saoldicheangailte-blog

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GUIDE TO TROUBLED BIRDS SENTENCE STARTERS

i’m a 100% organic gangster.

another drink wouldn’t hurt— i only live two years.

anxiety and caffeine are having a cockfight in my brain.

oh. you’re an artist.

as always, all i should have said was, ‘i love you.’

you’ve been through hell and come out singing.

i puke in my kids’ mouths.

birds are creepy.

oh, i’m sorry— did i just blow your mind?

i hope you’ll excuse my cheap wit, but the hour is late and it’s all i have left.

i’d sell you to satan for one corn chip.

my crazy runs wide and it runs deep.

da fuq?

dealing with you is like herding cats.

i work hard at my job, but i suspect i’m purely decorative.

i’m a dirty bird.

i disembowel. it’s what i do.

don’t judge— i clean up real nice.

my only crime was that i was down to clown.

drink. travel. books. i went broke. but i had a hell of a time.

they might have passed a very pleasant evening had shit not gotten real.

evolve.

he proclaimed his undying fidelity and asked me to do the same.

i had to overcome my desire to laugh.

finally he gathered himself together and spoke, ‘what the hell?’

i’m always exchanging frequent flyer miles for guilt trips.

god can’t help you now.

he gave them the heebie-jeebies. he had nothing else to give.

mind if i just hum?

i’m humanphobic.

i do not go to my happy place. i go to my high lonesome place.

i have a natural talent for being irrational.

a financially unstable mess— but at the liquor store they call me ma’am.

looking for trouble, and if i cannot find it, i will create it.

i meditate mostly for a 15 minute break from this ongoing shitshow.

my modus operandi is the dial up of the awesome and break the knob off.

my self care begins and ends with edibles.

oh jesus. oh my god.

i couldn’t afford a therapist, so i decided, ‘hey, why not start a podcast?’

i poop on fascists.

the risk i took was calculated but man, am i bad at math.

she was lovely and charming, almost a saint. she enjoyed laughter and dancing, opera, jazz, and getting very, very, very high.

my self care begins and ends with wine.

i’d sell you to satan for one corn chip.

i’ve never been one to half-ass shenanigans.

the ability to remain sober and gracious is, indeed, a form of mild insanity.

i would look into your soul, but i’ve already devoured it.

things just got super weird— it’s my time to shine.

you’re three ounces of whoop-ass.

i’m worth two in the bush.

i love you despite the warning signs.

whom.

i fancy myself a woke-ass citizen of the world.

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AM I MAKING YOU UNCOMFORTABLE? WANT ME TO FEEL A LITTLE LESS? YOU SHOULD’VE PACKED THE DIRT OVER MY GRAVE TIGHTER IF YOU DIDN’T WANT TO HEAR ME GASPING FOR BREATH

semiselective private independent ex-serial killer oc.   written by magpie.   established october/november 2017;   current blog established 28/05/2018.

rules.   bio&stats.   verses.   tags.   blacklist.

image credit.   quote credit.

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my brother, my brother, and me / starter sentences. (pt. II)

feel free to change pronouns as needed!   /   pt. i

‘ scholars can’t prove that jesus was not from boston. ‘

‘ but no – he was actually in a feminist punk band. ‘

‘ you know what? that’s a new, good, adult rule: don’t go to parties unless they have fucking guest towels. ‘

‘ my age is actually defined by the fact that if i did that, i would die. ‘

‘ i actually would say, in this circumstance, poop in your hand plus me not being you equals very, very funny. ‘

‘ sexy garfield is compromised. i repeat, sexy garfield is compromised. ‘

‘ it’s like alec baldwin said in that movie: a - always, b - be, d - dipping. dip, i’m out. ‘

‘ now, i did learn a lot while i was in that bear pussy… ‘

‘ chunk pump makes me think of like, the old-timey way that pioneers used to get cream corn up out of the ground. ‘

‘ drop to one knee, kiss her hand. make sure you’re wearing a fedora and make sure you’re within eyesight of me so i can come kick the shit out of you. ‘

‘ people used to say that man couldn’t fly, and that earth was flat. and look what columbus did? he flew. ‘

‘ there’s a wild variance in quality of garlic bread. you really don’t know what you’re gonna get. ‘

‘ fast-food restaurants are, by definition, a gun that shoots burgers at you. ‘

‘ i’ve got in my cubicle a harry houdini bobble-head, a superman bust, and… a donkey figurine, from shrek, that talks. ‘

