sanctuarymoonfan397

[sanctuarymoonfan397]

Let's Talk

Prompt: mistake

Trauma treatments, I decided, were a massive mistake. Mostly because they involved talking. Talking with someone I didn't know, because Bharawadj technically wasn't a trauma specialist and ART...well, I lived on ART, and Mensah said my therapist shouldn't be my home, or my friend.

My first session was already going spectacularly wrong.

I wanted Bharawadj, not this small, wrinkly human with dyed black hair and bright brown eyes.

"I'm Dr. Lam Nguyen," the human said. "I should tell you a little about myself. I've been a therapist for fifty-three years. I started in the Corporation Rim, and twenty years ago moved to Preservation." She paused. "I am familiar with SecUnits, and how they are controlled by their governor module. And I'm familiar with their treatment in the Corporation Rim, and image."

I didn't say anything. Not because I didn't know what to say, but because I didn't want to.

This was such a stupid idea.

"SecUnit, tell me, why are you here to see me?"

"Trauma treatments."

"Yes," she said dryly, in a tone that reminded me of Mensah. "That is my specialty. I've read your intake file."

I shrugged.

"I understand you have trouble trusting new people," she said bluntly. "I don't ask for your trust, but I want you to know I will not betray it."

I stared. "I guess," I said finally. "I usually talk to Bharawadj. For her documentary."

"Yes, I heard about that. How do you feel about it?"

I guess I made a face, because she smiled a little.

"Ah. Do you not like that word?"

"I don't talk about...feelings."

"Yet here you are. Feelings are what therapy is about."

"Mine isn't. I just want to stop all...this...so I can do my job."

She cocked her head. "Yours aren't? Are you saying your feelings aren't important?"

"No! My job is. They're...interfering with it."

I stood up. "This is a waste of time."

"SecUnit, I won't stop you from walking out, but what will be achieved by you doing so? You will still feel the way you do, without support."

"SecUnits don't get--that. We get--" I shook my head. "This was a mistake."

"You don't get support. You get abused, by those you protect. That's a SecUnit's purpose, according to those in the Corporation Rim." She paused. "That's not your purpose."

After a minute, I began to pace. She watched me.

"That's something we're going to talk about, if you let me," she said. I looked at her.

"I'd rather talk about Sanctuary Moon," I said. She laughed.

"I'm familiar. And this is your session. We can talk about whatever you want."

I stopped pacing and stared at her.

"Why do you want to help me?"

"You said your job is important to you, right? Your ability to protect humans, to help people?"

"Yes."

"My job is to help people, too. People like you. If you'll let me. you have to be willing to be helped."

She nodded to the chair. "Helping you is my job, and I want to do it."

I glanced at her face, with my actual eyes. Then I sat down.

"Fine. But I want to talk about Sanctuary Moon."

She smiled. "Go ahead."

[sanctuarymoonfan397]

Hi Murderbot fandom,

Murderbot has a fucking message for you.

[sanctuarymoonfan397]

“Six episode later I felt the transport in the feed again, lurking.”

I love MB and ART’s relationship

I decided ART is a ghostly dragon to me, the ship is its lair and its crew is its hoard.

[sanctuarymoonfan397]

Just watched Alien: Romulus and I need and AU where Rain and Andy somehow end up in Preservation space instead of whateverthefuck the other place was called, and they both get a happily ever after where absolutely nothing bad happens to them again

[sanctuarymoonfan397]

rogue protocol killed me and then kicked my corpse around like the football so here is miki. to cope.

[sanctuarymoonfan397]

hahah remember that one time when your friend, who was way cooler and smarter than you, convinced you that if you changed your hair and cut 2cm off of your limbs then other people would like you more, or at least stop using motion analysis software to profile and shoot at you?

That friend was definitely an asshole.

I spent a bunch of the day in an MRI so this horrible ¾ down view into ART’s MedSystem is dedicated to that. I would say drawing the complex portions of spaceships is more fun if you’re actively thinking of the entire room as a character, but honestly it’s not. It’s not fun. I had to redraw everything 5 times. (And “9a8b617ab7ee7247ab” is pretty rude but you’ll have to convert it back to binary and then to ascii.) I added the original tiny ballpoint pen sketch so you can see the drift of composition over those 5 re-draws; like all idiots my concept of where ART is slowly drifts up to the ceiling, even though that makes no sense when ART is actually the floor and the walls and the drones. There’s also apparently a lot more shit in ART’s Medical bay but we have reached diminishing returns on my architectural attention span.

In my mind’s eye Murderbot flexes and primes it’s energy weapons whenever it’s scared, pissed off, or even just really annoyed. Which it only sometimes realizes is extremely intimidating.

[sanctuarymoonfan397]

Coldest line from the Murderbot Diaries is it being told be careful then it steps into a pod leading to multiple enemies and turns its risk assessment module off

[sanctuarymoonfan397]

[sanctuarymoonfan397]

Various robots/spaceships/spaceship iterations inside drone bodies/sentient viruses

[sanctuarymoonfan397]

On Friendship.

[sanctuarymoonfan397]

One of my favorite things about Murderbot Diaries worldbuilding is the casual revelation that sometimes Dead Space happens.

It's only vaguely referenced in the background at first because it's not really relevant to what Murderbot has going on, until it becomes really relevant, and then it's like yeah sometimes you roll the dice and your bond company lands you on a planet with alien ruins and the remnants of that civilization contaminate you, change you physically, compel you to build strange architecture and attack non-contaminated humans, until eventually you die.

Like it's to the point where even most evil hypercapitalist corporate leaders agree not to fuck with alien tech because they don't want to get Dead Spaced. And it's... honestly kind of hilarious.

[sanctuarymoonfan397]

"Is it a safe space to say i hate-" NOT IN THE MAINTAGS IT ISNT

[sanctuarymoonfan397]

Murderbot, Three, and ART off on some sort of adventure!

[sanctuarymoonfan397]

Murderbot reunites with Pin-Lee, much to her surprise

[sanctuarymoonfan397]

Binary Mind

[sanctuarymoonfan397]

I'm listening to all systems red (yes, again) and I am once again struck by just how uncomfortable the phrase "I'm your SecUnit" makes me.

It states what it is -- the function its supposed to serve. It states the fact that it's theirs, that it's meant to serve them, owned by them if only for the remainder of the contract -- that it's owned at all. It feel like "I'm your smart fridge". This "I" feels like mockery together with the words that identify it as an appliance, as their appliance. "I" is supposed to mean the person speaking, but these aren't the words of the person saying them.

Everyone's uncomfortable after that, which yeah, no shit, I AM TOO. Not because terrifying murderbot or corporate surveillance or anything but because this is obviously a living breathing thinking person bringing up with just a few words how it's never been treated as a person, how it has never been a person to the world at large. Just your SecUnit. Have you noticed that your SecUnit has been a person this whole time?

[sanctuarymoonfan397]

Also, side note: what the FUCK is it with people in the tags using the wrong pronouns for MB these last few days?

YOU'RE READING THE BOOKS/LISTENING TO THEM, SHOW ME WHERE THE FUCK IT SAYS IT USES ANY PRONOUNS THAT AREN’T IT/ITS SHOW ME ANY OTHER CHARACTERS USING ANYTHING OTHER THAN IT/ITS