobody can stop you. That day might come after graduation, or it might come next week, who knows. For now,” they stopped outside of Vance’s room, and Drew placed both his hands on Fox’s shoulders, smiling at him, “just be there for him. That’s all you need to do.”

Fox smiled, doing his best to calm his breathing. Drew was so wise sometimes, just like Odette, and he was thankful to have him in his life. “Thanks, Drew.”

“Of course. Now, there’s someone who really wants to see you.” Drew gave him one last smile before patting him on the shoulder and walking back to the waiting room, leaving Fox alone in front of Vance’s room.

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“And you’re sure Vance’s dad won’t be back for another hour?” Fox asked as he and Drew walked through the hospital corridor. The white walls and tile floors were unsettling to him, and he couldn’t help but feel anxious.

“Of course, Fox. He always takes about an hour for lunch and personal meetings, depending on the situation.” Drew was so nonchalant about the whole situation, and it made Fox’s worry double. Of course, he didn’t have to worry about Spenser like he did; he was popular at school and had an incredible reputation, so it wasn’t hard for Spenser to let him visit his son. “I still don’t understand why you have to keep your friendship a secret from him... like, I get your uncle doesn’t like him, but Mr. Williams doesn’t exactly know your his nephew, you know?”

Fox had been thinking the same thing for weeks now. Why had he spent so much time worrying about this? Now that Vance was sick, did this rivalry even matter? “It’s... it’s complicated,” he settled, sighing at the ground. “But I get what you mean. I just... hope Vance isn’t mad that I’ve let this keep me from visiting.”

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“Are you here to meet Vance, too?” Drew asked Peach, dragging Fox out of his thoughts of jealousy and guilt. 

“No, I’m gonna wait out here,” she replied, shaking her head. “From the way Fox described everything, it seems like the two of them need a private chat,” she said, looking to her younger brother. Fox gave her a thankful smile in return, grateful that she understood. “Besides, I need to text my friends to make them aware of the situation.”

Drew raised an eyebrow. “’Situation?’” he asked, looking to Fox.

Peach waved her hand. “I’ll tell you about it after you show Fox to Vance’s room, I don’t wanna waste anymore time.”

“Right, right. Alright, Fox, follow me.”

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Fox sighed with relief as he walked over to the seating area, thankful that his friend was there for this. “Drew?” he asked as he approached, causing the brunet to jump in his seat.

“Oh, god, the one time I don’t check to see who walked in,” he muttered as he stood up, pocketing the phone in his hand. He smiled up at Fox and Peach, the latter of which had never met him before. “Hey, Fox. Um, I’m guessing this is your sister Peach?” he asked smiling over at her as she waved.

“Pleased to meet you, Drew. You um... you look...” she trailed off, trying to think of how to say what she was thinking politely.

Drew let out a small laugh. “Terrible? You’re not wrong.” She wasn’t. Drew looked like he hadn’t slept in days, if the bags under his eyes were a clue. Fox understood his predicament--he hadn’t slept well since he got the original call himself, too anxious to find rest--yet he couldn’t help himself from feeling a pang of... what, jealousy? Over what? The red eyes of his best friend’s boyfriend, caused by tears and sleepless nights? The fact that Drew got to spend his time waiting in the hospital for Vance to get better? Now is not the time, he scolded himself as he tried to focus on the situation at hand.

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The two entered the front doors, relishing in the warmer conditions of the hospital reception area; it was still cold, as most hospitals are, but at least their fingers weren’t going numb. 

Fox approached the front desk, where he was met by an apathetic-looking nurse. “Welcome to the Willowcreek Hospital, how may I help you?” she asked, glancing up at him through her wire rimmed glasses.

“Hi, my name is Fox Boston-Qualls, I’m here to visit Vance Williams?” Despite his nerves, Fox was still comfortable enough to speak casually with the nurse. He watched her type on her keyboard, scanning through the text on the screen in front of her. 

“Ah yes, Fox. Your friend over there told us he would show you the way to his room.” The nurse gestured to the waiting area, where a familiar figure sat, staring at his phone.

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Fox had never been fond of hospitals. Hell, he went so far as to say he downright hated them. Everything felt too mechanical, too clean, too quiet. Just the thought of stepping inside one sent shivers up and down his spine, and this time was no different. His fear came from visiting his grandpa Hugo on his deathbed, back when he was only thirteen; seeing his grandfather’s life drain away from him day by day was hard for him to watch, as were the reactions of his family. Hospitals always smelled of death to Fox, and he was afraid now, as he stood outside the Willowcreek Hospital, that he would have to smell it again.

Peach placed a gentle hand upon his shoulder. “I know you’re nervous... but Vance is waiting for you. Drew said his dad would be back soon, so we don’t have time to wait,” she reminded him, her voice soft, yet urging. Fox took a shuddering breath, nodding.

“Right... right. Let’s go.”