’ can you cook and eat the beans from a beanbag chair? ’

’ we’re gonna share this together, baby. you, me, and the lice. ’

’ nothing that you do on the internet matters, especially not on facebook. ’

’ have you ever tried to carry a dead kid? ’

’ here’s some other shit that has no significance. ’

’ here’s a quick lesson in urban legend. urban legend - kid was sticking his head out a window, a car was passing with, like, a dog sticking their head out of the window, the kid knocked the dog’s head off. that’s an urban legend. ’

’ it’s about to get stranger and stranger, just buckle up. ’

’ ghosts have to hang out where they die. like, forever. ’

’ that is the worst urban legend i have ever heard. ’

’ i do believe that everybody who asks a yahoo answer question is beyond help, um, from anybody. ’

’ i know that when i’m trying to stop impressing women, the first thing i do is talk about dungeons and dragons. ’

’ have you guys ever tried to drink warm milk? it’s foul. ’

’ my body knows that when i’m asleep, i’m basically dead for like 8 hours. and that’s not only terrifying but wasteful. there’s a lot of things i could be doing with my dead time. ’

’ abba? not so good about returning our phone calls. ’

’ can you find my scorpion’s genitals for me? ’

’ i just wanna be a dune buggy. they’re awesome. ’

’ i’d be a hearse that used to be a hearse but then somebody turned it into a pizza wagon. ’

’ we just broke through the crust into the creepy, creepy mantle of this question. ’

’ like, when i’m in the shower hangin’ brain, i can barely observe my own thing without getting a little sick. ’

’ there’s a lot of christmas-themed names for your testicles, now that i think about it. ’

’ you gotta flip it on him. make him think that you’re gonna step on his balls, and then maybe like, step on his butthole. ’

’ if i was a homosexual i would totally want a granddad boyfriend. ’

’ you know how human beings only use 20% of their dicks? ’

’ bradley cooper uses 100% of his 5 dicks. ’

’ here’s a fun idea, do some drinking. ’

’ i’m not so sure you know what gay means. ’

’ as angry as i was about this guy, there is a much more unpleasant gentleman whose fetish is a little boy stuck in a chocolate tube. ’

’ to ride a horse is to borrow the entire billy joel discography. ’

’ my butt’s a vagina? ’

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my brother, my brother, and me / starter sentences. (pt. I)

‘ stop it! what is this yo-yo creepy voice? stop doing it! ‘

‘ it is like the one ring - if it falls off, you’re not married anymore.’ 

‘ i’m all about charging forward as fast and as recklessly as possible. ‘

‘ maybe this girl is that big bite of the recovery sandwich that you need to take. ‘

‘ skrillex? he wrote the book on dub step. ‘

‘ what are you saying? how can i be a dick without being a dick? ‘

‘ well, don’t do that. i’m gonna vote against that one. are we voting? ‘

‘ so, we’re blaming memorial day for our malfeasance. ‘

‘ tear off the knob. tear. off. the. knob. ‘

‘ what? i was like, in the middle of the wisdom. i had gotten to the real nugget of this and you’re like, ‘moving on!’ ‘

‘ why not… the next time you’re out with your friends, do a tab of acid, flip the table, call ‘em pussies, blackout. ‘

‘ obviously we weren’t party to this, but there was a lot of fingering going on at church camp. ‘

‘ poop poop poop. you know what i’m saying. ‘

‘ the only medallions that i know of are either beef or enchanted. ‘

‘ you guys have fun with this one – i’m going to go buy like, nine or ten snuggies. ‘

‘ i don’t understand half the words in this question. ‘

‘ you don’t have to get worried until you hear him shouting something that’s obviously a safe word. ‘

‘ it’ll be nice when everyone’s finally allowed to have some weed for once. ‘

‘ you don’t get a mulligan. you just get a mullet. ‘

‘ listen, all i’m saying is that your friend’s gonna kill you. ‘

‘ you stay the FUCK away from my walnut. ‘

‘ not wearing the red shirt’s not an option because if you stop wearing the red shirt, then the terrorist wasps win. ‘

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text post sentence starters  /  original version here

“bro, you look so cute right now. dude, you are so fucking adorable.”

“wanna watch this murder documentary with me?”

“i may act like i’m sassy but if you’re mean to me there’s a 900% chance i’ll cry.”

“i may act like I’m clueless but actually know what’s going on at al times.”

“attention: i need attention.”

“i don’t have a nervous system. i’m a nervous system.”

“drugs? no thanks, the only ‘high’ i need is the natural rush you get from commiting a murder.”

“i think i’m subconsciously trying to ruin my own life.”

“why fall in love when you can fall on the floor and never get up?”

“i try not to sound like an asshole but it’s really hard because i am an asshole.”

“i don’t want to look ‘pretty’, i want to look otherwordly and vaguely threatening.”

“i’m the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person i know.”

“girls are so soft and amazing and nice and beautiful and mysterious and complex and loving and caring. i don’t remember what i was going to say but i’m just gay.“

“i’d love to relax but that’s just not realistic.”

“contrary to popular belief i’m actually soft and have feelings.”

“this could be less hetero.”

“to be honest i just need a hug.”

“why can’t I be mentally chill instead of mentally ill?”

“this is it, this is how i die: lack of attention.”

“are we just friends or is this flirting serious?”

“i have this problem where i isolate myself from civilization and then get upset because i’m lonely.”

“i may be ugly but at least i have an ugly personality too. consistency is key.”

“i don’t wanna get involved in drama i just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened.”

“i am bysexual as in i’m not interested, goodbye.”

“i could win an olympic gold medal in being ignored.”

“fill your heart with bees. if someone breaks your heart then they have to deal with the bees.”

“i’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.”

“i panic a lot of other places besides the disco.”

“which layer of hell do you think you’re going to?”

“my kink is being right.”

“my kink is being home alone.”

“you’re really sensitive for a selfish asshole.”

“i can tell myself to be heartless but in all reality, i have a big heart and can’t treat people badly, that’s just not me.”

“what about netflix and kill?”

“no offense but why does everyone hate me?”

“i’m a strong independent introvert who don’t need no social life.”

“why do i get struggles instead of snuggles?”

“if a conversation goes on too long without being about me, i’m out.”

“i’m small, queer and something to fear.”

“all this sadness is bad for my skin.”

“i’m cute and perfect but also unstable, violent and self-destructive”

“i’m beautiful and underappreciated.”

“she’s beauty, she’s grace, she’s me.”

“sorry for being awesome, loser.”

“is ‘no’ an emotion? because i’m feeling it.”

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I have done bad things. I can’t take them back, and they are part of who I am. Most of the time, they seem like the only thing I am.

Veronica Roth, Insurgent (via blu3rthanvelvet)

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NIGHT SKY WITH EXIT WOUNDS SENTENCE STARTERS.

all text taken from the poetry book night sky with exit wounds by ocean vuong.

‘  in the body, where everything has a price, i was a beggar.  ‘

‘  he was singing, which is why i remember it. his voice — it filled me to the core like a skeleton.  ‘

‘  even my name knelt down inside me, asking to be spared.  ‘

‘  it is all i remember.  ‘

‘  i was alive. i didn’t know there was a better reason.  ‘

‘  i lost it all with my eyes wide open.  ‘

‘  do you know who i am?  ‘

‘  how easily a boy in a dress the red of shut eyes vanishes beneath the sound of his own galloping.  ‘

‘  i’m dreaming of a curtain of snow falling from her shoulders.  ‘

‘  snow scraping against the window. snow shredded with gunfire. red sky.  ‘

‘  show me how ruin makes a home out of hip bones.  ‘

‘  let every river envy our mouths. let every kiss hit the body like a season.  ‘

‘  if you must know anything, know that the hardest task is to live only once.  ‘

‘  if we make it to shore, i will name our son after this water. i will learn to love a monster.  ‘

‘  he laughs despite knowing he has ruined every beautiful thing just to prove beauty cannot change him.  ‘

‘  hey! you didn’t have to go this far. why did you go so far?  ‘

‘  sometimes i feel like an ampersand.  ‘

‘  everyone can forget us — as long as you remember.  ‘

‘  i hold the gun & wonder if an entry wound in the night would make a hole as wide as morning.  ‘

‘  there’s a lighthouse. some nights you are the lighthouse, some nights the sea.  ‘

‘  what this means is that i don’t know desire other than the need to be shattered & rebuilt.  ‘

‘  even tomorrow you will have today.  ‘

‘  you’ll never forget yourself the way god forgets his hands.  ‘

‘  the body is a blade that sharpens by cutting.  ‘

‘  my mother said i could be anything i wanted — but i chose to live.  ‘

‘  i am ready to be every animal you leave behind.  ‘

‘  and this is how we loved: a fifth of vodka and an afternoon in the attic, your fingers though my hair — my hair a wildfire.  ‘

‘  when our lips touched the day closed into a coffin.  ‘

‘  the year is a distance we’ve traveled in circles.  ‘

‘  we made it, baby. we’re riding in the back of the black limousine.  ‘

‘  i love my country. i pretend nothing is wrong.  ‘

‘  i’m holding your still-hot thoughts in, darling, my sweet, sweet ___.  ‘

‘  you want to tell him it’s okay that the night is also a grave we climb out of.  ‘

‘  you say thank you thank you thank you because you haven’t learned the purpose of forgive me.  ‘

‘  you’re so quiet you’re almost tomorrow.  ‘

‘  to love another man — is to leave no one behind to forgive me. i want to leave no one behind.  ‘

‘  even though he’s gone, i still want to be clean.  ‘

‘  if only the rain were gasoline, your tongue a lit match, & you can change without disappearing.  ‘

‘  he dies each night you close your eyes & hear his slow exhale.  ‘

‘  wait, i have something to say.  ‘

‘  as if my finger, tracing your collarbone behind closed doors, was enough to erase myself.  ‘

‘  to forget we built this house knowing it won’t last.  ‘

‘  it’s funny. i always knew i’d be warmest beside by man.  ‘

‘  don’t laugh. just tell me the story again.  ‘

‘  speak — until your voice is nothing but the crackle of charred bones.  ‘

‘  look how happy we are to be no one & still american.  ‘

‘  i’ll tell you how we’re wrong enough to be forgiven/  ‘

‘  say you’d kill for it.  ‘

‘  don’t we touch each other just to prove we are still here?  ‘

‘  silly me. i thought love was real and the body imaginary.  ‘

‘  i said yes because you asked me to stay.  ‘

‘  there is so much i want to tell you. how my greatest accolade was to walk across the brooklyn bridge & not think of flight.  ‘

‘  you will always remember what you were doing when it hurts the most.  ‘

‘  dearest father, forgive me for i have seen.  ‘

‘  once, i fell in love during a slow-motion car crash.  ‘

‘  i wrote a better hour onto the page & watched the fire take it back.  ‘

‘  this means you are not alone.  ‘

‘  don’t stay here. don’t cry anymore.  ‘

‘  i promise to stop soon.  ‘

‘  how come depression makes me feel more alive?  ‘

‘  i shouldn’t have, but he had the hands of someone i used to know. someone i was used to.  ‘

‘  i dreamed i walked barefoot all the way to your house in the snow. everything was the blue of smudged ink and you were still alive.  ‘

‘  here. that’s all i wanted to be.  ‘

‘  don’t worry. your father is only your father until one of you forgets.  ‘

‘  the end of the road is so far ahead it is already behind us.  ‘

‘  don’t be afraid, the gunfire is only the sound of people trying to live a little longer & failing.  ‘

‘  remember, loneliness is still time spent with the world.  ‘

‘  the difference between prayer & mercy is how you move the tongue.  ‘

‘  so what if my feathers are burning. i never asked for flight.  ‘

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MURDER BALLAD: A NEW MUSICAL LYRICS SENTENCE STARTERS.

’  someone’s gonna die.  ’

’  from new york to berlin come stories of true love gone awry.  ’

’  we all want to touch the flames but not get burned.  ’

’  there’s always a killer so logically someone has to die.  ’

’  you’re brighter than the sun and i revolve around you.  ’

’  after three years it became clear, with close inspection, no one’s perfection.  ’

’  aren’t you scared you’ll say, when you’re old and gray, a better life has passed you by? and i’d be the reason why.  ’

’  free will and fate both play their part.  ’

’  trust no one. stay on guard.  ’

’  i don’t want the sun, i’m safer in the static.  ’

’  it’s two a.m., i’m drunk again.  ’

’  what did you come here for if you don’t wanna kiss? doesn’t anybody want to kiss me?  ’

’  is your heart broken? did mamma ever tell you, bad boys, they don’t stay?  ’

’  all men are assholes.  ’

’  shut up and kiss me,  ___.  ’

’  slow down, baby. quiet your mind.  ’

’  come on, let me ease your troubled mind.  ’

’  sleep. that’s what we do at night.  ’

’  don’t pretend that things are alright.  ’

’  don’t make me a promise. people take those away.  ’

’  i don’t want anyone to love me — but i do want you to stay.  ’

’  i will conquer this damn city.  ’

’  won’t fall in love again, no, never again.  ’

’  a baby changes everything.  ’

’  you don’t understand. you will never understand.  ’

’  slow down. listen, please hear me.  ’

’  you, you are the morning. you start each day anew.  ’

’  i’m trying but this darkness won’t let go of me.  ’

’  how did i become so useless in this time and place?  ’

’  oh, god. i love her smile.  ’

’  things got turned around, fucked-up mistakes that broke us down.  ’

’  man, don’t be a fool. she’s not coming back for you.  ’

’  i had a dream of us in our sixties. was a cold winter night in new york city, walking down a cobbletone street. empty, but you were holding my hand, smiling at me.  ’

’  a kiss like a mouth tattoo burns in me and i don’t know what i’ll do.  ’

’  but if i choose to scald my story, does it mean that i’m in love with you?  ’

’  let me count the ways i love you, and then i’ll count the ways i don’t.  ’

’  she’s the kind of pretty to scare the words away.  ’

’  drop the briefcase, grab a cup of coffee, talk romantic poets.  ’

’  their words are yours to build upon.  ’

’  don’t forget the thing.  ’

’  you walked in and chipped out a little piece of my heart.  ’

’  stopped clock, doors locked, let’s shut the world out.  ’

’  i never knew a sound could ease my pain until i heard your voice speak my name.  ’

’  don’t stop, but don’t say that you love me.  ’

’  tears look so damn beautiful glistening on the screen, but no one thinks they’re pretty in a real-life crying scene.  ’

’  if you’re awake, we can talk.  ’

’  we could stay in bed all day just like we used to do.  ’

’  don’t ask how long. we’re built for longing.  ’

’  we all want the sun and skies.  ’

’  maybe a baby or two. a better life, i promise you.  ’

’  you and me were made for wanting. we’re always gonna want for something.  ’

’  i’m only here to say goodbye. we both know the reasons why.  ’

’  i fucked up, and i’m to blame. i’m gonna right this wrong.  ’

’  where are you? answer me.  ’

’  i don’t love you. i love ___, not you.  ’

’  i’ve always been in love with you, i’d do anything that you asked me. don’t leave me.  ’

’  we are two cats in a fishbowl. we are two dogs in a boneyard.  ’

’  you belong to me.  ’

’  so many alibis. go on, choose your lies.  ’

’  i know how happy we could be. what the hell was wrong with me?  ’

’  i’ll start my whole life up brand new.  ’

’  you haven’t aged a single day.  ’

’  don’t say a word. don’t wanna hear your lies, don’t you even try.  ’

’  little by little, i knew something was wrong.  ’

’  does this life bore you? did you have to get away?  ’

’  you know we love you more than anything.  ’

’  go ahead, now cry.  ’

’  they think they can return to when they were younger. like life was better.  ’

’  right now i feel like i could do anything i wanna do.  ’

’  i wanna watch them bleed. i’ll use my imagination and walk on it — broken glass, throats are slashed, their blood splattered on the wall.  ’

’  playtime is over, i’m not playing, i’m done playing.  ’

’  you’re mine and i’m yours.  ’

’  blood looks so damn beautiful. scarlet on the screen.  ’

’  it don’t take much to die.  ’

’  i can say ‘cuz i was there: love and war are never fair.  ’

’  please, look at me. turn around and look at me.  ’

’  go on then, walk away. you’re better off without me.  ’

’  please don’t say goodbye.  ’

’  before you walk away, if you ever loved me, please just hold me.  ’

’  you’re far too good for me. i know how much you loved me.  ’

’  no one ever gets forever. only days.  ’

’  i’m not erasable.  ’

’  he was mine and i was his. that’s the truth, i swear it is.  ’

[saoldicheangailte-blog]

me, contemplating bringing back another oc: hmm. yes?

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❝   APHRODITE,  ❞   i plead to the moon   -   drenched night sky.  ❝   tell me, if love is meant to heal, then why does it destroy those who choose it?  ❞    from somewhere beyond the clouds, i heard the goddess laugh, and i knew.

#BARBIEISH   —   independent + selective original character. kissed by judas.

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Send a 🙌 and I’ll introduce you to an NPC related to my Muse.

This means any minor ‘background character’ in my Muse’s life, such as a relative, coworker, friend, rival, etc. that they interact with in their personal canon. 

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What kind of relationship does your muse want with mine?

❤️ romantic 💛 platonic 💙 family 💜 mentor/mentee 💕 unrequited love [specify who] 💚 rivals 🖤 enemies

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for tomorrow:

redo verse tags & prompt tag

add new verses (going home & corrupted)

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darkness, depth, death and woman – they belong together.